In a slump...how to cope? (long)

[Stormy]

So lately, probably for the past three weeks or so, my enjoyment of skating is rapidly declining. I feel like my jumps aren't improving at all, although my Intermediate Moves are, slowly. I know there are ups and downs in skating all the time, and I can totally handle that. However, my coach has been becoming increasingly frustrated and at times downright angry with me for not being able to do certain moves, specifically axels and two of the Intermediate patterns. For the last three lessons I've been at the verge of tears because of her. She's also been increasingly socializing with the other coaches while I'm in lesson with her and I find her not watching what I'm doing. I had a spectacular fall (one of the flying off your feet and skidding about 10 feet kind) the other day trying to avoid a kid who wasn't watching where she was going, and she didn't even see!!
Today she actually snapped at me when I was having trouble with the LFO-RFI brackets, "This is so easy, why can't you do this?" How can I answer that? I mean, I WILL get it with practice.
I feel bad that I'm not skating well, but getting angry with me dosen't do any good. I spend so much money on skating that I could be using to save for a house and I feel like I'm getting nowhere and with no support anymore. I actually said to a couple of my friends right before I left the rink this morning "I hate this, and I want to quit." And I have been feeling more like that lately. I don't know if I should take some time off, or wait it out, or what!
Now, I know you'll all say, talk to my coach, but she isn't the easiest to talk to!! We usually have a great time in lessons but it just seems like she dosen't care to teach me anymore. Which, honestly, is fine, I just want to know. Don't waste my money or time by not paying attention in my lessons.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What do you all do when you're in a bad slump? :cry:

[Figureskates]

Just a long shot, how do you feel the rest of the time?

Last summer I had a 2 week period just like you described. Turned out that I was coming down with Lyme Disease which went full symptom about two weeks later. Consider the possibility of some physical ailment that may be the cause of your problems.

Just a thought.

[sk8er1964]

Have you considered a coaching change? As much as you may like your coach, sometimes the coach/student relationship gets stale and it is time to move on. From your post, it sounds that you may be more disallusioned with your coach than you are with your skating.

To contrast what you have said about your lessons - I love my lessons. I take an hour a week and hate it when they are over. I am having a terrible time with my Intermediate brackets, and my coach knows it. However, he is encouraging about them, giving me corrections etc. He is also pushing me hard on the power circles, which he knows are not my favorites either. Even though he pushes me, I have never felt that I didn't have his entire attention, and I have never felt counter-productive pressure from him.

I know it's hard to consider leaving a coach, but maybe you should think about it as it relates to your enjoyment of the sport. JMO - hope it doesn't offend :?? .

[Sk8Bunny]

Not to worry, your not the only one who goes thru these 'skating slumps'. I usually go thru about 2 a year, each lasting about week and a half to two weeks. Sometimes I feel like I want to give up, that I am the worst skater ever, and sometimes I feel like a down right failure. BUT... the good thing is, as I have learned from the past, once the 'slump' is over, and it will get over! promise, you usually have really great practices following it. Its like you get so low emotionally and low with your skating that the only way out is to go up with your skating, which will happen! So stick thru it, and you will come out a stronger person! It may help, in the meantime, to keep a journal. Write down what you felt was terrible, and why you thought it was terrible, and after a few days you may be able to see a pattern or something and fix it. Aside from listing the fustrating stuff from practice, pick 10 things that you enjoyed in your day, try to have 5 of those things from skating. Good luck! You can get thru this, we are here to support you!
P.S. the others are right too, you may want to consider a coaching change.

[Chico]

I love skating dearly, most of us do here, but I have experienced slumps like you describe many times. Like many have already mentioned this is pretty normal. You might need a coach change, but maybe you just need to talk to your coach. I used to tell my old coach at times like this that I needed a FUN lesson to put me in a better frame of mind. As for your coach pushing unfavorable skills, it is their job to push us in the areas we are weak. My coach does this too. I admit some days I hate this, but I do understand that I need this. I don't need to be pushed to do the skills I like! When I'm good and work at the dreaded whatever I'm happy that I did. Talk to your coach. Take a few days off. Spend a few days just skating for the joy of it and not progress. Get good sleep. Eat chocolate and good luck.

Chico

[icedancer2]

You have to remember that your coach is working for YOU -- if they are not treating you well, then you have to decide whether you really want to put your resources there or not.

And yes, we all have slumps, but we all have things that are just difficult for us but that we know we can get eventually. Sometimes it is good to look at a move from a different perspective -- like pointing out where the same problem (whatever it is) comes up in other areas of your skating...

Anyway, I think we can all feel for you...:cry: :(

[hehebebury]

Everyone here is correct , we do all get into slumps. Especially adults because our bodies quite frankly are not as young anymore. But your coach should also be recognizing it and helping you get out of it. Some days it helps just to get away from some of the difficult stuff and do a fun and interesting lesson. My coach does these circles called somethig like Annie's Circle which use counters and swings from inside to outside edges. They are great for strenghtening your edges and it gives you something different to focus on. Then going back to where the problem is the next lesson, everything seems a little better.

[Mrs Redboots]

It sounds as though your coach isn't as aware of your needs as s/he should be. Everyone goes through fearful slumps in their skating, it's absolutely a given of the sport. My coach pointed out that actually, each slump is a plateau - you climb to the mountain top, then you come down the other side into what feels like a fearful canyon, but in fact, you are a lot better than you were before you climbed that mountain! He says they are plateaux, not troughs!

I get very depressed on occasion, but I've usually found it's just before a major breakthrough/improvement in my skating. My coach usually realises if I'm totally down and we do something quite different, like figures. And once he made me laugh by saying "You can't possibly give up - you're the only double international gold medallist I've got" (which is true - triple, now :) - but we don't mention it's for interpretive skating for ladies between the ages of 46 and 55!).

Seriously, have a talk with your coach, and if s/he reckons you're not getting anywhere with them, then see about going to someone else. Your coach will probably be able to recommend someone else, and help you ease the transition.

[dooobedooo]

How about spending some time on making up a new artistic program? Guaranteed to cheer you up, and you can put in a tough step sequence to practise when the jumps aren't working.

[96.23??]

I know exactly how you feel.. ( after reading your post I could of sworn that we have the same coach ;) ) I'm not my coaches "star skater" but im not their worse either, But when I do get a lesson with them sometimes it seems I will try something and then after trying it I come back to see them socializing with another coach, even when they always tell me not to socialize with my friends... :(

And when I'm having slumps .. my coach will sometimes get angry too and say things like " youve been working on these so long why cant you get them?" and it sure doesn't help me when they say that... :(

Try taking a break from the things that are frustrating you for a little and then go back to them, that's what helps me the most..

[Lili]

Originally posted by Chico
Talk to your coach. Take a few days off. Spend a few days just skating for the joy of it and not progress. Get good sleep. Eat chocolate and good luck.

Chico

So simple and yet so true. I am just getting over a major slump that lasted about a year. I felt I wasnt progressing and I was very stressed with school. My skating suffered and I didnt want to be at the rink anymore. I took about a month and a half off because I had foot problems, and slowly started getting back into it. I am now looking forward to testing and moving up.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do! :D

[CanAmSk8ter]

Do you think your coach would be receptive to the idea of you taking a couple of lessons with someone else to see if something "clicks" on the moves? Sometimes just having someone else say the same thing a different way can make a difference.

And look at it this way- I passed my Intermediate moves at the end of last summer, and if I can do it, you can do it! I've seen you skate, and honestly I would have guessed you were on Novice. Keep at it- they'll come. Like I said, if I can pass it...

[TreSk8sAZ]

Trust us, we've all been there! Whenever I get down on myself or get annoyed with my progress, I take a day and grab a friend of mine who I'm teaching to skate and we just go and goof off. That way, I can show off a bit since she can't do any of the tricks, and it reignites the fun in the moves. I'm lucky because I have a great coach, and whenever I'm not sure about something I'm doing or she's doing, I can talk to her about it. I'd reccomend just taking five minutes out, even if it's out of a lesson, and explain that you're frustrated with your skating. Then maybe broach the topic that you're feeling neglected during lessons, and if there is some way you can both work to improve the situation. If there's not anything else you can do, as others have suggested you might want to just take a trial lesson or two with another coach. I often find that my coach can tell me the same thing over and over and we both get frustrated, then another coach tells me in a different way and it just clicks. No matter what, I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a good solution!

[skateflo]

Yes, many of us have been in a slump. What concerns me is that your coach is being unsupportive and a good coach knows that everyone has highs, lows, plateaus, and slumps. She should know how to deal with it and help you through it. She is obviously frustrated, but ignoring you during lesson, and being very negative in her comments to you doesn't help your mental attitude in the 'slump' period!

Hard as it may be you really do need to talk with her. No coach should be 'hard' to talk with - it is your money, your goals, your time too! No all coaches are knowlegable about working with adults and see them only as meal tickets. Perhaps her inattentiveness to you during lessons is her way of trying to give you the message that she really isn't interested in teaching you anymore.

I took a 9 month break when I realized that I was skating to please my coach instead of myself (and felt I had failed my coach.) When I restarted it was with very specific guidelines and goals that I wanted from her and left it up to her to decide if she was willing to meet my needs as stated. Things have been much better now.

[vesperholly]

Hey Stormy... how's it been going lately? Any updates? :-)

Jocelyn

[jamie_rae352]

Maybe you could get another coach to give you one lesson every week, it really helps me when a new set of eyes looks at me. Then they can point out a problem your coach may have missed and help you correct it! Also try to go to as many seminars as possible for you. You can learn new ways to improve your skating and learn new moves (A-frame all the way!), and like I said before, you can tell one of the coaches a problem and they can probably help you.

[flippet]

Originally posted by Stormy
However, my coach has been becoming increasingly frustrated and at times downright angry with me for not being able to do certain moves, specifically axels and two of the Intermediate patterns. For the last three lessons I've been at the verge of tears because of her. She's also been increasingly socializing with the other coaches while I'm in lesson with her and I find her not watching what I'm doing.
Today she actually snapped at me when I was having trouble with the LFO-RFI brackets, "This is so easy, why can't you do this?"

A skills plateau (or slump) is no big deal. An impatient, snappish coach is a big deal. How can you possibly perform for someone who's negative, impatient, and overcritical of everything you do? Being snippy is NOT motivating.

It sounds like you need to move on--because it's apparent that your coach is bored with you and what seems, to her, to be a huge lack of progress.

If you think that talking to her may remedy the situation--perhaps she's just not aware of her behavior or how it affects you?--then have a chat. If not, or if you're beyond caring and don't want her as a coach anymore anyway (which is valid), maybe writing a letter explaining that you're terminating your working relationship, and why, might work, especially if you don't want a confrontation.

Just find out if your dissatisfaction is more skating-related or coach-related before you call it quits. I'm willing to bet it's the latter.

Good luck. :)

[Stormy]

Thank you all for your encouraging words. They really have helped. It really is my coach I'm more frustrated with that skating itself, I've found. We've had a few lessons since my last post that have been good, but the last lesson I had she was impatient again and spent another good deal of time talking to another coach. What's a nice way to say "I don't pay you to talk to (coach's name) for an hour!"?? It's very annoying and distracting.
I'm thinking I might want to leave my club altogether and go to a more adult friendly (albeit farther from me) rink. I really am the only competitive adult at my club and it's NOT adult friendly at all. I have to decide soon because club memberships are due pretty much right now!
Still have more thinking to do....but thanks again for the encouragement! :)

[climbsk8]

I'm glad to hear you found the source of your frustration. I have found that it is a good experience for me to work around other adults, even if it means a longer drive. I split my time between three rinks, one of which has a great adult population, and the camaraderie is AMAZING! It has become one of the most important aspects of skating to me.

As for a nice way to tell your coach to focus on you....don't try to be nice. Just tell her plainly that you deserve her full attention. If she can't handle it, get another coach.

BTW, brackets are NOT EASY!!!!! It took me a long time and a lot of work to feel like I wasn't going to DIE on the back-outside ones. Hang in there!

[Stormy]

Well, I actually think I have solved most of my recent problems! :) Since my work hours changed the ONLY time I can have my lessons are 7 AM now. 7 is the most empty session of the day....and one where there's almost no coaches to talk to! :) Today was my first 7 AM lesson and it went great! We had a lot of fun and I skated really well. Hopefully this will be a big turnaround for my skating.
Thanks again for everyone's nice words and advice. It really did help! :D