Cinquanta - School of Corruption

[Aussie Willy]

Well after reading the Good Bad and Ugly thread about the ISU Congress, maybe it is time we had a Speedy School of Corruption thread (in honor of the late Mikey School of Humility thread).

First class is:

Judging Systems 101 - how to try and cover your corruption with a new judging system that is so full of holes but in hope that the IOC might be convinced that you have actually done something!

[Emilieanne]

:lol: Aussie Willy, you are too funny :!: This ought to produce a few laughs in view of we have been feeling :frus:

OK, do you have any good faculty members in mind :?:

What other courses are there :wink: :wink:

What other things are needed in order to graduate :mrgreen:

[olivia]

Persuasion and Negotiation 201: Mid-level required 2-semester course for those federation heads seeking to better "support" their skaters. The second semester will focus on creative writing and double-speak.

O-

[Scott]

Oh, you people are sooo evil!!! :twisted:

[somechick]

Advanced Confusionism--this is a graduate level course designed to create scoring systems that are so complicated and involved, no one could possibly understand how to use it, let alone decipher where the cheating is taking place

[Dragonlady]

"Applying Teflon and Making it Stick" - a advanced course in making sure that when the brown stuff hits the fan, and suspensions are being handed out, none of it will stick to you. Course instructor - Valentin Piseev, an acknowledged master in this technique.

[FallingLeaves]

[color=blue:32aa0cc251]Question Avoiding 101- learn the art of saying a mouthful without ever answering the question. Includes in-depth study of Speedy's Olympic press conferences. Final exam consists of 20+ page essay on the key points of the class- remember, the lengthier the better, but be sure to NEVER really answer the question! :twisted: [/color:32aa0cc251]

[TRAxel]

Pretending to give a *censored* 301 - this is an advanced level course for those who don't care about who gets what marks, or who hurts who. There is no introductory level with this course, too many of them already know who to do it, they just need to keep up their skills.

[i:ec2b190624]Trying to sneak past the bad word filter is not cool. Good post otherwise. -Kestral[/i:ec2b190624]

[Emilieanne]

Hey, these certainly are good course descriptions. :!: :wink: Only one mentioned an instructor. Any others? :halo:

Also, which ones are required and which ones are electives :?

Are there any labs or practicals :?: :wink:

What are the requirements for graduation :mrgreen:

[Gaela]

PR 210

Learn how to evade questions and frustrate the press. When to say "No comment" or "I'm not qualified to answer that"

Special guest seminars with Speedy himself, featuring demonstrations of some of the PR moves he has performed with flair and panache, such as my very own favorite"

"I really don't know much about figure skating"

[Aussie Willy]

Hey guys - you are a very creative bunch.

Well you could have:

Riverdance 201 - how to make it look like you are foot tapping to music but helping other judges make their decisions.

Fur coats 2002 - Mdme Le Gooney will present a special seminar on the wearing of fur coats by judges - will cover the care and presentation of fur coats. All participants are asked to bring a fur coat. Judges without a fur coat need not apply. An hour of this discussion will also cover being weak and easily subjected to pressure.

Persuasion 302 - Yuri Balkov will present a special discussion on how to persuade and influence people to get them to think how you want them to think. Financial incentives are given to take this class.

Money 202 - Boris Chait presents a special seminar on using money to get results.

[Emilieanne]

:lol: :lol: Aussie Willy and the rest of you guys. You are a hoot :!: :lol: This thread has helped us get some relief from all the anger :twisted: and frustration :frus: which we all badly needed.

I still want to know if there are any labs/practicals and what is required to graduate :mrgreen:

[olivia]

Emilieanne: Persuasion and Negotiation 201 will be taught by none other than the renowned Professor Didier Gaillauget. While there will be no required labs [u:049038a7de]per[/u:049038a7de] [u:049038a7de]se[/u:049038a7de], students are given a challenging final exam consisting of convincing Professor Didier that he is honest and principled. Students who have successfully completed this course in the past have marveled at "how easy it was" to convince Professor Didier that he was a wonderful guy. One student commented, ". . . either that, or the Professor is a very good actor!."

O-

[bleu]

"Giving PMS a bad rap" - courtesy of Marie Le Gougne's ever changing story, hysterical behaviour, pointing fingers at others and "you haven't seen the last of me". Now we all know PMS is a serious medical condition. There is nothing funny about it. But when a judge start behaving like the way Mdme Le Gougne did, it gives women(PMS or no PMS) a bad rap. Next thing we shall hear is that 'women can't judge because they are easily influenced by their bosses and can't keep to one story'

[Emilieanne]

Thanks, Olivia.

That Negotiations final is going to be something. :wink: :wink: Oh, by the way, do you know who will be teaching the Introduction to Behind-the-Scenes Manipulations course and is that required for graduation? :halo:

There sure is going to be a lot of work involved here :wink: :wink: :wink: