Proud and jealous at the same time...

[Schmeck]

My daughters and I are Basic Skills skaters - Piglet is on Basic 6, and Icy and I are on FS2.

While it is really fun to be skating with my girls, I've found that I'm getting frustrated with my lack of progress, and Icy's incredible speed of progress.

I've been on FS2 for this entire year (blasted backspin!), while Icy has passed Basic 8, FS1, and is more than half way through FS2. She's already got a salchow, loop and a waltz/toe, waltz/salchow, waltz/loop...

She is having a 25 minute private lesson each week, and did synchro (youth intro) last year, which was a wonderful experience for her.

I'm so proud of her accomplishments, but I'm a little jealous too. :oops: Sometimes I just want to quit when she does an element after being shown it just once, while it takes me weeks (and sometimes months, even a year...) to pass the same thing.

Has anyone else been passed by their skating child, and how did you handle it?

Schmeck

PS - I'm not insanely jealous of her, nothing unhealthy, just a little frustrated with myself, and needing some sympathy! ;)

[backspin]

Well, I don't have kids myself, but I can't tell you how many kids I've had in Learn to Skate classes, who, a year later, I'm asking, "could you show me how you do your sit spin one more time?"

Most noteable case was a little girl in pre-alpha, who was learning to do forward pumps on a cirle, etc. She learned really fast & sometimes I'd show her more advanced things during their practice time, like forward crossovers. Well she had a great talent, rocketed forward, & it wasn't 6 months later that I watched in amazement as she worked on double flip & double loop. She did well last year in competition & we may be hearing about her for a long time to come! (of course then I can brag that *I* taught her how to skate!!) :mrgreen:

What I've found though, is regardless of a kid's abilities, they have been unfailingly respectful and friendly, and still seem to look up to me even though next to them I'm pretty pathetic!

I understand your feelings but remember skating isn't to compete against others (& certainly not the children!), but to measure your progress against yourself & to make sure you're still having fun! That's what really counts here.

[garyc254]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm only laughing because I went through the same type of feelings last year. Not with my own kids since they don't skate, but with the kids at the rinks I skate at.

I've watched beginner skaters at their first lessons only to find that six months later, they have far surpassed my limited skills.


So I put it into perspective:

They are younger and therefore their muscles will do things mine won't anymore.

They are closer to the ice and don't have as far to fall.

They heal faster from injury and muscle strains.

If they break something they miss a few days of school, while I would be struggling to get the job done at work.

They haven't learned "fear" yet.

If they fall and get bruised, mom or dad will drive them home and take care of them. I have to drive myself and take care of my own wounds.


Yeah, I'm a little bit jealous of the kids, but I have a whole lot of reasons that I'm going to take my time to learn new elements. If they pass by me in skill levels, I'll just applaud them from near the boards. :lol:

[Elsy2]

Oh my gosh...I'm laughing too. Sure I've felt the same way! Not only with my daughter but several other adults who are younger and learn faster. My daughter flew by me skill-wise so fast it made my head spin (too bad the rest of me couldn't spin worth a darn for a long time.....sigh...) Initally I was jealous that the elements came so easily for her, but I had to quickly put these feelings behind me and concentrate on my own goals, and be happy about what I could achieve.

Before long the skill gap between us was so wide, it was rediculous to even think I could keep up in any way. I think the frustration you feel is very normal....so I do sympathize with you, and applaud you at the same time for going out there and learning a very difficult sport. I think it's great when parents of skaters go out and skate too!

[Figureskates]

I can relate!!!

I have a 11-year old niece who I introduced to the sport about 3 years ago and now she can skate rings around her uncle.

She passed her preliminarys in mid April. She came to my rink where she has lessons with my coach every two weeks. My coach showed her all the pre-Juv moves. At the end of her lesson she could do almost all the patterns...almost flawlessly. Two weeks later she came back for another lesson and my coach sez she could pass her pre-Juvs if she took them today.

Meanwhile, back in the geriatric ward, uncle is still trying to get the alternating 3-turns down.

Jealous? not really. Proud? you bet!! I just have to realize that I have 46 years on her and the old frame cannot do what it did a half a century ago. I m just grateful that I can at least skate.

[batikat]

I can relate to this too. The skating was my idea - I'd always wanted to skate since I was a little girl but never had an opportunity - no money and nearest rink a 2 hour drive away. I went once with the Girl Guides on a trip when I was 14. Loved it but didn't set foot on ice again til I was 36.

I dragged my then 8 year old daughter along for moral support. I stuggled to keep up with her in the basic rink courses and my son (then 10) not only skipped the first level completely but kept getting moved up and finished way before me.

They are both way better than me now - my son despite missing many months of skating through illness is doing doubles with relative ease and picks up steps and Field moves almost instantly. Together they competed this year in Pairs at the UK Novice Championships.

It is definitely frustrating knowing that I am unlikely ever to progress even as far as an axel no matter how many years I skate for but it has been great watching the kids develop into good skaters. I have taken up ice dance so that I can have something in which I don't have to compare myself to them as they don't do dance at all.

I can't help thinking about what might have been had there been an opportunity for me to skate as a child but I am very proud of my kids acheivements. My problem is that while my daughter is still enthusiastic my son has many other interests and is not bothered to continue, despite the fact that he has a natural talent for it. I'd like him to continue but dont' know whether to push it or not. It seems such a shame to waste that talent when I would give anything to have it myself.
But I dont' want to be someone who tries to live out their dreams through their kids!
:D

[icechick]

I've been skating for 6 years and don't even have any clean doubles. My daughter started slightly earlier than I and got her axel in 3 weeks and, when she quit 2 years ago (Novice level), was close to landing her 2-axel!!!! Fortunately, I had moved onto pairs rather early in the game, so I felt that I had elements that she didn't (and had tried, but was afraid of!)! I WAS jealous of those doubles though!!!

[1lutz2klutz]

Boy, it sure is nice to hear other adults with the same problems/frustrations that I have! It's much harder to learn new physical skills as an adult than it is as a child. I was watching one of the little girls (about age 7 ) who skates on the same early AM session as I do, and I mentioned to my coach that I thought that I had signed up for the "beginner to Olympics in 10 easy lessons" skating lessons that she obviously got! Six months ago she was learning a waltz jump, and now she's working on 2loop and 2sal as well as her axel. Here I am, after 8 years (started at age 37) and I STILL haven't got a consistent backspin, and my lutz and loop regularly take off for parts unknown. I have to keep reminding myself that I do this for my own enjoyment, not for the comparison of myself to other, much more talented skaters.

[MissIndigo]

I have to echo much of what 1lutz2klutz just had to say. Today I had my regular lesson, and on this session skates a boy who a year ago was just getting crossovers and basic jumping and spinning skills consistent. Today he was doing fearless flying camels (fast ones!) and axels, and attempting his double sal. He is a very hard worker and just seems to take his natural ability in stride.

I have to remind myself that I skate mainly for fun, with the occasional competition, so I really don't feel the need to measure myself up against anyone else. As long as I'm learning what I want to learn and I'm good at it, then great! I went home today feeling like a winner, as I did my best camel spin ever. My layback made an official appearance, so I was happy about that too. Who cares if the loop jump still messes with my head?? :lol: It's good to be happy with the small stuff.

[Schmeck]

Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, for your stories! It's great to know that I'm not alone in my mild frustration (and it is mild :) ).

gary, I've got to print out your list of reasons why... I've always believed that the kids are fearless because they don't have so far to fall, but the other ones (like having to drive home!) really made me stop whining and smile! Maybe I'll keep them in my skate bag?

Schmeck

[dbny]

I really think Gary said it all. I have seen kids who are afraid to try things, but they are the exception among young skaters. The only advantage that I've ever felt I had is that I catch on to step sequences immediately (not saying I can do them all, but I understand them), but that is most likely due to my years as a roller dancer when I was a teen.
Next to breaking my wrist, my worst day at the rink was when I sat in the bleachers and watched a kid learn the waltz-8. She had a little trouble with the pattern, but was able to do it in her first lesson on it.

[Figureskates]

There ia always an exception to every rule. We had a woman of 38 take up skating in group lessons in November and by April was doing all her single jumps. She never skated before but was like a kid in that the teacher showed her what to do and she just did. This in no lie, after her first group lesson, she was doing inside 3s on both sides. My chin got frost bite because my jaw just dropped to the ice.....

[blue111moon]

I think if I thought about it more, I could be jealous of just about everyone on this board. ;) Everyone progresses faster than I do. One day I looked around the rink and realized that I've been skating longer than everyone else out there (including two coaches!) had been ALIVE. All I could think was "I should be WAAAAAY better than this!"

So I don't think about it.

[arena_gal]

My skater kids, having the opportunity to take lessons from a young age, have taken off, and eclipsed my skating skills many years ago. I say "if I had lessons when I was your age, look out!". I skate well enough to skate as a family, however I'm not the one doing salchows down the side of the rink. I would be the one handing out change for the concession stand, actually. Yes, a new trick, how to skate with your hand in your wallet.

[Elsy2]

Thanks arena_gal for making my day. It's about time someone recognized the merits of the "Hand in the Wallet" element! :lol:

[Mrs Redboots]

Originally posted by blue111moon
Everyone progresses faster than I do. You haven't seen me skate yet...... And it's not my kid I'm jealous of, nor yet the kids who started skating when I did and are now working on their double axels (I learnt many years ago not to EVER compare myself with the kids), it's my husband! Who did a really great Swing Dance at the Mountain Cup - quite senior dancers saw his Mohawks and were like, "I want one of those!" - much better than I can do. Of course, when we did it together he screwed up the timing far more than I did..... Truthfully...... ;)

[tazsk8s]

Originally posted by Schmeck
Has anyone else been passed by their skating child, and how did you handle it?

Ack, yes. I labored over the lutz for ten freaking MONTHS before I landed one clean and on one foot. Stupid jump still abandons me at competitions when I need it most. Taz Jr. landed the *first* one she ever tried. Easy as can be, clean as a whistle. :?? To rub it in, she landed several more that first day just to prove the first one wasn't a fluke.

I guess I always knew that the point would come someday when she would pass me up, so I haven't gotten that worked up about it. I am proud of what she can do on the ice, and she is proud of me. The role reversal right now is kind of funny, actually. Two years ago when she was trying to get her axel, I didn't want to take my eyes off her when she was trying them for fear that I'd miss the first one. Now that I'm working on mine - not yet close, but improving slowly - she stops and watches *me* when she sees me working on them. Guess she doesn't want to miss my first one, either. :-)

[KJD]

Yes, I can relate to this as well. My just turned 8 year old struggled for a good solid 10 months trying to get an axel. It took me a year too, but I started before she did. She finally got it this past January and boom, had a double sal and double toe to go with it in about 6 weeks. I land maybe 2 decent double sals a session and sometimes none and double toe is unreachable considering how much I hate toe loops. But she basically passed me by late this winter and though its occasionally hard to know how much easier it is for someone her age to learn things like this, I'm really proud of her for all the progress. She passed her pre-pre test last June and is taking her Pre-juv freeskate this weekend and going for her Juvenile moves on July 6.

To the person who's daughter is retrying hers, yes these are a bear. At our annual meeting a couple of weeks ago, they went through pass/fail percentages which were MOST interesting! We are the city/club of the "don't want to pass moves if we can avoid it" judges. We have a 49% retry rate at pre-juv, a 40% retry rate at Juvenile and a whopping 69% retry rate at Novice.

[dbny]

At a public session today, two 10 yr old girls came onto the ice. It was clear that at least one took lessons, but was still in Basic Skills. There were only two other skaters there, and I wanted to do a B cross stroke exercise. I'm always concerned about crashing into someone on the B cross strokes, so I chatted with the girls a bit, and then asked them if they would do me the favor of keeping an eye out for me while I did the exercise, as I wouldn't be able to see behind me. I never expected them to line up in front of the line I was using and watch me 8O When I was done, they both told me in tones of awe what a good skater I was, so I told them, that when they had been taking lessons as long as I had, they would be very much better than I :lol:

[tazsk8s]

Originally posted by KJD
To the person who's daughter is retrying hers, yes these are a bear. At our annual meeting a couple of weeks ago, they went through pass/fail percentages which were MOST interesting! We are the city/club of the "don't want to pass moves if we can avoid it" judges. We have a 49% retry rate at pre-juv, a 40% retry rate at Juvenile and a whopping 69% retry rate at Novice.

That would be us. :roll: Jr. will be going for try #3 in July. About the only thing I can take comfort in is that she isn't even close to the record. One friend's mom told me that her daughter took eight:!: tries to get through her Juv. moves. I would love to see the passing percentages for our now-former club (we are switching to the one my daughter's coach is with). They have a reputation for being very difficult to pass moves tests. Don't mistake what I'm saying...passing moves tests just to rubber stamp them isn't a good thing. But neither is being exceptionally harsh.