Ok, lots of different views would be good here... How is the world of figure skating different for a boy- ie(opportunities, competitions, etc)

We were talking about this this morning in reference to an 11-year-old that our coaches teach. He is not very disciplined, apparently - he actually reminds me of the way my husband skates: lots of energy, but not very much control. However, at the moment he is winning everything he enters, largely due to the fact that there are only 3 or 4 boys in each class at his level, and he is fast.

But he needs to work on his off-ice stretching and flexibility, as, so coach2 was saying, he won't be able to get away with it much longer. It may be easier for boys at the lower level, but it is harder for them as they get higher. They can't get away with not having all their triples, the way the girls can, and they also now need just as much flexibility for the spins and so forth.

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

[accidentally double posted - so deleted this one - !

Okay, here goes:

1. Equipment: more expensive, harder to get. Includes skating outfits.
2. Harassment: easier to get. My DS has been teased, insulted, etc., because of the perception that figure skating is less than masculine. Physically assaulted once ...
3. Lonelier. There aren't a lot of boys out there (in our area, he's the only one at his level) - and it's hard sometimes to be unique.
4. More visible. Because he's the only one, he gets the "centre role" in ice carnivals, is the one people notice during skating sessions, etc.
5. More sought after. Due to the lack of boys, he (and we) have had a lot of skating mums and their daughters being overly friendly, as they hunt for that elusive dance or pairs partner. It's a lot of pressure for a young boy, when a little girl tells him that her "only dream" is to skate dance, and she's wanted it for her whole life ...
6. Less competition. In some competitions, he's got flights of 1, 2 skaters, or none, where girls at the same level have large flights. This could mean an easy win or medal (which can be demoralizing); or looking totally out of place when the only other skater is much stronger - !
7. Sometimes, not always, different expectations for testing: some judges have this 'boy margin' which means that a skill, jump, dance can be a little less refined and still passable - not all of them do.
8. Friends who don't 'get it': because it's not a common interest, they can't relate to it, so, it's hard for his friends to understand why a great Ina Bauer is momentous!
9. Less skaters to compare himself to. Because of the lack of boys at his level (he's competitive) - he doesn't get to see daily kids at his level skating, landing jumps, and thus doesn't have a frame of reference to measure himself against.
10. As parents: we've grown used to having parents question our judgement and sanity for 'letting that boy of your skate; dont'cha know what he's going to turn out to be'; grown used to being quizzed by honestly curious parents who haven't seen a boy figureskate before, and that's a pleasure, because honest interest is good; grown used to, see above, having moms and daughters being our "new best friends" ... until they realize that we're not buying it, and that it's the coach who makes that decision (and she's scary as h*ll); and that we're going to have to deal with the loneliness, harassment, etc., noted above.

Do we regret his choice? No, because he loves to skate and he gets a lot out of it; are we frustrated over some of the negative baggage that comes with boys in skating? Sure are - !

What else. Yes, boys are wired differently than girls, IMHO; we needed to find a coach who understands boy mentality, and also boy physicality (puberty for boys is very different than puberty for girls) for him to be able to work comfortably and effectively.

Boys range in mental and emotional and physical differences just like girls do; some boys are wilder than girls, some are more controlled, although more the former than the latter. The ones that we see are more likely to be risktakers. They're also often mentally tougher; the ones that stick it out are able to overcome the above issues, many quit because they can't.

We do know that there are places where boys are common on the ice ... and that would be nice -

sorry for the long post, and please remember this is OUR perspective in our region (we're Canadian) - and I hope that every other boy doesn't encounter any of the challenges listed above.

I have a son who is 7 and just moved up to Basic 4, so it's good to know all of this. His skating style currently is a lot like Carolina Kostner -- he has a lot of speed and power but when he loses control he wipes out in very spectacular passion.

I take him to Stars on Ice every year and I really appreciate all the great male skaters in the show -- both in singles and pairs. Seeing them skate in the show and the reactions they get from the audience is a great motivation for him. We are also very lucky to have some great elite-level competitive male skating role models in our area that he has been able to meet, talk to, and watch skate. I'm not sure how much longer he'll love skating, but I'm glad that he has such a great support system in place if he decides to continue.

I find the stereotypical masculine point of view really saddening.

I'm 27 and own a pair of hockey skates as do some of my friends who recreationally skate just happy to go in large circles around the rink. Upon mentioning that I will be investing in a pair of figure skates the immature morons began with all the gay comments they could muster. Is it really too much to understand that some people just want to be able to do things like this. I have no interest in cliched sports such as football and rugby wheras I am interested in one day being able to land an axel, that doesn't mean I'm any less of a man. And for the people that are gay and into ice skating, what's wrong with that. Oh the ignorance of some people really gets me down some times.

Rant over

Oh and for the record, we've just changed my 4 year old sons hockey skates for figure skates because he can balance easier and is more confident.

Because of the low numbers of boys in the sport, you may want to build yourself a mini-support group of other parents of boys in the sport.

Keep track of who's doing which competitions at what level, etc. That way, with a bit of planning, the kids will get some competition (rather than just skating an exhibition/critique or against the book) before doing events like qualifying competitions.

It also gives you a resource to discuss issues like peer pressure and harassment (physical or verbal). Probably most parents of male figure skaters have had similar issues/challenges.

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It's interesting that here in the UK, where there is far less perception that male figure skaters must be gay (although some are, I think the majority are not!), we have far more elite male skaters than elite women - there were only three Senior Ladies in our National Championships this year, but six or seven Senior Men!

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

Is that not because we've got more of a track record in figure skating than in Hockey? (not that we've got much of a record in either).

I do find it very interesting that a lot of the really young boys I know who figure skate have parents who make sure that they have a male coach for a male role model to make it "cool" to skate. Then again, one of those coaches takes the club group class and is trying to make them think that ballet is "cool". Interestingly one of the teenage boys makes the rest think it's quite good as he's keen to see how far he can progress before he goes to university in a year or so's time.

This is the crux of the difference, for me. A boy who sticks it out past 13 or so will tend to go all the way (competitive and career), because he is mentally tougher and more focussed than the equivalent girl.

I found a bit of the same when I started to skate at the age of 23. I was in the armed forces but curiously, it was the civillian people that I got snidey comments from as opposed to the people from my unit. They didn't bat an eyelid about it apart from one guy who I think was probably over compensating!!!! The other area of my life is horses and the male/female ratio is very similar in that world. There does seem to be a greater perception of it being something that girls do as opposed to guys but I have rarely had any comments where I have had to defend my sexuality, which is straight. There does seem to be more tolerance in the UK for stuff like that apart from a small minority who are ignorant to anything that doesn't fit their own view of how things are in their little world.

Some people attribute this to the fact that so many girls now prefer to Solo Dance to high level Free, and said people even seem to think that this is a valid reason to abolish Solo Dance (thinks: WOT???!!! Just cos it's so successful ?!!!!).

Seems that Solo Dance (competition and testing) presses the right buttons for girls more than Free Skating does. Apparently, a lot of girls can't be bothered with pounding away at the jumps all day, and prefer to be working on spins, steps, speed and flow, artistry and presentation.

And even if a girl is aiming for a career in shows, she will not necessarily need triple jumps for this, even as a soloist.

Going OT here for a sec: this is very common for beginning skaters. If he decides at some point he wants to switch back to his hockey skates, the change is usually more painless than most people would have you believe.

Carry on

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Well it's what I'm doing as soon as I get paid, I have hockeys at the moment that I just am not as comfortable on while learning three turns and backwards crossovers so will be getting some figures.

We started allowing ethan to use the rentals from the rink and his waddling turned into small skating with some proper weight transfer and gliding. He now has some cute little black figure skates and they also suit his figure more than big chunky hockey skates.

I myself find that using figure skates is not much different from my hockeys, lack a little of the speed that I can get with hockeys but the rest is just the same and I have better balance and confidence as a bonus.

Back on topic, if my son decides when he's older he wanted to get into figure skating I would support him fully and you'd probably find me on the rink with him

Both my kids skated - a boy and a girl.

The advantages to being a boy:
Jumps came easier as he had more strength to jump (also had more natural talent but that aside the extra strength played a part)

He was always guaranteed a part in any club shows/panto etc with more chances for boys of principal roles.

More or less guaranteed a medal in any comp as rarely more than 3 entrants while daughter could skate just as well but find herself bottom of 16 or so.

if older - plenty of opportunity to find a girlfriend if so inclined!

Plenty of opportunities to find a partner for dance or pairs if you want to try it. My kids skated pairs together for a while.

Disadvantages:
Fewer boys to compete against so less need to push yourself can make you less competitive.

On starting secondary school - lots of teasing. It is still thought of as a girly activity even in UK. Close friends accepted it - others made fun. This diminished after some of them came to a public session following a patch and saw him in lesson jumping and spinning which they then thought was cool as they saw how difficult it was. He also played squash and football for school teams so that helped.

Pressure from girls and coaches who want you to partner them/their pupils especially in dance.

Dad worked in Canada and was ribbed mercilessly about allowing his son to do figure skating rather than hockey.

Less chance of finding second hand equipment - athough there is less competition for it if you do find it.

More chance of getting into professional shows later on at a lower standard than the girls.

Son gave up at 14 when he discovered the guitar instead and then his coach left anyway so he gave it up completely. Daughter still skates.

I think the experience was a valuable one for him.

This is an interesting thread. My son just started FS1 and has already received some interest from higher level skaters looking for a pairs partner. Pairs skating is the last thing on his mind.

Wow, I have a son that skates freestyle,pairs,and ice dances. We have lots of boys at our rink as well as 5 or 6 male coaches so we have great role models for these kids. No one at the rink teases these boys, maybe at school but these kids love to skate and are very focused , smart and hard working boys. For the most part they love being the center of attention to all the girls. As my son is approaching puberty he definitely sees the advantage of being one of the few boys among lots of girls. Gosh I don't know why more boys don't figure skate! Except for the fact that it is one of the hardest sports to do and it takes much more focus and practice and talent then almost any sport I can think of. You know what they say if figure skating were easy they would call it hockey !!!!!!!

Here in central Canada (where you can't swing a dead cat without hitting half a hockey team!) male skaters are so rare we have to import them from other parts of the country for test days!

I was talking to a young man last summer (mid-20's) who used to figure skate and asking him about his experience as a male skater. (He was fairly good and used to partner a lot.)

He said the worst was the ribbing he took from his peers until he went to his high school prom with FOUR girls (skaters). His friends shut up after that

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Dianne
(A.O.S.S.? Got it BAD! )

And again OT -

Thank you! I teach Learn To Skate and it is absolutely true that figure skates are easier to learn in than hockey skates. One poor little tyke was put in his own hockey skates from the start, and they were not beginner style, but really rockered. The poor little thing spent all his time either falling or lying on the ice. His mom was a nut job and insisted that he wear those skates (I'm only a coach, what would I know?). Months later he is still at it only because of pushy parents and various bribes, but he still is not skating on his own.

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I've had two skating, one still in it but not competitive, just trying to work through skills once or twice a week for fun. I still see one of our freeskate shirts around at competitions, we got it used from someone (who ended up being a senior national skater in the 90's) and once we out grew it, it went onwards to fit some other 7 year old boy. I figure when I'm 80 and check out a competition, I'll still see that shirt. This is an example though, of what a small world boys skating is. They all know each other, we pass off costumes to each other, and it is a completely different atmosphere at competition, until about juvenile, then it's all about the jumps. Someone asked me just last week if my son had outgrown his pants yet

Uh, all my kids, who all have figure skated, are awesome hockey players. We don't have a problem with teasing. However we didn't do ice dance, have fruity music or wear gay costumes. I'm quoting my 16 year old exactly by the way who is sitting here, saying that, so don't jump on me for saying gay.

Well, "gay" in teenspeak often just means "lame" - or so I've been told.

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When we do the bio's for skating competitions or ice shows, we mention the martial arts and baseball, we don't mention the ballroom dance lessons that he takes to help improve his form and movement. Why? Because we don't need the s######ing and snickering that would ensue. Of course, if we let the little guy, he could flatten them ... he can now do takedowns on 6 foot tall guys, but, that's because he had the crap beaten out of him at one point because he was an 'ice princess'.

Re the gay costume: that's often a problem for the young boys. There are boys that are put into spandex body suits, sequins, feathers, rhinestones, etc etc etc; and it does feed into the whole issue of - well.

But, tricking out a 6 or 10 year old like Johnny Weir (and yes, I've seen it done) - why would a parent do it - ? or a coach? We want MORE boys in the sport, not less, and frankly, the only thing my son has ever been directive about with his coach is that he will NOT wear any costume that would be considered less than masculine (and his father and I concur).

If more boys and their parents can see how athletic, difficult and challenging the sport can be (my son is a speed and risk junky, and didn't find enough opportunities to injure himself in hockey - !) we would see more boys involved. The kids who used to think it was less than athletic are now stopped cold by the number of pushups, situps, etc my guy can do, and by the level of cardio fitness that he has ... and the muscle development from the off-ice.

uh huh, I think that's what he means. We definitely pick on the lame costumes that look like the kid was dressed against his will.

By the way, his double toe is sick.


I have this theory, and haven't been proven wrong yet, is that, boys who are in figure skating have a female relative in the sport. Either a mother who skated and wants their kids to skate or a sister who is in the sport.

Okay, OT soapbox here...I just wish people (in general, not directed at anyone on this board) would say what they mean...if you mean that something is stupid, say that it is stupid (or lame, or whatever)....because equating my friends who are gay with being stupid just doesn't work for me...it's the same as using the word "retarded" to mean stupid...I hear this over and over and over again among the students I work with and in the general public....

Okay, off of my soapbox...

Gay originally meant "happy and lively" so that fits into the original sentence too. (Apt description of some ice dance/skating costumes - remember the bee?) I don't understand why teens use that term, though. After all the money we spend in schools and social programs teaching them about acceptance and kindness, they decide to use THAT word in a derogatory way? Or did the outreach programs CREATE the "cool" aura around using the word? Hmmm....*goes off to ponder*

I am amazed at how many boys are involved in figure skating in North Carolina as compared to New York.
I know about 12 boys at two rinks down here; the NY number was less than half.

It all comes from the parents' attitudes. In this area, we have many open-minded, progressive parents who are willing to discuss things and respect the teachers. In NYC, most of the parents were completely opposed to having their son do anything BUT hockey and the suggestion of starting on figure skates was appalling to them. Somehow, they believed THE SKATES made their son a loser. LTS was just a means to get the boy into the hockey clinic. The major exceptions were intelligent parents or european immigrant-parents. The culture in Europe, in all countries, was that figure skating was a sport for anyone, on par with hockey; there was no stigma.

BTW, in NYC, most parents would only allow their daughters to take LTS and figure skating classes. I had several very unhappy girls in group lessons who really wanted to play hockey. Two or three had older brothers that were hockey players, so they knew what the sport was like. They eventually switched over and were happy as clams.

I agree -- I've mentioned to several board members via PM that "retarded" is a word many people avoid using because it's such an insult. Most people use "mentally challenged" because "retarded" has such negative connotations.

Most member just didn't realize that times have changed, but one took major offense at being corrected. Reminds me of my MIL, who used to call people "fat" even to their faces! She didn't stop, even though people told her that she shouldn't use the term. "Why? It's what they are! That's the correct word." Her family rolled their eyes and let it go...until someone new to the family took offense one day and lit into her - suddenly she learned all new euphemisms. lol

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