Comedy Routine Ideas?

[Rusty Blades]

The local ice carnival has barely got underway when a little (?) old lady appears on the ice with her walker. Wearing a wrinkled, baggy old dress, her hose drooping down around her ankles, a bit too much makeup and the most gaudy glasses you have ever seen. She is carrying a handbag the size of a suitcase and wearing a hat that has seen better days (generations ago)! She seems to be intent on getting somewhere and unaware of where she is. Around center ice, she suddenly stops and realizes she is on ice. With a flurry of flying feet, she tumbles to the ice and then proceeds to attempt to climb back onto her feet with the aid of her walker while only pushing it across the ice. As the carnival skaters take to the ice again, two young men manage to catch up to her and take her by the arms and drag her off behind the curtain but, at the next change of set, she’s back!

Ok folks, you get the idea - comic relief at the ice show! Your’s truly is going to be “Granny on Ice” at the local festival and I need ideas, pranks for Granny to get up to between sets and while skaters are exiting or entering the ice.

Some of the things I have thought of are a cane to try to catch a handsome young man, peeking behind the curtain during a scene change with gestures of shock, amusement, maybe binoculars, a hankie the size of a throw rug, some flowers to present to some of the skaters, etc!

Any and all ideas welcome!

Dianne
(from “Rusty Blades” to “Granny”!)

[Clarice]

Hmm... what if an alarm went off, either her watch or an old-fashioned alarm clock she's carrying in her capacious handbag. It's time for her medicine. So she extracts a giant bottle labeled "tonic" from said handbag, along with a giant spoon and takes a dose. Woo-hoo, Granny! Now she's fired up - executes some spiffy skating manuever and charges off at top speed! Or, what if she is observed several times during the course of the show knitting a scarf - which turns out to be yards long. She could wrap it around a skater - or several - during the bows.

[techskater]

How about she checks in the glass for her hair and puts her lipstick on around her mouth (colors outside the lines)?

[Mrs Redboots]

Could you have her sitting in a large (lightweight) armchair with her knitting (huge needles so they show), and then being chased off by some of the other skaters before they start their routine.... and next time there's a break, she creeps back... and so on, building up every time.

[Team Arthritis]

Ooh, ooh, don't forget the woopie cushion for the falls

maybe some BigBand swing music or even Edith Piaff circa 1940's

how about a small yippie dog (for real - although it may steal the show)

maybe drop a pretend quater on the ice and have her spend 5 min trying to hack it away with her cane

don't forget the clacking fake false teeth

HAVE A BLAST!
Lyle
p.s. pictures, we want to see the pictures:P

[Isk8NYC]

This reminds me of "Grandma the Clown" (aka: Barry Lubin) from the Big Apple Circus. While I generally dislike clowns, even I like Grandma!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=big+apple+circus+grandma+the+ clown

[Emberchyld]

Are there any kids who could be "naughty" and taunt grandma?

Grab her hat or scarf... she chases them onto the ice wobbling and clumsily, and then a few kids grab her arms and SPIIIIIIN her (maybe make it a beautiful spin), and she comes out of the spin all wobbly and... woozy.

Or some of the more advanced girls can pretend that they're asking grandma for advice, and whenever grandma does some sort of wobbly skating move, they imitate her in a silly, but technically more difficult way?