pair tryout-help me!

[Sk8Bunny]

I finally found someone through the usfsa pairs partner search that is my age, level, etc. He would like me to travel to his rink for a tryout(many states away, unfortunately). Problem is, I dont know how to ask my parents to take me. They know I want to do pairs, and my mom really wants me to try it if I can, but, I dont think they will allow me(and my mom of course) to fly out for a tryout becuase it is, for one thing, expensive for the airfare, and secondly, they will probably think im nuts asking them to travel across country to tryout with someone who may not work. If he lived one state away, im sure they would take me, but were talking the other side of the country here. My parents aren't too involved w/ my skating and dont know much about the sport, so im afraid they wont understand why i need to travel to have a tryout(to them its like, "why not just find a guy here?"- not as easy as it sounds. lol) So please gives me tips on how I can approach them with my wish. I want to sound logical and mature about it(if thats possible, haha) but I want to make them see I really really want to have this tryout. Any advice on how to ask them would be great. Thanks.

[skaternum]

So what is your age and level? My advice to a 10 year old pre-juvenile would be very different from my advice to a 15 year old intermediate. :)

[Sk8Bunny]

Originally posted by skaternum
So what is your age and level? My advice to a 10 year old pre-juvenile would be very different from my advice to a 15 year old intermediate. :)

Im 15, soon to be 16 haha, and at the preliminary/pre-juv level. I think for pairs, we were hoping to compete either juv or intermediate, dont know really. he is 16 already, i believe.

[sk8er1964]

Sk8Bunny, I don't know your age either, but from what I've seen on other sites that you/I post on, you have a good maturity level. I would assume that you are a teenager.

As a parent myself, I often deal with requests from my 8 year old - I have to consider his age, whether his request is spur of the moment or if he has thought about it, and whether he has requested it before. My son plays hockey - at his age I would never consider moving to accomodate his hockey because there excellent programs here - but he doesn't require a partner either.

I guess as a parent I would have to look at the family situation - is it good for the family? Is my child truly able to succeed at this (very tough) sport? Would this be a good move for him/her? Would our family survive? What is more important - a dream of an Olympic Gold or a stable family life and a normal childhood? It's hard as a parent - we want the best for our children - but we don't want to push our ambitions on our kids (except for the skatemoms from h***, but that's a different story).

I'd suggest that you talk frankly with your parents - if you are truly committed to this path. Be prepared for disapointement, however, because sometimes it simply is not economically feasible for something like this to happen. Please don't resent your parents if that is the case.

Wishing you the best of luck - I know from your posts that you love skating and I hope that you can do it the way you want to. If this doesn't work out for you, look for the opportunities that you have - and make the best of them. You might just get your dream anyway!

[kayskate]

Do your parents know you are looking for a partner? Are they presently investing in pair skating lessons? If your parents are already informed, they should be ready to hear that you have a try out. Would you have to move to skate w/ this partner? That may be very difficult for some families to accomodate. Is the partner willing to come to your rink to try out or move to your area? Maybe your parents could have a telephone conversation w/ his parents before the tryout so everyone feels comfortable.

Kay

[Mrs Redboots]

When my daughter was your age, she had a nasty habit of saying things like "I suppose you won't let me do....." whatever-it-was, which invariably led to the response, "You suppose right!" because it annoyed me. I'm sure you never do anything so dreadful, but do remember that you are far more likely to get your parents to listen if you ask outright whether you can go on the trip, and if you can muster all sorts of good arguments as to why your going would be a good idea.

One thing to consider is this: supposing you tried out and you found you and this young man were really, really suited to each other? What would happen then? You can't really expect your parents to up sticks and move across the country so you can train with him. On the other hand, would you be able to stay with this young man's family, at least during the school year (could your parents afford to pay for you to do this; would the young man's parents be willing to take the responsibility?). I can quite see how you'd want to try out, but is there any point in trying out if you can't follow up on it?

It's things like this you need to think through before you broach the subject with your parents. If you can present your arguments in a mature, adult way, without sulking or whining - and be prepared for them to say "No" - then I'm sure they'll listen, really listen, and not say "No" without thinking about it first!

[icechick]

I agree with everything everyone has advised. I'm an adult pair skater who has had several local partners, but am now just skating with my coach who is taking me through my tests. However, I have been corresponding with a guy I met through an internet pair partner search. We've been e-mailing and talking on the phone for over a year and he is finally flying in from the West coast (I live in the South) for a tryout. We've found that we share the same goals, like the same music, styles, "famous" pairs, etc. Still, there's no guarantee that we'll actually get along "in person" or skate together well. Hence, the tryout. He has already started looking for employment in my area but, again, who knows? Anyway, I'd advise you to at least ask your parents and, if they're not agreeable, concentrate on taking lessons and testing up through at least Novice Pairs in order to be more "marketable." You would also be showing your parents that you're serious about skating pairs and, in the meantime, you may also (if you continue your search & your coach helps out with it) find other potential parners who live closer to your home. I know SO MANY girls who have re-located to skate with a particular partner (usually, they live with a local family) only to find that it doesn't work out and they come back home. It's a big step to change your entire life like that, so be sure you're truly commited to pair skating before you take that step. Just my personal advice.....GOOD LUCK!

[CanAmSk8ter]

Is your coach involved with helping you find a partner? If so, I would maybe have your coach discuss the tryout with your parents first.