I was prompted to start this thread because of something which happened today. DH and I are learning a new lift, and he did it first with Coach. He picked her up and she started laughing. He put her down, and between splutters she choked out "I know it's hard to find, but my boob is not a handle!" Talk about an embarrassed DH!

Maybe you have some to share?

I wish there was a "like" option like on facebook, I want to like your post so badly!!!

Oh geez my coach and I are hilarious together, luckily my lessons are early in the morning and not a lot of kids are around.

I had a tendency to have my free leg way too far out on my back sit and wasn't keeping the free hip down and snapping into it, so the spin was never as strong as it could/should be. My coach told me to turn out, don't put out. That fixed it real fast.

Usually there are are a few "that's what she said" jokes per lesson.

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2010-2011 goals:
Pass Junior MIF test
Don't break anything

Oh, my coach and I also get quite inappropriate. We have vowed to make every analogy sexually oriented. Which has led to our series of jokes about stripper poles and other inappropriate moments. It's amazing that we get anything done, but we actually do a lot during my lessons

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Skating Dreams

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES." --Nike

LOL!! Perhaps having a ribald sense of humor (years with an ice show?) goes with the job! My (female) coach and I are always making boob jokes. To improve my posture she'll tell me to "go out there and show off that enormous rack of yours!!" ( I am rack-challenged). When working on spins earlier this year she yelled at me" You look like you're grabbing your boob! You look like you think it'll fly away!" Don't even get me started with the boob cracks when putting on the harness...

Oh yes we have stripper pole discussions during lessons when working on axels.

Coach: Climb the stripper pole and then spin around it. You should be able to do that.
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not like the women you date.

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2010-2011 goals:
Pass Junior MIF test
Don't break anything

that is amazing!!!! Zing!

I used to have a really big rack (after reduction surgery it's a C, so it went from ginormous rack to fine rack). Anyway, one of my early coaches told me that when I was doing 8s to put my boob over my skating foot. I joked "Which part of the boob? The pointy part or the chesty part? They're in different time zones,"

TMI?

Also, i have no fear of the public. My last coach was talking about one of her adult students who was doing a routine to music that was 'shake it, and show it' style. But her student was too shy. I said, "You mean like this?" and went into full tramp-a-licious dance in a heart beat. Let's just say, I have an idea for Nationals next year to do an artistic or interpretive routine to Tom Lehrer's comedic song "Masochist's Tango". That ought to get some laughs. I could only do it at AN.

Anyway, all that is no more. My new coach is a guy, very serious, and english is a second language. I will not be joking around with him. My lessons will be skating words only.

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Great forum quotes:
On Falling: '...it doesn't matter, it's what you do AFTER you fall that's more important' ISK8NYC

on a public session, dd was doing crossever and one of the staff coaches came up to her and told her to "keep neeeepples UP!!!". She was skating hunched over and whenever her posture droops now I yell "nEEEEpples up!"

We used to have a Russian instructor who would always exclaim, "Young girls! Be proud! Show! Show!" Of course, that only made them hunch over and cover their chests more!

This happened to a friend of my daughter...she and her pair partner were getting some choreography tips from her Russian mom/coach, and while trying to instill a sense of grace in her, mom/coach told her "girl in pair team should be like flower...you look more like bush"

Which is a very funny visual, actually...

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BuggieMom
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Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs....