Skate Canada has revised the Parents Guide to Figure Skating, if anyone out there has one of the new copies, I would appreciate knowing what kind of information it has.
Or maybe I could just copy all these posts and rewrite them into our own guide, especially this last one by dooobedooo, that's a classic!

LOL.....that was pretty good Dooobedoo, and although I could argue with a few points, I'm just too darn tired after a full day at the rink..... All in all, there is alot of truth in what you posted...

Dooobedooo, you reminded me of something that parents should be told: The most important part of the parents role is to raise a whole person. Nothing is more sad than kids who grow up under educated, isolated and over pampered. Kids need swimming lessons, music, scouts, friends who don't skate, etc. We have to be sure they don't grow up with arena head!

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Babyskater's Mom

"And if she is an ice-dancer, she will have great trouble finding a partner. Should she be lucky enough to do so, and eventually to get herself qualified for Nationals, the chances are that her partner will develop girlfriend trouble, break his leg in three places, or go off to university, and, in any case, will stop skating."

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

I think part of the parent's role is to step back more and more as the child gets older. Obviously when your kid is five or six, you're not going to leave him or her at the rink, or let him or her go in and expect that he/she will get ready independently. But by the time they're 9 or 10, you can probably drop them at the curb and expect them to go in and start warming up while you take three minutes to park the car. At 11 or 12, you could probably drop them off, run a quick errand, and expect them to warm up, put skates on, and be on the ice on time without you. One of the most disturbing things I see is parents who direct the whole getting-ready process long past the time they should. I know a little girl know who's in Freestyle 3 and is about 10 or 11 years old whose mom still ties, unties, and dries her skates for her. I knew a little boy at one point who was 9 and his mom was still putting his socks on for him. It's like anything else with kids; yes, it goes faster if you do it, but at some point it has to become their responsibility.

At competitions, the same thing happens. I work registration at my club's competition every year, and I see girls (and boys) who are 14 and 15 years old who can't check in without a parent or coach telling them exactly what to do. They don't know their level, they don't know their flight, their tape isn't rewound, they show up for the wrong practice group, you name it.

AAAAAAhhhhhhhh!! Makes me crazy to see kids this age who still can't tie their own skates. I regularly see one 11 year old, and one 13 year old who still have to have their skates tied for them. I'm thinking the 13 year old should definitely be old enough to be embarrassed! This was a pet peeve of Taz Jr's former coach as well. When Jr. was 8 and just starting to work on her axel, her coach told her that if she wasn't old enough to start tying her own skates, she wasn't old enough to work on her axel. I know - no "real" correlation there, but it worked because Jr. really, really wanted to work on that axel! It took awhile for her to get the hang of it and it did get frustrating to me to watch her have to stop and fix them 2-3 times on a session until she did - it was really, really hard for me to butt out and let her do it herself with the sound of ice time dollars going out the window while she was sitting on the hockey bench. But I'm definitely glad now that her coach pushed the issue. It was something that didn't really even occur to me at the time.

As a parent, I would love to drop my teenage darling off at the rink and go...but if I do that she is disappointed. She enjoys having someone watch her practice. It doesn't have to be me - she likes to have Dad, Grandmas and Grandpa there just as much. She just wants to have someone there.

As for competitions, I don't let my daughter worry about the details such as music, practice time, and which flight she is in. When the schedule comes in we look at it together, decide when we will leave, and if we have to stay overnight. Other than that, I worry about bringing her cds and backup tapes for her solos music and I also make sure that everything is packed up (tights, dress, hair accessories, skates, gloves, etc). I know she could and would do it herself, but I don't want her to worry about that. I know she gets nervous sometimes before a competition and I don't want to add to her stress level.

However, she does do up her own skates!

Speaking as a skater, my mom is very good about everything, she doesn't push me, because she knows I already push myself way too much, she comes to the rink occaissonally and is on the board. She used to be very involved but then the drama got to be too much. She and my coach are very close and communicate about my progress, but at 16, I have been taught to do stuff for myself. My coach gives me the bills, I am responsible for paying for some of my skating, I call my coach if I won't be there or to talk to her about something. My mom brings me to competitions usually, sometimes I go with my coach. She can't watch me though, she gets to nervous. She helps me get ready a little, but I honestly can't stand to have her or anyone around.

My mom is supportive, knows what I need from her, gets me where I need to be and pays the bills.

My dad isn't that involved but everyday when he picks me up we talk about the day in the car.

I push myself, my parents are just my parents, they have lives and can't always be at the rink and I like it that way and so do they. I would hate it if one of them was there everyday.

Speaking as an adult skater in my twenties...

I actually miss having my parents watch me skate. Not that I want them there all the time, but I'd love to have them show up and watch once in a while. They always used to be there when I was a competitor swimmer with my sisters, right from when we first started learning to swim as children. In my teens I went through the usual phase when I absolutely did not want my parents there, but now when I see the young skaters' parents at the rink, sometimes I get envious. I miss that immediate support and encouragement. I didn't know it was important to me until it's not there anymore.

Jeujeucda

My daughter didn't start skating until she was 10. She wore cheap, floppy skates for two lessons, then her coach told me she needed better skates (she was doing waltz jumps) and we ended up with Silver Stars, which turned out to be perfect for her, but there was no way she could get the laces tight enough on her own. It hurt my fingers to lace them up properly, and I found it difficult even with a lace hook. She needed them very tight. I'm sure I laced them for at least a year, and then continued lacing a while longer, but she was tying them herself. I think the new boots, especially, were just too stiff for her to tighten up adequately. I should add that she has exceptionally thin hands and fingers, and that may have had something to do with it.

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Many of the suggestions that were given were good, many of them clearly were coming from a coaches point of view.
The bottom line, you are the one paying the bills, and it is your child.
Check out everything, if your not comfortable with what a coach is telling you, that may be a red flag for you. Don't let a coach intimate you in to making a decision that you are not comfortable with. I have been involved in skating for more than 11years now, and have made many mistakes along the way, because I didn't know.
The best advice I was given was while we were traveling on an international for the U.S. It was from a well known (not going to mention his name) international judge. We were sitting across the table at the final banquet discussing this very thing. I asked, "How does a parent know when they have a legitimate concern and should approach a coach with a problem or an issue." He said, "If it is a concern, then it is legitimate. It is your child and you are paying the bills."
There are many good professional coaches out there, they are not at every rink. You have to search them out, and be willing to go to a different rink if you have to. I like working with coaches that listen to the parent, as well as the student. And, they don't try to cut the parent out of the skating. They allow the student to try new things, like dance. I've seen coaches turn their nose up, when a student wanted to take some dance lessons. The parent came to me and asked my opinion, my response was,"If your child wants to try dance and it is okay with you why not." The student was only in prejuvenile.
Get advice from other parents, not every parent or coach is going to have the right approach, but then you can make an informed decision that works well for you and your child. If a coach is doing their job, then you will feel comfortable, and you will let the coach do the job he is being paid very well to do.

Say,I'm only a fan but I just wanted to say that I went to a Skating Competition last year and knew right away to say that I was sitting next to a...Sk8family.

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FSWer

Also,as a fan I would say that as I meant in my last post that a whole Sk8family should take part in helping and crediting their skaters.Especially if there are siblings.

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FSWer

I would say at a skating competition you'd be hard-pressed not to sit next to a skating family. The majority of the people at competitions are there because they skate or are cheering on a relative or friend.

Just to play devils advocate....

If he is an ice-dancer (or pairs skater), he will have great trouble finding a suitable partner. Should he be lucky enough to do so, and eventually to get himself qualified for Nationals, the chances are that his partner will be so wrapped up in her boyfriend, and be so spoiled by her parents and coach that she thinks she is the best thing to hit the ice and refuses to work....oh, and she quits school....and he quits skating to go to the university.



Really folks, it works both ways.

Except that there are so very many more girls skating than boys in the USA (and Canada?) that boys can almost take their pick, while girls have to be very lucky.

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And a match is a match. If it works, both are very lucky. It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl.

I have a boy skater and I still get peeved when asked when is he going to get a partner. I say "ask him" and then stand back. But, if a fellow girl skater on the ice says, hey I'm practicing my dance, will you go around with me, he'd likely do it.