coach change for my more advanced dd (the just turned 9 year old). I did everything on the up and up, the way it should, but it was still hard, for all involved. I know it is the right decision, but still very difficult.

It always is - no matter how well you do things. Glad you are happy with the decision. Everyone will feel better about it with time.

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I am sure you are right. DD is already getting more used to the idea. I think she knows it is right for her too, but as I explained to her, change is hard, even when it is for the better.

We did the same thing at about the same age. It is hard, really hard, no matter how well it is handled. Give it time, your dd will settle in. In fact, she'll probably get used to it faster than you!

She probably will! I sent her old coach flowers from us today, it isn't like we don't appreciate the last 2 years.

When we switched coaches, in the long run = fantastic improvement, as we knew more about choosing a coach, skaters were older so could have more mature input into the process, were able to observe coaches in action and do more research.

Short term, it was difficult, partly because it was a resented "move" by old coach, but, also because new coaches had higher standards and made the skaters go back and relearn many things, as well as changing many others (i.e. jump technique, spin technique, skating skills). Thus, it was frustrating to at first see what seemed to be "negative progress", but, once the rework was done, the benefits were apparent. Fortunately, we had the patience to see it through this process and weren't tempted to jump ship again, which I have seen other parents do when the new coach didn't have a magic wand that fixed EVERYTHING !

Good idea ... and "old coaches" can come in handy when you need additional lessons in things like moves in the field or whatever, or for emergency coverage for out of town competitions or on test days if your current coach isn't available ... and it's nice to be on good terms with everyone, you end up looking more professional as a parent, and that will endear you to lots of people!

Of course the new coach has to approve to let the old coach do these things.

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blades, gary, Lucy, Emily, take care of Aiden and Sami. Sami is my sweetest heart, and always will be, forever. RIP Cubby Boy, my hero dog.

momof3chicks,
We went through this same event at the end of August and that was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. DD is 8 years old and her coach taught her from ISI Pre-alpha through FS6 and into Pre-Pre. Two years together, several days a week and they were like family. DD was heartbroken, Coach was heartbroken, and I was heartbroken. But, I knew that it was the right thing to do for many reasons. DD knew that it was time to move on as well and that her progress had completely stalled. She was ready for the change and even eager, but the emotional ties were still there making it difficult for all. It's been a couple of months now, and the improvement has been great. Her new coach is a former USFSA international competitor and has taken her back to the basics, from stroking through all of her jumps. It's almost as if she has started from scratch.

In the end, it was the right decision and probably should have come several months earlier. Although there have been a few awkward moments at the rink with the old coach, I know it was the right thing to do.

That said, DD has been off the ice with a pulled hamstring for nearly three weeks now. That was due to a silly trip & fall that left her on the ice in a splits position. Hoping she can get back on the ice soon.

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Supporting my daughter's dream

Everyone I have spoken to about a coaching change has said that they should have done in months before. I include my dd in that as well. I guess hindsight is 20/20 but it certainly doesn't make the change any easier.

I hope your daughter is getting better. It seems it is the silly falls, not the big ones on jumps, that do the most damage.

I totally know this will be the case. The new team sees my dd as a natural jumper and sees some of the basics as the reason she at times doesn't get it as fast as she could. They feel 3-5 weeks of going back to the basics on a few things will yield more progress in the end. They have been working with her part time, so I think that will help, they are not totally new to each other.

Thanks, I don't want him to get the idea that it was personal so much as what my dd needs right now.

I wanted to do it a while ago, but was misguidedly trying to be "Switzerland" and spare everyone heart break, but then I realized that she is in such a pivotal spot in her skating and that it was now or never, and I needed to quit ignoring my own instincts as a parent. It is amazingly difficult.

That would be hard! My daughter has been with her coach for nearly 2 years too. I can imagine that would be a difficult transition. HUGS. It sounds like you are handling it with grace and dignity.

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skating mom to 3 angels on earth and 1 in heaven

We went though this with our coach of 11 years this past spring when we decided to move my son to another city to train pairs. This was a very difficult decision but the coach was very understanding and we keep him updated on a regular basis with progress reports.

Changing coaches IS hard. It's almost like a divorce. You build a relationship with your coach and ending the relationship is sad. A coach can be a "friend" but they're your coach first. If the coach/ student relationship isn't working you need to move on. It was hard enough for me as an adult skater. I can't imagine how stressful it would be as a child. Tons of parent support would be needed to say the least. As an adult I needed los of hugs from fellow skaters and family members. Time and mutual kindness helps things become easier too.

teresa

over this whole coaching change thing. Considering her young age, she is being extremely positive and understanding and mature. She was so excited yesterday as she apparently did a couple of 2Sals and 2Toe Loops yesterday and an accidental 2Flip (meant to be a double toe) with one of the new coaches.

She almost has an increased enthusiasm about her training but acknowledged her sadness as well- pretty insightful for a just turned 9 year old girl. I think everything is going to be just fine.

Oh, and I ordered the "Skating out of your Mind" book and she was really enthusiastic to read it so we started last night.

Sometimes kids amaze me.