TashaKat
06-25-2002, 11:22 AM
Pinched from Yahoo icedancers (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/icedancers/) ;)
You know that you're a female dancer when:
1. Your boots have more black marks per square inch than white leather.
2. At the marriage counselor, you spend more time discussing problems with your partner than problems with your spouse.
3. Your spouse doesn't mind you discussing your partner problems with the marriage counselor.
4. You sit for a formal portrait with your skating partner (for the program, of course). The last formal portrait you have with your husband dates back to your wedding.
5. Your significant other is going to Hawaii to play golf and lay in the sun for a week. You are spending the weekend in … Detroit … where you will be attending a dance weekend and will probably never see the sun. You are more excited about your vacation than he is about his.
6. You go on a summer vacation and pack gloves and wool sweaters.
7. Although not a morning person, you never have trouble rolling out of bed at 5 am to make practice.
8. At the end of the week your car looks like a laundry bomb exploded inside.
9. Your husband counts the bruises on your behind as you pass by him to step in the shower.
10. You keep spare shoes, underwear, and nylons at the office in case you forget to bring them with you to the rink and then to work.
11. At work, you manage a team of professionals who are at your beck and call. On the ice, your partner "leads" … or so he thinks!
12. Co-workers who enter your office marvel at the collection of photos on the wall – all of you skating with various men while wearing various glittery/scanty outfits at various dance weekends. (They talk about you in the lunch room.)
13. Your neighbors see you get in the car wearing your glitzy test outfit, complete with false eyelashes, sequins, and illusion fabric, and don't bat an eyelid.
14. You never miss a new guy who steps on the ice, and the first
thing you look for is to see whether he is wearing figure skates.
15. Your closet contains more spandex than wool, cotton, leather, and nylon combined.
16. You justify your shopping sprees by saying, "it's to wear to practice."
17. You have a whole room in your house dedicated to stuffed furry critters your friends have thrown at you over the years.
18. You have turned your basement into a workout room, complete with wall mirrors so you can check out your alignment. You own free weights and a "fit" ball.
19. You are willing to pay $10,000 a season in order to spend a total of 8 minutes on the ice competing for a medal that isn't even real gold.
20. You frequent the "bargain bins" at your local music store, looking for anything that could be used as jive, flamenco, or galop.
21. You own the entire UltraLounge CD collection.
22. While at the movies, you furiously take notes when you hear good music as part of the soundtrack.
23. You wonder if dying your hair bright red would make you "look" more like an ice dancer.
24. You never wear open-toed shoes because you have ugly skaters' feet!
25. You own a tube of glitter gel and several hair nets.
26. You know how to tie your partner's bow tie.
27. TJ Maxx is your one-stop shop for affordable practice wear!
28. You learn how to sew just so you can make the competition dresses you dream up.
29. You are shopping for swimwear and you think, "if I could only put a skirt on it, that one-piece would be perfect to skate in!"
30. You have tied on a wrap skirt and actually skated in your swimsuit.
You know that you're a male dancer when:
1. You have every color skating pants as long as they are all in black!
2. You size up a woman by how well she can hold her edges and how neat her Choctaws are.
3. You have spent over $6,000 to learn the perfect three turn and you expect to pay even more, believing that someday you will get there.
4. You never think it is odd for a man to wear tights under his skating pants.
5. You consider the rink's restroom to be your official dressing room.
6. Getting dressed for work in a dirty rink restroom is a daily routine for you.
7. Your description of an ideal woman is one who is an easy lift!
8. You are popular among women no matter how weird or ugly you are.
9. You know that if you can't be a gentleman around women you can always fall back on playing hockey.
10. You readily admit that every time your partner takes a fall it is your fault.
11. You know that every time you take a fall it too is your fault!
12. Even the ugliest skating dress gets a compliment from you if the person who is wearing it happens to be dancing with you.
13. You can smell a rink from ten miles away.
14. You have met half of your best friends at dance weekends.
15. You keep an accurate inventory of toe pick scars on your shins.
16. You know what a false hair bun is even though you have never worn one yourself!
17. In the bottom of your skating bag there are at least 10 pieces of old Bunga Pads that haven't been used for several years.
18. When your wife is looking for you she calls the rink first, then your office, before trying home.
19. You know when not to eat garlic and onion.
20. You haven't a clue who is the Oakland Raiders quarterback, but you know how to spell Tchernychev and you even know who he is.
21. (For those who have gone through a partner or two already!) You know that you would be dog meat if when introducing your partner to someone you referred to her as your "current" partner.
22. You save the piece of fine Belgian chocolate that someone gave you,
because you know it can serve as an effective peace offering when you are in the doghouse with your partner.
23. You identify a good friend as "the woman who got you through your European Waltz."
24. Your biggest goal in life is to turn a twizzle as well as your partner does!
25. You own certain ridiculous clothing items that wearing them can get you arrested unless you wore them at a competition or dance tests.
26. You routinely get calls from your partner to be reminded of what to wear at the next social dance session.
27. At the dance session...You are used to being shared by women whether or not you like the idea.
28. Your first question about the city you are about to visit: "Is there a rink?" Your second question: "do they offer dance sessions?"
29. Powerbar and chocolate are on your list of essential food items.
30. A "straight extension" has a whole different meaning to you!
You know that you're a female dancer when:
1. Your boots have more black marks per square inch than white leather.
2. At the marriage counselor, you spend more time discussing problems with your partner than problems with your spouse.
3. Your spouse doesn't mind you discussing your partner problems with the marriage counselor.
4. You sit for a formal portrait with your skating partner (for the program, of course). The last formal portrait you have with your husband dates back to your wedding.
5. Your significant other is going to Hawaii to play golf and lay in the sun for a week. You are spending the weekend in … Detroit … where you will be attending a dance weekend and will probably never see the sun. You are more excited about your vacation than he is about his.
6. You go on a summer vacation and pack gloves and wool sweaters.
7. Although not a morning person, you never have trouble rolling out of bed at 5 am to make practice.
8. At the end of the week your car looks like a laundry bomb exploded inside.
9. Your husband counts the bruises on your behind as you pass by him to step in the shower.
10. You keep spare shoes, underwear, and nylons at the office in case you forget to bring them with you to the rink and then to work.
11. At work, you manage a team of professionals who are at your beck and call. On the ice, your partner "leads" … or so he thinks!
12. Co-workers who enter your office marvel at the collection of photos on the wall – all of you skating with various men while wearing various glittery/scanty outfits at various dance weekends. (They talk about you in the lunch room.)
13. Your neighbors see you get in the car wearing your glitzy test outfit, complete with false eyelashes, sequins, and illusion fabric, and don't bat an eyelid.
14. You never miss a new guy who steps on the ice, and the first
thing you look for is to see whether he is wearing figure skates.
15. Your closet contains more spandex than wool, cotton, leather, and nylon combined.
16. You justify your shopping sprees by saying, "it's to wear to practice."
17. You have a whole room in your house dedicated to stuffed furry critters your friends have thrown at you over the years.
18. You have turned your basement into a workout room, complete with wall mirrors so you can check out your alignment. You own free weights and a "fit" ball.
19. You are willing to pay $10,000 a season in order to spend a total of 8 minutes on the ice competing for a medal that isn't even real gold.
20. You frequent the "bargain bins" at your local music store, looking for anything that could be used as jive, flamenco, or galop.
21. You own the entire UltraLounge CD collection.
22. While at the movies, you furiously take notes when you hear good music as part of the soundtrack.
23. You wonder if dying your hair bright red would make you "look" more like an ice dancer.
24. You never wear open-toed shoes because you have ugly skaters' feet!
25. You own a tube of glitter gel and several hair nets.
26. You know how to tie your partner's bow tie.
27. TJ Maxx is your one-stop shop for affordable practice wear!
28. You learn how to sew just so you can make the competition dresses you dream up.
29. You are shopping for swimwear and you think, "if I could only put a skirt on it, that one-piece would be perfect to skate in!"
30. You have tied on a wrap skirt and actually skated in your swimsuit.
You know that you're a male dancer when:
1. You have every color skating pants as long as they are all in black!
2. You size up a woman by how well she can hold her edges and how neat her Choctaws are.
3. You have spent over $6,000 to learn the perfect three turn and you expect to pay even more, believing that someday you will get there.
4. You never think it is odd for a man to wear tights under his skating pants.
5. You consider the rink's restroom to be your official dressing room.
6. Getting dressed for work in a dirty rink restroom is a daily routine for you.
7. Your description of an ideal woman is one who is an easy lift!
8. You are popular among women no matter how weird or ugly you are.
9. You know that if you can't be a gentleman around women you can always fall back on playing hockey.
10. You readily admit that every time your partner takes a fall it is your fault.
11. You know that every time you take a fall it too is your fault!
12. Even the ugliest skating dress gets a compliment from you if the person who is wearing it happens to be dancing with you.
13. You can smell a rink from ten miles away.
14. You have met half of your best friends at dance weekends.
15. You keep an accurate inventory of toe pick scars on your shins.
16. You know what a false hair bun is even though you have never worn one yourself!
17. In the bottom of your skating bag there are at least 10 pieces of old Bunga Pads that haven't been used for several years.
18. When your wife is looking for you she calls the rink first, then your office, before trying home.
19. You know when not to eat garlic and onion.
20. You haven't a clue who is the Oakland Raiders quarterback, but you know how to spell Tchernychev and you even know who he is.
21. (For those who have gone through a partner or two already!) You know that you would be dog meat if when introducing your partner to someone you referred to her as your "current" partner.
22. You save the piece of fine Belgian chocolate that someone gave you,
because you know it can serve as an effective peace offering when you are in the doghouse with your partner.
23. You identify a good friend as "the woman who got you through your European Waltz."
24. Your biggest goal in life is to turn a twizzle as well as your partner does!
25. You own certain ridiculous clothing items that wearing them can get you arrested unless you wore them at a competition or dance tests.
26. You routinely get calls from your partner to be reminded of what to wear at the next social dance session.
27. At the dance session...You are used to being shared by women whether or not you like the idea.
28. Your first question about the city you are about to visit: "Is there a rink?" Your second question: "do they offer dance sessions?"
29. Powerbar and chocolate are on your list of essential food items.
30. A "straight extension" has a whole different meaning to you!