Hi
Our rink has just introduced a rule forbidding parents from sitting in the hockey sin bins during patches (freestyle sessions)

Until this rule came in most skaters entered the ice through the sin bins placing their water,guards, music etc on the barrier and coming back to the barrier there throughout the patch for drinks, collecting music etc.

Many parents enjoyed sitting there as they could keep an eye on their kids, stop them spending time chatting to their friends instead of skating , help count revs in spins or check jump rotations while they practiced etc. and generally chat to other parents.

Also since our rink has plexiglass all the way round except in front of the sin bins, it gave a nicer view.

Now the sin bins are locked during patches so all skaters as well as coaches have to enter through the main door and carry their guards, music water etc to the barrier area from the main door. This area at the main door does get congested (and there has been an incident of a skater deliberately blocking it apparently)

The reason given was that the coaches felt it was health and safety issue as apparently there has been an accident a long time ago (though it seems only 1 in about 15 years) when some skater was stretching at the barrier and a dance couple ran into her.

Now aside from the fact that preventing parents sitting in the sin bin would seem to have no bearing on such an accident and nor would insisting skaters leave the ice to get their water, most parents seem to feel the H & S issue is just a cover and that the real reason is a certain coach's not wanting parents sitting there discussing his coaching or other skaters.

Our rink has a generally good atmosphere and the friendliness among the parents has been commented on by parents coming from other rinks .

So my question is this:

Does your rink allow parents to observe patch sessions (this may include private lesson time when they are under the direct supervision of a coach and practice time when they are presumably the parents responsibility) and if so is there any restriction on where they may sit and any reasons given?

Also where do your rink's skaters keep their water, music etc and are they required to leave the ice to access it?

Thanks

My skater skates at a number of different rinks. At some the parents must sit up in a viewing lounge which is removed from the rink, but you can see the ice through a glass window. At others, parents sit in the stands. You could talk to your skater provided you walked down the to boards, but in general parents stay up under the heaters. Most rinks we go to have a rule that forbids parents from coaching at the boards. I understand this in some ways, but with a young skater who sometimes forgets what to work on next it makes for interesting sign language.

If I had to guess, I would say that the new rule had more to do with coaches not wanting parents coaching from the sidelines than anything to do with H & S.

Our former coach discouraged parents from sitting by the boards --but she was the only coach so she could scold kids who were goofing off and remind them what they were to do.

There's no rule here, but I think it's pretty much frowned upon to sit by the boards and honestly, the only parents I know who do it, coach their kids from the boards and it's annoying as a skater. Parents sit in the stands. Or they volunteer to be a music monitor.

j

As far as music and water --kids leave that on the boards, but that can get to be crowded and a pain if you want to stretch on the boards. And my daughter has an amazing habit of running into the boards when she does dance and she has been known to knock everything down during one of her crashes.

j

Sit? Nah - I'm out there skating, too!

Seriously, though, the parents at our rink either sit in the stands or out in the lobby and watch through the glass. There is one mom who is notorious for standing in the entrance and yelling at her daughter through the entire session; it's seriously annoying to the rest of us, but nobody's been very successful at making her stop. Thankfully, the newer moms have observed that this is NOT the thing to do, and pretty much stay out of the way.

We put our water, CDs, tissues, etc. on the boards by one of the hockey boxes - the other is generally left clear for stretching.

Parents never sit in the hockey boxes - that's only for coaches.

yes, me too.

See, I would manage to walk by her, and "accidently" hipcheck her onto the ice. Oops.

Parents at the door would never be allowed at my old home rink. There were incidents with parents in the past and there are now a ton of rules. Parents are told in which sections of the arena they are allowed to sit. You're not allowed to sit in the seats that are near the hockey boxes. We get told that this is how "elite" rinks operate, and so far it's been difficult and laughable to hold my tongue, because I SKATE at an elite rink and they're not like that.

I sit in the same seat for everything, hockey, skating lessons, pro games. I'm hoping that they'll will let me buy the seat when they renovate the arena. It's not really close to the ice to hear what goes on during figure skating but I have total faith in my child's coach, because that's who taught me, I know what's going on down there on the ice.

Isn't it weird how we get used to sitting in the same place. I sit in the same chair in the viewing lounge at one rink my daughter skates at. Every once and a while someone else will be in it when I arrive. It really bugs me, afterall, that's my seat

We aren't supposed to bring anything onto the ice (guards, water, small bags etc) and leave them at the side on the boards during any sessions (can usually get away with leaving gloves, jumper at the side on patch sessions but that is about it). We have to leave our water by the benches at the side and get off the ice to have a drink. They cite health and safety as the concern here but I think it is just the management being bureaucratic.I understand not being allowed to skate around holding a bottle and drinking, but keeping it at the side doesn't seem dangerous to me.

I've lost a few bottles of water due to the cleaner removing them and putting them in the bin whilst I have been on the ice early mornings. Great!

Most of the parents watch through the class and stay in the warm café area. One mum insists on standing at the side and watching her not so young child for the whole session and often coaches her. She also stands at the side with the child's dance coach during child's lesson. It is very annoying to the other skaters. When she is 'coaching' her own daughter from the sides, she seems to think her daughter has right of way. And it often progresses to shouting at her daughter when she does something wrong and then daughter shouts back. Not nice for us all to hear. I think one or two of the coaches have spoken to her about not coaching and interfering but she still does it. There isn't a rule at our rink. Some mum's do 'encourage' their kids quite loudly from the side. I think it depends on their attitude and behaviour towards everyone else on the session that causes a problem - some mum's are nice, some are not. Some mum's do stand right at the side in the cold part of the rink and watch their kids (you can't always hear the music and see whole programmes from the warm bit) but they do it discreetly and don't interrupt or annoy anyone else.

And actually most of the mums stay in the café and chat. Or get on the ice themselves.

If our former coach caught a parent coaching her kid she'd say "Oh since you can coach, you don't need me" You got one chance and then she'd drop you. Since she was the only coach around for more than a hundred miles--it worked.

j

My daughter skates at three different rinks and they are all so very different. All of them kind of prefer parents to stay a distance away. However my daughter is only 3 and I typically stand right next to the door where she walks on as I get nervous. She is a very very good skater for her age but she is still only three.

When she is having a private lesson I sit in the bleachers and watch. But for freestyle and public I am right there at the side waiting incase she needs to go to the bathroom or anything!

At our rink, parents are encouraged to sit in the stands, where the view is very good. Parents are dissuaded from coaching their children from the stands or gates, and when seen to do so are normally told by the other parents, "you shouldn't be doing that. Isn't that what you pay the coach for?".

At our previous rink, we all sat rink side as that was where the seats were. I think the coaches felt obliged to come and talk to us about the lesson and the kids kept coming back for comments whilst practising.

On comparison, I think the new rink system is better as the skaters tend not to keep coming back to the side to talk to the parents and if they stand on the ice and yell, we still can't hear them!!

My kids skate at two different rinks. Neither of them really has any rules. At the larger rink I typically sit in the stands. Most of the parents do. At the smaller very informal rink parents sit in the hockey boxes during contract ice just because they're closer to the entrance and the small set of stands are all the way on the other side. There aren't usually very many parents there because there aren't usually very many skaters there. It's actually great because sometimes we're the only ones there. It's so informal that I usually play their music for them because there's no one else to do it and the sound system is right next to the hockey boxes. We go to the larger rink for our coaching sessions but this small local rink is 5 minutes from our house and perfect for practice time. (During group lessons parents have to sit in the stands just because there's a lot more people.)

We don't have stand seating at our rink, only benches and some tables with chairs attached.

There aren't actually that many mothers (or dads) at the sessions I skate at; those there are tend to sit in the same place all the time, largely to keep warm! Most of the coaches get off the ice to update them (and collect their fees) at the end of each lesson, and some of the mums go on tea duty, and either make or buy tea and coffee for themselves, their skater and the coach.

ETA Batikat, I do hope they keep your hockey boxes open during the competition soon - most of us sit in there anyway!

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

Don't worry Annabel. The club sessions are not included in the ruling thankfully. Our chairman made sure of that during the last committee meeting.

It also seems only to be early morning patches that are really affected (basically I think since that is when the instigating coach is there!)

It's all a bit silly as we've never really had a problem as far as I know, with parents 'coaching' their kids which I know coaches dont like. Most of the mums sit there and chat because it has a good view and has I believe contributed to the nice atmosphere at the rink. Our rink is always pretty warm so it's a pleasant place to sit. Most of the parents who sit there dont' get involved in their skaters lessons at all and just encourage their kids to practice if they are taking too long over their drinks or starting to chat to friends instead of practising.

I'm lucky in that I can skate other quiet patches later in the mornings, so don't usually use the patches where most kids skate and I enjoy watching them and would prefer to be able to remain in the hockey boxes to do so.

I think I'd feel less peeved if they'd admitted their real reasons rather than the spurious health and safety issue as not allowing the skaters to access the ice through the the hockey boxes has already caused some potentially dangerous incidents.

Annoying, isn't it - all the parents that used to be in the hockey boxes are now cluttering up the area by the entrance to the ice, so there was nowhere both out of the way and in easy reach where I could put my skate bag this morning. And the health and safety argument doesn't wash, as there's now a problem of obstruction that wasn't there before.

Fiona

Thanks Fiona
I'll also be mentioning that aspect in my letter to management. Just waiting to see how it goes on Saturday morning before sending it in.

Hopefully the 'trial' period can be ended sooner rather than later.

Interesting thread. I've never seen any written rules, but most parents I know sit in the stands. The kids do leave their water bottles by the hockey box, which is handy for them and makes sense to me.

There are so many coaches during the freestyle sessions that I feel it is respectful to stay out of their way and not be in the hockey boxes. It does drive me crazy when mom's yell from behind the plexiglass or stand in the entrance and yell at their kids. I think its the yelling, not the mom coaching that bothers me.

I have used the hockey box sparingly, mostly during a quiet public session when my child needed me to watch her routine before a competition.

I hope I'm not off on a tangent, but I am sometimes surpised by the attitude of coaches that are so paranoid about mom involvement. When my daughter played soccer, I stood in the yard and kicked the ball back and forth, when my daughter played softball, I got out my glove and helped her work on her throws and batting. So of course, having skating daughters means I try to support and help their skating however possible.

I was a former recreational skater, but I also realize I have NO business TEACHING new tricks beyond basic skills, but I certainly am qualified (as most moms are) of noticing bad form, timing her routine, reminding her what to practice, etc. I don't think these activities should be seen as stepping on a coach's toes, but maybe I'm in the minority. I also try to be discreet about it and do not yell, block entries or make a spectacle of myself.

I have noticed a few "crazy" skating moms, but generally I think most moms are just trying to be supportive, like we would with any sport our child selects.

Patricia

I totally agree with you Patricia that most mums - certainly at our rink - are just being supportive and as you say we can help the kids by telling them if jumps look rotated or spins have enough revs or they are bending too much or whatever.

I feel it's unfortunate at our rink that one particular coach seems to have a bee in his bonnet about parents and is spoiling the atmosphere for all those parents who enjoy watching their kids skate and supporting them.

I also fail to see why if a coach has a problem with their skater's parents they can't just go and talk to them and not penalise the rest of us!

We've never had a problem with mums shouting loudly from the hockey boxes or anywhere else - the other mum's sitting there would have quickly set people straight on that.

Today we've had kids stand on the ice talking to parents upstairs causing a greater hazard and the new rules have merely extended the potential hazard area from a known and largely avoidable area to a random one that runs all the way down to the main doors. Crazy!

I also probably wouldn't mind so much but this particular coach has numerous times got in the way of skaters even on the music - yet acts like it is only other people that are the problem.

As a mom and a skater who has often noticed what my daughter is doing wrong I have learned to NEVER EVER criciticize or point out anything to her about her skating. I'm her mother, not her coach. It's not my job to cricitize her skating. She has a coach. She's had several coaches. She has one Mom. I don't like anybody but my coach pointing out my skating errors to me, I certainly wouldn't want to hear it from my Mom. I don't know how old your daughter is, but as they get into the teens, trust me ~"helping" her out on the ice will do nothing to help the precariousness of your relationship in that stage. Teens are very sensitive enough to parent's criticism...it's totally unnecesary on the ice. If you have a good coach and enough lessons, if she's doing something wrong, the coach will catch it soon enough. I'm totally convinced that a parent's "help" will do more harm than good.

I think most coach's objection to parent's coaching is based on years of observing that (also even if we think we know how to correct something, we can be interfering with their teaching style...I mean, that is what they get the big bucks for ) rather than worrying about their toes being stepped on.

j

I totally understand where you are at with your daughter, those teen years are difficult enough without any additional conflict!

I wouldn't jeapardize my relationship with my daughter either. Right now, she actually asks me to give her feedback. She has coaches too, but of course they can't always be there when she's on the ice.

I know there are a few bad apple, crazy parents out there, but I think its possible to be supportive and encouraging without crossing the line. If I see an obvious error, I want my child to be aware of it before it becomes a habit. I'm talking about obvious errors, not fine tuning a jump or anything.

Mostly I just give encouragements like...good spin, keep your arms up, that was really pretty! or whatever. Like I said, I am not teaching her anything new, just supporting what the coach emphasizes in a low key way. I don't hover over her, in fact since she is my oldest there are many times I am too busy with her siblings to watch her continuously.

I guess I think its healthy for parents to encourage and support their child, just as we would with any other sport. Maybe it seems different because all of the practice takes place in a public ice arena, not at home in a backyard like it would with other sports. Not sure, just a thought. My daughter really does appreciate it when I'm involved in something she loves. Just my humble opinion.

Patricia

My daughter now 15 likes having my feedback - especially if I can say that she looked great of course.

When she was younger we were often on the ice together and both my kids enjoyed teaching me stuff and enjoyed having me look at their stuff.

I would never presume to 'teach' my child - indeed that is why there is a coach - but straightforward feedback should not be a problem to anyone. I dont give her ways to correct it - unless the coach has told me something specific to say. I work in partnership with my kids and with their coach so far as they want me to. Also I support their coach in encouraging them to practice more and chat less which I cant' do when I am upstairs or in the cafe.

I can though, point out if her extension in not good enough or the pattern not right in a dance or her hands dont look right and those things are of value. If she did not want me there you can be sure I would not be there - but she likes to have me there and I like to be able to support her. Occasionally we are on ice together and then we help each other. Coach has been nothing but encouraging in this. I can also help locate her friends 'not in lesson' who may be able to help her with something and she finds this useful.

When she had horseriding lessons parents were encouraged to watch and although I knew far less about riding I could still tell her if she looked good or not and when she was swimming I could time her laps etc during practice and I don't see why skating should be different.

Often all I need to do in skating is ask her what her coach has told her about a certain element she may be having trouble with and then she remembers the things she should be doing that she may have forgotten. I can't see how that could be in any way detrimental to her progress. Also since we have the same coach, I can often remind her of the things he says.

BatiKat --

Sounds like you and your daughter are having fun and enjoying the sport.

Gosh, when I was a soccer mom, (and really any other sport), if you weren't at your kids' practices and working with them in between to reach the goals of the coach, you were kinda looked down upon. Like you, I also don't see any reason why ice skating should be any different. I'm sure we are both supporting the coaches efforts, not undermining them in anyway; in my opinion its a win win for everyone.

Patricia

Shrug. Everyone is different. Personally I'd hate it if there was someone on the ice constantly giving me feedback, but that's me. I enjoy skating on the same ice as my daughter, but I've paid for the ice for me to skate, not watch her.

My experience has been that children being corrected and coached by their parents do not look happy, it is not happy for the skaters around them and that's why they make rules against it. It's a shame if it inteferes with something that works for you, but when you have a public situation, you have to have rules that work for the majority.

j

Perhaps this is the crux of the problem?

Were the kids all clustering around the hockey boxes (while still standing on the ice) and making things difficult and dangerous for people actually skating? Perhaps they were not paying proper respect to people using the ice? ie. if you need to have a chat to your mum, friends, fix your hair, do a spot of flirting, mix an isotonic drink, sort through your music, remove/adjust clothing .... then PURLEEEEEEZE show some respect, and get off the ice to do it ...

Maybe the rink needs a new rule for training ice, that says that IF YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY SKATING, THEN YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE ICE .... COZ THE ICE ITSELF, IS FOR SKATERS, Y'KNOW ...

And for health, safety, training and artistic reasons, surely it will be in ALL the coaches' interests to enforce it ...?!