Hello there! I have been reading this forum for a while and have finally registered. Hello to you all.

I have been learning to skate for 8 weeks now, and I have just passed Skate UK Level One. I haven't had the easiest of 8 weeks, 2 of the weeks I had awful hire skates, 1 week my instructor was off and the stand in one was awful, then last week was my first time skating in my new skates (Risport RF4) and I was as rocky as anything.

Anyway there is this, there is only one way to describe him, interferring old fart who has been around for the past three or four weeks. He is obviously desperate to be a coach and he really bugs me. I have tried to be polite but he comes over into my lesson when my instructor is seeing to the others and gives me advice I don't want to hear, and it is strange advice. One time before the lesson he came up to me and one of the other woman and told us to walk upstairs wideways to practise crossovers. Members of the public aren't meant to come over into our section, it is coned off, but he still does. Because of the issues mentioned above I have been staying close to the barrier so he easily can get to me, and get away quick.

I don't want to be rude, but I want him to bog off and leave me to my lesson! Has anyone else had a similar situation, and if so how did you deal with it?

It is he who is being rude, you have tried the polite route, now tell him to bog off!!

Don't have one at our rink at the moment but have had plenty in the past, none have taken the polite route, unfortunately from time to time rinks can attract some rather sad characters.

He's right about walking sideways up stairs! He may well be right about other things as well, but if his advice is unwelcome, you have a few options. First you could politely tell him, after your lesson, that you need to pay attention, and he is a distraction. Second, you could complain to either your coach, the skating director, the arena management, or all three.

Unless you really dislike him, you might consider finding some time with him after your lesson. He sounds like he could be helpful, and skating is an expensive sport. I welcome free advice when it is given at appropriate time and when I respect the giver. Don't let his age put you off. You could be turning away a valuable resource.

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He is a bit freaky too, he sort of stands at the barrier and stares at the lesson! I hardly know him, I have probably spoken to him only a handful of times. I think part of the trouble is the first few times I took the information gratefully, so he has continued.

I think you have your own instincts about this.
Forgot to say Welcome to the forum, a good thread to start with.

How about, "I appreciate your offering to help, but from now on, I'm only taking advice from my instructor so that I don't get confused."
Then, when he inevitably offers again, you can just say, "Remember my new rule? But thanks anyway!"

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"You don't have to put an age limit on your dreams." - Dara Torres, 41, after her 2nd medal at the 2008 Olympics

Well he's definitely a bit out of order for interrupting a lesson, that's for certain. Also if part of the rink is coned off for lessons, it's somewhat out of order for others not participating in that lesson to cross over into the coned off area. Maybe your coach could say something if you don't feel comfortable, or maybe you could have a polite word after your lesson has finished and kindly tell him you appreciate his offers of advice but would prefer him not to intrude on your lesson.

Anyway I hope you get it sorted and welcome to the forums. I see you're in the UK. Where do you skate?

Nicki

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We don't have one of those at our current rink, but I have met those guys. Most of them are harmless, and some of them have some real words of wisdom.

I guess you have to use your instincts, but maybe the reason he seems to be staring at your lesson is that his eyesight is not that good, plus, how knows, maybe he doesn't have much of a life and remembers when he used to be able to skate.

Welcome from the other icedancer, who sees herself as "one of those old ladies one of these days very soon".

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In our rink, the coaches are fine now... they respect eachother & their students. (used to have coach who stands there, stare at you having lesson & eyeing on your students ... the talented young skaters) It is irritating not just to the skaters, but to coaches themselves too.

Skater's wise, I have heard the skaters talking about a skater who does that. He has rejected by the management when he tried applying for a job about a year back. He started giving instructions to other skaters all the time as well as tries to give me some too.

I just smile at him ... and tell him thanks for the advises & that I do have some of my practice for some stuff coz it's experience from years of working on it, research & it works too ... but his idea isn't too bad (just getting desperate & very passionate about wanting to coach I guess).

My skaters do take his advises here and there ... but they are also very careful not to harm their techniques as well. After awhile they tell him it's a different style of doing it & they are happy learning & doing the way they are taught. Also as not to mix up the different ways, they suggest to stop taking instruction from him.

I guess it's just human to want to help other when they think their idea works. Just try not to over do it & looses respect from other skaters & coaches.

Sounds like a case of somebody not being fully aware of themselves or their behaviour. Some people are like that. Probably the best way would be just to indicate to the coach that it's strange how to guy keeps coming up during your lesson. And your coach will probably know already what to say to the person next time he does it, since it's rare that coaches will just allow people to just come in and interrupt lessons. So it's likely that you won't have to say anything at all, since your coach will handle it.

Definitely ask him not to interfere - even though he's right, in this case. But if he creeps you out, just ignore him, or say something like "I'm sorry, I find I can't talk while I'm on the ice, I need to concentrate too hard."

Welcome, anyway - and where do you skate?

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

Does this guy target women only?
Are you the one that he targets the most?
What is your gut instinct on him?

Ask yourself these questions and I think you will be able to come up with the answer yourself. Most of these characters are harmless but that said they are at the very least a pest and who wants one, when you are paying to attend something that you are supposed to enjoy.

Basingstoke. I am really lucky in that I have three rinks within 30-40 minutes away and was able to choose the best rink for lessons, and Basingstoke worked out the best with regards to cost, timing etc. Although I am very tempted to go to Slough on Thursday nights for public skate as it is adult only. My class is adult only with all ages on the other side of the rink for the public skate, and I can only imagine the bliss of having an adult only public skate.

1) Definately yes! Although the majority of the men go with their partners so I think that may have something to do with it.

2) YES! One of the girls had never seen him before when I pointed him out to her on the third week. The only time I have seen him talk to someone else was pre-lesson one week and that is only because he was talking to me and she came in and started talking to me too.

3) He freaks me out, simply because of the way he stares at my lesson.

Without seeing the guy myself, I couldn't say whether he's creepy or not--and you do have to trust your instincts.

But I will say this--many, many skaters love skating so much that they want others to love it too, and so they offer advice. If you initially were friendly to this guy, and took his advice, then he now sees you as a friendly face, and as someone who's accepting of his advice. It's natural that he'd try to keep giving it to you.

As for 'staring at your lesson'....this may be completely harmless. When I was in college, and skating the publics, I would often sit in the rink and do my homework, and watch whatever skating was going on at the time. I would often pay attention to certain skaters, and their lessons, because I was either trying to learn something, or I was just curious about their progress. (I wasn't close enough to hear the lesson, so I wouldn't consider it 'eavesdropping for free lessons' or anything like that.)

My guess is that because you've let him help you in the past, he's just taking an interest in your progress, and is simply studying your skating as perhaps a coach might do. It's kind of natural--I see skaters working and think 'ooh, she's dropping her shoulder. If she did it like *this*...' That takes a bit of watching to see. I'm betting that you're not used to having your actions 'studied', and that it wouldn't feel nearly as strange if it were a woman, or a skate mom, watching you.

That said, he definitely shouldn't be crossing the line into the lesson area, and should NOT be interrupting your lesson time, no matter if he's well-meaning. For that alone, you should ask him to let you be, or if he doesn't take the hint, let your coach know about it.

If he's honestly creeping you out, follow your instincts, but my guess is that's it's strictly about your skating, and harmless.

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Slough is nice, and we go there occasionally as we have friends there. I can never make Thursdays, though, as it's our dance club.

Also have several friends at Basingstoke, although it's a bit of a trek so I have only actually skated there once.

I take it your third option is Bracknell? That, too, is a lovely place to skate - I've only ever skated there, as opposed to competed, on competition mornings, though. But BatikatII and NickiT both train there, as do several other friends.

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

you paint the picture that you are creeped out by him, you got to set him straight, don't let him spoil your enjoyment.

You know, that reminds me when I first started in July, I was trying to learn the skate backwards and this elderly guy was giving me a little tips and then saying I hsouldn't really be learning it yet. Three months later I am doing back crossovers and he still can't properly skate backwards. He doesn't talk to me any more

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starting at 28

Yep, if Bracknell is in easy reach then it's good place to skate. We're a friendly bunch at Bracknell and it's much warmer than Basingstoke too...that rink is sooooo cold!!!

Nicki

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There IS one of these people at every rink. I sometimes skate during a really empty public session during the day. There are two older men who are okay skaters that work on MITF. One man is very friendly, the other's a grumpy old man. The grumpy guy has super-cautious crossovers with no lean, twist or extension. I said hello every time to both of them, which meant 10 minutes of chitchat with Friendly Fred and a muttered "Hello" from Grumpy Gus. Whatever.

One day, a 30-ish woman came to the session and was working on forward crossovers. She was obviously a beginner. The grumpy old man decided to give her some tips. Basically, he told her to bring her foot across. She was getting really frustrated, so I asked her if she was taking lessons and chatted with her for a few minutes. Turns out she was a group lesson beginner.

I told her I was a skating coach and offered to give her a quick rundown of the crossover tips: arms "hug" the circle, you're using outside and inside edges, lean in, twist your upper body, yadayadada...and SHE DID THE CROSSOVERS. (I just reminded her of all the tips her group lesson instructor had already taught her.) She was so happy, she showed Grumpy Gus!

The grumpy old man totally ignores me now.

My advice? Start giving HIM tips on skating. That'll shut him up real fast.

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Bracknell is actually my closest, but I can't find a time on the timetable which I can get to annoyingly. Unless the one of the internet is not up to date, which is a possibility!!!

It very probably is out of date since they keep changing the timetable. It depends what you are looking for of course.

Bracknell has club sessions on a Tuesday with an adult group lesson at 6pm I think (you have to join the club (£12) and pay for ice time/club lessons as you go along.)

There are rink adult group lessons on Friday mornings at 10.30 which are no good if you are working then.

Other rink group lessons I think are on Thursdays p.m and Saturday/ Sunday mornings.

Our rink doesn't do skate UK though - not until you start passport stuff anyway, though it does then have a good 'Academy' session on a Saturday morning which adults are allowed to join (up to gold passport only). For some reason adults who have NISA level tests (beyond passport levels) are not allowed to skate with the Academy kids

Practice ice is available on Sunday evenings from 8.30pm if you are a club member.

Nicki and I mostly skate on morning patches especially the lovely 9.30 - 10.30 am one but I think there may be some ridiculous restriction on this like passport gold and above or something.

I've just checked and patch ice during the week (after 9.00 am) has a minimum standard of our rink advanced test, which is actually lower than Passport Gold obviously. The 9.30 am patch is lovely as it's usually pretty quiet - sometimes just Batikat, myself and one other on there, but usually of late there have been about six skaters in total using it.

The club is definitely worth joining as you are then entitled to use club ice which is subsidised. As Batikat said, we have a Tuesday evening which consists of a half hour of patch followed by half an hour of group lessons - there is an adult group here! Also there's a field moves group lesson and patch on a Thursday evening and the Sunday evening patch. However all club time will be dedicated to our ice show rehearsals between now and Christmas so it may be better to hold off joining for the time being.

If you are able to get there in the day time, then as Batikat mentioned, there is an adult learn-to-skate class on a Friday and also the morning sessions (10.30 to 12.30) are usually pretty quiet.

Nicki

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Aaaargh! I wish I hadn't read that. I just can't catch a break when it comes to Bracknell club times.

Ice Dancer - I agree: finding a suitable time to skate on the Bracknell timetable is darn near impossible, particularly if you work office hours. It's catch-22: in order to achieve the (too high IMHO) level required to attend patch you need some quiet practice time - like a patch session for instance...(I know this isn't the fault of the club by the way - just venting!).

My former coach had a situation some years ago with a man (not a coach) who actually threatened to file a complaint with the PSA and/or USFSA because the coach was upset that the man was interferring with his team. The man had decided to take it upon himself to provide advice and input to this team (novice dance) after lessons and practice and had even started coming to sessions specifically to "coach" them. He would sit in the stands and then wait for them at the door. The skaters were very uncomfortable with the situation and made it clear to him they didn't want his involvement, but that didn't stop him (he blamed the coach for turning them against him). Things did stop, but only after this man shoved the coach into a wall resulting in an assault charge.

Let me say, this man was nowhere near qualified to be coaching anyone, let alone a novice level team. He tried to get approved to be allowed to be paid for "coaching" on some club dance sessions, but they turned him down. He has since been banned from several club sessions due to nonpayment of fees and a couple of other violent incidents involving club members. It is also my understanding (unverified) that he had other police encounters related to incidents that happened at hockey events.

I'm sure the man in your case is nowhere near the headcase this guy was.

Sorry, I got a little off topic. In any case, I think you should try the nice approach first by telling him you really prefer to work on the advice of only one person (your coach) and if that doesn't work, see if your coach can speak to the man. If that still doesn't work, then you may need to take it further up the ladder, but it also will depend how far you are willing to go with it. Good Luck!

Ooops...sorry! I agree, it is difficult to find decent ice at Bracknell if (a) you work office hours and (b) you are still fairly low level. I remember when I started skating I just skated on evening (tea-time) sessions, but they have replaced those with after-school skate which of course starts and finishes earlier. The only other option is weekend sessions. I hope you find something that works for you.

Edited to add that most of us adults at Bracknell learned to skate on public sessions. I had been skating quite some time before I started skating on patch ice and I know that was the case with most of the others. It is possible to learn on public sessions. Once I started skating a programme I benefited from patch ice, but before then I managed on session ice.

Nicki

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