What to do next? Confused parents - Page 5

Tennisany1 · #**101** 08-20-2008, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slusher

...We were entranced by the sport, I can't explain it. ...

This is so true. DD has just moved up to preliminary and I can see how the sport would suck you in. I see her out on the ice at a competition and it brings tears to my eyes. I watch a video of her skating and it happens again. There is just something about a small child out on the big sheet of ice all alone. She is giving it her all and has such passion. Entranced is the right word all right!

skaternum · #**102** 08-22-2008, 04:30 PM

Chiming in really late, but I don't understand the outcome of the talk between the OP and her DD. Did you tell her that you can't afford it so she must quit? Or did you tell her how much you can afford and she decided to quit? I don't understand the comment about "have my daughter quit in working towards elite level." What exactly does this mean? Either the kid quits skating or continues skating with different goals. Do you mean the latter? Is your daughter going to quit skating or not?

And since the purpose of this forum is to butt in and express opinions, I have to say -- I think this is a tempest in a teapot. All sports, when done competitively, are expensive and require huge time commitments. Skating is one of the worst. Every family / athlete invests what they can and lives with it. You tell your kid how much you can spend, and they learn to deal with it. It builds character. It's not the end of the world. Personally, I think that most of those extreme cases of families taking out multiple mortgages, working 400 jobs, etc. are absolutely INSANE. Entranced or not, no freaking sport is worth the possible financial destruction of an entire family. And what about the non-skating child??

Has it ever occurred to you that the coaches who insist on daily lessons, etc. may actually be trying to just make more money? Sure, skaters need a lot of ice time and lessons, but is it necessarily true that your talented kid will finish last if you don't give the coach an extra $200 a week? Sadly, there are a lot of unscrupulous coaches out there who convince naive parents that their little darling is really talented and they MUST pay for extra lessons, etc. I see this all the time. Most of these kids wouldn't make it out of Qualifying Rounds, regardless of how much money you pumped into them.

And finally, for crying out loud, the kid is 10.

Tennisany1 · #**103** 08-22-2008, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skaternum

entire post.

Well said skaternum. If you are not careful, skating is one of those sports that can become a bottomless pit in which to throw money . I believe I posted earlier, but I'll repeat because it is important, give the child a budget and let them work out how to spend it. It is good for the child and less stressful for the parents.

I also strongly believe that talent is in the eye of the beholder and some (not all) coaches use the "T" word in order extract more money from parents who have stars in the their eyes. A good coach will respect your budget and help you find ways to use it wisely. For example, lessons with another skater of simillar level can cut coaching costs in half. If both kids are working on a particular spin, there is very little difference between a private and a semi private. In fact, a semi private may actually be better. IMHO if a coach is asking for more time, they should also be making suggestions about how to stretch the current dollars further.

singerskates · #**104** 08-24-2008, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by techskater

Juvenile skaters can no loinger compete with triples in the US (I think you are in Canada, Virtual?). It doesn't stop them from working on them, though, that's for sure.

Why is it that US Juveniles no longer compete with triples?

Clarice · #**105** 08-25-2008, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by singerskates

Why is it that US Juveniles no longer compete with triples?

I don't know that they ever did, really, even though the rules didn't expressly forbid it. Years ago, a girl from our club won Juvenile at Regionals with a triple, and the rule came out the next year. At the time, it seemed that people were surprised that a Juvenile would try one, and that the situation hadn't been addressed in the Rule Book because it hadn't come up before. (I don't know whether she was actually the first, though.) The rule is one of those "protection" things, intended to prevent injury. I know some Juveniles work on triples anyway, but if they needed those jumps for competition, kids would be working on them even earlier.

Ellyn · #**106** 08-25-2008, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clarice

I don't know that they ever did, really, even though the rules didn't expressly forbid it. Years ago, a girl from our club won Juvenile at Regionals with a triple, and the rule came out the next year. At the time, it seemed that people were surprised that a Juvenile would try one, and that the situation hadn't been addressed in the Rule Book because it hadn't come up before. (I don't know whether she was actually the first, though.)

It was rare, but it happened occasionally.

I remember hearing a report from the governing council the year they specified jump limits at lower levels that included banning triples in juvenile, some coach asked what if you had a skater juvenile who could land triples -- the response was a hearty "Test up!"

So it's not so much age as overall skating skill level that determines whether preteens should be working on triples, according to US Figure Skating

Quote:

The rule is one of those "protection" things, intended to prevent injury. I know some Juveniles work on triples anyway, but if they needed those jumps for competition, kids would be working on them even earlier.

Good point.

momof3chicks · #**107** 08-25-2008, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tennisany1

If both kids are working on a particular spin, there is very little difference between a private and a semi private. In fact, a semi private may actually be better. IMHO if a coach is asking for more time, they should also be making suggestions about how to stretch the current dollars further.

This is very true, I find that my daughter is motivated to do the skills as well as the other kids and she works even that much harder.

techskater · #**108** 08-25-2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ellyn

It was rare, but it happened occasionally.

I remember hearing a report from the governing council the year they specified jump limits at lower levels that included banning triples in juvenile, some coach asked what if you had a skater juvenile who could land triples -- the response was a hearty "Test up!"

There was a girl with 2 triples at Juvenile one year in our area (don't recall the club) and there was a lot of angst and vitriol directed towards her and the coach from other skaters and coaches because it seemed as if they had intentionally held her back from Intermediate (I think she was 11) when compared to other skaters - she would have been JUST FINE in Intermediate and had the other skills to fit in that level. I guess the coach was trying to have her skater make a splash (at Juvenile

)

Query · #**109** 08-28-2008, 10:45 AM

Who would of thunk. Looked up "varsity figure skating" on Yahoo. There are private K-12 schools with varsity figure skating teams. E.g.,

http://www.pds.org/page.cfm?p=8

Wonder if any offer skating scholarships.

(I'm not suggesting your DD is ready to leave home.)

TOs8mum · #**110** 08-29-2008, 10:22 PM

If you are only envisioning your daughter standing on the Olympic podium than you are limiting her ability to gain what she potentionally will gain from this sport, that is, self reliance, focus, the ability to set goals AND achieve them, strong character, decision making and the list goes on....

I think, you need to take a step back, and just re-evaluate why she is actually skating to begin with. Is it to make you proud and get to the Olympics, or is it because she has a passion for it and feels free when she steps on the ice, and all the stress and frustration and whatever other negative experiences away from the arena just simply melt away with each pull of the lace as she prepares to chase that perfect edge?

She's 10, when I was 10 I wanted to be just like Chris Everet Lloyd. Played a good game too, but I also wanted to be so many other things, and I am thankful that my parents allowed me the ability to explore them and not to be chained to one sport. Could I have been great? Who knows, who cares.
But I still love tennis and enjoy playing it with my son. Will your daughter enjoy skating and want to teach your grandchildren how to skate? Or will it be a constant source of agony over money and memories?

edited for length.

twokidsskatemom · #**111** 08-29-2008, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOs8mum

I too have a daughter, who is 9, actually is about to turn 10, and is in PreJuv, first year this year.

$$ is tight right now, but we have always lived within our means, that is, we were lucky enough to live solely on my husband's income. I have 3 kids, she is our middle child. I went back to work recently, to fund, not just my daughter's skating but all of my children's activities.

Although we are just at the very begining of competitive skating, we are by no means wealthy, just sensible and pragmatic. My daughter has a very fine axel, has been skating nearly 3 years, that is, she has never actually ever stepped on the ice until she was nearly 7. She has been professionally coached for the last 18 months, and has risen dramatically.

She landed her first axel in April, and decided that was her fav jump. She has spend all summer working on 4 different doubles. She is nearly there on her double sal. I'm realistic enough to think she'll have it sometime in September, and then who knows about the rest.

Here's where I hope you are going to find this interesting. My husband and I have decided that IF she passes her Juv test next spring AND if she can land all of her doubles including her axel by next Christmas, we will continue to fund her skating towards achieving elite status. By next Christmas (09) she will be 11, however if she is still struggling with her doubles and not even close to attempting a triple by next Christmas, then we will know that in today's demanding sport that she will move down to test, and she will continue to enjoy her recreational sport at a financial level that works for us, and at a pace that will allow her to experience a more normal childhood.

As to financing, here's the facts, the window for development in this sport in this time, is incredibly small as Virtual8r said. You as the parent have to decide if it is worth remortgaging your home to carry you the next 2 or 3 years for training your young athelete (that would put your daughter at 12/13/14). If it isn't, then go recreational and continue at your 5k or less threshold per year. She will continue to improve, still get a lot of joy and satisfaction from her sport, and possibly could even go varsity in a few years if that is her goal.

If you are only envisioning your daughter standing on the Olympic podium than you are limiting her ability to gain what she potentionally will gain from this sport, that is, self reliance, focus, the ability to set goals AND achieve them, strong character, decision making and the list goes on....

I think, you need to take a step back, and just re-evaluate why she is actually skating to begin with. Is it to make you proud and get to the Olympics, or is it because she has a passion for it and feels free when she steps on the ice, and all the stress and frustration and whatever other negative experiences away from the arena just simply melt away with each pull of the lace as she prepares to chase that perfect edge?

She's 10, when I was 10 I wanted to be just like Chris Everet Lloyd. Played a good game too, but I also wanted to be so many other things, and I am thankful that my parents allowed me the ability to explore them and not to be chained to one sport. Could I have been great? Who knows, who cares.
But I still love tennis and enjoy playing it with my son. Will your daughter enjoy skating and want to teach your grandchildren how to skate? Or will it be a constant source of agony over money and memories?

I dont think you understand the op, or maybe no one can unless you have walked in her shoes. No matter what sport, its very hard to be told your child has something special and then not be able to help your child.
She never said she wanted her child to go to the olys. She did say her child does well, has been told they can go futher than another skater and she wasnt sure what to do.
Her skater is on the competive track. A skater a pre juv with just an axel or axle double sal isnt, at least isnt for right now.That doesnt mean she cant be, but isnt for now.
Double axles can take 3 or 4 years to master.Ashley Wagner senior ladies took 4 years for her D/A and that isnt uncommon.
imo
edited to add,
I think you are in Canada, maybe pre juv isnt the same as it is here. Pre juv here is double lutz, and maybe a double double try with nice spins combos.

TOs8mum · #**112** 08-30-2008, 05:15 PM

Twokidsskatemom wrote:

Quote:

I dont think you understand the op, or maybe no one can unless you have walked in her shoes. No matter what sport, its very hard to be told your child has something special and then not be able to help your child.

Well, obviously you didn't seem to understand my post, or at least I wasn't direct enough. I am walking in this woman's shoes, as many of us here are. But as parents, it is up to us to decide at what point we say enough and to clearly and subjectively look at our own (not our child's) motivation as to why we are spending the cash in the first place.

Clearly this little girl is talented, but if her mom is seriously fretting about the cost of things now, she will not be capable of sacrificing even further for when things really start to balloon.

She appears to have made a decision, and a difficult one at that. But she isn't the first parent to say I can't, and she won't be the last. That does not mean that she has to give up skating, it just means that she won't be on the competitive track.

Just curious though, Twokids, why spend 10s of thousands of dollars a year on your child's sport (especially if they are skating at pre-Novice and above) in the competitive track if his/her ultimate goal isn't to attempt to finish first at Nationals one day? Ultimately these athletes are hopeful to represent their country at high profile events. So, if this isn't your motivation, why on earth go into the competitive track in the first place? To place last? To just fill in the numbers? It makes no sense whatsoever, as if you are skating for the pure enjoyment, but not the ultimate goal of being the best, stay in test and truly skate against yourself.
Sorry to sound harsh, as it isn't really my intent.

twokidsskatemom · #**113** 08-30-2008, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOs8mum

Twokidsskatemom wrote:

Well, obviously you didn't seem to understand my post, or at least I wasn't direct enough. I am walking in this woman's shoes, as many of us here are. But as parents, it is up to us to decide at what point we say enough and to clearly and subjectively look at our own (not our child's) motivation as to why we are spending the cash in the first place.

Clearly this little girl is talented, but if her mom is seriously fretting about the cost of things now, she will not be capable of sacrificing even further for when things really start to balloon.

She appears to have made a decision, and a difficult one at that. But she isn't the first parent to say I can't, and she won't be the last. That does not mean that she has to give up skating, it just means that she won't be on the competitive track.

Just curious though, Twokids, why spend 10s of thousands of dollars a year on your child's sport (especially if they are skating at pre-Novice and above) in the competitive track if his/her ultimate goal isn't to attempt to finish first at Nationals one day? Ultimately these athletes are hopeful to represent their country at high profile events. So, if this isn't your motivation, why on earth go into the competitive track in the first place? To place last? To just fill in the numbers? It makes no sense whatsoever, as if you are skating for the pure enjoyment, but not the ultimate goal of being the best, stay in test and truly skate against yourself.
Sorry to sound harsh, as it isn't really my intent.

No, you arent in her shoes. She has a highly talented skater that has been told she has promise. She isnt sure how to handle the in abilty to fund talent and wanted to know what others thought.When your skater is told that, then you can relate to the OP.When a well known coach tells you your skater has promise, then you can relate to the Op.
I have no clue if you are serious or not re your last remarks.The goal isnt to finish first, at least not for my kids.My kids like to compete and placement isnt the goal at all, no matter what we spend or dont spend.Sorry you dont see it that way

TOs8mum · #**114** 08-30-2008, 11:03 PM

How arrogant of you to assume I am not walking in this woman's shoes.

Tell me, do you know me? do you know my own child?

Yet you seem to have an intimate knowledge of this woman and her child.

You yourself have made the personal decision to spend a small fortune on your child's hobby, as she likes to compete, your words, and you don't care how she places, again your words, because it makes her happy. Good for you.

I like to cook, but personally don't care if my kitchen is ever awarded 3 micheline stars or not, if I want to buy $1500 pots and pans and then go to an expensive cooking school that's my prerogative, if I want to over extend my finances to do this, again my choice and I have to live with the consequences. But it's still a hobby as I will never be on Iron Chef America and don't want to be. That doesn't mean I don't make a mean souffle and have innovative dishes.

As is your daughter's skating, and the subject of this thread's skating.

Many children show promise, and it is to the coach's benefit to be able to spot these kids and then tell the parents their kid has talent. Coaching is a profession, paid, and not a charity and as they are self employed they do need to be on the look out for more talent. Not many parents can easily afford the cost of developing the talent and not many parents are willing to put themselves into poverty to do it. If this child is truly an extraordinary talent and the coach him or herself sees this, then why isn't the coach offering to teach this kid for free or a drastically reduced fee? If this coach is popular and in demand I'm pretty sure it won't really affect his/her bottom line tremendously. Why isn't this coach talking to various people who would love to sponsor such a talented little wunderkind? Why isn't the coach pulling strings within the community to get things moving for this family?

The author of this thread was looking for someone to tell her, do it by any means. Thankfully her own common sense prevailed, and she has to now live with her decision as difficult as it is. Not every dream comes true, and not everyone has the means or the will to make their dreams come true, and some dreams are better left dreams.

Competitive athletes are not competitive because they want to place last. Try telling that one to Michelle Kwan, Lance Armstrong, Carl Lewis, and many other elite athletes. They are in competitive sport to not only challenge themselves but to win, whether it is a race, a competition, endorsements, whatever motivates them to seek out glory.

Glory comes in many packages, and I am sorry but I do not believe that an elite skater's highest goal is NOT to win, and that you don't put your kid in a highly competitive environment that sucks the financial life out you so that he/she can place last and compete for the fun of it.

But you obviously do, and that is quite clearly something we both do not agree on.

twokidsskatemom · #**115** 08-31-2008, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOs8mum

How arrogant of you to assume I am not walking in this woman's shoes.

Tell me, do you know me? do you know my own child?

Yet you seem to have an intimate knowledge of this woman and her child.

You yourself have made the personal decision to spend a small fortune on your child's hobby, as she likes to compete, your words, and you don't care how she places, again your words, because it makes her happy. Good for you.

I like to cook, but personally don't care if my kitchen is ever awarded 3 micheline stars or not, if I want to buy $1500 pots and pans and then go to an expensive cooking school that's my prerogative, if I want to over extend my finances to do this, again my choice and I have to live with the consequences. But it's still a hobby as I will never be on Iron Chef America and don't want to be. That doesn't mean I don't make a mean souffle and have innovative dishes.

As is your daughter's skating, and the subject of this thread's skating.

Many children show promise, and it is to the coach's benefit to be able to spot these kids and then tell the parents their kid has talent. Coaching is a profession, paid, and not a charity and as they are self employed they do need to be on the look out for more talent. Not many parents can easily afford the cost of developing the talent and not many parents are willing to put themselves into poverty to do it. If this child is truly an extraordinary talent and the coach him or herself sees this, then why isn't the coach offering to teach this kid for free or a drastically reduced fee? If this coach is popular and in demand I'm pretty sure it won't really affect his/her bottom line tremendously. Why isn't this coach talking to various people who would love to sponsor such a talented little wunderkind? Why isn't the coach pulling strings within the community to get things moving for this family?

The author of this thread was looking for someone to tell her, do it by any means. Thankfully her own common sense prevailed, and she has to now live with her decision as difficult as it is. Not every dream comes true, and not everyone has the means or the will to make their dreams come true, and some dreams are better left dreams.

Competitive athletes are not competitive because they want to place last. Try telling that one to Michelle Kwan, Lance Armstrong, Carl Lewis, and many other elite athletes. They are in competitive sport to not only challenge themselves but to win, whether it is a race, a competition, endorsements, whatever motivates them to seek out glory.

Glory comes in many packages, and I am sorry but I do not believe that an elite skater's highest goal is NOT to win, and that you don't put your kid in a highly competitive environment that sucks the financial life out you so that he/she can place last and compete for the fun of it.

But you obviously do, and that is quite clearly something we both do not agree on.

Excuse me, do you know me? I dont spend a small fortune on skating, but that isnt what we are talking about.
When you are told your child has promise, then come back.I think its very sad you would tell a 9 year old if you dont have a D/A by next christmas you cant compete. Who puts that kind of presure about a jump on a 9 or 10 year old?Your skater has a single axle now, doubles take years.
And I would guess most parents on here dont feel the way you do. I didnt say the skater didnt want to win, I said parents shouldnt do that with the only goal in mind.We dont, and its a shame YOU do.
And I do know the Op, and have watched her skater for a few years now.
If skaters ONLY goal was to win, then most wouldnt be skating at all. The goal should be the best they can.Do you think comps run with only kids that come in first?How many comps has your child done? If they dont win they cant do it ?
Sad.
Oh edited to add.
I just noticed you took out your big idea about telling your skater they had to have a D/A by next year. Why did you take that part out? oh, embarrased now?Edited because it was too long, all your posts are longer......
Like I said, you dont walk in her shoes.

sk8lady · #**116** 08-31-2008, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twokidsskatemom

And I do know the Op, and have watched her skater for a few years now.
If skaters ONLY goal was to win, then most wouldnt be skating at all. The goal should be the best they can.Do you think comps run with only kids that come in first?How many comps has your child done? If they dont win they cant do it ?
Sad.
Oh edited to add.
I just noticed you took out your big idea about telling your skater they had to have a D/A by next year. Why did you take that part out? oh, embarrased now?Edited because it was too long, all your posts are longer......
Like I said, you dont walk in her shoes.

Maybe I'm confused, but isn't the purpose of this board to allow people to chat and express their opinions?
You've made several personal attacks on people during the course of this discussion thread and I wonder if the moderator thinks this is appropriate? .

twokidsskatemom · #**117** 08-31-2008, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sk8lady

Maybe I'm confused, but isn't the purpose of this board to allow people to chat and express their opinions?
You've made several personal attacks on people during the course of this discussion thread and I wonder if the moderator thinks this is appropriate? .

I dont think I have made an attacks on anyone, sorry that you do. Just trying to explain.I was trying to defend the op, as the postor above was slamming her or at least that is how I took it.

Tennisany1 · #**118** 08-31-2008, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sk8rmom2006

... Right now, we are spending over $30K per year, if she eventually quit competitive, I hope she do it now. It's just how I present the reality and let her mature faster than her age.

Just to bring things back to the original poster's comments, I am confused about how a child skating 6 hours per week, who's coach is asking for an increase to 15 hours per week, could possibly be spending $30,000 per year? $30,000 for 6 hours per week (even with the cost of skates, dresses, and competitions) seems a bit stiff!

My dd has skated 6 hours per week for the past year and will be adding another 1.5 hours per week this fall. She also has done 3 hours of ballet per week and will increase that this fall as well. The ballet is a mixture of group and private as is the skating. She gets LOTS of lessons and competes and tests regularly in both skating and ballet. I can assure you we are not spending $30,000 per year.

I realize the OP has made her decision; however, I feel very strongly that a child can compete up to the Juvenile level quite successfully without going over the $30,000 per year mark. Lots of successful kids do. In fact, there are pre novice and novice kids who do as well.

While new skating parents should be aware that skating is expensive, I wouldn't want a new parent reading this thread to think that they need to be spending that kind of money so early on.

twokidsskatemom · #**119** 08-31-2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tennisany1

Just to bring things back to the original poster's comments, I am confused about how a child skating 6 hours per week, who's coach is asking for an increase to 15 hours per week, could possibly be spending $30,000 per year? $30,000 for 6 hours per week (even with the cost of skates, dresses, and competitions) seems a bit stiff!

My dd has skated 6 hours per week for the past year and will be adding another 1.5 hours per week this fall. She also has done 3 hours of ballet per week and will increase that this fall as well. The ballet is a mixture of group and private as is the skating. She gets LOTS of lessons and competes and tests regularly in both skating and ballet. I can assure you we are not spending $30,000 per year.

I realize the OP has made her decision; however, I feel very strongly that a child can compete up to the Juvenile level quite successfully without going over the $30,000 per year mark. Lots of successful kids do. In fact, there are pre novice and novice kids who do as well.

While new skating parents should be aware that skating is expensive, I wouldn't want a new parent reading this thread to think that they need to be spending that kind of money so early on.

I agree, even though I am not sure what pre novice is :}
We spend alot less and we have two kids. Our biggest expense is travel for comps and testing.I have no idea why the poster above thinks we are spending a small fortune. I barter for of the things for skating. We are blessed that we have had some support.
I was trying to stop people from jumping on the OP for her feelings. I do understand how she feels. I wish I could post my concerns about skating, however I dont want to be slammed.

Sessy · #**120** 09-01-2008, 07:51 AM

I don't think you have the right to tell her to quit skating, but you can present the facts of your life, financial and travelling distances and let her decide what to do with it. And besides, what are you so worried about? Once she passes the age limit and if she's then not good enough to test up, then your problem solves itself - if she is good enough to test up, then she's apparently so talented that 6 hours a week are enough. Maybe not to get medals, but enough to stay in the competition. And maybe she's willing to settle for that, to say, okay I'm not medalling but then I can't afford to train as much as others either, so I'm doing pretty well in competition after all.

I think your problem is that you're entirely focused on the end result. Look at it this way. Even if she quits the competitive track eventually, every year she's in it she's living her dream. Even if she's not medalling, she's living her dream. You can't just tell her to stop doing that because it would be more convenient for you, she'll hate you for it - trust me, I know a few (2) adults in different sports who had to quit because their parents didn't think it was *convenient*. You can tell her that you're at the top of what you can afford though, that you can't afford to give more than you're giving and that this is as good as it gets. And you can tell her coach that, too. That's just the way it is. She's old enough to know there's an end to money. But you can't tell her to quit!

Besides, consider this, driver's license age where you live is what, 16? 4 years from now, she's gonna be able to drive herself to the rink and you won't need to worry about it. But if she quits now, she'll be lucky if she can still do a single four years from now, skating skills go quite quickly.

TOs8mum · #**121** 09-01-2008, 10:32 AM

Twokids,

I wrote:

Here's where I hope you are going to find this interesting. My husband and I have decided that IF she passes her Juv test next spring AND if she can land all of her doubles including her axel by next Christmas, we will continue to fund her skating towards achieving elite status. By next Christmas (09) she will be 11, however if she is still struggling with her doubles and not even close to attempting a triple by next Christmas, then we will know that in today's demanding sport that she will move down to test, and she will continue to enjoy her recreational sport at a financial level that works for us, and at a pace that will allow her to experience a more normal childhood.

Nowhere in my post did I say that I told her she has to do a 2 anything!
I shortened my post because you had already quoted it in it's entirety. Embarrassed, don't be so presumptive.

You wrote:

Quote:

Excuse me, do you know me? I dont spend a small fortune on skating, but that isnt what we are talking about.
When you are told your child has promise, then come back.I think its very sad you would tell a 9 year old if you dont have a D/A by next christmas you cant compete. (NO I DIDN'T READ ABOVE) Who puts that kind of presure about a jump on a 9 or 10 year old?Your skater has a single axle now, doubles take years.

And I would guess most parents on here dont feel the way you do. I didnt say the skater didnt want to win, I said parents shouldnt do that with the only goal in mind.We dont, and its a shame YOU do.

And I do know the Op, and have watched her skater for a few years now.
If skaters ONLY goal was to win, then most wouldnt be skating at all. The goal should be the best they can.Do you think comps run with only kids that come in first?How many comps has your child done? If they dont win they cant do it ?

(CLEARLY YOU COMPLETELY MISINTERPETED WHAT I WAS SAYING)

Sad.

Oh edited to add.
I just noticed you took out your big idea about telling your skater they had to have a D/A by next year. Why did you take that part out? oh, embarrased now?Edited because it was too long, all your posts are longer......
Like I said, you dont walk in her shoes.

Well I have a tendnacy to post long. I am trying to keep posts a little shorter and more to the point. Obviously now this isn't going to happen.

For whatever reason you have attacked me. For whatever reason I have hit some kind of a nerve in you. At the moment if I say blue you will say indigo.

I am not attacking you, and I am not attacking your skater or your beliefs.

The OP had asked what to do. I gave my opinion and you chose to attack it and then attack me personally.

I am not interested in lowering myself to mudslinging. My daughter has done enough competitions where she has come in 1st and middle of the field and almost last. Each competition has been a learning experience, and an enjoyable one.

We have been told my daughter has talent. We have had to wrestle with whether or not to stay on a test track (non competitive) yet still compete with other like minded skaters (Starskate) or to go ahead and test the waters with competitive skating. For now we are going competitive, and as my ORIGINAL post said MY HUSBAND AND I are waiting and seeing how she progresses by December/09. By that time we will have a good idea whether or to commit more finances and focus and sacrifice on a fledgling competitive career. If not we will drop back and continue to support her skating but not with a purely competitive bent. We have also had to really evaluate why we are supporting her in her endeavour to skate competitive.

Either way it is a win/win situation. Obviously you have misinterpreted my posts. How sad indeed.

TOs8mum · #**122** 09-01-2008, 10:52 AM

Trying to get back on track here !!

Tennisany1:
Your post is excellent! :

Quote:

Quote:
Originally Posted by sk8rmom2006
... Right now, we are spending over $30K per year, if she eventually quit competitive, I hope she do it now. It's just how I present the reality and let her mature faster than her age.

Just to bring things back to the original poster's comments, I am confused about how a child skating 6 hours per week, who's coach is asking for an increase to 15 hours per week, could possibly be spending $30,000 per year? $30,000 for 6 hours per week (even with the cost of skates, dresses, and competitions) seems a bit stiff!

My dd has skated 6 hours per week for the past year and will be adding another 1.5 hours per week this fall. She also has done 3 hours of ballet per week and will increase that this fall as well. The ballet is a mixture of group and private as is the skating. She gets LOTS of lessons and competes and tests regularly in both skating and ballet. I can assure you we are not spending $30,000 per year.

I realize the OP has made her decision; however, I feel very strongly that a child can compete up to the Juvenile level quite successfully without going over the $30,000 per year mark. Lots of successful kids do. In fact, there are pre novice and novice kids who do as well.

While new skating parents should be aware that skating is expensive, I wouldn't want a new parent reading this thread to think that they need to be spending that kind of money so early on.

Very true. As we both live in Canada, there seems to be a bit of confussion as to what each level means compared to the States.

Here is a link to Skate Canada that shows what each of the minimum criteria are for each level:

technical requirements for SkateCanada

Edited to say: Tennisany1, I have reread your posts here, and honestly you give terrific advice!! Very level headed, and you have basically hit the nail on the head to exactly what I was trying to express! Thank you! I hope that Sk8rmom2006 has also found your posts useful.

twokidsskatemom · #**123** 09-01-2008, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TOs8mum

Trying to get back on track here !!

Tennisany1:
Your post is excellent! :

Very true. As we both live in Canada, there seems to be a bit of confussion as to what each level means compared to the States.

Here is a link to Skate Canada that shows what each of the minimum criteria are for each level:

technical requirements for SkateCanada

Edited to say: Tennisany1, I have reread your posts here, and honestly you give terrific advice!! Very level headed, and you have basically hit the nail on the head to exactly what I was trying to express! Thank you! I hope that Sk8rmom2006 has also found your posts useful.

I didnt attacked you, I stated my opion of someone that came on here and never posted and then attacked the OP on her feelings.Most people dont come on a board and just post the way you did.They get the feel of something first.

Sessy · #**124** 09-01-2008, 03:18 PM

Tosk8mum, sounds like you have a sound plan.

TOs8mum · #**125** 09-03-2008, 06:12 AM

Thank you Sessy.

I hope you are doing better, I have reread some of your posts and hope you are back on the ice soon.

BTW dd just landed her 2Sal last night!! Not once, not twice, but whipped off 15 clean landed out of 20.

Boy was she pooped when we got home...as you are in the Netherlands I am not sure when children there go back to school, but here in Canada, for the most part, school started yesterday.

I think she was still running on the pure adrenaline and excitement factor of the first day of school (had a very good day) and that translated well to the ice.

Hopefully she will be able to repeat the 2Sals today!!

But I digress from the nature of this thread!!

Perhaps it would be a good idea to start a thread on recent accomplishments if there isn't one already.

Have a good day Sessy! (As I write this it is very early and my day is just starting whereas you are probably already through half the afternoon!)

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