Here are mine Please post yours again, there were some [color=darkred:3147e5ed71][size=18:3147e5ed71]CLASSICS[/size:3147e5ed71][/color:3147e5ed71] LOL

That sit spin was SO fast that I could count every eyelash"

"Your jumps were SO good yesterday, today you look like a whale trying to get out of the sea"

"Take it towards the barrier, I said TAKE IT TOWARDS THE BARRIER ..... THE BARRIER IS THAT BIG WHITE THING AT THE SIDE OF THE RINK"

"You donkey"

"That spin was SO fast that I could hardly see you move"

"Well, yes, there's hope ..... please note that I DIDN'T say that there was potential!"


L x

__________________

The best whisper is a click

I'll add the ones that I posted on FSworld (if I can remember them!)

on forward crossovers "stop looking around, you're not walking on Broadway"

on axel takeoff "you act as if you're going into space"

on axel landing with toe tapping "you're not in Swan Lake/Nutcracker"

on spiral position(head resting on arm looking sideways) "you're not supposed to fall asleep"

on sitspin(before we changed the arm position) "you look like you're relaxing on a sofa"

just after running into a little girl and going flying "you never been so fast before, why did you have to lose all that speed falling?"

These might not be 100% accurate because they're not so fresh in my memory any more. Will probably add some more after this week's lessons.

Reactions on
Layback-- You look like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant
-- Stop bellydancing and do the spin!
legs in the air of jumps -- your legs were soo far apart I would drive my car through them!
LAndings -- you sound like a baby elephant charging

Dats it for me!
Sarah

I got the dog peeing on a hydrant too! My old coach would say it about the beginning of my scratch spin (among other things...) if my free hip was turned in!

When I was really little and just learning back crossovers, I was told that I had Michael Jackson shoulders, though I was too young to get the reference.

On learning the change foot spin. - "Go pigeon toed. Squat like your peeing in the woods. Keep your shoulders checked. Keep your head up. Keep your weight pressed forward. Stroke and pivot the entry for one entire rev and.........." This isn't a funny saying, but I think it's a hoot that he even said all this and was hopeful I would do it ALL. =-) Miracle believer ain't he?!

I've heard the mack truck comment before too. Must be that they teach this at coach school.

"Your not thinking! THINK!"

"Stop thinking, your thinking too much!"

Chico

__________________
"I truly believe, when God created skating, he patted himself on the back."

"Left outside edge....no LEFT outside edge....your OTHER left!"
On an attempted sit spin-"It looks like you decided the toilet is too cold to sit on."

My coach is European, and so he is often not familiar with American expressions. In my lesson this week, we were working on my backspin, and he commented that it had improved, to which I replied, "See! I've done my homework!" I start to do another backspin when he raises his hands to stop me and says, "What do you mean by 'homework?' You don't do...........you can't do this at home, can you???"

I just burst out laughing!! I was thinking he must be imagining me practicing my backspin in the kitchen, or maybe I had some special secret ice rink installed in my backyard.

"No, coach! 'Homework' means that you gave me something to work on in my last lesson, and I worked on it in practice." He just gave me an "Oh, OK." I'm not sure that he saw the humor in his misunderstanding, but I thought it was funny.

LOL, Ice T! I can completely picture Petr's befuddled look as he tried to figure out what you were talking about!

Thanks 1lutz2klutz!! Ha! Ha!

I like your post too. I can hear Bill saying that one too!

Here's mine from FSW:
"I can describe your problem w/ that axel (or double sal) in two words:
chicken $#!+".

Kay

__________________
Visit my figure skating journal
http://www.skatejournal.com/

First thing isn't a quote, but it was pretty funny,

I landed an axel right in front of my coach (the one I do off ice with), and he stared at me for a few seconds and then got out his wallet and offered it to me!

Also in my lesson we were doing some steps and I was being a bit stubborn about doing the ones I don't like, coach said,

"You only want to do what you like"

I laughed and said yes, and she said,

"You are typical English, so conservative" (she's Russian)

Our coach last Sunday watched Robert and me do the Swing Dance and then said: "The trouble with that was that you could have got a third person between you without tripping them up!"

Mind you, I do know what he means. I watched Robert dancing with another skater at Slough on Thursday, and from the way he was holding her, you would think that either he was afraid she would "do" him for assault, or that I would be jealous.... It's partly because he has his hands the wrong way round - you are supposed to [i:4f2bd9904d]support[/i:4f2bd9904d] the lady with your right hand, and allow your left one to be loosely held, but his right hand and arm hold so wimpishly that you can't help but push him away from you, whereas his left arm is utterly rigid. It does not make for easy partnering.

All the same, that third person would have had to have been extremely skinny.

__________________
Mrs Redboots
~~~~~~~~
I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

Last Thursday...Mistress Coach tells me to do a FI-BI mohawk (my favorite...NOT!!!) She's say "That's good! Now would you mind doing it like you have to go to the bathroom!!!" (She's talking about my free leg being bent on the BI afterwards.)

Cheers,
jazzpants

"Come here, let ME do your hair, I don't want you looking like a Gonk head!" .... where DOES she get them from????

__________________

The best whisper is a click

I think mine must read this thread - he keeps on coming up with classics! Today's was: "It's not the steps, it's the way you do them!"

__________________
Mrs Redboots
~~~~~~~~
I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!

"Don't stretch your free leg, after all we don't want it to look nice now do we? ....... oh, and don't close your feet on the 3turns either we wouldn't want people to think that you can actually DO this dance" .... guess who? she wasn't even teaching me at the time but was STILL eagle-eyed enough to spot my mistakes! Unfortunately I collapsed in a heap of giggles and couldn't carry on

__________________

The best whisper is a click

Madam coach after she was happy with my waltz jump.

"Now you look like a figure skater, not a terrified toad jumping out of the way of an oncoming car"

Coaches, you gotta love 'em.

__________________
Keeping School Figures Alive!!

"Again. Again. Again."

A man of many words, hahahaha

"You maintained your speed throughout your step sequence, that was good. Unfortunately the speed that you maintained was very slow"

__________________

The best whisper is a click

From the secondary coach:

"LEAVE YOUR BRAIN AT HOME!"

"There is gray matter in this building! Take it outside!"

"You just muted your waltz jump! When's it going to explode?"

__________________
All that glitters has a high refractive index.

From my primary coach:

Teaching you backspin these days is like rubbing two sticks to start a fire. Just as you start to see a spark, it blows out and then you rub the sticks again and the match blows out again. My response was "Hmmm? That sounds like my husband last night trying to light up the grill yesterday." (We liked the 4th of July BBQ so much that we decided to go BBQ again the week after. Gives us an excuse to have good BBQ while it's in season.)

I also should mention that he's getting closer still to getting me to do my backspin... who knows... I might luck out and get the backspin this year!!! (YEAH, RIGHT!!!!)

Cheers,
jazzpants

(Edited to correct the saying...not quite matches... it was with two wooden sticks!!!)

Hey Figureskates, what was the one about the demented preying mantis? Was that your coach?

[quote:29203a3f38="CanAmSk8ter"]Hey Figureskates, what was the one about the demented preying mantis? Was that your coach?[/quote:29203a3f38]
Well, it wasn't mine. And nor was the coach who told at least two of her skaters that "they looked like a constipated duck!" The funny thing was that the two skaters, then unknown to each other, were both on the Usenet group that various of us here hang out on - and recognised that the second skater must now be being trained by the first skater's former coach! And, indeed, that was what was happening, said coach (and the first skater) having moved to new rinks in the interim.

(Mind you, I don't think it is true of the second skater, having seen him skate since the comment was made, but it certainly [i:29203a3f38]can[/i:29203a3f38] be true of the first one, who now skates at the same rink as I do!)

__________________
Mrs Redboots
~~~~~~~~
I love my computer because my friends live in it!
Ice dancers have lovely big curves!