what is a "skating parent"

[falen]

I do not like to just drop off my dd for the lesson. I stay and watch lesson and practice (1/2 the time I watch her, the other half I watch for predators since there are a number of registered sex offenders in walking distance). Sometimes I skate with her and tell her do this or that. I can't help with technique, but sometimes she'll just do laps---once she counted 100 laps around the rink, so I have to say do a turn, spiral etc). She wants to do off ice as well and I am not comfortable leaving. No one seems to mind but are they thinking "skating mom"? I do help the instructor tie skates (my dd first, then anyone else though).

[sk8tmum]

The person I refer to as a "skating mom" interferes with coaches, criticizes other skaters, micro-manages the skaters every movement, discusses LOUDLY how wonderful their child is and how well they are progressing, and is generally obnoxious and annoying. They are constantly standing at the boards yelling at their skater, or cheering loudly to bring EVERYONE's ATTENTION to something wonderful their kid is doing. They print up 11x14s of every medal presentaiton and "donate" them to the club bulletin board ... etc etc etc. They push other kid's skates out of the change room, and ensure that their kid gets "extra room" on the bench ...

The parent/coach/skater thing is what suits the skater and the coach. It depends, and differs in every situation, and it changes as the skater changes.

Some coaches want parents OUT OF THE ARENA. Some want the parent involved in terms of planning; some want the parents in the arena for safety and support. It depends.

Some skaters are tiny and need their skates tied; some are older and can tie their own. Some skaters need the moral support of the parent at the competition; some want them NOT THERE AT ALL. It depends.

The parents is always a cheerleader, a source of moral support, a provider of equipment, and the person who writes the cheques. Often, it's also a chauffeur. It depends.

I only do technique when I am asked. There are certain things that the coach wants to be "watched for", i.e. position on spins, because it's hard for the skater to tell if they are correcting an error. I watch and tell them if they are doing what the coach wants. But, only if I'm asked to - otherwise, I MYOB.

I never correct the coach's direction on technique or training routines. I don't try to teach new techniques - that's not my job.

And, I do stay for every practice. Realistically, injuries happen. The only time I left, we had to be called as my kid had fallen and suffered a severe concussion; the delay in our return delayed the trip to the emergency room. Plus, I like to watch! I also am able to help out other parents who can't stay: they know that I'll scrape their kid up and do firstaid until they arrive. It's a mutual relationship that has evolved over the years.

[falen]

The person I refer to as a "skating mom" interferes with coaches, criticizes other skaters, micro-manages the skaters every movement, discusses LOUDLY how wonderful their child is and how well they are progressing, and is generally obnoxious and annoying. They are constantly standing at the boards yelling at their skater, or cheering loudly to bring EVERYONE's ATTENTION to something wonderful their kid is doing. They print up 11x14s of every medal presentaiton and "donate" them to the club bulletin board ... etc etc etc. They push other kid's skates out of the change room, and ensure that their kid gets "extra room" on the bench ...

.


Has that really happened? That sounds like something out of the movies, or an episode of Make it or Break It.

So I guess its ok to stick around? It will now be 3 hours with off ice and lessons and practice. It will be cold.

[ukmum]

This is of ccourse not a joke, I have seen it.

In skating, if in nothing else my 9 yr old daughter sets the rules. Nearly a year ago when we first started private lessons she told me "its my skating and I decide" this applies to extra lessons and the coach now knows not to ask me because I will have to check with her. If she doesn't want to or feel up to it she'll say no. She'll say no thank you to the coach and nnot bat an eyelid. If it is a yes she would like to do something then she knows to check with me.

I am pleased that she is such a strong young woman in the making.

Most parents and kids are a little bit afraid of her coach as she has a reputation for being stroppy, however, in our case she has always been sweetness and light and I think it is because both of us have always stood up to her. My daughter loves her coach and after a recent difference of opinion, my daughter told her why she disagreed. The coach always treats my daughter with utmost respect and vice versa.

It is difficult, but it should be a 2 way relationship, if its not then it isnt really working.

[phoenix]

It sounds like you're fine.....when we say "skating parent" we usually are referring to someone who does some/all of the following:

1) coaches their child / makes corrections on technique without having actual knowledge/experience in skating (!) Often over-ruling what the coach has said (Mrs. Leung is famous for this)

2) Forces the child to skate when it's obvious the child doesn't really want to skate

3) Gets angry / abusive when the child falls, messes up jumps/spins/programs, doesn't win/pass a test, etc.

[sk8rdad59]

sk8tmum hit the nail right on the head!!!! And yes falen this is reality, virtually every skating club has at least one of these and frequently more. They are particularly hazardous when they congregate in packs and coaches are often seen running for their lives or sanity. ;)

[RachelSk8er]

Has that really happened? That sounds like something out of the movies, or an episode of Make it or Break It.

So I guess its ok to stick around? It will now be 3 hours with off ice and lessons and practice. It will be cold.

I couldn't tell you how many skaters I have seen over the years who quit because the parents pushed and pushed and pushed until they hated skating. Or they forced their kid to stay in skating even though the kid hated it. (Can we say waste of money!?) When I coached synchro, one of my skaters (who was a jr in high school)'s mom would only let her daughter look at colleges with synchro teams or skating programs because she wanted to still be a skating mom when her daugher went away to school.

I'm lucky, my parents never got involved like that, I was a coach's dream with regard to dealing with parents. Even though my dad and his business partner owned the rink my synchro team held a lot of our practices at and my mom was on the board for the club, they otherwise stayed out of the way. They drove me to/from the rink (many, many early mornings or late nights in blizzards), listened to me complain about skaters I didn't like (truthfully it was mostly pushy skating parents I didn't like more so than their kids), paid the bills, and traveled for competitions. When we were at synchro competitions, they stayed out of my way so I could focus and hung out with the other parents. But I always made all the decisions. I picked my coaches when I was skating singles, I decided what club I wanted to skate synchro at and what level teams I wanted to try out for. I set my own goals.

That's probably why I'm still skating as an adult.

Oh, and my dad tied my skates until I was 12. :)

[sk8tmum]

Has that really happened? That sounds like something out of the movies, or an episode of Make it or Break It. .

My DD, who read this over my shoulder, fell over laughing, and told me EXACTLY which mothers it describes.

She asked to add:

Criticizes every other skater's dress. Has to have the fanciest one made by the best dressmaker, and puts down less fancy ones.
Has to have the latest, best, most expensive equipment; puts down the choices made by other parents.
Insists that her kid gets in the front of group pictures and sends her kid's pictures into the newspaper every chance possible.
Interrupts coaches during other skater's lessons to discuss her kid.
Pats down her princess and tells her "everyone else is mean, they just don't know how special you are".
Encourages her kid to cut off other skaters programs and hog the ice. Encourages the use of "EXCUSE MEEEE" to address other skaters.
Takes notes on every other skater's performance, than tells the coach "what to do" to the program to make it better and rechoreographs the kid on her own. Loves the detail sheets off of CPC, as she can point out every GOE, PCS etc.
Assembles a clique of parents who adulate their skaters.

They really exist; aargh!!!!

[sk8tmum]

Okay, other story. My kid is bilingual, but doesn't advertise it. A skating mum was going on about how lousy the coaching was, how her kid was better than everyone, etc etc etc, criticizing all and sundry, during LTS sessions (my kid amateur coaches).

In my kid's second language.

My beloved DD very politely spoke up and apologized to the mother for the deficiencies in the program, and asked if perhaps she would like the skater to be coached in the other language. Note that in her skates, my kid stands nearly 6 feet tall.

The mother left .... rapidly ... however, she continues to be a skating mum from hell, just, strictly in english and with more discretion!

[techskater]

My personal favorite is the mother who yells instruction from the top of bleachers to both her skater and the coach (who has a control freak streak as well) while the daughter yells her to shut up! :frus:

[Mel On Ice]

I think every generation of kids coming through has at least one. They either learn to shut up, move from club to club to find a home, or someone feeds the beast and she grows to be an intolerable behemoth that poisons your entire club until her kid discovers boys and/or cheerleading.

[Isk8NYC]

I remember a particularly colorful skating DAD who used to stand on the bleachers and curse loudly at his DD throughout every practice. He once screamed out for her to "Move her fat ***" when she was working on an axel.

I guess the kid was used to it because she always stayed on the ice where he could see/yell at her.

Guy had a heart of gold and a potty mouth.

[phoenix]

Yup, sometimes it's the dad.

We had one that videotaped *every* lesson, wouldn't let the daughter listen to music in the car on the way to the rink because "she needs to focus on skating", and would take her beloved books away if he didn't feel she was working hard enough. Her books! :evil::evil:

[kayskate]

Sounds like your child is very young. Please correct me if I misinterpreted. As a coach, I prefer parents of young children to be in the rink. There are many reasons for this. I like the parent to watch the lesson. The parent can see the child's progress and behavior. One student was not paying attn to me during her lesson. I discussed this w mom after and she was aware of the prob, as she had witnessed it herself. Also, if I child takes a bad fall, I can take the child to the parent for a break and offer encouragement to both. I like the parent to watch my teaching style. I want them to know what I am doing and that I competently work w their children. This fosters confidence in the coach.

I have a student whose mom takes her to the rink at least 3x/wk. She stays w the kid. Sometimes dad and bro are there too. They support the child. The child likes this. I like it too. I have gotten to know the family and have a positive rapport. Bro was so impressed w his sister's skating. I know this built the child's confidence. Never a bad thing.

Unless your child is involved in a camp program (usually last a big part of the day), I prefer that my student's parent are there in case of emergency too. It sounds like your involvement in your child's skating is helpful and supportive. You are not a "skating mom". "Skating parent" has a negative connotation. Others have listed the attributes. Doesn't seem that you are doing any of these things. Keep supporting your child and letting her know you are there for her.

Kay

[Mrs Redboots]

If your skater is looking at you after every instruction from his or her coach, then you're a skating parent! I've seen too many kids who can't do anything in a lesson without an okay from their parent, the parent's approval mattering more than anything.

The ones the coaches hate worst are the ones who ring up in the evenings to discuss their child's progress, or who send detailed e-mails!

Of course, there is much to be said for knowing what your child needs to work on and reminding them what the need to practice before every lesson - the coaches will often encourage you to know, so you can say "Have you done your lap of cross-rolls? What about those Level 3 Field Moves, can I see them?" but there's a difference between supervised practice and coaching - and parents should stay on the former side of the fence!

[londonicechamp]

Hi

When I went for ice skating practice yesterday, I heard a mom telling her 9 year old dd 'just do your practice, do not play around', when the poor kid was taking a break. :halo:

londonicechamp

[Isk8NYC]

When I went for ice skating practice yesterday, I heard a mom telling her 9 year old dd 'just do your practice, do not play around', when the poor kid was taking a break. :halo:

You can't judge someone based on a single overheard comment. I've seen skaters get off the ice fifteen times during very expensive freestyle sessions to take a break, retrieve forgotten items one a time, visit the restroom, go back to the restroom because they had a wedgie in their tights, say hi to a late arrival, ask their parent what was for dinner that night, throw away a tissue, etc. etc.

Sometimes what you think is a "poor kid taking a break" is a parent asking their child to focus on the reason they're there. Just sharing my own observations.

A notebook with a check-off list helps stop some of that stalling.

[RachelSk8er]

Yup, sometimes it's the dad.

We had one that videotaped *every* lesson, wouldn't let the daughter listen to music in the car on the way to the rink because "she needs to focus on skating", and would take her beloved books away if he didn't feel she was working hard enough. Her books! :evil::evil:

No joke though, when I was a kid that was the only way to punish me if I misbehaved. All I did was read (and skate). I didn't really watch TV, wasn't into talking on the phone, didn't really care about video games, and we didn't have internet until I was in high school. Sending me to my room was pointless because I'd just hang out in there and read anyway.

Yeah, um, I know it must come as a shock to some of you that I was a weird, geeky kid like that. Ha ha.

Anyway, at my rink, we had a dad who was just awful. He had 3 kids (2 boys--1 intermediate free, one juvenile, 1 girl who was on novice free) and he'd try to coach them when they were out on the ice and not in a lesson. The kids took from Glyn Watts, so it's not like they didn't already have one of the best coaches in the country working with them, but dad would try to coach (yell and scream) while they were not in a lesson. It was way beyond keeping your kid busy and on track and making sure they were not wasting ice time. He once started screaming at his daughter because she was trying to get a bielmann spin and just couldn't because she wasn't quite flexible enough. The poor girl was so frustrated and she was seriously going to hurt herself if she kept trying to do it. I wanted to tell her dad to go out there and do it if it's so easy to just bend more. None of the kids skate any more, no one has seen them at the rink in about a year. Which is a shame, I don't think the boys were all that into it to begin with but the daughter was a really lovely skater. To top it off, the youngest of the sons was downright rude to be on the ice with and had no respect for his coaches, other coaches, other skaters, or the right-of-way on the session, and he screamed at other people. Of course, his dad saw nothing wrong with this. Most mornings it was just me and these 3 kids on the ice, and I HATED it.

[ukmum]

I think it can be an easy trap to fall into - on the edges at least. I consider myself to be a skating mum, not because of my kid, but because I am a mum who skates - and whilst not good, as an adult who started at 38 not bad at that!

Whilst I don't coach from the side (I am nowhere near qualified)!!!! I do encourage my daughter to practice the things her coach has told her to, I do tell her when something is obviously right or wrong (not pulling in enough on her double attempts or cheating an edge) or when she cracks that thing she has been trying for ages, and sometimes I whoop and cheer (the axel when moving) because I know she has tried so hard. I leave it at that, but can see it might only be a small step to the dark side of sad over ambitious parent. I think it might be easy to slip from this into something more.

Once my daughters lesson is finished I watch her practice for 5minutes, then get on and skate myself. Quite often she will come and help me with things like field moves and comment on my spins etc to help me. Not so long ago I was holding her hands while she stepped onto the ice so role reversal or what?

Some parents I have seen however, refuse their children water until "another 10" whatevers are done, refuse food, breaks, constantly talk about their children, how they are discriminated against by judges because of their ethnic background, beauty, talent, age etc etc. How judges are mean and pick on them, withdraw from tests because X is judging.

I think its a good idea to keep a close eye on yourself just to check you're not aware you are overstepping the line.

[falen]

Well I'm not what you describe. What I do is I don't leave. And I am glad kayskate thnks that is ok. I'm sure some may think I am overprotective.

[sk8tmum]

Well I'm not what you describe. What I do is I don't leave. And I am glad kayskate thnks that is ok. I'm sure some may think I am overprotective.


In some clubs, it is a rule that parents of 12 and unders may NOT leave the building during skating practices ...

Anyways, if you're overprotective, then I must be seriously crazy, as I don't leave, and I've got teenagers who tower over me and who have first aid qualifications that beat mine hands down! And I'm not alone at rinkside, I can assure you.

(besides, it gives me the best excuse imaginable to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and a book - guilt free).

Enjoy your kid and your kid's skating. If she didn't want you there ... she'd tell you.

[isakswings]

If your skater is looking at you after every instruction from his or her coach, then you're a skating parent! I've seen too many kids who can't do anything in a lesson without an okay from their parent, the parent's approval mattering more than anything.



When my daughter first started taking private lessons, she would do this. Not so much after every instruction, but several times during a lesson. This was not because she was looking for my approval, but more that she was looking to see if I was watching. She wanted me to watch. After she'd been having lessons for a bit, she stopped doing this. Now it is all about her coach and she doesn't look my way unless her coach tells her to!

So... sometimes a child does this for reasons other then having an over-involved parent.

[sk8rdad59]

Well I'm not what you describe. What I do is I don't leave. And I am glad kayskate thnks that is ok. I'm sure some may think I am overprotective.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with staying to watch, I used to drop by the rink almost daily to watch and did so for the last 10 years. It was a pleasant break after a long day a the office. I have made many friends at the rink parents and skaters alike and ultimately participated on the board of the skating club the last few years. It has been a bit a an adjustment this year as DS is now moved to a different facility in a different town for pairs.

I still drop by about once a month to catch up with everyone.

[isakswings]

You can't judge someone based on a single overheard comment. I've seen skaters get off the ice fifteen times during very expensive freestyle sessions to take a break, retrieve forgotten items one a time, visit the restroom, go back to the restroom because they had a wedgie in their tights, say hi to a late arrival, ask their parent what was for dinner that night, throw away a tissue, etc. etc.

Sometimes what you think is a "poor kid taking a break" is a parent asking their child to focus on the reason they're there. Just sharing my own observations.

A notebook with a check-off list helps stop some of that stalling.

Agree! At our rink, I know most of the parents and have heard ALL of them tell their child the very things I tell mine from time to time. All of us have "those" days when our skater just isn't using their time wisely. As parents, we still have to parent and step in when necessary. You can do this w/o looking as if you are trying to control everything your child does on the ice. I have told my daughter many times to go back out on the ice and it isn't because I am being over bearing. :) It's just my daughter being a kid and having "those" days when she needs to focus and is a bit off and needs me to reinforce things.

[isakswings]

Well I'm not what you describe. What I do is I don't leave. And I am glad kayskate thnks that is ok. I'm sure some may think I am overprotective.

There are a fair amount of us who don't leave. You are not alone! There may come a day when you do leave but I bet it won't be until you have another parent you can trust to watch your daughter. My daughter has been to the rink a few times w/o me and usually it is either when she is with her coach or another friend and her trusted parent. It doesn't happen often, because I quite enjoy watching dd's lessons not to mention I also enjoy watching the progress of some of the other skaters! It's fun to see them progress!

[Skittl1321]

The "skating parent" conversations often worry me because a skating parent is always defined as one who is at every practice. I hate the idea of discouraging parents from being at the rink when their child practices. If your child is not yet a teen (and even then, I'd say a teen old enough to drive) you should be there!

I went to the rink a few Saturdays ago, and there was no one there except two young kids on the ice. No parents (they must have gone shopping, after Christmas sales!), no rink employee (they usually show up at the end of Saturday freestyle), no coaches (unusual, but this was Christmas weekend, lessons must have been canceled since the usual coach lives over an hour away). I chose not to skate. If I fell and seriously hurt myself, I'd be putting my safety in the hands of 7 year olds.

Skating parents should stay in the building. Read a book, knit a sweater, watch/video your kid. Just don't coach them, that crosses the line.

[cazzie]

I'm what I define as a "hopeless skating parent" - I can't tell the difference between jumps (Ok starting to identify my 7 year olds salchow and toe loop but only due to the different entry because he's slower than his sister and only because he's told me about 100 times) and have very little technical know-how. I used to worship the "proper" skating parents although am sometimes astonished by the more outrageous behaviour I have witnessed.

I do go to the rink most practices (sometimes one of my daughter's skating friends parents takes her and occasionally her child-minder brings her) but have found the "rink time" quite productive ito quiet time at my laptop - including a great time to do course-work.

[techskater]

The "skating parent" conversations often worry me because a skating parent is always defined as one who is at every practice. I hate the idea of discouraging parents from being at the rink when their child practices. If your child is not yet a teen (and even then, I'd say a teen old enough to drive) you should be there!
Skating parents should stay in the building. Read a book, knit a sweater, watch/video your kid. Just don't coach them, that crosses the line.

Hear, hear! I never open the definition of SKATE PARENT with one who is always at the rink, rather one who thinks they know it all and aren't afraid to prove themselves a fool!

FWIW, when I was growing up, on the way to the rink in the early, early, AM, my dad would stop and pick up a cup of coffee and a newspaper. While I skated he partook of both and only spent time watching/talking when my coach wanted a conference concerning something or provided a status update. When he was no longer able to take me to the rink (early mornings didn't work in HS due to having to be on the bus before 7A, so I skated after school) my (recently retired at the time) grandparents drove me (I was never able to drive myself - no car because we were saving that money for a good college) and while my grandmother listened to the rink gossip, never partook and never felt herself competent enough to "coach" me from the sidelines during practices without lessons.

I was sort of able to repay the favor to my grandparents at adult nationals a few years ago with many of my great skating friends surrounding them during my FS performance and probably one of my best competitive program ever. :P

[sk8tmum]

After years with the same club, and with the number of hours I spend there, many of my friends are people I've met through skating ... so ... I'm not just there to watch my kids, I'm there to hang out with my friends!

Besides, you know, it's always the ONE practice that you don't stay for when that axel or 2S is finally landed ... and you never hear the end of it ;)

[fsk8r]

The "skating parent" conversations often worry me because a skating parent is always defined as one who is at every practice. I hate the idea of discouraging parents from being at the rink when their child practices. If your child is not yet a teen (and even then, I'd say a teen old enough to drive) you should be there!

I went to the rink a few Saturdays ago, and there was no one there except two young kids on the ice. No parents (they must have gone shopping, after Christmas sales!), no rink employee (they usually show up at the end of Saturday freestyle), no coaches (unusual, but this was Christmas weekend, lessons must have been canceled since the usual coach lives over an hour away). I chose not to skate. If I fell and seriously hurt myself, I'd be putting my safety in the hands of 7 year olds.

Skating parents should stay in the building. Read a book, knit a sweater, watch/video your kid. Just don't coach them, that crosses the line.

I'll agree with this one. I know a teenager who knocked his head whilst in lesosn. He was taken to the medical room and was being cared for by rink staff. The coach felt they couldn't leave them as their mum wasn't in the building. The coach then ended up missing out on lessons. I saw the mum later and she was saying how she expected the coach to stay with her kid. Personally I don't. Once the kid is off the ice they're the parents responsibility.

[Kat12]

I'd think a coach would WANT a parent at the rink if they weren't disruptive--then the coach wouldn't have to take forever to explain to the parent "what I should be correcting [skater] on" (not knowing anything about technique) and a half hour after each lesson to explain to the parent about their kid's progress.

The only part that concerns me about your post is that you're so concerned about sex offenders that you won't even let your daughter do an off-ice class where I assume she'll be in the coach's constant supervision. For one, out of every place in town, I doubt all the sex offenders will choose to congregate at the skating rink. Two, how often is your daughter really not under her coach's eye while at the rink, and how many other parents there don't know you and wouldn't notice her leaving with another person? Three, not all sex offenders are child molesters--some are on the list for going after adults. Four, most people who are sexually assaulted (and I believe this statistic includes children) are assaulted by people they know, not random strangers on the street. And five, if, as it sounds from your post, YOU are not even allowed in the area they hold the off-ice class, why would they allow someone else (sex offender) in? I understand you want to be careful, but please don't see a sex offender around every corner and subsequently not allow your daughter to do anything at all without your supervision.

[Mrs Redboots]

So... sometimes a child does this for reasons other then having an over-involved parent.

Oh, absolutely - it's when it's one of a number of symptoms.... I have known a couple of kids with skating parents who look for approval every few minutes - to the point where one father (who, to be fair, did try not to cross the line between supervising his daughter's practice and coaching her, but didn't usually succeed) was banished to the gallery during her lesson, where he could still see her, but not interfere! Another coach "lost" a skating father whose small boy we all felt incredibly sorry for, firmly saying that no, the boy couldn't go on training here AND at another rink.

[falen]

I'd think a coach would WANT a parent at the rink if they weren't disruptive--then the coach wouldn't have to take forever to explain to the parent "what I should be correcting [skater] on" (not knowing anything about technique) and a half hour after each lesson to explain to the parent about their kid's progress.

The only part that concerns me about your post is that you're so concerned about sex offenders that you won't even let your daughter do an off-ice class where I assume she'll be in the coach's constant supervision. For one, out of every place in town, I doubt all the sex offenders will choose to congregate at the skating rink. Two, how often is your daughter really not under her coach's eye while at the rink, and how many other parents there don't know you and wouldn't notice her leaving with another person? Three, not all sex offenders are child molesters--some are on the list for going after adults. Four, most people who are sexually assaulted (and I believe this statistic includes children) are assaulted by people they know, not random strangers on the street. And five, if, as it sounds from your post, YOU are not even allowed in the area they hold the off-ice class, why would they allow someone else (sex offender) in? I understand you want to be careful, but please don't see a sex offender around every corner and subsequently not allow your daughter to do anything at all without your supervision.

I will try to keep that in mind.

Just for a little background. The second time we went to the rink, maybe about 15 mintues later about 20-30 cops swarmed in. They searched the whole place, lockers, bathrooms. They stayed the whole rest of the session. They also stopped certain people with kids. We were not stopped, I guess I did not fit the description. So it really only takes one offender, all of them do not have to be there. But yes I don't want fear to lock me up in a bubble.

[Isk8NYC]

I've been in places where a search took place. In one case, it was a child custody battle gone wrong, in another the kid had left the rink with a friend without calling home first. Unless the cops told you that they were looking for a sexual offender who may have abducted a child, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion.

If you hadn't looked at the online registry, you probably wouldn't be as nervous. Dangerous times we live in and sometimes we have too much information for our good.

I have a wonderful parent who comes to the rink for her DD's lesson and sits in the stands knitting or reading. She loves the music, she watches the other skates and never says a negative word about anyone. Other than miming claps and cheers upon request, she lets me do my job on the ice. We chit chat about the lesson afterward and away they go. I just wish her daughter had more practice time, but they're very busy. I love coaching the skater, so you take what you can get.

[kayskate]

Ppl off the street do get into some ice rinks. One pace where I used to train was in a mall. Ppl wandered in to watch. This is not necessarily bad b/c some would then decided to skate or take lessons or were scoping out the place to bring their kids. However, one individual took a liking to an adult skater. He followed her out of the bldg one day. Maybe he just liked her and wanted to ask her out for coffee. maybe he didn't. Anyway, this happened more than once. She had a male friend escort her out one time and another time the manager called security to get the individual out of the rink. Unfortunately, we have to watch out for unhealthy behavior. This is easily solved by being there w your child or having someone you know (another parent) there w your child. I don't mean to scare the OP, but she has a pt.

Kay

[falen]

Well at least I'm not a skating parent...just an inner city parent:twisted:

[falen]

If you hadn't looked at the online registry, you probably wouldn't be as nervous. Dangerous times we live in and sometimes we have too much information for our good.

.

You are right. There are 5 that assaulted children. Most are like what another said: adults were the victims.

[Isk8NYC]

Well at least I'm not a skating parent...just an inner city parent:twisted:
I understand what you're saying.

DH and I both catch ourselves being over protective of both kids and things. I was at a play place with the kids last weekend. They were out of my sight (but still in the play areas) when the inflatable castle near my working area suddenly deflated with toddlers inside! I jumped up but in the back of my mind I was thinking "I hope nobody steals my cell phone or computer" both of which I left behind on the table. People are more important than things, right?

No thefts, no injuries, no ranting or lawsuit threats - I love North Carolina!

[sk8tmum]

Well, there was the naked roller blader who rolled across the ice one summer ... my kids were fine with it, other kids were horrified! My kids are ex-ultra urban kids relocated to the suburbs, and there isn't much they haven't seen. The kids who have never lived elsewhere haven't seen as much (at least as much in the way of naked rollerbladers!)

[ukmum]

Falen I think you misunderstood me. I wasn't saying that you were over the top, merely illustrating that from what you had said you most definately are not!

I would not leave my daughter in the rink without at least an adult friend there to keep an eye on her. I want to watch for some of the time because I enjoy seeing her happy. I want to be there if she hurts herself or wants to share her triumphs. I love to watch her skate!

Watching, being there should never be an issue. The issue with soem parents is coaching, criticizing and or bullying. Coaches and rink staff can stop it at the rink, but they can't do anythign about what happens elsewhere and if it happens in public I think it is safe to assume it happens at home.

Watch your daughter and enjoy it, it is part of the fun seeing the joy on their faces. Hold your head up high, she is your daughter, you are proud of her and so you should be. Being there and watching her is how she engages you in her skating part of her life, it is a way of sharing the fun.

There are weirdos everywhere, no reason why a rink would be any differnt to a pool or a park. If your DD skates regularly then it is probably safer as people at the rink know them and who comes with them.

Good luck Falen and don't let them get you down.

[falen]

Thanks ukmum.:D

[Schmeck]

We were warned by our rink staff that the cars in the parking lot were getting broken into by homeless people while everyone was in the rink, and that a few homeless men liked to sneak in and use the showers in the locker rooms 8O. They tried to secure the area a bit more, but the rink was running on a barebones budget, and couldn't hire someone else to patrol the lobby/locker rooms/skate rental/and zamboni. They had 2 staff most of the time - and they did what they could. I would never leave my daughter at the rink after I learned that! I stayed, I froze, but her safety was worth it.

[FigureSk8Dad]

I am at the rink during every afternoon and weekend practice. It's a great way to spend the summer months, here in the desert and I consider it an experiment in cryogenics....hopefully it will slow down my aging!;)

Seriously, there is nothing I enjoy more than watching DD skate. Good days or bad days, it doesn't matter. It's my favorite past time and I get to socialize with the other parents, too.

If DD is practicing sans coach and asks me advice, I've learned to tell her to write it in her journal and ask her coach during their next lesson. There are times however, that she asks if that sit was low enough or if that free leg on her spiral was "up there" to which I'll respond accordingly.

Hopefully, I'm not a "skating parent", just a FigureSk8Dad.

[sk8rdad59]

I am at the rink during every afternoon and weekend practice. It's a great way to spend the summer months, here in the desert and I consider it an experiment in cryogenics....hopefully it will slow down my aging!;)

Seriously, there is nothing I enjoy more than watching DD skate. Good days or bad days, it doesn't matter. It's my favorite past time and I get to socialize with the other parents, too.

If DD is practicing sans coach and asks me advice, I've learned to tell her to write it in her journal and ask her coach during their next lesson. There are times however, that she asks if that sit was low enough or if that free leg on her spiral was "up there" to which I'll respond accordingly.

Hopefully, I'm not a "skating parent", just a FigureSk8Dad.

Yes you are a skating parent, but, you are NOT a "Skating Parent". Many of us spend (or used to spend) a lot of time at the rink. As I have said previously it was a nice way to unwind after a day at work. See some of the first posts on this thread to see the definition of a "Skating Parent".

[isakswings]

Hopefully, I'm not a "skating parent", just a FigureSk8Dad.

Haa haa! You know, I consider myself a "skating mom" but not in a bad way! I am a skating mom to a little girl who skates. I honestly don't see that as a bad thing.

I'm just not one of "those" skating moms! Kwim?

[teresa]

I'm an adult skater not a "skate mom". If I was, I would be at the rink. I skate early and many mornings I'm the only adult at the rink. Because I feel parental about many of the kids I skate with I try to be available when needed. Most mornings this is just a, "Hi". When needed, I've shared a cell phone, band aid or an observing eye after a nasty fall. Most of the parents at my rink are wonderful. They clap at the good and are just available when needed. I applaud this effort. I have seen a parent or two that would fit a "skate mom". I wish they could see themselves on video. =-0 If it wasn't so sad it would be funny. It is sad though. These parents hurt their child, themselves, their coach, and felllow skaters.

teresa

[yfbg722]

I stayed for many years, mainly due to safety concerns, but also because I wanted to support my kids and really enjoyed watching.

For the record, at least three times over the years I was called into action to take my child to emergency so I was very glad I was there. I have run seminars where the skaters were dropped off. If one gets injured and no parent is present it is a very unpleasant time for everyone but especially for the child, waiting for a parent to arrive.

At our facility it is sort of an unwritten rule that parents are to stay behind the glass, but there is no problem with being present and watching. Often our coach rounds us up and puts us on the bleachers rinkside for simulations. Just follow your coach's directions, and your child's wishes, and you should be fine!

[momof3chicks]

Funny thing happened yesterday with my 9 yo. We were forced to leave her (or else she wasn't going to skate that day) at the rink yesterday after school. We of course told her coaches we were doing that so they'd know we were not there and keep her on track. Now, I didn't see it, but when I asked her what she practiced, it honestly sounded as if she had a better practice session with me nowhere in sight.

She talked about having practiced and landing her doubles, doing her death drop and practicing her moves. She said her coach told her to practice those things and she did. Sometimes, when I am there, she isn't so productive it seems.

I wonder if it is better now if I leave!

[Isk8NYC]

We skate at a beautiful facility with a new second-floor fitness center overlooking the ice rink. I work out on Saturday mornings while my kids do synchro. I love watching them skate and I also like being out of reach.

Sometimes, they/the entire team give me a wave. The other people working out next to me look at me funny, ROFLOL.

Since I'm always there, either coaching or working out, I don't drop off except for camps and seminars.