Just for fun, what are some of the reasons for not skating well or a good mannered insult?

There is always the opportunity to blame the ice or your skates. However my particular favourite sarcastic remark is:

"That spin travelled so far you need a passport for it".

Or the coach comments:

"Gee I don't think I ever mentioned that before!" (in relation to sticking my butt out during (fill in appropriate) dance)

Can't think of any others at the moment so if you have them please pass them on.

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Oh I have a great one!
"Split falling leaf! Harumpf! Looks like the whole damn tree fell!"
LOL! My coach is a riot!

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Warm Regards,
Kathleen

"It is never too late to become what you might have been."
George Eliot

One from my old coach, after I two-footed a jump:

"It's a good thing you don't have a third foot, because you'd put that d*** thing down too!"

This is going to be a good thread
My favorite......."You're butt is sticking out so far I could use it as a table!"

"You just did a sourcow!!!" - from my primary coach. That's her term for a salchow that wasn't properly checked. Hee hee, I like it.

"Don't bring your brain out here!!" - from another coach at my rink. She seems to think I think too much! Maybe I do.

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All that glitters has a high refractive index.

"For a moment there I thought I was watching wrestling on the telly!" Our coach when we'd done a particularly bad Swing Dance.....

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Mrs Redboots
~~~~~~~~
I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

After doing forward crossrolls from the juv mif test (hadn't had a moves lesson in 5 months). "Well, they're fixable."

Reasons for not skating well? I'm a college student living on campus, and I have a lesson at 7am on Sunday mornings. Do I really need any more of an excuse?

"Do you have any M&M's" from a couple of people, but particularly my coach regarding my clenching my fist when I skate.

"That's it!!! I'm gonna put sticks in your gloves so you won't close your hand!" (Hand clenching again.)

One former FS coach said "If you two foot the landing again, you owe a dollar." I kept doing that and she said "Geez, I probably could afford college for my kids at this rate!!!"

Me: "I'm tired!" (as I was able to start a lesson.)
Same former FS Coach: "You're tired!!! Too bad!!!"

A fellow skater regarding a travelling scratch spin: "Don't forget your luggage!!!" (She knows who she is if she's reading this!!!)

My arm position on my loop: "What are you? A Harley mama???"

"Did you lose something on the ice???" (on my looking down after coming out of a spin...)

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jazzpants

11-04-2006: Shredded "Pre-Bronze FS for Life" Club Membership card!!!
Silver Moves is the next "Mission Impossible"
(Dare I try for Championship Adult Gold someday???)

Thank you for the support, you guys!!!

"Is that a sit spin, or is the toilet too cold to sit down on?"

For those dreaded camel spins

"oh look...you're peeing on the fire hydrant"

Hmmm... how many times have I heard that one

and when I was learning sit spins and my legs weren't close enough together I was told "they aren't even in the same zip code"

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everytime i fall: "You dropped something!" and then there's "How does the ice look?" (for my head being down)

Thats funny jp1andonly!
My coach says "looks like your peeing on a fire hydrant" for my laybacks
On my extremly hyper days..
"Kill it before it multiplies!"
While popping a jump with my legs not crossed
"I could drive my car through your legs"
After having a tough first session
"Try to stand up next session... Oh wait you weren't purposly 'trying" to fall."
Reason for not skating well..
"I'm physically handicap from the hips down today"
After warming up single loop, double loop. She says..
"Okay triple"
I say loop??
"No triple bunnyhop!!"

I'll think of some more

My favorite funny, "This is figure skating NOT male catching, rotate your hips under!"

Chico

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"I truly believe, when God created skating, he patted himself on the back."

This past Thursday..

"When are you going to throw the walker away?"

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Keeping School Figures Alive!!

Thanks everyone for the contributions. Keep them coming.

The one I get when I am trying a back catchfoot spin from a friend:
"You look like a dog cocking it's leg".

Kathyskates - are you trying to emulate Polly Pooperak?

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One coach (not ours), last week, while we were having our lesson, yelled at her pupil: "You aren't bringing your feet together! And nor are you, Annabel!" as she spotted me making the same mistake..... And I won't tell you what my husband's coach said about what he does with his arms as he starts his solo dances, as it wouldn't be kind!

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Aussie Willy
Thanks everyone for the contributions. Keep them coming.

The one I get when I am trying a back catchfoot spin from a friend:
"You look like a dog cocking it's leg".

Kathyskates - are you trying to emulate Polly Pooperak? [/QUOTE


I'm not sure! I don't know enough about Polly to be really sure!

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Warm Regards,
Kathleen

"It is never too late to become what you might have been."
George Eliot

Kathyskates - the imaginary skater known as Polly Pooperak is well known for her falling tree (as opposed to her falling leaf). She jumps from the barrier and does a bellywhacker on the ice.

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"Your shoulders were so far ahead of your hips (on that double) they've already crossed the international date line"

During on off-ice class

me: my elbow is bleeding on the carpet
coach: put a towel under it. this is new carpet

After a particularly bad jump comment from a Russian coach -That looked like an aeroflot landing. Is that figure skating or dance?

LOL Willy! That does sound like me. Although the falling leaf that I did for my coach that time was decent if not spectacular. He just has to have a snide remark!

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Warm Regards,
Kathleen

"It is never too late to become what you might have been."
George Eliot

Coach yesterday during waltz eight practice on the back outside edge..

"Scratch those toepicks one more time and I am going to file those suckers off!"

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Keeping School Figures Alive!!

OK I've got one form this morning during a lesson where i was working on Axels.

"what you're doing is a glorified Waltz jump...without the glory"