I think where parents get into the grey area of "coaching" is when they've got younger kids who have started private lessons. The kids aren't mature enough to practice on their own without some prompting, and since the coach is off with another student, it is the parent who says - have you done your camel spin yet? This isn't a bad thing and is very common in my favourite rink.

Where it goes down the wrong road is when the child comes back to the parent and the parent comments on the leg position or rotation. They might be repeating exactly what the coach told their child and the parent has overheard this, but that is then coaching not parenting. Truely, it is. The leg position might not have anything to do with the leg, it could be as a result of the entry.

My kids skate, I'm a certified coach and can give lots of feedback if I wanted to because I do notice things but I don't say anything. (Yes, your mohawks are wide-stepped.) My kids come off the ice and ask me for money for the drink machine. A coach not our own thought that I was coaching from the sidelines and made a big fuss about it, and didn't believe me when I said that I was just doing my usual job as a parent - handing out money. I am probably the least-coaching parent of those that stay at the rink. I'm paying someone to coach! Like my kids would listen to their mom anyways.

I *would* say to our coach, "are you going to do something about those mohawks?"

And it goes both ways. If I commented on my kid's poor jump quality, they'd have the same right to comment on mine, and, ahem, my jumps don't need that scrutiny right now.

Making draconian rules about this and that can tear apart a rink, as I think of my old club where junior parents must sit --here-- and senior parents must sit --over there--.

I hide when my kids are being coached. Really. Well at least for my DD. She does much better when she can't see me and wave like a mad thing at me. She still does group lessons too and I sit in the stands for them. And wave * sigh* or make little "get up " motions when she lays on the ice. But I do try to stay out of it.

I stay around for my older son. Although funny story, the first lesson he ever had with his coach he was so nervous I thought he was going to EAT his gloves. I mean, he had large parts of it in his mouth. So I scooted down and took them from him. And then he was fine. But he doesn't skate with gloves anymore And that was really the extent of my getting involved. And his coach thought it was funny.

The trouble is the standing on ice and talking to mums upstairs didn't happen when mums could sit in the hockey box precisely because the kids could get off if they needed to speak to them. This only happens since the new ruling. I wish they would enforce the rule of the kids getting off the ice to chat but that hasn't changed. The coaches only take notice of their current pupil - which is fine since that is who is paying them - but without the parents to remind kids of the rules it is worse now than before.

Also it doesnt solve the other problems of skaters congregating in rink corners blocking everything either.

My point is that the new rule has not solved any of the problems but has just added new ones.

On the 'coaching' your kids issue, I do feel that since I am paying for training ice, then if my being there to help her is useful to her (and believe me I wouldn't do or say anything without her asking) then I should be able to. I don't understand why a coach would feel threatened by a parent unless they are insecure about their coaching abilities and the option is always there for the coach to tell a particular parent if their contributions are not helpful. I have seen the odd mother that is always shouting at their kid etc and I do feel sorry for those kids but it is very rare at our rink and the ones who used to do that seem to have moved away anyway.

When we are on ice together she usually comes to me as she can't wait to show me whatever latest thing she is working on and we enjoy working together in the same way the kids often do with each other when they show each other their various elements etc and have mini competitions from which they all learn a lot. I've learned a lot from working with her and if it makes my skating better why on earth would the coach be worried about it - and vice versa she learns by teaching me and from asking me questions about how things she does looked.

When son played football I knew nothing about it but could help him practice by doing the drills with him and same for daughter and hockey practising. Husband would play tennis with both kids to help them practice when they were having tennis coaching etc etc. I really don't see why people think skating is such a rarified thing that only a qualified coach should speak to a child on the ice!

The open hockey boxes made it a very sociable rink and to be honest most mums just chatted with each other often on things completely unrelated to the skating anyway and just stopped to watch their kids if they were doing their programme. Anyone could sit there if there was a space and it was a good way for new mums to integrate and get to know people and how things worked. It seems a shame to have stopped it when it actually was not a problem.

I hope that even if they dont' allow parents to sit there that they will at least allow the skaters to enter through there, as that would ease the other problems the new rule has caused.

I love the "kid eats glove story" !

Ha!, include me in the group of parents whose kids wouldn't listen to them.

If you're on the ice "fixing" your friend's sit spin, that's something totally different. When you've got skates on your feet, different rules apply. Although, even though my friend and I take from the same coach, I don't know if I'd watch and comment on her sit spin if she was taking from someone else. There's different ways of teaching the same thing.

I agree about coaches feeling threatened. I've run into this situation before. It's too bad that it's making a mess of your ice at the moment.

Wow...your child skates at three different rinks and is only three years old?

I dont' know. My friends (adult) and I often give each other ideas to try if one of us is having problems with something (usually we ask if someone has ideas we can try or something so it's not unsolicited advice which can indeed be annoying!) and because we mostly have different coaches sometimes something clicks that didn't before, no matter how many times our own coaches have tried to say it.

We used to take a group class on jumps and spins with a coach none of us had normally and it was amazing how often just a new way of phrasing something really helped. Personally I think there is far too much possessiveness amongst coaches and it would be great for everyone if they began to combine their strengths. For example while my own coach is excellent technically, he is not so hot on choreography (unless feeling really motivated which doesn't happen often!). We have other coaches who are great on choreography but maybe not so strong in other areas. How great it would be to be able to combine them.

I think that's often one of the reasons people who do both dance and free tend to fare better competitively as both disciplines bring something different and valuable to the mix.

Different coaches can work - can also be confusing if they have different techniques. But I don't think friends giving advice on the ice is a good idea, I learned quite a few things the wrong way from that. I've found that the coaches I have paid have been well worth the fee.

j

Depends who your friends are! And I'm not suggesting anyone would replace any coaching lessons with friend's advice but just like the kids do, when you compare and all mention things your coaches have said, sometimes something useful comes out. I don't have a problem with different techniques either. I have my coach's technique as a base but can always try something different and if it works then great - if not I can ignore it. If I am unsure because something seems very different, I ask my main coach about it. Just the same really as when you attend a skating camp with different coaches which most people seem to find valuable.

Also some rinks do a lot of group lessons (as does our skating club) which are taught by all the different coaches at various times and the kids and adults cope with that just fine - though obviously some coaches styles gel more than others.

People that are NOT coaches or skaters cannot go into the hockey boxes. Only skaters and their junk. Only because we had parents and others "coaching" which was disruptive...they "yelled" to their kid(s) across the rink.

So, they stood in the doorway. We complained how disruptive it was. Nothing happened until someone got their foot stepped on by a blade (OUCH)!!! No more standing in the doorway!!!

Can you believe one guy brought in a bullhorn because he lost his voice????? So, we turned the music up louder...

You have to be a approved coach or instructor to coach at my rink now.

People can sit in the bleachers. And watch. Or the lobby.

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Skate@Delaware
Ah, show skating!!! I do it for the glitter!

A sign forbidding parents and skaters from sitting in the hockey boxes just went up at the rink where I teach. It was prompted by one rather pushy parent deciding that she would sit in one. The skating director saw where that was going (see posts about parents coaching/yelling) and nipped it in the bud. It makes a lot of sense at that rink, though, because one has to walk or skate onto the ice to get into the hockey boxes, and there are three perfectly good doors to the ice for skaters. The hockey boxes have now been officially designated as for coaches only. I like this also because my rink is in a large facility where people can come and go who may not be skating, and I leave my things in a hockey box since we no longer have a coaches' room .

Me too! It got so bad at one rink that I actually put a big "DO NOT THROW OUT" label on my water bottle.

OMG, isn't it awful? One poor kid where we used to skate is so publicly dominated by his mother that DH says someday we are going to read that the kid murdered her. I hope not. I'm sure he can do even better by quitting.

I love it!

I teach tot groups all the time, and the single most annoying thing is when a tot needs the bathroom, and mom or dad is nowhere in sight! I won't allow a young child to leave the ice without an adult (or teen) escort who is known to me.

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Our sin-bin area - there isn't a bin as such, just a designated area in front of the music box - is the only place where there are no plastic protectors, and everybody goes there to stretch out, leave their water-bottles, coaches put their music boxes, and so on, and many people leave their stuff on the benches there. Yesterday, because of an electrical problem, the area was cordoned off - you could still get to the boards, but only from the ice, and we had the problem of people standing in the doorways, which we don't usually have. And it was awkward when you have a water bottle, several CDs for various programmes, gloves, and the other things that usually sit on the barrier.... still, we managed, and we hope the problem will be sorted by next week otherwise we might electrocute the judges at the club competition. On second thoughts.....

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

That makes sense at a rink where there are number of entrances to the ice. The problem at our rink is that if the skaters cant' get access through the hockey boxes they all have to go through one door and the area leading up to that is now becoming hazardous with everyone leaving bags there, that used to get left safely in the hockey boxes.

The annnoying thing is that the very same coaches who complained that having the parents in the hockey boxes was a safety hazard (and the reason given was purely on the grounds of helath and safety and not on the grounds of coaching etc.), can now be seen talking to parents at the only entrance door - not only extending the hazard area on the ice but obstructing the only entrance on and off the ice.

The skaters still need to walk across the ice with all their stuff to put water etc. down on the barrier in front of the boxes adn they still have to stop there for their drinks so there are now greater hazards rather than fewer.

Here's hoping management see sense and will open the boxes again soon.

My mom only came to see me skate once, and she spent the beginning with her nose plastered to the glass with the video camera watching me. Then, after about 15 minutes, she got cold and sat in the stands. Then she got cold there, so she went outside, took my car, went to Starbucks then came back to pick me up.

But mostly, I see parents either in the "warm zone", a seperate room from where the ice is where there is a place to get food, or sitting in the stands.

When I wasn't skating, I actually used to sleep in the car. It was 5 in the morning after all. I even had warm blankets for the days it was below zero.

Funny thing, when I didn't skate and slept in the car, I was still tired all day. Now that I skate at 5 am - I've got much more energy all day!

j