Private coach

[cazzie]

My 7 year old is at the point where I think he could do with a bit more than group classes. He is landing singles up to lutz, learning various turns and things. Enjoys his group classes but many of the other kids have regular private lessons and it shows with small details like extending free legs nicely.

I approached his first choice who was lovely but told me quite openly that she was full and suggested a few names of other coaches. We approached somebody else (a bloke) who said he would be happy to take him on.

Three weeks ago he had two half hour lessons and his improvement looked remarkable. The coach suggested he was ready to get a program to do beginner level competitions and we found music etc. and this coach chose something However since then I keep getting promises of lessons which don't materialise.

It feels quite awkward right now. Do I go and ask if he still intends to coach my son or not? Do I wait a few more weeks to see if the pattern continues? Do I give up and just approach somebody else?

My son loved the two lessons he had with this guy who (although young) looks like he could be a very good coach. I guess what I would appreciate is knowing where we stand.

[icestalker]

You have to walk up to the guy and suggest a time for the next lesson. Coaches are far too busy to catch up to parents and ask when they want the next lesson, so it is really up to the parent to call them or catch them at the rink and suggest a lesson time (be prepared with a second choice lesson time.) If the child is old enough (which your kid isn't) they can schedule the lesson with the coach at the end of their current lesson, which is what I do.

Since you haven't said anything to him, he is probably wondering if you still intend to have him coach your son. Or he is wondering when you are available to bring your son for lessons, but he's too busy to catch up to you.

[Virtualsk8r]

Have you received an invoice for the two half hour lessons yet? Or did you pay each time. If you haven't paid for the lessons yet, then perhaps the coach is stonewalling until you do pay. Some coaches refuse to work with students who do not pay immediately, while others (like myself) don't want to penalize the skater because of a tardy parent.

If the invoices have been paid - has this coach been away at competitions with other skaters or away from the rink for other reasons? Sometimes new students get the short end of the stick when coaches are preparing more senior students for competitions or tests. At the very least, this coach should have explained this to you.

I would email the coach (since most of us now have email) and say how much your son enjoyed his two lessons, and when he can expect a regular lesson slot. Be positive. Perhaps the coach no longer has lessons and didn't know how to contact you. Or - is total jerk.......(they do exist). An email is a great way to carefully word your inquiry and an emotionless venue for both of you to avoid overreacting.

Good luck. BTW 7 is not too young for an interested skater to take private lessons, as long as they are willing to practice what they learned on their own..otherwise a long lesson is simply babysitting and tutored practce.

[cazzie]

The lessons my son had were paid for in advance. Text messaging is this coaches preferred way of communicating and when I texted he told me there would be a lesson the following week (twice) and he would let me know - but-that hasn't happened.

I guess thats why I'm wondering whether I approach a bit more assertively to ask if he is too busy etc.

My sons practising on his own is not too bad - he and his sister make a list (MIF, edges, spins, jumps) - and he does each thing 5 times. He does tend to do too many jumps not enough other stuff but I think with time practicing will get more focussed.

[sk8rdad59]

Does this coach teach other skaters at the rink your son is at? If so you might want to talk to the parents of those skaters to get a feel for how the coach operates. Some coaches need to be nailed to to a specific time and date for lessons especially if they teach at several clubs.

If he is at the rink when you're there talk to him directly to make arrangements and if he continues to stonewall then move on to another coach. You're hiring this person to perform a service and the working relationship has to be one everyone is comfortable with.

[RachelSk8er]

Did you discuss a regular lesson time? I have my lesson at the same time every week unless we need to move it to a different day/time due to conflicts in my/my coach's schedule. We discussed a regular time after my first lesson with him almost 4 years ago--we've pretty much kept it to the same time slot (7am) but shifted the exact day around from one year to the next based on both our schedules. That's the way I've always done it with every coach I've worked with, seems the normal way of doing things around here.

[cazzie]

Have canvassed a couple of parents and turns out I'm not the only one! Whew - was beginning to think it was a personal rebuff of my son!

We was promised a lesson this Wednesday (and I made the point to the coach that we really wanted a regular - either one to one or two to one the same time every week and I suggested either a Wednesday or Thursday) - well - promised lesson slip tonight- son qutie excited until I got a text saying no lesson availability. Realised he hasn't had a lesson with this coach for well over a month now!

One of the parents I spoke to mentioned how every time he sees her son, tells the boy, I will be phoning your parents tonight to arrange a lesson this week - and - it doesn't happen. (This lady is strongly thinking about telling him to stop upsetting her son by saying this when he doesn't mean it).

He does seem to have a few regular older girls (some from another club) and some adult skaters but no younger boys. Maybe I read too much into this!

The only problem we sit with - my son adores him and on the ice he is a really good coach and his coaching style really, really suits my son. He worships this coach and is inspired for weeks after a lesson.

However - at present giving up and will be approaching somebody else! Pity we wasted the whole summer holidays with NO private lessons before I gave up. Am trying the tentative conversations with my son that this coach is too busy and he just begs me to please keep trying. Every time he sees this coach enter the rink he rushes up to him and gives a huge hello with a big smile. I wish we had just been told in the first place that he wasn't interested. (We were promised cuts of music, a program and all sorts!)

[kayskate]

Unless this coach is a very famous coach and has a full dance ticket or works a FT job and only coaches on the side when he has time, I cannot understand why a skating coach would blow off students. Most of the coaches I know are interested in building their following and getting as many students/lessons as possible. If your son is really interested in skating and you are ready to commit to private lessons, get someone who is also willing to commit to you. You may even approach this coach and tell him this is your situation and you want a regular lesson time. If he tries to put you off, ask him to suggest someone who can make a commitment. Be nice about it, but let him know you and your child are serious and want to have regular lessons and set goals for his skating.

Kay

[fsk8r]

The only problem we sit with - my son adores him and on the ice he is a really good coach and his coaching style really, really suits my son. He worships this coach and is inspired for weeks after a lesson.

However - at present giving up and will be approaching somebody else! Pity we wasted the whole summer holidays with NO private lessons before I gave up. Am trying the tentative conversations with my son that this coach is too busy and he just begs me to please keep trying. Every time he sees this coach enter the rink he rushes up to him and gives a huge hello with a big smile. I wish we had just been told in the first place that he wasn't interested. (We were promised cuts of music, a program and all sorts!)

Your son will probably adore his next coach as well. If it was me I would be looking for another coach.

I understand how some coaches are a bit flaky with lesson times, but most of those coaches do say you've got a lesson on this session, and it's the timing of the lesson which varies. The lesson doesn't just not happen. Personally I can't cope with that as I generally skate before work and have a fixed time I've got to leave by, so my coach who can be a little "flexible" in her schedule knows that I'm a permanent fixture on it and she doesn't ever move me. Her flexibility is mainly because she team coaches with another coach and so they have skaters switching between them. I don't take from the other coach.

But to look on the positive side, you'll be starting a new coach with a new school year and it's always easier to make a schedule when you're in a routine, and you've saved all that money on lessons over the summer. And you've had the chance to establish that your son is ready for private lessons and can cope with the level of individual attention.

[sk8rdad59]

I would recommend that you move simply move on to a coach who is willing to make a commitment to training your son. No decent coach no matter how famous treats students in this manner. While a top level coach is often busy they will either make other arrangements for their students when they cannot make it or at least give reasonable notice that they cannot make it.

I highly recommend that you talk to the other parents at the rink about their coaches to find out which the students and parents are happy with. I dont know where your located but here in Canada coaches certified with level 1 being entry level certification up to level 4. You should consider this based on your expectations of where you want you son to be in 3-5 years. While there is nothing wrong with an entry level coach you may run the risk of out growing the coach at some point, this isn't a given but I have seen it often enough in the past 12 years.

[cazzie]

Thanks for the advice. This coach is young - been level 2 just about 1 year.
Think the 6 chances I gave were maybe too much.

We were let down yet again since I last posted (I was contacted and told there would be a lesson slip at reception for the next day - there wasn't one and when I texted he was full!)

I've since spoken to my daughter's coach and has is happy to set up regular lessons for my son. My daughter isn't entirely happy about this - but - tough!
After I explained this to daughter's coach she had a word with my daughter explaining that she'd like her just as much even if coaching her little brother.

My son has quite an eccentric and outgoing personality and other skaters, parents and coaches are drawn to this, so sometimes she feels she is less liked - even though she is way more advanced than he is and a much more graceful skater. She is very artistic and expressive on the ice but off the ice is slightly expressionless, doesn't make eye contact or small talk etc.....

At least I know this coach, know she's reliable, contactable, communicates well and a decent person! It also means we can sometimes book her for the hour, have half an hour for my son and then half an hour for his sister etc. with both of them practicing. With my daughter she'll give her lists to practice between lessons - something which will work well for my son.

My son had her at a skating camp and got on fine with her - even if she isn't the male hero he very much wanted I know he'll be fine.

[Skittl1321]

Do make sure that the other coach is fully aware that you will no longer be requiring his services.

I would hate for your daughter's coach to get pulled into (artificial) drama if it looks like she begain lessons with another coach's student.

[Isk8NYC]

Skittl's right: just send a message to the other coach saying that your son will be taking lessons with so-and-so, but thanks anyway for trying and have good season. Don't ask any questions or give too m uch information, and certainly don't confront him at all, even with a scheduling remark. It's not going to change anything and might cause some animosity.

If you're asked for a reason, say it's easier FOR YOU to have both children with the same coach. Don't waste your time on details - he probably knows that he messed up.

When someone just starts out coaching, they need time to develop the organizational skills to stay on top of things, so don't burn any bridges - you might want to give this coach a second chance sometime down the road. (I'm not excusing it, I'm just making an observation based on my own experiences with skaters changing their lifestyle to coaching.)

For right now, you've made a good decision. Congrats.

[momof3chicks]

However since then I keep getting promises of lessons which don't materialise.

.

This happened to us with a dance coach and my middle dd. He was great with her and she loved him but he was totally unreliable.