For the Guys: Odd Looks?

[sk8guy71]

Maybe it's just because of the area I'm in, but I get the oddest looks from some people this week when I've gone to skate (or at least attempt to get my ice legs). I go by myself and skate by myself unlike most of the other adults (men especially) who are there in groups or as part of a couple. It's really bad when I'm there and it's primarily the little skater girls. I take quite a few breaks just to refocus on what I'm doing and to watch the kids who know a *lot* more about what they're doing than I do (I especially watch and pay attention if there is a private lesson going on, hoping to pick up a thing or two), but then I notice that it seems like all the parents are watching *me*. I think they think I'm some creepy guy stalking the little girls. Geez. I just want to learn to skate!

I happier news, I've managed to work my way up into double laps around the rink and I feel like my skating and stability is getting more solid. I only fell once tonight and that's because I lost my focus when I had my attention drawn by a younger skater, in a lesson, who was clearly lining up for a jump, the flight plan of which would've been directly in my path. Considering I don't know how to stop, yet :lol: I was wanting to make sure that I wasn't heading (or she wouldn't be heading) right for her. Anyway, I snagged that blessed toe pick and went down *hard* on my right knee (it was so sudden, there was no way to work myself around for a different landing). It's a bit sore and I'm sure there'll be a nasty bruise in the morning, but other than that it's fine. Hey, if I can fall off a barstool and slam my knee into a solid concrete floor with nary a problem, slamming my knee on ice should be a breeze. :lol: (for the record, I was sober at the time --- my foot had fallen to sleep and I didn't know it. went to swing around and step down and there was nothing there).

[dbny]

Anyway, I snagged that blessed toe pick and went down *hard* on my right knee (it was so sudden, there was no way to work myself around for a different landing). It's a bit sore and I'm sure there'll be a nasty bruise in the morning, but other than that it's fine.

This is what those $5 soft knee pads are for! Like you, I should probably wear them all the time :roll:.

[EastonSkater]

I wouldn't worry about it. Once you become a regular for a while, everybody will kind of know who you are, and then you'll just be part of the usual crowd there. It's normal.

[VegasGirl]

I betcha they don't look at you thinking you're a creep stalking little girls... I think they're just amused (no offense) and maybe a little bit concerned. Keep on going, have fun and don't worry about what other people think... unless ofcourse you are a stalker then beware!!! :lol: Just kidding, just kidding!!!

[AW1]

I notice that it seems like all the parents are watching *me*. I think they think I'm some creepy guy stalking the little girls. Geez. I just want to learn to skate!


Maybe they are watching you, maybe they aren't. We have a guy who is in maybe his 30's who skates at the same time my daughter has her private lessons. He goes around all gung-ho doing hockey stops and dodging in & out of the kids. Whilst I don't have a problem with him skating with them - I do still watch him because a) I find it incredibly dangerous in the manner that he skates and b) he has been seen 'chatting' to the little girls....

Whilst being a lone male skater amongst lots of little girls doesn't make you a freak, keep in mind that most paedophiles put themselves in positions where they have access to young children on a one-on-one basis, hence why alot of people are apprehensive about this guy at the rink. (not only that but in general he freaks me out - there is something weird about him).....

Don't take it personally it's probably nothing to do with you per'se but more (from a parents perspective) parents just watching what their kids are doing in terms of interaction with you...

Then again, they could just be having a chuckle, or at the same time thinking of how gutsy you are getting out there with all the little kids!

[Clarice]

They're probably just watching you because they're afraid of accidents! As people get used to you coming on a regular basis, and as you gain control, you'll fit in better. If I were sharing the ice with you, I'd be a little nervous and would be keeping an eye on you because I wouldn't always be sure of where you were going so that we wouldn't collide. On freestyles, we're pretty good at developing an awareness of where other skaters are going, but beginners don't always do things in a predictable way. Keep skating - it'll get better!

[hutchndi]

Me and my wife are so inexperienced, and my wifes feet so bad in her skates (until her new ones come in) that she actually skated around with a walker the other day. Talk about getting looks. There are only a few skaters on the ice during adult skate hours lately, and most are nice even though I am sure we are annoying, but some people just seem snotty, like they own the ice. I know we need lessons, but there is a big sign with rules on the wall, and nothing that says you have to be an olympic skater. We stay close to the wall, and even though the rules state that stationary skaters stay toward the middle of the ice, a few just do their little routines right against the wall. We are the newbies, but we are following the rules, experienced skaters shouldnt ignore them. We took my wifes mom awhile ago and she was alarmed at the rudeness of people compared to when she frequented the ice rinks.

[Frumpy]

Don't worry about people watching you. Just focus on YOUR skating. I think as adult skaters, we ALL get "looks" from time to time, regardless of our level.

Don't sweat the parents with their little girls, or being the only guy on the rink. If you haven't said or done anything wrong...then they really can't complain. No one has any right to tell you when and where you can and can't exercise, especially if you have paid for the session!

It can be hard to "get over", but try not to feel self-concious or "weird" about your skating. You'll learn faster that way!

Good Luck!

[climbsk8]

I think you're getting a lot of good advice here, on both sides of the spectrum. Yes, parents are protective of their kids, and you have to respect that. But you have the right to be out there, just like the kids.

There are a couple of things I would suggest that might help you make the right impression:

1. Don't spy on other people's lessons. I pay my coach $90 an hour and I don't like to share with freeloaders. Besides, if you stare, that does look creepy. If you can't afford private lessons, then get group instruction. If you can't afford that, there are a lot of books that are helpful for beginners.
2. You mentioned that you can't stop yet, so it's difficult for you to dodge other skaters. That's OK, but during freestyle sessions, it's your responsibility to yield to skaters in lessons and in programs. You wouldn't drive a car without brakes on the freeway and expect everybody else to move ... it's no different on the ice. Consider public sessions, or uncrowded freestyles, until you master your basic skills a little better.
3. A lot of skaters who feel like they're not fully accepted respond by charging ahead full speed and blowing off their detractors. This ensures that you have practice time and space, but also ensures that you won't make a lot of friends along the way. So resist the urge to be defiant towards people who just don't understand you ... yet.

Some of the (adult) guys I skate with are local heroes at our rink. Nothing shady, nothing creepy, they've just been good role models for the kids and have gotten to know the parents over time. So be patient and keep working at it, and I'm sure you'll hit a good rhythm!

[phoenix]

1. Don't spy on other people's lessons. I pay my coach $90 an hour and I don't like to share with freeloaders. Besides, if you stare, that does look creepy. If you can't afford private lessons, then get group instruction. If you can't afford that, there are a lot of books that are helpful for beginners.

ITA! If I noticed someone listening in while I was teaching I'd move away & try to avoid that person. It's basically stealing. If it's obvious what you're doing, that would explain the negative vibes you're getting. It's very bad form.

[Skate@Delaware]

When my son was beginning in Learn-To-Play hockey, and I sat in the lobby with all the other parents, I overheard tons of comments from the other parents "oh, look at that big kid-he shouldn't be allowed out there with the little kids" etc.8O

My son is big for his age, was learning to skate, but NOT an aggressive skater, ever. Once the other parents learned this (over the course of the session) the comments and stares stopped. When a new kid signed up and the comments from that parent started (my kid was the biggest one in that group) the other parents piped up and said it would be ok.

Once you are known and become a familiar face at the rink it will settle down. I am the "rink Mom" and the kids can come up to me for help if they need it (tying skates, etc).

[garyc254]

I get "those" looks occasionally when I skate. Especially since I'm always trying to help beginners get their skating legs under them and since most of those beginners are kids.

After I got to know several of the skaters, coaches, and rink guards at the rink, I found I had others to talk with while skating. If I think someone is worried about my intentions, I make it a point to talk with those I know just to show that I'm okay and not "stalking" them or their kids.

Happened to me last Wednesday. A skating dad was on the ice with his son and daughter. The daughter was struggling, so I stopped next to her and her dad to offer basic advise on her arm position and bent knees. He was at first a little apprehensive with my being there. I explained to dad the logic behind having her do it my way while she learned. I also made a point to talk to some others I knew and dad seemed okay with me by the sessions end.

Don't worry about the looks. Just be friendly and enjoy your skating. People will warm up to you.

8-)

[dooobedooo]

Sk8guy71, skating isn't a private hobby. You just have to do it in public. The "looks" don't stop, and the comments get worse. 8O And that's not just for adult beginners, it applies to everybody. But what the hell - who wants to get skatermum-bum from sitting on the benches freezing for hours?!!! So hold your head up, smile, and remember that you are here to skate, and enjoying your skating.

Do be careful with the kids and young girls though - you can say good morning once they recognise you, but it's best to avoid physical contact, even helping them up. You don't want to get cast as a "groper". Once they know you, they may well stop for a chat.

And if you want to observe someone teaching, it's probably best to do it from the benches.

Enjoy your skating!

[sk8guy71]

Oh, it doesn't really bother me, it's just --- odd, I guess is the actual way to put it. I do keep to myself and simply just work on my laps around the rink, attempting to get more assured and more steady on my feet. I always try to be mindful of where other skaters are positioned and if I come upon an area that looks to be rush hour or high traffic, I step off the ice until a clearer path is available. In regards to observing lessons, that's only done during an "off ice" period for me where I do my self evaluations of how I've done up to that point or when I've stepped off the ice to avoid a cluster of skaters and it's more about watching someone who's clearly got much better form and taking note of how they're doing it (body placement in regards to an edge or turn, a specific stroking move) while also attempting to identify the particular move or edge they're performing. I also try to watch a lot of skating videos, paying especially close attention to footwork and body placement. I'm also watching to get a good idea of which private instructor might be a good fit for me when I get to the point where I feel I'm ready for my own private lessons. It's not like I'm right up on a lesson. I'm a good deal of distance away (often completely on the other side of the rink). I'm not worried about odd looks, I just go and practice and do my thing. It was just kinda weird and unexpected and I was wondering if anyone else had experienced it.

[kittie067]

As I said Im not a guy.

But maybe this will help you. I have been skating for 5 years now, and get the feeling that many think I dont belong there.

I'm Muslim and wear a scarf, and pants and a shirt when I skate, so no little skating dresses.

But suprisingly enough, after I get off the ice, many parents who have seen us time and time again, will tell my sister and I how well we're doing!!

I wouldnt worry about the stares, if you enjoy it than just go out there and have fun!!!

I dont know how much that helped, I guess im saying you're not the only one that gets "odd looks"!:)

[Alicia]

ITA! If I noticed someone listening in while I was teaching I'd move away & try to avoid that person. It's basically stealing.

Totally disagree. It's judging. I wouldn't buy a car without driving it first and I wouldn't get a coach without judging first!!

[Mrs Redboots]

Totally disagree. It's judging. I wouldn't buy a car without driving it first and I wouldn't get a coach without judging first!!However, eavesdropping on someone else's lesson is not the way to do it. You would be the first to complain if someone earwigged on your skater's lesson! If you don't already know the teacher from group lessons, then it is good form to sign up for a couple of trial lessons, to see whether your skater gets on with him or her, and whether they teach in a way that helps your skater learn.

And, of course, with kids, one of the big attractions of a coach is that "Jimmy takes from him/her", so friends' recommendations are a great idea too.

[Alicia]

However, eavesdropping on someone else's lesson is not the way to do it.

Eavesdropping on someone else's lesson is the best way to judge a coaches performance. Otherwise, they may just be putting on an act to land a contract. And at $90/hr, if you can't take abit of eavesdropping, perhaps you should lower your fee!!

BTW, I am a Master Mason and during our ceremonies we have an armed guard (just for tradition sake). Way back when, spys that would position themselves on the roof would be stabbed by the guards and would fall from the eaves. Hence, 'eavesdropping'!!

[EastonSkater]

oh yeah...... I forgot to mention. You've got every right to be there at the public session as everybody else. If you do your own thing for the fun and enjoyment of it, then that's absolutely fine. And if you're shakey right now on the skates.... I wouldn't worry about it either, because you're only going to improve. Usually most people are shakey when they begin skating anyway.

I agree with some other member here. The people are probably just keeping an eye on you to see if you're doing ok with your skating. It's important not to get a phobia thing about it. Just skate. When you get good at it, and you skate there over a long period, you'll become a regular there, and the regulars will also treat you to be a regular.

I must say though, that if you're not stroking correctly, or doing apparently the wrong kind of actions in your skating....then that could attract looks. As I've seen for myself some people have unusual type of body movements while stroking....since they haven't been taught how to stroke, and so they just do what they think is right....but looks strange and awkward to everybody. If your behaviour is very normal ... as in you're just doing your own thing, and not doing any really strange and odd movements, and not staring at others, then there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

[Mrs Redboots]

Eavesdropping on someone else's lesson is the best way to judge a coaches performance. Otherwise, they may just be putting on an act to land a contract. And at $90/hr, if you can't take abit of eavesdropping, perhaps you should lower your fee!!Skating teachers who are able to charge that amount of money are highly-trained professionals, and deserve the kind of professional courtesy that you would give your solicitor, your banker and other professionals with whom you have a business relationship.

As you would expect to be treated within your own profession. As I said, I don't suppose you would particularly like it if someone were to eavesdrop on your skater's lesson, and you can't have one rule for you and another for everybody else!

And as a potential skating coach wouldn't know the kind of learner your skater is, how would they be "putting on an act" if you booked two or three trial lessons, on the understanding that if they didn't "gel", there would be no hard feelings?

BTW, I am a Master Mason and during our ceremonies we have an armed guard (just for tradition sake). Way back when, spys that would position themselves on the roof would be stabbed by the guards and would fall from the eaves. Hence, 'eavesdropping'!!:) I have heard other etymologies, but that's quite feasible, too.

[doubletoe]

I wouldn't worry about it. Once you become a regular for a while, everybody will kind of know who you are, and then you'll just be part of the usual crowd there. It's normal.

Especially when they see you in an adult learn-to-skate class! No little girls there. :)

[beachbabe]

please try not to worry about odd looks. You know there are many girls looking for paired skating and dance partners. i am planning to start dance sometime soon, so I'm always checking out if any of the guys have skills. Maybe the looks you're getting are not that odd. Try to make friends and talk to people you know so people sort of get to know you as a regular.

[Chico]

Be kind and friendly to the skating parents and adult skaters. Take your time getting to know the kids. As an adult skater, I'm being honest here, I would watch you carefully too if I precieved you to be overly watchful and friendly to the kids. It is sorta a no, no to watch someones lesson. If you need help, we all do, get a coach or take a group lesson. Even ask another adult skater for a point or two if necessary. Being a male skater does have some harder quirks, good for you for trying.

Chico

[twokidsskatemom]

Eavesdropping on someone else's lesson is the best way to judge a coaches performance. Otherwise, they may just be putting on an act to land a contract. And at $90/hr, if you can't take abit of eavesdropping, perhaps you should lower your fee!!

BTW, I am a Master Mason and during our ceremonies we have an armed guard (just for tradition sake). Way back when, spys that would position themselves on the roof would be stabbed by the guards and would fall from the eaves. Hence, 'eavesdropping'!!

I as a parent, dont like anyone hanging close to my skater in a lesson. First its very distracting to her, and second its rude.As a parent, you can come watch all the coaches,but you dont need to be close to a skater IN a lesson to judge.
We have some skatedads here as well as skatemoms, everyone kinda helps out !!

[samba]

Hey, if I can fall off a barstool and slam my knee into a solid concrete floor with nary a problem, slamming my knee on ice should be a breeze. :lol: (for the record, I was sober at the time --- my foot had fallen to sleep and I didn't know it. went to swing around and step down and there was nothing there).[
I guess everyone else has answered your question but I just had to laugh at this, how embarrasing, I wish I could have seen it:lol: :lol: :lol:

Good luck and just keep at it, self consciousness is all part of the package when you first start as an adult, male or female.

[stardust skies]

I really don't get where anyone picked up that he was eavesdropping on lessons and staying close to skaters on the ice as he did this. He was very clear from the beginning that he was just sitting down on the bleachers during "breaks" and watching out onto the arena, and looking at lessons from there. It's not like he can hear anything- and he's as far away as any of the skating parents and not disturbing anyone. When I'm bored between sessions I do the same thing, and I really don't need any extra private instruction so I'm not "stealing" anything. I'm just watching to keep entertained.

It's also how I've picked coaches whenever I've needed to switch. I sit there, and I watch what kind of skaters they teach, and what their coaching style is. No one's "put off" or bothered by it, it's totally normal, and all the skaters old enough to pick their own coaches do it when they are switching. How else are you supposed to pick a coach? You can't possibly sign up for try outs with all of them.

[VegasGirl]

It's also how I've picked coaches whenever I've needed to switch. I sit there, and I watch what kind of skaters they teach, and what their coaching style is. No one's "put off" or bothered by it, it's totally normal, and all the skaters old enough to pick their own coaches do it when they are switching. How else are you supposed to pick a coach? You can't possibly sign up for try outs with all of them.

Good point... I was trying to figure out how to pick a new coach now hat I've found a rink. I think I will do just that, sit and observe, thanks for the tipp!!!

[Isk8NYC]

I really don't get where anyone picked up that he was eavesdropping on lessons and staying close to skaters on the ice as he did this. He was very clear from the beginning that he was just sitting down on the bleachers during "breaks" ...

His initial post DOESN'T say that he was off-ice, in fact one of his posts says he was across the rink. If you read the thread in order, that information isn't given until after people expressed concern for his "eavesdropping." (In fairness, his initial post doesn't say he was listening in, just watching.)

I've coached with people that are VERY private about their teaching. They don't want other instructors stealing their methods. I've asked a few why they did this or that and gotten vague or misleading answers.

I do agree that watching a lesson without announcing yourself is by far the best way to get a clear picture of whether or not you'll like a coach for yourself.

As for the original question, they probably don't know what to make of you, but the parents are going to keep an eye on you until they've decided you can be trusted. After being there a while and chit-chatting with the parents (also a great way to find out about various coaches, BTW) they'll warm up to you.

[Isk8NYC]

I'm Muslim and wear a scarf, and pants and a shirt when I skate, so no little skating dresses.

How you dress at a rink can definitely be attention-getting. I love the little first-timers with the little skating dresses. They don't last more than fifteen minutes - one fall, a cold tush, and they're off for hot chocolate! LOL

You're not alone in wearing "different" clothes for skating. There are a number of Hasidic families that skate at our rink. The girls wear long skirts and dark-colored jackets/coats. Some of the kids (not mine - they're used to it by now) check them out.

BTW: In a post not too-long ago, someone asked about wearing your type of clothing. Maybe they meant a burka; but I thought of you.

[Isk8NYC]

Eavesdropping on someone else's lesson is the best way to judge a coaches performance. Otherwise, they may just be putting on an act to land a contract. And at $90/hr, if you can't take abit of eavesdropping, perhaps you should lower your fee!! BTW, I am a Master Mason and ...

I don't disagree that watching/listening to how a coach interacts is a good way to get an honest view of their skills. Continuous eavesdropping goes a bit beyond that, especially when you listen in to learn more about skating than the coach/student.

A few trial lessons is a wonderful recommendation. Just because a coach interacts well with other students, doesn't mean that they're a good fit for your skater.

Hmmm, I thought Masons were only men?
Guess this is MR. Alicia taking a turn at the keyboard again?

[dooobedooo]

A point for up-and-coming coaches to note:

When you are a beginner skater, everything is daunting. You are very grateful for any sort of encouragement, even just a friendly smile, or God forbid - a "free" helpful hint! You are very unlikely to take lessons from a coach if they have "given you the hump", or snarled at you.

Beginner skaters may sometimes be unpromising adults, but very often they have relatives who are children who may want to learn to skate. They are very unlikely to put those children with a coach who has "given them the hump" or snarled at them.

There is at least one competent coach I know of, who I would never recommend to anyone, because of her unappealing "attitude". And there is at least one coach I know of, who does extremely well, simply because he is genuinely welcoming and helpful to new faces at the rink.

Skating technique isn't a great secret - people can usually get free help from other skaters if they ask. The most important factor in a coaching relationship is trust.

Think about it!

[Chico]

Watching is cool in my opinion. I watch skaters as I put my boots on.
Sometimes you see something that clicks and helps you. We all need that special something sometimes. Following a coach and skater closely isn't. I've had this happen on an occasion and it's annoying. I agree on picking a coach by observing and listening. It's amazing what you can learn this way. However, you never know until their your coach what you feel. Relationships aren't built over night and a good coach/ student takes time to build. Sometimes the overly friendly coaches are ones to stay away from and ditto with the emotional ones. This is just my personal opinion.

Chico

[Bothcoasts]

It's really bad when I'm there and it's primarily the little skater girls.

My only two cents is that you may need to go slightly out of your way to ensure that the parents don't view you as a stalker. When I was in my late teens, I was in a show class that consisted of myself, two female pre-teens, a female adult and a male adult. The guy, while never actually doing anything inappropriate, often made inappropriate remarks geared towards no one in particular but way out of line for two pre-teens to hear. Both pre-teens were uncomfortable around him whenever we were on the ice together.

While it would be excessive perhaps to assume that you could be friends with the young female skaters, you do want an environment that's friendly. Avoid any comments, looks or touches that could be misconstrued, and you'll hopefully be okay.

[stardust skies]

Sometimes my training partners and I will watch each other during a lesson and one of us is trying to nail a new jump. We all have the same coach. If I'm having a lesson and one of my training partners skates on by and stops to check out what I'm doing when I'm with my coach- it's cool. I do the same with them. We really support each other and clap for each other when we finally land something. Nothing my coach is telling me is a secret from any of them, and I have no problem with them listening to my lesson.

But if someone I didn't know and didn't share coaches with did this, my coach would tell the person to take a hike! Why aren't the coaches shooing the nosy people away in the cases some of you have reported? I'd be really put off by a coach who let that sort of butting in happen if it wasn't welcomed.

PS: On a different note I agree with Chico. Every time I've tried working with a coach because they were particularly friendly towards me, it turned into a disaster. My current coaches barely said hello to me before I hired them- it still worked out great. I find that the friendly ones are usually "fans" of your skating if they've seen you around the rink, and they're so eager to work with you that once they do, they have nothing but praises for you and nothing gets corrected. I'd rather work with someone who doesn't even notice my existence until I point it out to them, then there's no bias. My coaches are the very definition of unfriendly. But who cares? I didn't pick them out for their winning smiles. Plus, I have enough friends already.

And damn you people for making interesting threads. I can't take a break and just be a lurker for a while if you keep coming up with interesting things to talk about!!! :lol:

[sk8guy71]

Oh, I'm definitely not hovering around evesdropping on every private lesson. I'm watching from off-ice and it's only a few minutes here and there in between laps around the rink or whatever, but I find that (at least for me) watching someone do a particular move (especially when they're obviously much stronger skillwise than I am) gives me a very good idea of what I *should* be doing. Also, I really do keep to myself. That's just basically me, anyway. Also, odd looks don't really bother me because I know why I'm there and what I hope to accomplish. It was just a little strange because I'd never experienced it before and was curious as to whether anyone else had experienced it. Heck, I'm kind of in awe of the little 9 year olds doing spins and jumps and stuff while I'm damn proud that I've managed to make it a few laps around the rink upright without flailing myself all across the ice. :lol:

[EastonSkater]

Another thing is ... if you don't know them, and they don't know you.....then it doesn't really matter what they think anyhow. Since nobody knows each other. Just as long as we, ourselves, know we're good people, then that's completely fine. And if anybody does have the nerve to ask you why you're looking at them....as in approaching you and rudely asking, then you can just tell them that you're a beginner skater and you're trying to just learn by example. And if they give you all sorts of nonsense....then just tell them to go to hell.

[DressageChica]

In reply to ...
"but some people just seem snotty, like they own the ice. I know we need lessons, but there is a big sign with rules on the wall, and nothing that says you have to be an olympic skater. We stay close to the wall, and even though the rules state that stationary skaters stay toward the middle of the ice, a few just do their little routines right against the wall. "

Since I'm not there, I don't really know the situation...but, sometimes skaters aren't being "snotty" they are just powerful skaters that need to be all over the ice. I'm sure it's really difficult to set up for double/triple jumps and jump combinations without taking up half of the rink. Plus, if the session is crowded the higher skaters have to be aggressive so that they can get in a few jump attempts. If you just half skate someone else will jump and you'll have to just skate around. But then again, I would hope that your rink wouldn't allow high freestylers on your session. However, oftentimes adult sessions are all levels so sometimes new skaters have to deal with this. Also, some ice dance patterns move all over the ice, even right up next to the boards (especially at my rink because it's not regulation sized). The person might not be meaning to come that close to you, but in order to continue with their dance pattern they may have to! Again, some rinks have separate ice dance practices from freestyle, but mine does not. This is just one possible explination.

And then there is the very cause that the kids could be snotty/unexperienced/just flat out don't understand/careless! And if that is the case we all feel for you...it's typical! I love when I set up for a flip and the little kid skates toward me with that deer in the headlight look.

Just thought I would add in my two cents!

[wcbrinkerhoff]

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I have had parents give me weird looks, espacially when the rink is slow. Watching little kids practice reminds of me of myself when I was their age. I understand though, I would think it's a bit weird if a 24 y/o guy was watching my kid skate around the rink...

[crayonskater]

It's probably just because you're a) new; b) a beginner; c) male; d) an adult; and e) not obviously attached to a small child offspring. Just a curiosity. With time that should ease as the parents hopefully realize that you're unlikely to molest their child on the ice while wearing skates and clinging to the boards. :)

Watching coaches from the stands is fine; sneaking around the lesson less so. Alicia mentioned doctors & other professionals, but doctors don't let people observe them while examining a patient ('At $100 an exam, I should observe someone else's Pap smear first!'), lawyers don't let potential clients in on sessions on previous clients ('At $400 an hour, I demand to know all the evidence against your client.'), engineers don't reveal their client's proprietary information to prospective clients ('At $15K for this preliminary project, I demand to see the system passwords for your earlier clients!')

I'd find a coach like I'd find a doctor: word of mouth from people I trust, plus a trial. If you set it up as a trial explicitly ('I'm new, and looking for a coach, and I thought I'd try a couple of lessons to see if we gel'), no one can get offended.

I expect it might be more useful that way, anyway. My coach teaches all levels, but the girls he teaches at my rink are all reasonably high level (all doubles), and I'm a beginner. Watching him correct a bad layback or lutz didn't tell me a whole lot about how he would teach basic consecutive edges.

[EastonSkater]

If you're teaching at a public rink during public sessions, then everybody has a right to watch you teaching from a distance. A doctor and lawyer has their own office or place to teach in private. If a skating teacher wants to teach the student without people watching, then it's their own responsibility to rent out the rink for private lessons. But if they come to a public rink and teach during a public session......that's tough luck.

Also, at a public session, everybody is welcome. Even regulars were once new to the rink. And new faces have every right to be there along with regulars. And regulars do not own the rink, or do they have any right to gang up on new faces. Skating mums etc have no right to make new people feel unwelcome.

[EastonSkater]

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. I have had parents give me weird looks, espacially when the rink is slow. Watching little kids practice reminds of me of myself when I was their age. I understand though, I would think it's a bit weird if a 24 y/o guy was watching my kid skate around the rink...

If your little kid was a brilliant skater, then people are going to look in awe....because some newbies are probably wishing they could do those 'tricks' too. Or if your little kid is a complete newbie and stumbling around, then people might watch too, just to see how the little kid is progressing. It's the same if a older age newbie comes to the rink. People often watch to see how they're progressing. But if regulars simply frown at newbies and make them feel unwelcome by staring and making no face expressions at all, then that kind of thing is unusual.....and those regulars probably need an education in manners and diplomacy.

[beachbabe]

actually, today at my lesson some annoying girl kept following me and my coach around and copying what i was doing, and let's jsut say it was unbearably annoying. Not only is it unnaceptable to eavesdrop on a lesson from such a close distance, copying me is jsut going wayyy too far.

Eventually i ended up wasting 10 mins of my class just waiting for her to get the hell away from me...and this is time that i was paying for.
Eventually we had the skate guard block off the middle with cones and he had to remind to girl to stay away form the circle like 10 times.

Yea, if you wanna watch a lesson from afar...your welcome to, but don't get too close and disturb.

just wanted to share that, because this is my first time having to deal with eavesdrooping b/c i had to ahve my leeson at a public.

[stardust skies]

Beachbabe- is there any reason your coach didn't tell the girl to take a hike? It's unacceptable for a coach to accept such disruptions.

[crayonskater]

If you're teaching at a public rink during public sessions, then everybody has a right to watch you teaching from a distance. A doctor and lawyer has their own office or place to teach in private.

Which of course, is why I indicated in my post that watching from a distance was acceptable.