Advice? New (I mean recently re-enstated) skater needs help

[hopeful_skater]

Okay, so here's my deal,
My friends are backstabbers. (bluntly put) They talk about me, others and eachother behind our backs. I personally try to not take part in it but it's pretty hard when your supposed "friend" gossips behind your back.

Ok, my "friends" are supposed "pro skaters". One of them just is basically training herself and isn't doing to well with it

The other one... UGH! She is supposedly a "pro" with 40 outfits and tons of medals, 11 pairs of skates, (so far I've only seen 2) and that she's training for the "junior nationals" yeah, right. everyone knows that the regionals and sectionals come first. In reality she's just "taken a few lessons" ,according to her mother, and is basic 6. Big woop, 3 levels higher than me. My skates look whiter (and less scratched) than hers (hers are vicks and i have no clue what mine are) and just because I wouldn't let her wear them she says, "Your skates look fake" I mean, what the heck is a fake skate?? She knows I'm at a basic 3 level (I start lessons in late aug.) but her and the other girl conspire and say "I think she's basic 1" and then tell me that. Basic one is like sitting and standing on the ice and you know WAYYYY easy stuff, like the stuff they teach in snowplow sam. Once we got in a fight and They slammed me on my skating. They perfectly well know skating is my passion as much as thiers.

What should I do? :?:

[TashaKat]

I'm sorry to be blunt but from what you've written here you sound as bad as they are.

Best thing to do, in my opinion, it to stop criticising and looking down on other people, concentrate on your own skating and get some new friends.

[Mrs Redboots]

I should ignore them, and get on with your skating.

[skaternum]

What should I do?
You should learn the definition of "pro" in skating.

You should stop "talking" about them behind their backs and mind your own business.

You should post in places that are primarily for children or young adults.

[TaBalie]

My friends are backstabbers. (bluntly put) They talk about me, others and eachother behind our backs. I personally try to not take part in it but it's pretty hard when your supposed "friend" gossips behind your back.

If your "friends" are doing that, then why are you friends with them? Cut them off, period.

Also, you are essentially doing the same thing, don't stoop the their level.

If you don't enjoy skating because you get bogged down into this soap opera, then move on to something else where you can meet friends that you like, and like you back.

[CanAmSk8ter]

I don't know why kids get so caught up in this- Basic 3, Basic 6, whatever. Ask any skater at your rink who's passed their pre-pre tests and she'll tell you you're ALL beginners. Really, the competitive skaters aren't impressed by Basic 6 versus Basic 3. You're all still in learn-to-skate. In the long run, neither of you is anywhere near being what I think you mean by "pro". Also, Junior Nationals is for juvenile and intermediate skaters. If she's in Basic 6, she's got probably 5 years minimum of very, very hard work and skating several days a week before she'd even be able to try qualifying. Tons of medals? At Basic Skills competitions you're usually in groups of three, so everyone gets a medal. Do compulsories and a program and you get two. It means she's competed a lot, not necessarily that she's good.

I've never heard of Vicks skates, so I'm guessing they're nothing good, unless you're from outside the US and they're something that's not sold here.

If I coached any of you, you'd all be getting a long lecture from me about sportsmanship and what it takes to REALLY make it in skating in the long run. Basic Skills should be about fun and learning the basics well. Any competitive skaters at your rink would laugh at all of you if they heard how seriosuly you take the basic skills levels- and if you stick with skating and get anywhere with it, I promise, you will too. Ignore these girls- it sounds like they want to pretend to be great skaters without putting in the effort and committment, and the only way to do that is to exaggerate your accomplishments to those who don't know enough to realize they're nothing impressive. Unfortunately, you'll run into skaters at all levels who do this, so the earlier you learn to take it with a grain of salt the better.

[vesperholly]

I remember when I was a pre-teen skater (11-12-13 thereabouts) and at the tail end of the learn to skate program, many skaters bragged and exaggerated their skills to each other. I even had one girl tell me she was working on badge 10, when our learn to skate program only had 5 badges. :roll: This seemed especially the case for older kids who were insecure with their skating ability and tried to impress people by lying.

I've mostly found that people who are talented and at a higher level don't really talk about it or throw it in lower level skaters' faces. They're too busy working their butts off on their skating to give a crap about impressing skaters learning a three-turn. Certainly there is some personal competition, but it's like, "I'm landing my double axel, what about you?" - a level where it's appropriate to brag a bit! ITA with CanAmSk8er, they would certainly laugh you out of the rink. It's BASIC SKILLS. Get a grip.

[singerskates]

Looking at your ID, I've found out that your 12. 12 is a very insecure age. Lots of things are changing in your life. Try to find out who you are. Do not worry about what the others think. If you love to skate, then skate. Make the definition of who you are about what you do, not what you say. If you'd concentrate on your skating, you'll soon be out of Basic 3 and into preprelim. If you waist your time thinking about what the others say about you, you'll not move up that quickly. Skating is about focus. If you're focusing on other things, your skating goes no where and it falls apart. Be true to yourself. When the others see that you are improving, they will shut up. Also, no matter what they say, be nice to them (you don't have to be friends with them) and courteous and they will change. If they don't, they aren't ready.
Be your own person. Most importantly, skate from the heart and “Just Have Fun!”

I tell all my skating buddies to skate from the heart and “Just Have Fun!” be they kids, preteens, other adult skaters and elite skaters. If you truly love skating, it won't matter in what level you are to other skaters. They will respect you just because you love to skate.

singerskates

[stardust skies]

Alright, let's get some things straight:

Having 11 pairs of skates doesn't make you a pro, it makes you stupid, and either you've got WAYY too much money to spend, or you're getting really cheap skates and should invest in one good pair instead. Normal skaters don't have more than two pairs at a time, and the second pair is either there while the skater breaks a new pair in, or they are a back up in case of equipment failure at a big event. NO ONE wears 11 pairs of skates.

You also don't determine a pro skater by how many dresses they have. Most pro skaters don't even practice in dresses, they practice in ragged old sweats and jazz pants.

Y'all are in Basic 3 and Basic 6???? NONE of you are going to Regionals (or anything above that) for YEARS AND YEARS. Wake up, seriously. None of you need to be lying to each other about what you can or can't do, and knocking each other's skating. You're in basic skills. You're not doing double axels. If you're this nasty to each other now, I don't even want to imagine what you'll be like when you're at a level that actually matters in qualifying competition.

Professional skaters DON'T go to Nationals. They do shows and do pro competitions which don't really exist anymore. I know it's not a real glamorous term that you can show off with and everything, but the accurate term for skaters who actually compete in qualifying competitions is "amateur".

You can't blame your "friends" for dissing your skating, cause you're doing the same thing to them. And why are you friends with people you don't even like and who don't seem to like you, either?

And for the record, the number of medals doesn't really mean much. If your friend competes ISI, she can get tons of medals just for showing up, esp. if she's competing only against herself or against a couple of people. And Basic Skills competition medals don't mean jack in the real world, either. My advice to you? Open your eyes. I'm not trying to knock your accomplishements, in fact I'd congratulate you on them regardless of which level you are at because skating is hard, but your attitude that you are entitled to this and that and that you take everything so seriously at such a beginner level compelled me to try and give you a little bit of a reality check/perspective. NOTHING warrants for you to feel such animosity towards your friends, and vice versa. You don't even compete in the same level. Ignore them, save the competitive streak for when it really matters, and learn to be more respectful and gracious, be a good sport EVEN if others try to provoke you. Because they will. But as it was displayed on this board, even if they are the ones provoking and insulting you, you're still the one coming off as looking bad, and that's exactly what they want.

Take this situation and learn from it. Best thing you can do.

[jazzpants]

Yeap! Should have known she's 12!!! I was gonna call the "Troll Patrol" too...

Kid, lemme give you some straight advice -- Don't worry about your friends and their skating!!! Worry about your own skating!!! It's all you can control!

You and your friends are far from being "pro skaters." If they're "pro skaters," then I'm a famous skater on TV!!! :roll: :P (Okay, I am famous within skatingforums.com, but that different... :mrgreen: :P :lol: )

[skippyjoy_207]

Errr... Why do you even care?! If you really do skate for your your own enjoyment, you wouldn't be giving a wit about what your so-called friends say about you and your supposedly "fake" skates. You wouldn't care about how they say you look like you're in Basic 1 or whatever. Furthermore, you wouldn't be saying things like:

My skates look more proffesional than hers.

or like:

Basic one is like sitting and standing on the ice and you know WAYYYY easy stuff, like the stuff they teach in snowplow sam.

Before you start claiming skating is your passion as much it is theirs, stop and take a moment to think- Do you want to skate so that you can flaunt medals, costumes, skates, skills, etc., or do you want to skate for yourself???

[skippyjoy_207]

Looking at your ID, I've found out that your 12. 12 is a very insecure age. singerskates

Sorry to be hostile once again, but HopefulSkater, I hardly think that's a reason for anything. I started skating at 12 too, but instead of focusing on other people's skating, I focused on my own. And instead of competing with my skating friends (who are a few levels higher than me), I learned snips of skating from them. A bit of advice there.

[Blosmbubbs]

Also, a Pro is a coach. Why did you title the thread "recently re-enstated"? That term means a skater who has lost their eligibility and wants to be re-enstated. :halo:

[Casey]

You should post in places that are primarily for children or young adults.
I think this is a perfectly fine place. This isn't an adult-only forum or even an adult-only section. Adult skaters are fine and all, but I don't really think it's appropriate to make younger skaters feel unwelcome.

[stardust skies]

Also, a Pro is a coach. Why did you title the thread "recently re-enstated"? That term means a skater who has lost their eligibility and wants to be re-enstated. :halo:

A pro isn't necessarily a coach. Disney on Ice skaters are Pros, too. Just means you're getting paid from shows or competitions that have no sanctions from the ISU. You can also coach, obviously. But there's some eligible/amateur skaters who coach, too, so you don't HAVE to be professional to coach. Johnny Weir coaches quite a bit, and he's still amateur.

Re-instated definitely is the wrong term though, I agree. It would mean you were banned from the USFS or ISU and were allowed to come back as a member. As a Basic Skills kid, you're not even considered a full USFS member in the first place, and the ISU's never heard about you.

[stardust skies]

I think this is a perfectly fine place. This isn't an adult-only forum or even an adult-only section. Adult skaters are fine and all, but I don't really think it's appropriate to make younger skaters feel unwelcome.

I agree with that. I'm a "young adult" and I skate regular track, but I still post here. Then again I don't feel unwelcomed. I think anyone posting the post hopeful_skater posted would be unwelcomed ANYWHERE. How old you are doesn't matter- how you behave in a public forum, does.

[blue111moon]

Technically, there's no such thing as "amateur" or "professional" skaters anymore. The only relavant terms are "eligible" - those who can compete in sanctioned events like Regionals and the Olympics and "ineligible" - people who have competed in an unsanctioned event and choosen to give up the Olympic track.

Eligible skaters can coach, skate in shows and earn money through their skating. Their status has nothing to do with their income.

[skaternum]

I think this is a perfectly fine place. This isn't an adult-only forum or even an adult-only section. Adult skaters are fine and all, but I don't really think it's appropriate to make younger skaters feel unwelcome.Not what I meant. I didn't say, "all young skaters shouldn't post here." The point I was trying to make is that "if you want to post a bunch of immature, juvenile sniping and bragging, do it where the old fogies won't call you out on it." Because clearly, the old fogies will tell you that what you're doing is immature and juvenile. This is not the same thing as saying that all young skaters should NOT post here.

So, here ... I'll make it very clear.

Original poster: if you (specifically you, not your age group, but you who have already shown yourself to be immature and petty) want to post stuff like this and not get called on the carpet for it, you'd be better off trying a site that doesn't have grownups. Because the grownups here will tell you if we think you're being immature and petty.

[samba]

Hopeful_skater - you make me feel young again, kids tell it as it is, as we get older we realise not to, or learn to whistle with no teeth :lol:

Take care now
Grace

[Blosmbubbs]

Stardustskies, I was just giving one example of a pro, I know you can still compete, coach and earn money. I do it, and I am glad I can. I know that losing elegibility and being called pro are different. Sorry if you misunderstood. :)

[hopeful_skater]

skaternum: did I say i wanted other pre-teens opinions? no, i did not. as I am saying this in the most respectful way possible, as you are my elder, I like it when adults (I am not 4-years-old, I'm past the whole "grown-ups" thing) tell me I am being immature and petty. It gives me a reality check I can learn and grow from. Sometimes I need reality checks and when I origionally posted I wa a little steamed, and (don't deny this) everyone ocasionally slanders (or gossips about) people when they're steamed. I admit it yes I am only 12 and I may be a little immature, but that gives you no right to look down upon me. And, I have found a solution: avoid the subject of skating with them. That's all.

Thank you everybody else, though for your help! ;)

Quetion: If Basic skills students aren't registered with the usfsa, then why do I have this patch that says "U.S. figure skating skate with U.S." from snowplow sam :?:

:)

[hopeful_skater]

hmm... in retrospect, my origional post was immature...... hmmm....

Today's life lesson: Think before you type

[Debbie S]

Quetion: If Basic skills students aren't registered with the usfsa, then why do I have this patch that says "U.S. figure skating skate with U.S." from snowplow sam :?:

The Basic Skills program is run by the USFSA, and the patches you get when you pass each level have the USFSA name and logo on them. As an individual skater in Basic Skills, you are registered with the USFSA as only a Basic Skills participant (with hundreds of thousands of others across the U.S.). If you want to test outside of the Basic Skills program (like Pre-Preliminary moves, freestyle, etc.) or compete beyond the Basic Skills level in competitions, you will need to become a member of the USFSA, either as an individual member or a member of a club (most common method).

[Melzorina]

Ok, my "friends" are supposed "pro skaters"

PRO = PROFESSIONAL
PROFESSION = JOB
JOB = Getting paid for it.

[TwirlGirl10]

I started skating when I was 12 too and I am 14 now, and there is no reason to worry about what level other people are at or if you are better than you. I have many friends that are not as good as me or better than me but we all just concentrate on our own skating. Instead of being jealous of eachother, we are happy for eachother for what we have done. Like when I landed my double salchow, my friends were all very happy for me. Try not to get so caught up in levels, because in learn-to-skate they really don't mean that much anyways.