I really think this is one of those... it depends on what is right for her and your family.
I can tell you at age 5, my daughter did understand that she was with older ,bigger kids. She did understand we wanted her to do her best, and that was all we could ask of her.Its a lesson I think they should learn early IF they want to compete . Everyone cant win and everyone doesnt win. Its that simple.
At age 5 1/2 or so, My daughter was in a comp and had no other skaters with her. Her coach would rather her skater with someone than alone.We asked her if she wanted to skate alone or move up a level. If she moved up a level, it would put her with a 9 year old she was friends with. We did say, if you move up, you know... will place before you. She is older and has been skating longer. Since she doesnt care about the placements, she said she wanted to move up.We even talked to the other skaters mom and said the same thing.
We were all suprised when she placed first
We have seen a few tweens meltdown when they lose to a younger skater. That is why we dont want them to worry about beating anyone, just do the best they can and have fun!
YMMV but its worked for us.

"I told my DD who is 9 yr old now that as long as she skates her best, beat her old performance, she is champion in everybody's heart."

First I'd like to say that your skater won't always skate their best nor are they even likely to frequently beat their last performance, at least not at higher levels. Just let them know how much you value any effort they make and try your best to enjoy each skate they have for it's own sake. It's funny but this whole topic just came up today not only for my skater but for her friend as well. We have a huge competition this weekend. My skater will skate Novice jumps as one of her events, which is up one level. Her coach warned that there were some big jumpers in the group. I replied that it didn't matter in the least. My daughter has won against much tougher skaters and lost to skaters that were way below her normal ability. That's skating folks! Sometimes she's incredibly artistic but blows her jumps. Other times she jumps and spins like crazy but doesn't smile until the end. Can you guess which time I'm the most proud? Don't warn your skater ever! Just love them unconditionally and tell them they're your winner as long as they smile, as long as they try. This will get you through the ups, downs, growth spurts, fevers, late arrivals, hormones, doubts, fears, and God willing, victories. The only regret I have in looking back at the old tapes is taking it so seriously that I didn't enjoy how incredibly gutsy and precious she was. My moans when she slipped on a backwards cross-over sound so ridiculous now! Cheer loud and proud and forget the mistakes.

OK, you know, when I was 5 years old I wasn't competing much in anything. However we did play with older girls outside in school breaks and we did do running who was fastest or jumping who was highest etc. Just organising it ourselves you know.
And I figured out very fast there was no ways to beat older kids in that.

I was upset every time anyway, but not to the point of tears cuz I'd come to expect it.

So my question is, does your child play outside with older kids?

I think there are two different things we are talking about here. For us,

1. We told our DD that no matter what happens what she did, we would always love her for being our darling daughter. We love her for who she is. That is why she always welcome to talk with us, to share her moments with us.

2. Working ethic - effort. It is never too early to teach kids that they should possess a good working ethic - work hard, be honest. It will do kids no good if parents or adults keep telling kids good things about them, avoiding telling them the reality. No matter what they grow into, any professionals, they should train to have tough mind, be able to face the fact, even sometimes the fact is painful. The reality is the world is not always that sweet and pure that most parents would like to present to their precious kids. We can not protect them forever. However, if we can teach them how to be a good citizen, a strong mind person, these would stay with them lifetime.

As parents, we value our kids' efforts way much more than the results. As long as they try their best, she is champion in our heart. Performance again is more surface value. If they overcome all negative odds, demonstrate their strong wills, even the performance might not be the best, however, their inner strength will win all our hearts.

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"Become the change you want to see in the world. Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - Mahatma Gandhi

Today turned out better than I expected to be perfectly honest.

Poor kid has been battling the last couple of days with tonsillitis, dull ears and a fever. When her ears are dull it really plays with her balance. Plus the 14 yr old girl missing in the Sydney Harbour Boat Crash (Morgan Innes) is a friend of hers, so it's been a heck of a week for her the poor kid!

I just told her she could only do as best as she could do given she wasn't well and she just needed to try her best.

She came out of it pretty well today, though she did come last (3rd out of 3). She didn't mind she came last, she was actually excited that she got a medal (her other awards are trophies) so I think the novelty of that softened the blow for her.

I'm amazed at how resilient she is sometimes. Sometimes she just blows me away with how mature she can be - others, she astonishes me by acting her real age ...

I just hope that today was a day she will remember where she came last, but still had fun, and that no matter what happens, she can still skate, when her friend can't

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AW1
mum to Miss Lil (6yrs old)
mum to be to #2 due in March 08

haha yeah she plays outside with older kids. She's in first grade, but in a composite class, so is always with older kids. The next oldest kids in our family are 9 and 12, and she plays with them all the time. She still gets upset about them beating her though

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AW1
mum to Miss Lil (6yrs old)
mum to be to #2 due in March 08

But not crying for days. Maybe you can use that.

No and I didn't say she cried for days. She cried for hours last time.

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AW1
mum to Miss Lil (6yrs old)
mum to be to #2 due in March 08

If she's anything like my daughter who is almost 17 and still like that - a lot of that could be just stress and being tired so that even if she won, if you looked at her crosseyed the waterworks would be unleased.

j

Oh and about your quote....I skated long before my daughter took it up serously at 11. I tested my pre-bronze fs and she her pre-pre fs on the same ice at the same time five years ago. She's ready to test novice...and I'm still at pre bronze. Oh well

j

It's not just children who do that - I'm exactly the same post-competition. Chocolate helps! As, indeed, does a hip-flask, but you can't offer a kid a hip-flask, only chocolate.

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

Chocolate? did someone say chocolate? scuse me while I go get some....choc-----o----late!!!

Seriously though I too am the same sometimes for a week after.

Didn't we share a hip-flask, last time we were at the same competition?

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Mrs Redboots
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I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!