I'm hypnotized by one of our cats. We found her on the street, I was going to the doctor and mom went like Ohhh that's such a cute cat! So she immediately came over. She was a stray, and pregnant, too, with a broken rib. For the next few days, we went there to feed her and then took her home.

She's eaten one of my hamsters. She learned to open the cage. Then, I started putting a ribbon around the cage so she couldnt' open the door. So she watched me feed the hamster, watched me undo the ribbon and then... SHE went and undid the ribbon! Seriously the cat is like an Einstein or whatever.

She started fighting with our other cats originally. We told her if she'd continue, we'd kick her out onto the street. The fighting stopped right awya.

Our car has air-conditioning now, and I'm very grateful for it - it means I can have the heating on without wanting to throw up after a couple of minutes! I have never been able to tolerate the smell of hot engine! And in the summer one doesn't melt or be overcome by fumes from other cars. But it does increase petrol consumption a bit.

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

Because it's Garner. And the afternoon. ??

There are 15 adult skaters on our club's roster, plus a few others in the Raleigh area who aren't club members. The club in Hillsborough has at least that many, if not more, adult skaters. It's just that we're all spread out over the 6 rinks in the area. Many adults with traditional job hours have to skate in the mornings, before work. When you get us all together, we're quite a large group (relatively speaking). At Central Carolina a couple of years ago, we had enough local adults to form 2 teams of 5 each for the team event. A couple of years before that, we had 3 teams at Dogwood. The judges couldn't believe we had enough adults to pull that off. One of my favorite pics from Peach Classic 2005 is a big ol' group shot of all the North Carolina skaters!

Hello! Yes, there are a significant no. of adult skaters in the triangle area of NC, but we all skate at different rinks. I never skate at the Garner rink because it's too far from my home and workplace. Now, I usually skate in the mid-morning at Cary Ice House and some afternoon public sessions at the Reczone. Once in a while, I go to the Triangle Sportsplex and the Factory. Here are some pics of many of the NC skaters from the 2005 Peach Classic: photos.yahoo.com/judytseng2001

Getting back to the original topic, count me in as a childless adult skater, but I'm hoping to change that, with my biological clock tickin' away . My husband has agreed that after the baby, I will still get out of the house at least twice per week to skate. I'd like to keep skating even with kids, but I know that time and cost will be a consideration-- not to mention being too sleepy to even want to get out on the ice and spin. I've already debated whether to take lessons again and try to pass the Adult Gold Moves test, and it doesn't seem worth it when the cost of trying to pass the test is the equivalent of buying a crib and stroller or a month of daycare. If my future child (to be named "Tiffany," "Michelle," or "Sasha"... j/k) shows promise as a skating prodigy, it would only make sense for me to not spend much on my own skating and make way for the 'lil Olympic wannabe.

In Russia, despite popular images of snowy landscapes, temperatures go well above a human's normal body temperature as well - in summer. My grandma's working building is always cold though, even in summer. They've got walls - solid stone, not brick, no really, STONE, about a metre thick (over a yard). Seriously, it's always cold there. Even in summer when everybody's dying from the heat they're wearing pullovers inside.
In winter it's always warm in there. It's a really, really old building. Lenin used to give his speeches from the balcony there and stuff. They knew how to build in the old days!

Then again, it would also make sense for your child to know that her mum knows what it's like to persevere, make sacrifices, and work hard to achieve the maximum she's capable of

I'm SO not the perfect skating mum. I'm forever telling my daughter what didn't look as good as the rest the last time she did her program, and that if she wants it to get better she has to practice. Sometimes I hear myself say something and I think "argh - that sounded AWFUL" and I have to tell her what I really meant, because it's so easy to only comment on what went wrong. But at least she gets to do the same to me. And does. I sometimes overhear what non-skating mums say to their children, and I'm surprised the kids don't respond "well, if it's that easy, you get out here and do it!"

I guess maybe the real question isn't "why are so many skaters childless?" it's "why do so many skating parents not become skaters?" I mean, many of the adult skaters I know, and I definitely include myself in this, aren't the super-fit sporty types who were brilliant at games at school. Quite the opposite. Why are we attracted to skate ourselves, when all those other parents aren't?

I don't say ANYTHING to my daughter after a competition other than "How do you feel about it" She does not take criticism well from her mom (and really that's not my job, that's what the coach gets the big bucks for) and if I try to tell her something positive it's "NO IT WASN"T GOOD-- YOU DON"T KNOW ANYTHING" She's an emotional teenager.

She will advise me (in fact she coached me this weekend) but I have to say I'm much better at taking criticism from her than she is from me.

j

During the summer when I was living in Sydney, many of the younger skaters always looked so tired when they came to the rink. I found out later it was because most of their families did not have any air conditioners in their houses and it was so hot they had a lot of trouble falling asleep at night. We were lucky when we lived there -- we had both central air and a washer/dryer in the apartment.

Maybe they consider themselves 'too old'? Though that would seem surprising in the cases of rinks where there are a fair number of adult skaters. Maybe it's because they can't afford for their kids to skate and to skate themselves? In a number of cases though, I get the feeling it's 'skating-mother-syndrome' : trying to live their own failed dreams through their kids?

S xxx

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There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness"

Oh heck, yes, I didn't mean competition, only program runthroughs when the coach isn't there to comment.

It's more than my life's worth to say anything after she comes off the ice in a competition, unless she's grinning from ear to ear, then "Well done!" is usually pretty safe

It varies a lot, rink by rink. I skate at two regularly these days. At one, there are quite a few "skating families", including other skating fathers, there are evening freestyle sessions set up to support that, and morning "adult only" sessions for the even more mature adult crowd. At the other, where the serious skaters train, there are no designated adult sessions, and the low freestyles in the afternoon are often pretty hairy. Even there, there are a few mother/child groups taking lessons, plus me and my son. I don't think I've seen another skater father at that rink.

I've heard most of the above explanations at one time or another. Obviously nobody admits to skating mother syndrome, though I've seen it. It's hard for us to believe, but I suppose there are people who just wouldn't enjoy skating.

Rob

For us, its more that I cant afford it with two kids that skate.I keep trying to get them to stop and do something else, so far its not working This sport is toooooooo expensive to do it if they dont want to, and I have no dreams but for them to be happy.

One answer I got from a skating mom is that she feels she needs to be "always healthy" for the kids so she can take care of them. If Mom has a sprain ankle, she feels it's only a matter of time the home and family will be chaos. Money is not that much of an issue for her... her kids goes

But yes, the typical answer I got was "I'm too old!!!" Of course, those same moms are the ones I ask how old they are...and as of now, in about half the cases, the moms are not that much older than me and most of them are as old as our competitive adult figure skaters on FS.

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Cheers,
jazzpants

11-04-2006: Shredded "Pre-Bronze FS for Life" Club Membership card!!!
Silver Moves is the next "Mission Impossible"
(Dare I try for Championship Adult Gold someday???)

Thank you for the support, you guys!!!

I second ( or third or fourth ) the "It's too expensive for us all to skate " line. I may take some adult skating in the fall but what if I like it ? Like REALLY like it ? And then there are THREE of us skating ! Ouch.
I think I'll see if DS takes to it. If not, it's time for MEEEEEEEEEE

I have skates, I dont think Im too old at 44, but there is no way we all could skate with lessons ect. We already spend too much!!!Two skaters in the family at the rate my kids skate is spendy. If at some point they slow down, then I can skate too !!

I've seen to notice something with the adult skaters at my rink with children vs the ones without.

The ones without seem more dedicated to the sport and more serious about their skating and the stuff that goes with it.

The ones with kids seem to be distracted by the kids and spend less time on the ice and don't move up as fast. I had some in my class who had kids who were also skating. They ended up quitting because their kid was moving up faster then them.

They seemed to love skating but because the kids were moving up and it was costing more they dropped out. I think it's sad that they had to sacrifice something like that for their kids. I saw one of the mothers the other day at open skate and she was saying how she missed it. My thought was then get back into it. Take the kid out of his whatever other sport they do and put that money to your happiness. Your life shouldn't stop because your a mother.

It's okay to put yourself and your needs/wants ahead of your children. You are human and you worked for it.

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I dont think anyone here thinks your life should stop because you are a mother. But it is different, and we do support the kids. We do give up things so they can have.You do sacifice when you are a parent.If you dont want to change your lifetstyle and adjust, then having kids is something you shouldnt do.Nothing wrong with not having kids.

It seems rather I don't know not worth it. I mean is it that hard to say no to your child when they want something, because you want something? It's definitely not selfish...not even close. YOU do have the right to treat yourself and they do have to learn the world doesn't revolve around them.

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Um, I was one of those mothers who couldn't afford to pay for both my and my daughter's skating.

#1 My life did not stop because I quit skating. Anyone who thinks their life is over -child or adult- because they can't skate has a serious problem.

#2 I just think it would be the height of selfish indulgence to tell my child who got so much benefit out of skating to quit so I could skate. I frankly would have no respect for anyone who did that.

I could quit because I could take the long view, I knew I could get back into it, and I did not resent it, it wasn't sad - please don't feel sorry on my account, it was just life.

What makes me sad is that not only is it considered okay nowadays to put yourself ahead of your children, but you are some kind of as sad pathetic object of pity if you don't.

Sacrifice really is not a bad thing. It's only a bad thing when you turn yourself into some kind of a victim because of it. Trust me. I'm nobody's victim.

J

You said it so much better than me
My kids do know the world isnt about them.But why would I tell my kids no, you cant get new skates, or go to regionals, or anything else to do with skating so I can put MYSELF first? Its not about me, its about me raising my kids. I did live my life before them and will after they are out of the house. I ENJOY them they way they are.The world doesnt revolved around them but its isnt about ME either.... why would I have two kids if I didnt think I had to give up something?
Im not a martyer, but I dont want to be a parent that makes their own needs more than their childs. Its always about compromise !Just like marriage

I don't know, I think parents deserve "goodies" just as much as thier kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with parents you now and then put their needs/wants (whatever you call it) ahead of their kids. Once in a while won't kill anyone and I'm such is a must need boost of some kind. I tip my hat off to the parents who do that. They aren't afraid to say no to their kid and they aren't afraid to say yes to themselves and some themselves. They worked for it so why the heck not.

You only live once and life is only so long. Enjoy it why it lasts and remember you count too, you are a person saying yes won't kill anyone and you might be really glad you did.

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Who said we dont say No to our kids? I dont give them everything. They make choices everyday ie do they want to go out to dinner or skate?Only have so much money .

My needs are met, but No im not going to tell my kids they cant skate so I can.Again, Its not all about me now. Its about my whole FAMILY I had 35 years to put me first

I don't have children and my very athletic sister and BIL just had twin boys six months ago. It'll be interesting to see how they choose to support their sons' athletic pursuits, and whether or not they'll have to compromise their own interests/goals in providing for them (she's an incredibly gifted tennis player and natural athlete; he's a dedicated cyclist). I hope the whole family can find ways to enjoy sports/athletics together - it would be a shame if anyone had to give up completely their favorite pursuits, even in the interest of wholly supporting the boys.

I think it's wonderful when families do sports together and keep healthy, athletic, and united in their lifestyles. It can also balance out what can be a too competitive athletic world out there - and give kids a sense of where their sports can lead them in the long run. I've benefited from the model of having a very active mother; and I would hope my sister's kids will have the same benefit from their mom (and dad, of course).

That said, I've already committed to giving them skating lessons as soon as they're ready. Up here, in skating-crazy MA, that seems to be around age 3.5 or 4. The boys are going to get both hockey and figure skating lessons, too - they get to pick eventually - and I plan to sponsor their skating as much as I possibly can. That's the best part of being an aunt, I think - all the fun, some of the expense, but none of the fallout. Yeah!

I don't think I'd ever be able to quit. I'd go to public sessions (you know, those weekend ones when everybody can come, even with sledges instead of skates and those sessions are very cheap) and not take lessons but I'd sure keep skating! The only thing I can imagine trading figure skating for is either ballroom dancing again or ballet, I just don't have an interest in any other sport and without sport, given my physical condition, I'd not be able to function at all, sport is all that keeps me living.

I was going to write a sarcastic answer, because you sound a little silly lecturing about something I think you don't understand, and then I erased it and am going to try to gently help you understand that not all parents are deprived miserable unhappy people who never say no to their children.I don't know where you get the idea that we are not enjoying life. We are not talking about going without food so our kids can have lamborghini

Yes, there are people who spoil their children. A lot of times what I notice about people who indulge their children - they are people who have not said no to themselves and pretty much ignore their kids and then buy them a lot of stuff to make up for it.

And then there are the parents (and women tend to be more guilty about this) who sacrifice and then resent it and won't shut up about it and play the martyr and hold it over their kids heads. I agree that those people are very annoying. I don't feel sorry for them because I think they are just as self-centered as parents who neglect their children.

But you know most of us do what we have to do, make the sacrifices willingly and most of the time it doesn't even seem like a sacrifice because rewards are worth much more than whatever we gave up. (Okay I confess I have been guilty of saying "I slaved over this dinner, the least you can do is take your dishes to the dishwasher!"


BTW, my daughter who thinks the world revolves around her because I never ever ever in my life ever said no to her is giving up two weeks of her summer to help clean up from Hurrricane Katrina in Louisiana.

(Okay so I couldn't resist a little sarcasm)

j