The Laws of Skating

[Mrs Redboots]

When you first master a skill, it is never reproducible in front of your coach.
Conversely, when you try to show your coach a skill you're having trouble with, you do it perfectly.
The fewer people there are on the ice, the greater your chances of a collision.
If there is a puddle on the ice, you are almost certain to fall just there.

Any others? I'm sure there must be lots....

[*JennaD*]

I agree!!!
I was having trouble with skills the other day, I always seem to put my foot down on the 3-turns in it, so I try a 3-turn with my coach just off the pattern, and I can do it! and then when I go and practice it, I still put my foot down!
Also, once I skated a morning session and there were about 40 people on the ice, but no collisions. Then in the afternoon, with about 6 people on, two people go crashing into each other!

[phoenix]

1. If you skate great one day, the next day you will skate like crap.

1b. The next day will be your lesson day.

2. If you start feeling like you're finally pulling it all together & start thinking maybe you can really do this after all, you talented thing you, something will happen *soon* that will send you to the opposite extreme, wondering why you're putting yourself through this when it's all so hopeless anyway. :giveup:

[jazzpants]

1. The coach will almost always spring your worst element when you least expect it.

1b. When you expect your coach to spring a bad lesson day, s/he will almost always ends up doing something else that day...

2. The one day that you take off your knee/hip pads is the day that you end up falling on your knee/hip!!!

[rf3ray]

1. If getting technical elements like spins and jumps down in first session. LEAVE THE ICE RINK AND GO HOME.... I REPEAT DO NOT TRY TO RECREATE IT IN THE 2nd SESSION IT WILL GET WORSE, Especially by the 3rd and 4th..... Then you sorta start it out as you where learning :giveup: :giveup: :giveup:

2. If you havent skated for a while... You usually have all your elements down pact without trying.

3. If you practiced every day... it sorta gets worse :giveup: :giveup:

[samba]

If you fall over - everyone sees it
If you land a difficult jump - nobody sees it

[PattyP]

The axel will always leave you the day of Final round at AN. :frus:

[Figureskates]

The coach sez we are going to work on figures on the next lesson, invariably I bring the freestyle skates.

[TashaKat]

*If you're feeling a little hungover your coach will want to work on sit spins http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/ekelig/g010.gif
*Even if you're not in a lesson your coach will just happen to glance your way right at the moment that you stuff something up
*There is no way on earth that you can follow the tracings of the 'scribe' for Figures but you can bet that you get stuck in someone else's rut when you're doing your Field Moves
*That skirt that you wear over your leotard and tights to hide your butt will spend the whole of the session up above your waist exposing said butt to the entire rink (I didn't realise that till I was videoed)

[Terri C]

Just when you get your program down pat and start skating clean runthroughs, the coach adds or changes something in the program with the argument of COP to persuade you!

You get to the rink, raring to go and either the ice stinks or the session is cancelled, or it's too crowded to do anything.

[Melzorina]

When a friend, or family goes to the rink to watch you, you fall at every given oppourtunity.

[batikat]

When a friend, or family goes to the rink to watch you, you fall at every given oppourtunity.


That one's certainly true. Daughter was in the rink panto last year and the only one in her little group number who had an axel to do. Did a perfect axel every time (6 times) EXCEPT the one where her dad and brother came to watch.

[NickiT]

1. As what happened to me yesterday in my lesson......you start to skate your programme to music and you find the biggest, deepest, widest hole in the ice just as you push into your camel-sit - and promptly go splat!

2. You think you time that entrance into your lutz-loop just right but just as you get into the corner, someone appears and you have to abort or perform a lousy two-footer....also happened to me yesterday.

Nicki

[skaternum]

The day you wear a slick, shiny skating dress or a wrap skirt is the day your pairs partner wants to work on lifts.

[Twinkletoes]

* Right when you plan to do a good jump you toepick yourself flat on ice and spend the next month avec a physiotherapist

[sk8er1964]

If you try too hard, you can't get the jump. You have to relax, then jump! ;)

[Summerkid710]

The later you are running increases the probability of running onto the ice with your guards still on your blades.

[Twinkletoes]

Thanks for the tip. My weakness exactly. :) - And yes I've done that 3 times now. I'm beginning to dislike my guards.

[Kit kat]

If you fall over - everyone sees it
If you land a difficult jump - nobody sees it

THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

[TashaKat]

Just when you get your program down pat and start skating clean runthroughs, the coach adds or changes something in the program with the argument of COP to persuade you!

I don't know what 'COP' is but I agree with the rest of it :D My coach ALWAYS changed and added things. I'd start off working hard to fit everything in, get more comfortable with the program, fit everything in and then she'd add even more stuff in so it was back to the beginning ....

[Kevin Callahan]

If you try to impress your crush through your skating, you will fail. If you're lucky, they'll like you anyway. :)

[NCSkater02]

If you wear layers for a cold rink, it's warm. If you dress light, it's cold.

One of myrinks isn't well insulated, so it sortof follows the outside temperature. It's been hot out recently (in the 90's) so it's been warm in the rink. However, it's hockey camp week so they crank the temp down as soon as they open. It starts out in the mid 50's, and is in the low 40's two sessions later. :roll:

[Terri C]

I don't know what 'COP' is but I agree with the rest of it :D


COP is known as Code of Points, that will be introduced at USFS qualifying events this year for Novice and above!

[Figureskates]

Rule 1. Your coach has eyes of an eagle. She will catch the smallest of mistakes.

Corallary to Rule 1. She will let the rest of the rink know. "I saw that!!"

[jazzpants]

Rule 1. Your coach has eyes of an eagle. She will catch the smallest of mistakes.

Corallary to Rule 1. She will let the rest of the rink know. "I saw that!!"Corallary 2 to Rule 1. Despite popular beliefs, your coach DOES have eyes on the back of her head... :twisted:

[froggy]

great thread!

1. just when you think you got down an element your coach will find something to correct on it
2. you need a tissue the day you didn't bring some to the rink
3. you'll land a solid jump, do good edges and turns while practicing before and after a lesson, but NOT during a lesson with your coach

[Chico]

The skills you are excited about on Friday are GONE Monday. AND, you don't get them back until the following Friday. =-/

The new skill you did on Friday can NOT be on done for your coach and she thinks your nuts. "I swear, I did it on Friday!" Usually the new skill has to be spotted at practice before you can do it during a lesson. "I saw that!"

The harder you try, the worse things get. Impossible skills, well they seem that way during a lesson, suddenly show up during practice and when your coach isn't around. I have the urge to scream at these moments. Sometimes out of joy and others frusteration.

When you FINALLY think you've accomplished a skill only to hear your coach say, "Well, that was pretty good but let's work on....." =-0 And, the thought crosses your mind to scream.

When something scares the heck out of you AND it makes no sense. No matter what you tell yourself your head has a fit.You know it's stupid, but it doesn't seem to matter. In fact you could kill yourself doing your stupid freak out dance. And, your coach is beginning to think your a nut case. And, you worrry she just might me right!

[Sk8pdx]

NEVER admit to your coach what you are afraid of or what you think your worst element is. They will MAKE you do it in your PROGRAM. :evil:

[samba]

If you try to impress your crush through your skating, you will fail. If you're lucky, they'll like you anyway. :)
When my son was sweet sixteen and with a new girlfriend, he fell over and lost the cap off his front tooth , they spent the rest of the session trying to find it!! :oops: white on white, impossible, but she did see him again.

[Kevin Callahan]

When my son was sweet sixteen and with a new girlfriend, he fell over and lost the cap off his front tooth , they spent the rest of the session trying to find it!! :oops: white on white, impossible, but she did see him again.

Haha! Perfect example! :lol: I've seen a few relationships formed because of a fall after a failed attempt at bravado.

[sk8pics]

Your coach will pick the move that requies the most space or the blindest moves or the hardest thing to do in a crowd... on the day that it is most crowded. :roll:
(originally posted by Sk8pdx)
NEVER admit to your coach what you are afraid of or what you think your worst element is. They will MAKE you do it in your PROGRAM
Ha ha, so true.

[CanAmSk8ter]

When you work really hard on something, your coach will respond with a lukewarm, "Yeah, that was better."

No matter how much something improves, your coach will find SOMETHING to correct.

However many runthroughs you do in practice, it's always one fewer than your coach will make you do on lesson.

[Mrs Redboots]

COP is known as Code of Points, that will be introduced at USFS qualifying events this year for Novice and above!Er - I think you'll find it's now known as NJS, or New Judging System - certainly that's what it's called in this country.

[TreSk8sAZ]

You will land a jump for the first time at the very end of the day... then you will forget how you did it the next session.

[renatele]

You will land a jump for the first time at the very end of the day... then you will forget how you did it the next session.

Very true! Had it happen to me this week.

[Melzorina]

NEVER admit to your coach what you are afraid of or what you think your worst element is. They will MAKE you do it in your PROGRAM. :evil:

You see, I didn't know this, and now when we're working on things I don't like (flip, loop, waltz-loop, waltz-half loop-salchow) there'll be an endless list of "Just one more..."

Sometimes when I'm stubborn I just say 'no' quite simply. I know I shouldn't, but I'm scared!!!

[BelleOnIce]

If you have an exam or something important (non skating) coming up, listen to your coach/mum/friends/yourself even and stop before you injur yourself!!

I didnt and 2 days before my standard grade exams when I was 14 I fell on a double flip/ double toe and broke my write wrist!! (it wasnt even the jump I fell on it was cause I was so tired I gave up and when i landed I twisted my arm round then fell back on to it!!) And not just did it stop me from skating and my exams I had to have the cast on for several weeks including during a dance at school!! Not very attractive as the cast had to go from my shoulder to my finger tips to prevent me twisting it!!

(I am accident prone but that along with knocking out my two front teeth at the age of 11 have to be my worst skating accidents!!)

Belle :D

[*IceDancer1419*]

For all us pairs/dancers...

it is ALWAYS the partner's fault...

Ya know, thinking more, I think it's always the MALE partner's fault :P :twisted: hehehe.

Oh, and... when you get a new pair of skates, resolving to keep them as clean and unscuffed as possible, it's completely inevitable that partner will SOMEHOW manage to puncture it ;)

And... the day you decide your knees are healed enough for you to forego the dorky kneepads, you fall on them again (hasn't happened... yet ;) though I htink I may have just jinxed myself)

[sk8er1964]

Ya know, thinking more, I think it's always the MALE partner's fault :P :twisted: hehehe.

Was that ever in question? :bow: :lol:

[Shinn-Reika]

If you stress out thiinking why and element is going wrong for 3 months straight, your coach will correct it in 5 minutes.

He'll then teach you something new, and you'll forget it before the 15 minutes are up.

And in 6 days you'll have it perfect.

And then completely lose it on day seventh, and the cyclke repeats.

All this is odd because you can't understand a single word he says.

[TashaKat]

All this is odd because you can't understand a single word he says.

Which brings us to another law:

Your regular coach can tell you day in, day out, week in, week out how to do a certain move but you won't understand a word he/she says. When your regular coach is on holiday and you take a lesson from someone else it suddenly all becomes crystal clear (much to your regular coach's annoyance).

[skippyjoy_207]

You get a bruise on a sensitive spot one day, and always happen to fall on it the next. :evil:

[pennybeagle]

You get a bruise on a sensitive spot one day, and always happen to fall on it the next. :evil:

Oh, so true, so true!!!

Some more laws:
1. If there is a compulsory event at a competition, it will invariably contain the ONE skill you stink at, out of all the myriad possibilities.

Evidence: I don't know how many silver spins competitions have had a scratch-back scratch combo spin (can't center either of these suckers, but I can center any other spin). A compulsory moves or jump event will almost ALWAYS have some sort of sequence with a half loop (grr!). A solo dance event will always include my weakest dance in an entire set (Dutch Waltz at Prelim, Fiesta Tango at Pre-Bronze, and Ten Fox at Bronze so far). And on, and on... (yep, this made me decide not to do the gold MIF event at Peach).

2. If you have two sets of gloves (or whatever), the ones you like best will be lost first (this also applies to sunglasses, pens, etc...you ALWAYS lose the good ones and the crappiest, cheapest ones will be the ones that will be around for YEARS)

3. The day you forget your water bottle is the day your coach decides to do double run-throughs.

4. If there is a judge that you KNOW tends to mark you low, s/he will definitely be on your panel at the next competition.

5. The worst injuries happen from doing the easiest stuff. And at the most inopportune times.

[Mrs Redboots]

Which brings us to another law:

Your regular coach can tell you day in, day out, week in, week out how to do a certain move but you won't understand a word he/she says. When your regular coach is on holiday and you take a lesson from someone else it suddenly all becomes crystal clear (much to your regular coach's annoyance).Oh, how true! Luckily my coach doesn't mind too much if that happens, and is always encouraging me to have holiday lessons: "You need all the help you can get!" So rude....

[samba]

Oh, how true! Luckily my coach doesn't mind too much if that happens, and is always encouraging me to have holiday lessons: "You need all the help you can get!" So rude....
I had a holiday lesson to-day and it was great, basically said everything that the other coach says but broke it down into idiot portions.

I think I subconsiously (think thats how you spell it) try harder with a different person. My regular coach becomes like a comfortable pair of slippers and I probably dont worry so much if I do it wrong.

[Mrs Redboots]

I had a holiday lesson to-day and it was great, basically said everything that the other coach says but broke it down into idiot portions.I'm never sure whether it's encouraging or discouraging when a totally different coach makes exactly the same corrections that your old coach does.....

[samba]

You know what I'm like Annabel, sometimes it just doesnt sink in!! :roll:

[sue123]

If you have an exam or something important (non skating) coming up, listen to your coach/mum/friends/yourself even and stop before you injur yourself!!

I didnt and 2 days before my standard grade exams when I was 14 I fell on a double flip/ double toe and broke my write wrist!! (it wasnt even the jump I fell on it was cause I was so tired I gave up and when i landed I twisted my arm round then fell back on to it!!) And not just did it stop me from skating and my exams I had to have the cast on for several weeks including during a dance at school!! Not very attractive as the cast had to go from my shoulder to my finger tips to prevent me twisting it!!

(I am accident prone but that along with knocking out my two front teeth at the age of 11 have to be my worst skating accidents!!)

Belle :D

I got a concussion 2 days before a cell bio exam. Funny thing was, I still didn't do too badly, got over class average at least! But it was still a lot lower than my other exams. And she didn't drop it like she said she would. :evil:

[samba]

I hate it when you dont have skating that morning but you wake up anyway, because your bodyclock is programmed that way, ie this morning.

[aussieskater]

Er - I think you'll find it's now known as NJS, or New Judging System - certainly that's what it's called in this country.Down here, the whole system is properly known as the NJS, but the points part of it is still the COP. Often, the whole thing is still colloquially known as the COP (just because the following dialogue: "COP" - "What's COP?" - "The Code of Points" is easier to say than: "NJS" - "What's the NJS?" - "The New Judging System"!).

[Hydroblade]

Ya know, thinking more, I think it's always the MALE partner's fault hehehe.

I've come to accept that and ''it was my fault is automatic'' like when my coach said to my partner olivia: ''i've been really on your case today but it's been a bug the guy year so it balances out'' :giveup:

And no matter how many times you practise your solo someone will always be at the corner where you do the lutz jump

And no matter how many guys are skating on the ice, there are 4 times as many girls.

[Andie]

It seems like when someone takes pictures of you skating, you're likely to do worse because you're trying to harder to do the move right. And you're most likely going to mess up.

[Thin-Ice]

If you're struggling with something during a competition warm-up, and the announcer calls "Skaters, please clear the ice" one of two things will happen when you make one more attempt: 1) you fall.. so the last thing EVERYONE sees you do is the fall :oops: or 2) you do it REALLY well.. and then mess it up in the actual competition event :frus: .