people change when they get on the ice [Archive]

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peanutskates

01-21-2007, 11:45 AM

I know 3 girls from school, they're in my year, and I've been hanging around with them lately. they are really nice, and they skate. BUT:

they either ignore me or talk about me behind my back when we're at the ice rink. they criticise my skating, my bag, my clothes... they make me feel completely stupid and worthless at skating

now i know im not actually awful at skating - i've skipped 3 grades already and the coaches have been saying that some parts of my skating are perfect. i taught myself for about a year before i started lessons, and it helped a lot. but these girls really get to me.

the first time i wore my skating outfit (normal short skirt and leggings) i hid in the toilet before the lesson, because i didn't want to see them and hear their comments, cause i felt a little self-conscious about the outfit, as i thought they might say something like why is she wearing a skirt, she's completely rubbish at skating, and she's trying to make out she deserves a proper outfit...

anyone else know 2-faced people/skaters?? i hate skating with them, because i always think they'll be looking at me and criticising me when i'm trying to learn something new and it doesn't come off perfectly...

any advice on how to get over it or stop them being so nasty?

peanut x

sexyskates

01-21-2007, 01:40 PM

It must be very hard for you to have these nasty girls saying hurtful things. However, these girls are probably jealous that you are improving so fast, and actually see you as a threat. They are not worth your time. It would be better to just ignore them, and make friends with some of the other people on the session. The nasty girls won't have any fun tormenting you if they don't get a reaction from you. Wear your nice outfits proudly!

Ice Dancer

01-21-2007, 02:34 PM

I agree, I am sure that jealousy is the issue here.

The majority of skaters I have met have all been really lovely people, and you sound as if you love it so don't give up. Ignore these mindless girls and concentrate on your skating. I bet within a year or so they will have given up as they don't sound very serious about it.

Don't worry what they think about your clothes either, be a skater and be proud.

jazzpants

01-21-2007, 03:17 PM

Doesn't sound like these girls are your friends to me!!! And yeah, as everyone else says, they're JEALOUS!!! :evil:

Ignore them! Let 'em be jealous!!! THEIR PROBLEM!!! :twisted: They're NOT worth your time!!! And wear your skating dress proud. You've EARNED it!!! ;)

cecealias

01-21-2007, 04:08 PM

Yes, this has happened to me many many times when i was first starting out in freestyle.

Just ignore them! Keep your head down and work hard. When you get good, they can't say anything then.

fmh

01-21-2007, 06:55 PM

I have a "friend" from school who i also skate with who is kind of like that too. At school he treats me like all his other friends, when i get to skating he either ignores me or when i talk he acts like a know-it-all and makes me feel stupid. so i just ignore him back and dont bother talking to him :P

doubletoe

01-21-2007, 07:06 PM

I remember when I was in junior high school, I had some two-faced friends. They were my friends outside of school, but they would ignore me when we were at school because I wasn't part of the popular group and they wanted to be accepted by the popular group. The same thing is probably happening at your rink. These girls want to be accepted by the girls who are the best skaters or the most popular skaters and that's why they are rejecting you at the rink. Basically, all this means is that THEY are INSECURE people who are ruled by what other people think of them.
The only way to win with people like that is for you to stop caring what THEY think about YOU. If they make fun of you, laugh with them and just act like it's a joke ("I know, it's amazing I'm not on my butt for the whole session, ha ha!"), then skate off and do your thing. Whatever you do, don't let them think their opinion is having any effect on you. If THEY want to join YOU, fine, but don't try to gain their acceptance or try to copy what they are doing. Eventually, they will either respect you for being confident and secure or they will reject you because they are threatened by the fact that you don't need their approval. Either way, you win. :D

teresa

01-21-2007, 10:20 PM

Friends are always your friends and should support you as such. Friendship is not situational. Wear what you want when you skate and makes you feel good. Skating should be about loving what you do and feeling good when you do it. I've found that the best friends in life come over time and appreciate you for yourself. Relationships with mutual respect and caring come over time.

Good luck and hang in there.

teresa

peanutskates

01-22-2007, 02:11 AM

well, this is mainly what i've been thinking...
contrasting, however, is how NICE everyone else is. Random girls (incidentally a higher grade than me) just start talking to me... this little girl skated up and offered to help me with something i wasn't getting... everybody is just soo nice and friendly!
Anyway, thanks to everyone for the advice :D

Helen88

01-22-2007, 10:44 AM

Ice Dancer

01-22-2007, 11:18 AM

I've had simillar experiences - I don't have a coach and I only started group lessons like two weeks ago, and when I try and go through some of the things listed for the grades, people look at me and (maybe I'm just paranoid) they always seem to be thinking along the lines of 'why is she even trying - she's never gonna be any good without a coach'. But I guess you learn to ignore them...

I have a guy who has just joined my LTS group session and he looks down on everyone. He has a daughter of about 10 or so who comes along with him and skates on the public session then comes across to the coned off area when the lessons have finished. That isn't a problem, but what is is his attitude! He is so up his own bum, he was put in the beginners group (and made some stupid comment when they called the register about "thats what they said" when they checked his level) but was moved up to my group as he knew the basics and thinks that he can do it all because his daughter goes to LTS on a Saturday!! He pushes in queues, makes stupid jokes and basically has a high sense of importance. Last week, which was the second week of the term, he asked at reception if the LTS people go through the back entrance like the girls do on Saturdays!! Even though the week before he didn't!

I am sorry I am onto a rant so I will stop. All I am saying is though, there are ignorant people out there who do think they are the best skaters and aren't necessarily so. Ignore these people, concentrate on what you are doing and your progress. If they aren't nice to you and talk to you it is THEIR loss.

doubletoe

01-22-2007, 01:17 PM