Frustrated Parent of a 3 year old. (help)

[wolfyj]

I am 21 years old I started skating when I was 3 by 3.5 I was skating on my own without help. 4 years old I was the leading goal scorer on my hockey
team. When I got older I played competitive hockey and played for 16 years.

Now here ismy problem. I am trying to teach my son how to skate he ijust turned 3 years old he is interested in skating and likes the idea of hockey but when we are at the ice he gets discouraged easily. since I have been skating for many years on my own and clearly forget the beginner drills I have a feeling I am jump starting him too fast and would like to know what I can do to help him from getting discouraged.

I was a really good hockey player and always did my best so I do get frusterated easily when my son just sits down on the ice and tells me its too hard I dont know how to get past that and when he starts crying and saying its too hard I dont know what to do how to tell him its not to hard I show him that I can do it and he really idolizes me and everything he says "just like daddy"

I would just like some tips on what I should be doing for the beginner drills this is waht he can do so far.

- Walk around off ice with skates on
-Has great balance on the ice standing when hes not holding the stick
- glides with one foot , refuses to glide with the other "its too hard " he says
- Grab the puck with the stick and hits the puck into the net but he cannot turn to get it

I know i may have gotten ahead of myself with teaching him and will except the advice of what not to do that I am already doing I am just turning to this forum as I really dont know what to do and honestly I dont think at this point I am doing everything right and I dont want to just give up on the poor guy.

If you have any advice or ideas what I should or should not do please reply!!

Thanks

[Skittl1321]

Hi there! I regularly teach toddlers age 2-5 years old, though just general skating, not hockey skating.

One thing you really need to remember is that muscle development is different for all children. Just because you could do it at 3, doesn't mean your child will be able to. And also remember- most hockey players don't start so young. Even if he doesn't have the skills now, he may be phenomenal as an adolescent or a teen.

Most 3 year olds don't do much on the ice. The majority are able to stand on their own, some can march on their own or do dips on their own. A one foot glide would be pretty incredible from the majority of 3 year olds.

I have seen 4 year olds who can do jumps and spins (I'm not real into hockey) so I'd equate that with being able to play hockey. However, they have a real hard time knowing which edge is which, and which direction is which. Everything needs to be placed into the context of a routine or a game to make it repeatable.

If your child says gliding on the other foot is "too hard" make games at home to help gain strength in that side. If he has any sort of scooter toy, make sure he uses both feet. Lead up stairs using the wrong side, etc. It's usually muscle imbalance (and scooters) that lead to sidedness among young kids. (It's even worse with adults, myself included, who have to untrain years and years of it.)

Rereading your list, it does seem a lot to ask. I haven't seen many kids that young with sticks. Do you play hockey around the house/backyard? That might make him more comfortable holding it, which will help you introduce it better on ice. Being able to turn to reach the puck is pretty advanced- just skating around with him, WITHOUT the stick, to get him more comfortable is probably what is needed. To help him not get discouraged- let him take the lead. At this age, it should be fun, not skill building. In a few years, focus on skills, now let him show you what he's a natural talent with.

Another thing to think about- don't turn into the "skating parent". It happens with hockey and with figure. What do the coaches think? Is he doing the same thing other kids his age do? Sometimes it's best for parents to remove themselves from the role of teacher and just become the kids biggest fan. Let someone else worry about developing the skills.

[Tennisany1]

I would put him in a three year old skating class. You can sit in the stands and cheer him on. When he gets off, have a hot chocolate ready for him, help him with his skates, and tell him what a great job he did.

I know you mean well, but often when something comes really naturally to someone it can be very difficult to teach that skill without proper training instruction. He also could just be too young. At 3 years old your son may not be ready. You could give it a rest for 6 months and try again.

[slusher]

Make it fun. The attention span of a three year old is about five minutes (if that) so if you want to skate for a half an hour, think of at least six different activities to do. I'd work on skating without the puck for a while, and do silly things like sliding, rolling around and making snow angels. Do lots of forward falling and getting up while moving. You've got to do it too. Don't skate higher than the level of your kid. Show walking steps, slow even pushes, and snowplow stops. Praise constantly and for my sake, don't ever threaten the kid if they don't do what you want. "no ice cream if you don't hit this puck". I threw a dad out of the rink last year for that sort of sh*t.

My kids all skated when they could walk, and played house league at 4. The majority of three year olds do not have the level of skill that you had, but it is possible your son might, there's lots of little tiny phenoms out there. For every 15 kids on a team at age 4, two probably have the breakaway skating skills that you're looking for.

[falen]

"- glides with one foot , refuses to glide with the other "its too hard " he says"

I've noticed most of the kids who have been skating just a year or so have that skate board stoke (stroking with just one foot). DD lost that in the summer and started evenly stroking with both, so that is about 6-7 months of skating. In my unexpert opinion, I think it is part of the learning process. He really seems to be doing well. BTW, the little ones do learn better from their peers, so if he has a skating buddy, it really helps. A friend of mine has a son into hockey. He is a hockey player as well and found it impossible to teach his son. His was just too close. Enrolled him in LTS and he progressed so fast.

[ukmum]

PLAY!!!!!! fall over, slide, jump, not sure of the american equivs but do what you would do in the living room. Let him get comfortable, have fun and learn not to be scared. That way he will not be scared, develop strength and speed. Think of it like kinder/preschool - they don't give you letters right away they give you playdough and chalk.

Have fun

[sk8rdad59]

All good advice here. Keep it all in mind and don't assume because you learned quickly everyone, your son included, should be just as quick. Also lessons are invaluable, I dont know where your located but in Canada the CanSkate program is highly recommended even by the hockey leagues as the best first step. It's far easier to learn the basics without trying to co-ordinate a stick and puck.

[phoenix]

I'd agree w/ putting him into a tots skating class. It will be a lot more fun for him, and you'll learn a lot as you watch the class. We also offer "tot & me" classes--where the parent comes onto the ice too, which you may enjoy.

There are tons of tricks to teaching little ones, but it all boils down to making EVERYTHING a game, fun, and NOT work or scary. We do obstacle courses, throw beanie babies, draw things on the ice, etc.

Also, I see a lot of 3 year olds who just don't want to skate. Then they come back a year later & are happy to be there & ready to learn. 3 is very, very young to start & in the long run it won't matter if he starts at 3 or 4 or even 5. But it CAN ruin him for life if he's pushed into it before he's ready, so be cautious at this point.

[sk8tmum]

check his skates if he has a problem with one foot. Factory mounted blades can be mounted crooked.

Just a thought.

Other than that, let him play on the ice ... and let him watch hockey on the TV, he'll want to practice so that he can play like the big kids (or take him to a local game to see it live) - if you can engage him and make him want to do it, it'll work better. At 3, well ... they need to be interested at a basic level, more sophisticated concepts may be too much.

[herniated]

I too agree with the tot classes. And also if your son is crying..that's enough for him. I am a skater (figure skater) and my child had like zero ability at that age- 3-.

I didn't start skating till around 7 and when I did I just 'took off' so to speak. My son didn't! At 7 his ability wasn't much better, lol. Now he is 10 and loves it. He is still a beginner but loves the movement. Will he be a 'Great' skater? I don't know..but all that is important to me is that he enjoys it right now. Our kids are definitely individuals and have different likes and dislikes from us. Know what I mean??

But try a class for him and see if he enjoys it? I also agree with having someone else teach your child. Sometimes our own expectations get in the way of thier enjoyment. My kid loves my coach and had his first lesson and is in love with the whole thing. I'm not criticizing here just sharing my experiences. ;)

[wolfyj]

Thanks so much everyone this was great advice I wasnt sure what to do and now I see I may being too hard on my son as in skills. I have no realized he has good skills already but was maybe pushed into it to fast I think i am going to take the advice and just have fun on the ice as I really want him to like the idea of skating. not thinking its a chore!

Thanks so much he is really wobbly on one foot so the balance suggestion is amazing as I have noticed he has favored one foot more then theother so we are now onto tasks to change his feet up!

Thanks again

Any other advice feel free to leave it I will read it and take it all in !!!

[phoenix]

Here's some generic info for parents:

http://www.usfigureskating.org/Programs.asp?id=306

Also if you go here:

http://www.usfigureskating.org/Programs.asp?id=119

And on the right, download the pdf that's called "Basic Skills Program Overview", you'll see the skills that are taught at each level & the order of progression. That may help you understand how one skill builds on another, and how to break things down into manageable skills for little ones.

[kayskate]

I have taught tot classes. IMO, some kids at 3 do not have the muscular development to really start skating that young. Others do. It depends on the individual. Try a tot class. if your son does not want to be away from you (cries as soon as you put him on the ice w the teacher), the "tot and me" class may be better. I have taught those too. Problem w parent/tot class is that some children cling to the parent and don't participate in the class. I would suggest the tot class first. Watch your child from off-ice. Let him see you cheering him on. This is very encouraging for children. Some kids have had enough after 10-15 min and want to get off the ice. I take those kids to the door and tell the parent the kid needs a break. if he wants to come back out, fine. If not, let him stop when he is ready. Some kids cannot handle more than that. Be flexible and listen to your son's needs.

I am not a hockey coach, but I have some general suggestions. Start your son on recreational fig skates. The heel and toe pick of the blade will help him stay upright since he cannot as easily fall forward or back. A major source of frustration for small children is their hockey skates. They do not have the skating skills or balance to use them yet. We generally keep kids in fig skates and basic skating classes until they pass Basic 2. Then they can switch to hockey classes once they have learned fundamentals of skating.

Since you are a hockey player, you can provide valuable instruction and support for your son. Do you still play? You might also play hockey in sneakers in your living room or driveway. You can teach your son some stick handling. You and your son may also enjoy rollerblade hockey off-season. Your son may benefit from skating on rollerblades when he cannot get to a rink. IMO, kids who have some roller exp do well when they are on ice. They already understand balance and basic movement. You can do this w your son for a short period of time in your driveway w/o the investment of going to an ice rink.

In any case, it's great that you are so interested in your son's development. Enjoy the skating time together.

Kay

[wolfyj]

Hello,

Thank you so much again for all the great replies I should add in detail what my son is capable doing on the ice.

He can hold his balance on the ice noproblem and if he holds his arms out he can move himself with the one foot

He can march on the ice with both feet although not very willing to do it but helikes the idea as he goes faster

He can turn without falling just in general on the rink although its very slow he does well



I have decided today I am going to take him to the arena and just play games such as falling down and getting back up . Because in reality he dosent know how to get up once he falls down I assist him and now I see that a number one thing to know what to do before even gliding.

Thank you somuch to everyone who took the time to reply I really appreciate it!

[dbny]

Start your son on recreational fig skates. The heel and toe pick of the blade will help him stay upright since he cannot as easily fall forward or back. A major source of frustration for small children is their hockey skates. They do not have the skating skills or balance to use them yet. We generally keep kids in fig skates and basic skating classes until they pass Basic 2. Then they can switch to hockey classes once they have learned fundamentals of skating.

ITA. You haven't said what kind of skates your son is wearing, but if they are hockey skates, that may well be the source of his frustration.

I would also urge you to leave the coaching to a coach and just be his dad and cheerleader. After he is actually enjoying skating, you can skate with him and he will most likely want to do what you are doing. Don't try to teach him, even then, but just have fun with him.

[londonicechamp]

Hi wolfyj

Make sure that you do not push your son into skating until he is ready. He is 3, so still young.

In my home rink here in Singapore, I saw a boy about your son's age, his mom put him on private lessons with a coach, can see that the kid does not enjoy the skating, as every time the kid fell, he relied on the coach to pick him up. That is rather dangerous, IMOH, as someone else can have cut his hands off.

Have not seen that boy around for lesson now. Maybe the mom decided that enough is enough.

londonicechamp

[wolfyj]

Hello all who have replied.

Thank you for taking your time to read this and give your advice on how to teach my son how to skate.

My wife and I took him to the skating arena today where they had public skate and we worked on getting up off the ice , i took in your advice, we rolled around on our bellies, skated and fell on our bellies and tried to get back up onto our feet (i played with it that i kept falling and he was beating me getting up ) He was trying his hardest putting his bum in the air and using both hands but kept falling so he gave up on this method and went back to what I had first taught him when getting up with the stick (although he had no stick ) he was able to get up one foot and wallah after a few tries he had did it.

He was very happy reaching this achievement and would at times fall down on the ice on purpose just to show us he can get back up all by himself.

He is gliding with one foot and can move around the rink but when I ask him to use two feet he yells at me and says "I AM DAD" and gets very upset but will still skate.

I have done tasks around the house using his other foot but on the rink he favors one foot. Is this normal with his age? will he eventually just go with both feet

I have tried telling him when he uses both feet he goes faster and he likes the idea but soonforgets it andback to that one foot glide.

I mean he can get around using his one footlol but he would be on the right path if he used both

Any advice on how to get him to use his other foot other then tasks around the house for strength building. I am lost.

I should add that my son is a very quick learner and gets bored extremely easy so we have to challenge him or he just wantsto give up

Thanks again

[momof3chicks]

I have seen very few 3 year olds that have the motor coordination not to be frustrated. I had my youngest on the ice (because her big sister had this family girl scout skate thing) at around 4 and she was a bit frustrated too. She started actual lessons by almost 5 and then had much more success. I think just time helps.

[fossi]

Hello wolfyj,

good to hear that other 3 years old guys also try skating :). here everybody told me its to early and i thought so too but the little gangsta pushed me to go skating with him because he was watching a hockey match with his uncle.

i thought it will be a disaster but he was quite good at it and after 2 hours he was walking on the ice. skating he learned with this thing :) ( i do not know whats the word in english so here a photo of him with his uncle)



http://cdn.eventshooters.com/pics/02/01/b1/4ef0_.00009241e.jpg


he is skating with both feets but most of it with one. After reading your postings I think its normal. getting up is also a problem but i will try like you next time to make a challange with him - thanks for that.

also i realised that if he is playing hockey he is much more ambitious even he will never see a puck :P


a proud father
fossi

[blue111moon]

I've taught tots for a couple decades and most kids grow out of the one-foot pushing eventually. I just encourage marching as much as I can and make it as fun as I can. Most little boys, for example, like dinosaurs so I pretend we're all giant dinosaurs (they all know T-Rex) and we stomp around the ice, squashing all the little people (and yes, there's always one kid who informs me that there were no people around when the dinosaurs were alive - but it's still fun). Or we sing "The Ants Go Marching.." and march to the beat.

For a three-year-old, 15 to 20 minutes is probably enough time on the ice. Anything more than half-an-hour is probably too exhausting. If you want to stay longer than that, then it's probably a good idea to take a break in between, have some cocoa watch the other skaters for a few minutes and then try another 15 minutes or so. The important thing is to keep it fun so that the child wants to come back the next time. As long as he's enjoying spending time with Dad, it's fine.

[wolfyj]

Hello wolfyj,

good to hear that other 3 years old guys also try skating :).

a proud father
fossi


Thank you for your reply, I also know what its like to hear it is too young which at times I agree it may be , but when the child want to get out there we have to let them. My son is also bigger like your son not the average 3 year old size for sure.

I never used a pylon or a skating support, well I did but he didnt want to he wanted to go all by himself because he is a big boy (this is right after a potty training process we were always saying he is a big boy ) he started with his arms out and walking on the ice you could see he was pushingoff a bit but he was falling all the time. eventually he decided he didnt need his arms. He has been on the ice for about 3 weeks now and can go (With one foot mainly) get back up off the ice and he can stop himself from falling he also can turn around without falling ahh achievments.


My advice to you personally for the getting back up on the ice, is to lay on the ice with him on your stomach and tell him to go on his knees(as well as you) have his hands on the ice in front of him and his bum in the air and walk his hands back to his feet then get up . I pretended that I could not get up and he was "beating" me that made him ambitous to do it.

Thanks for the reply and goodluck with everything!!

[fossi]

hi blue111moon,

i agree fully as long as its fun its good i think - he skates 1 and a half hour with little breaks (he tells me that he made a penalty and so we have to walk out in the box and rest :) ) he would do longer but i think its not good for him and for me an hour would be enough. this year i do not teach him. he should do whatever he wants on the ice but he likes when someone (not me) is showing him new things.




.

[kayskate]

I gradually wean kids off of depending on me to get up. At first, I pick them up if necessary. Of course, I teach them the proper way to gt up and show them when they are having trouble. After that, I will offer 2 hands, then 1, only a finger, then count to 3 and praise them when they get up themselves. By the time I get down to one finger, I am pretty sure the kid can get up himself and the finger just gives confidence. once a child knows how to get up and has demonstrated it, I insist that they get up themselves. This saves my middle-aged back. Of course, if a kid is really having trouble, I go back to the finger and one hand/2 hands method.

For skating w both feet, I have them stomp ants. I draw ants on the ice and we all stomp the ants. This gets their feet up. Kids love to stomp bugs. Then I draw a trail of ants and have them stomp their way along the trail. If your rink will allow, dad may want to bring a washable marker and try this w his son. I also agree w the other poster who suggested lessons and acting as cheerleader for the child.

Kay

[phoenix]

For skating w both feet, I have them stomp ants. I draw ants on the ice and we all stomp the ants. This gets their feet up. Kids love to stomp bugs. Then I draw a trail of ants and have them stomp their way along the trail. If your rink will allow, dad may want to bring a washable marker and try this w his son.

Kay

Yep, that's my trick too!! No kid can resist it!! I always say "I want to HEAR you stomping those bugs!!" That way they are busy stomping & being loud & they forget that they're scared to pick their feet up. ;)

[slusher]

I use the bug stomping thing for groups because kids will watch each other do it and try to compete. When working individually I have a couple of knobby Gertie balls, those soft rubber balls with bumps on them, because they don't roll very far. We play kick the ball. I put stickers on their feet that are the colors of the balls. Red on left, blue on right for example. The red foot has to kick the red ball. The blue foot has to kick the blue ball.

Kids will grow out of one foot pushing, so don't sweat it too much and it can be an issue of balance and comfort because it sure is fun to go fast like a skateboard and not so fun to use the foot that they don't like. By kicking balls, they can come to a stop, balance themselves and prepare to kick and thus balance on their uncomfortable side.

I'm happy to hear that your son has gotten the hang of falling down and getting up and will do it as a game. There's lots of fun skating stuff that doesn't involving standing on blades :o You're having a fabulous time from the sounds of it!

Also, IMHO, if a kid is going to play hockey, start with hockey skates. They have a much steeper learning curve than flat recreational or figure blades, but once they get used to them, they just fly. It can be more awkward at first with many more falls and a harder time getting up, but especially for hockey, getting used to the idea that it's skate skate, trip fall, get up, and go, is really important.

Using the stick, do the forward fall holding the stick sideways in both hands and see if he can do a moving fall onto knees up.