It's all about the money.

Hey Dolly,

LOL you know what's funny is that you bring up an awesome point ....... technically coaches are supposed to provide their skater's parents with a copy of the code of ethics at the beginning of any partnership. It was a majorly stressed point at the Level 1 course.

Thank you all so much! I used to blame myself so much when the coach said my daughter didn't practice enough between lessons. I even stoped my group lesson so that I can have more time to practice with my daughter. But my daughter is "learning some bad skating " according the coach. After reading all of your posts, I think I have to talk to her as soon as possbile, although I am still wondering how I should start the conversation.

Thanks again! You are right, I shouldn't pay her when I am so unhappy.

I can't imagine any coach with 1/2 a brain thinking a 4 1/2 year old needs that much private lesson time. That's a sure way to burnout at a young age, and cause unnecessary injuries at a young age. We have a little girl where I skate that is only now on the ice 5 days a week, and it was because she asked. She is talented and landing 2/lutzes at 8.......but, her parents have always made sure she had plenty of play time with her friends and everything hasn't been about skating. They want to make sure there is balance. In addition, I've been on the ice with kids that young and they just can't focus for an entire session. Out of lesson they don't really have a concept of practicing on their own yet. As for liking the coach, we have a group that really like their coach. Sad thing is, they've all stayed with the same coach and never progressed. A bad decision based on the kids liking her. Now they are all to old to make it to regionals in anything but open categories (all are preliminary and below and now in their teens), so don't make liking the coach a basis for your decision. Good luck. It's very hard to part with a coach. I know, I've been there.

I think another great point is that .... children's bones don't fully mature/dense up until they are at least the age of 14 ......... so they're bodies are really suceptible to damage at ages younger than that ..... I think 9 and 10 year olds doing clean double lutzes with proer technique is ok ........ but my point is that if bones don't harden in struture till 14 years old ... .what are they like in a 4 year old?!?! Then I think the common sense for multiple private lessons come in ....... this coach obviously has none.

Remember that there are a billion coaches out there. And liking the coach is totally fine, and great for a working relationship, but don['t let it get to the point where you're left feeling obligated to stay because the coach will take advantage of that. That's what my first coach did and I ended up staying with her when I shouldn't have and wasted a good year or two .... that's one or two years that I could have spent more in the novice comp. ranks.

What's the worst the coach can do? Not talk to you afterwards? I'd look at that as a blessing, hehehe. I have a good saying for the sport ... for every person you meet in the sport that you like/look up to/ or are friends with ... there are ten more out there that won't like you for one thing or another. So just weed out the bad and let the good flourish

You might start by telling her that your daughter really does just skate for fun and has no competitive dreams at her age, so you think a coach with a less serious approach would be better for her now. You could add that if your daughter does decide to become competitive in the future, you would certainly consider returning. It's best to leave with as few hard feelings as possible as the skating world can be very small and an angry coach can make things very hard for you.

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In skating it is your time and your money---that's what you should be concerned with--just like you outgrow shoes you can outgrow coaches and partners---so move one before it's too late

Get a copy of the Coaches Code of Ethics..actually all coaches should give one out to all parents. Get a copy, if you registered with Skate Canada, it is on there site. This coach is abusing the code.

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Don't laugh at me because I can't do it.Smile at me because I tried!!

My own quote.

I dont care if this is the most "talented" child skater on earth, at age 4 or 5 ONE lesson a week is enough.
For a coach to suggest 3 lessons a week is irresponsible and transparently greedy.

You should also consider if any coach is a member of the PSA. Members are held to a code of ethics similar to the Canadian Professionals. Psa coaches should also show a interest in continued education, attending conferences and achieving ratings.
Many coaches that act in the way your current coach is behaving often downplay the importance of the PSA as a organization, and often feel that they know plenty about the sport.
Robin Wagner (sarah hughes coach) was the keynote speaker at this years PSA international conference and she made some very important points on coach/student relationships. Many master rated and olympic coaches still learn from each other at these conferences.
Life's too short for your child not to enjoy each time on the ice.
If they love it they will stick to it.