Yeah, i know all about "bringing in the money." Some parents (who have endless supplies of money) think they can call the shots, and right now they are.

As for me, i have just tried to be objective and state to the parents in a nice way how freestyles should run (since i have been to MANY other rinks' freestyles) recommending kids not lay/stand around on the ice, and the director will take up for them, and someone like me who is in the minority about being more serious about the sport is labeled a troublemaker. That's okay, i'm going to the other rink more often starting this week - the 1 hour drive will be worth it for my sanity and to be around a rink that is run professionally. Yeah for me~

I have been dealing with anger issues lately and that is not like me....i bought chocolate eclairs last night and have a good figure, but right now, i am doing emotional eating right before a competition -- not good! I just figure over time this little group of parents will turn on each other.

miraclegro -
At least you recognize the emotional eating, even if you didn't stop yourself. Been there with you, just make sure you take care of yourself in that respect.

One of the reasons why I skate in the early AM is to AVOID the drama that goes on later. We have a number of high level skaters at our rink whose parents "bring in the money" - a couple representing other countries. The kids are, for the most part, great, it's the parents who need a lesson in proper behavior. I think it's because they have nothing better to do while they sit at the rink for a couple hours while their kids skate. Here's a hint, bring a book if you don't sew, cross stitch, knit, crochet, etc.

And, I agree, one of the biggest drama makers is one of the male coaches at our rink. Sheesh!

You could be writing about me

Our coach asked me last week if it is really worth the 3 hour drive every other week to take my dd to another rink to train. I said yes, it is totally worth it. For both of us it is an emotional balm to be in a place where I can sit and watch her, and she can skate, and it is all stress-free. No eyes watching, no gossip flying around, no cold shoulders. I only wish I could take her more. The only time I enjoy being at our rink is during the daytime sessions while school is in session and the "lobby moms" are working. Other than that, I hate being at the rink. Anger issues? Oh I got 'em. And I have the extra weight to prove it!

__________________
BuggieMom
><>
Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs....

Well, Buggiemom,

at least i know you share the same feelings b/c there have been times i felt so alone. Been traveling to rinks for over 10 years and now this little group thinks they know everything. My reputation has been damaged, and my emotions, so i am paying for my ice now, where i was getting it free. I quit teaching learn to skate which was my favorite.

But...ah, the drive to the other rink with the mountain views and cows in the fields, and my car with my favorite music, (Christian, classical, etc) is SOO worth it! yeah!

I sent you a PM....

__________________
BuggieMom
><>
Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs....

I sent you one, too!

Just read this entire thread, and all I have to say is that it starts from the top down!

I agree with rink politics. I am a relatively new skater (1 yr anniversary on the 6th) My freestyle (group) coach doesn't get along with my private coach. My spins coach (group) doesn't get along with the patch coach. I also live in a place with quite a few rinks, and the inter-rink relationships are all the gossip. I have heard quite a few things that suprised me not having grown up in the skating world (I started at 34yrs).

Then there is something wrong with my 'real world' 'cause it's a giant P.I.T.A. and the rink is a welcome refuge!

__________________
Dianne
(A.O.S.S.? Got it BAD! )

IMO, you have hit the nail on the head.

__________________

This Happens To Some People At My Rink, Where A Certain Group Of Skaters Will Take Over Most Of The Ice And Shut Out Those Who Are Not Welcome, Making For A Horrible Practice Session With No Ice Space And The Feeling That 'They Are Watching Your Every Move'. As Well As This Happening To People Who Skate From Other Rinks This Happens To Even The Regular Ones Too!

Why Is Figure Skating Such A B*tchy Sport ?!

__________________
Goals For This Year:
Make My Double Flip More Consistent
Land Axel-Double Toeloop So I Can Take Level 6
Land A Double-Double Combo
Stay Injury-Free Throughout The Comp Season
Take My Level 1 Coaching Test


You Can Do Anything If You Put Your Mind To It


Visit My YouTube! www.youtube.com/figureskatingdaisy

Agreed. Be grateful if you have not yet encountered the level of drama that can exist in the "real world"!

__________________
"You don't have to put an age limit on your dreams." - Dara Torres, 41, after her 2nd medal at the 2008 Olympics

I am experiencing this right now. Having given years of unstinting service to my club and endured the rink politics and club politics, I always tried to have as my guiding principles the good of the majority of club members. Many people on the club committee however are there either because they think it's the way to get their child favoured in the club (and sadly this seems to work) or they have their own agenda issues of power and control.

I don't think it's specifically a gender issue (I've had male bosses in the workplace who used me to score points off each other) but I do think a preponderence of females who are highly involved with their kids is a major factor in club politics.

Currently I have ended up withdrawing from offering a huge service to the club which a lot of club members really, really appreciated and wanted, due to the behaviour of just a couple of club committee members who took the opportunity for a power play at my expense and at the expense of the club members wishes. The unbeleivable thing was that one of these people was someone who I had counted as a close friend as recently as a week prior to this.

Unfortunately people who are supportive when you speak to them in person become different people when in committee and they feel self-interest or rather child's interest may be at stake. You can't really blame them, as they are all too aware that if you put your head above the parapet you are in danger of being shot down.

Sadly I think I am congenitally incapable of keeping my head down and will always stand up for what I believe in. Believe me I have suffered for it!

Last summer, I prepaid for contract ice on Saturday mornings (to make sure I always had my space there--no room for walk-ons). Unfortunately, a popular international coach who trains in our area decided that those Saturday mornings would be an opportune time to bring his seven elite pairs-in-training for a group lesson. That meant that 14 skaters took over the rink, training in "wolf packs" and skating at the highest of speeds. Because they were training at the world/Olympic level with one of the greatest coaches on earth, it was okay for them to train like this with no regard whatsoever to the "little people" who paid the same $ to skate there as well.

__________________
This space has been put on hiatus for retuning....

The big drama at my rink is the figure skating vs. hockey issue. Our rink owner is a former pro hockey player with his own hockey school etc.
Some of the issues have been from cutting freestyle time to accomodate Stick n Puck , esp since we are down to one surface due to maintenance work being done on the other. The other issue is ice not getting cut before the beginning of the freestyle sessions in the afternoon. We (coaches, parents and myself) have heard excuses from "there were only two kids out there" to "we're having a meeting, sorry."
One of the parents has taken documentation of all of this and sent a e-mail to the skating director. Since then that problem has been resolved somewhat.

__________________
Adult Nationals, 2009 "The Time of My Life"

I highly agree with your entire post, all of it, but I'll just comment on this part here. At at club one time, the mom in charge of publicity of how skaters fared in test or competition would only send the results to the media if her own child won, or was maybe second. The results for the entire club! If her child did poorly, she would "forget" to send them in, so that if it was your child winning a medal, it never got published.

I've left two clubs. I'm back at one again. The other - a lost cause.

we have very similar problems as well. the ice is always freshly cut for hockey, but they will go 4 hours without an ice cut during public sessions (which is where all the freestyle training takes place). things have gotten slightly better now that we have a second surface, but the figure skaters still get slighted. the second surface is really small, and that is where nearly all of the freestyle sessions are held.

the rest of the drama at my rink surrounds one or two people, and honestly, i think they thrive on the drama. there is nothing to be done except try to avoid it (and hope they don't try to start something because "you weren't talking to them).

__________________
Youtube Videos

I've been especially down lately about some of the drama at my current training rink. It's really ugly! I skate at a large, twin rink facility while college is in session. There are quite a few moms who sit and gossip about people, compare skaters, criticize and yell at their kids. I know because I sit there tying my skates and I hear it. Then I go out there to practice and feel their beady eyes on me and wonder what they're saying. The Synchro girls rank other skaters and actually make lists and post them on myspace. They say things like "so and so is too fat" and other horrible stuff. And then there's an even bigger problem with a girl who is 15 who refuses to get out of anyone's way even if they're having a lesson or in their program. She is the most incredibly rude person I've ever encountered and when I've talked to my coach and the director, they seemed compassionate but her behavior never changes and I know it's because her mom is such a vocal, intimidating person in the club. I feel like I'm being bullied by this girl now, to be honest. She comes at me, staring me down - I have to move or she'll run me down and she has before. I could really vent on and on here but I'll spare you more. But because that special someone's mom has so much pull at the rink...I'm about ready to go to a new rink in the area and I know several others who are upset about this girl and the gossip. What's interesting is that my home club is much smaller with only one ice surface and the atmosphere is so much nicer and family-like and there are more club members than the other, larger rink.

I'm just kind of blown away by the terrible examples a lot of the parents are setting and the behavior by a lot of the princesses. I've been involved in dance since I was a little kid and its an atmosphere of respect for others and self discipline, generally. There are definitely more divas in skating, imho. And, parents aren't allowed to watch dance classes nearly as much as they do in skating (and almost NEVER have the opportunity to yell at their kid or "instruct" them) and there just seems to be a lot less drama and gossip. I've been involved in gymnastics and haven't seen the kind of rude behavior that I've seen in skating, either.

I'm really just venting, not looking for answers. Thanks for listening.

My daughter sometimes gets like that, she will stand on the side of the rink stropping if she can't do something she is practicing that is beyond her current level. So I calmly suggest that she might like to go home as she's clearly had enough for that day and rather than just saying no I would like to practice she thinks I plan on dragging her off the ice and she just starts getting emotional, so I kindly remind her that other people are trying to skate and she is getting in their way.

and this time of the year is the worst IMHO. Competition season is done; the competitive season is beginning for the competitive kids, with the pressure for some to pass the next test, and/or to decide if they are going to stay competitive. The StarSkate (rec) stream kids are in off-season, so, no competitions, maybe not any test days either.

People are switching coaches, or debating about it; coaches are paranoid about their kids switching away, or, subtly/not so subtly "prospecting" for the kids they want; for those coaches who don't bill regularly, the big bills are coming out; kids are deciding if they are going to quit or go on; yearly plans are being done ... there aren't really competitions to focus on; other sports are kicking in ... coaches incomes are dropping as the skaters who don't skate year round quit until next season.

I hate April and May. More b**ching, backbiting, petty backoffice politics go on than at any other time of the year. Too much uncertainty and pressure, too much time on the hands for too many...

(hey, can you figure out I've had a really unpleasant few weeks lately?!)

No place has more drama than a home with a teenage girl.

j

I think, like all places with drama, it's a big fish/small pond issue. The smaller the pong, the bigger the small issues seem, LOL!

And, BTW, most of our coach drama involves the male coaches at our rink.

Reading the stories here makes me think we are VERY lucky at our rink. It's pretty drama free most of the time.

__________________
-Jessi
What I need is a montage...
Visit my skating journal or my Youtube videos (updated with 2 new videos Sept 26, 2009)

I am a "no drama" type of person....I just hope that I can continue that....I just got put on the board for our club and I want to stay as drama free as possible!

__________________
Skating Dreams

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the no's become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES." --Nike

Yeah -- we're not a "training" facility and, therefore, I think we may be more supportive of each other than a lot of places. No one cheers louder for competitors than we do, LOL!