Feeling...........out of place.

[Chico]

Today was the first day of summer skating and a busy rink. The kids were everywhere! Next week is my first week of 7:00 a.m. sessions since last summer. I did this last year, the only adult to boot, but I had "forgotten" what these busy sessions are REALLY like and how it feels to be the only adult. I feel like the only orange tree in an orchard of apples. Skating with the kids pushes me, felt it even today, but man I hate feeling weird. I swear the parents look at me like I'm nuts, and I just feel out of sorts. The kids warmed up to me last year, and many I do know, but it's just a weird thing. I find myself thinking I might just be a little nuts........ Does anyone else feel this way too? How do you work through this? Here I am, a mother of two, bopping aroud the rink like a kid. All my adult peers ditch summer skating or at the least these early morning sessions. I have no choice here and just have to deal with this. A little place in my head keeps thinking what do those women, skating moms, say behind my back. I hold my own just fine in the adult crowd, but my weanie axel and 2 salchow is laughable around the kids.

Chico

[TashaKat]

Chico, I can sympathise, I feel the same if I ever go to the Senior Club and skate with the ADULTS, I just feel totally out of place.

I generally skate with the kids so am more used to them. I'm presuming that you're talking about 'skaters' here rather than the public sessions? I find that once the kids get to know you THE MAJORITY are incredibly accepting and very, very helpful. Of course there are also one or two have very definite negative feelings towards adults but then they tend to have negative feelings towards some of the other kids too. It's the same with the parents, some think that you're a joke [i:f759b1a79e](but are they out there giving it a go or are they just sat around b****ing? I know what I would prefer to be doing!) [/i:f759b1a79e] but others are very supportive. To be honest, I don't CARE any more. I know that there are people that don't like me but, hey, so what? I know who my 'friends' are and they are much more special to me :)

The kids that I am 'friends' with give me tips on my skating, encourage (and sometimes 'bully')me, a couple played 'coach' for my field moves test, another ran me through (and through, and through ;) ) my Free test the week before, they come and support me at tests and competitions, they will ask me to watch their programmes/double axels/whatever and are generally just wonderful :) A couple of real 'lump in throat' moments was once when I went to support one of the skaters in a qualifying competition she came to me afterwards, threw her arms around me and said "thank you so much for coming, I really appreciate it, I really helped me knowing that you were here for me" and another came to me at Christmas and gave me a present of a 'karma' bead bracelet and glitter gel "for when you are skating" ..... bless ..... they are SO nice to be around and the ones that I get on with are very good to 'us' adult skaters. The thing that I like about skating with the kids is that, once they've accepted you they don't THINK of you as an adult any more, they treat you as a friend :) They gossip to me about boys, about school, about anything ....... things that they wouldn't even BEGIN to tell me if I wasn't on the ice with them!

Good luck, Chico, give it time and you'll find skating with the kids is a very enriching experience PLUS it will make you get your skating butt in gear!

L x

[TashaKat]

Whoops! Don't know what happened but it posted twice ...... sorry ;)

Well, here are a couple photos of the kids that I skate with ..... unfortunately I can't link to the group photo (http://uk.geocities.com/lynne_uk_ac/img23.jpg) as it's on Yahoo :( I've also got pics of them on my website (http://uk.geocities.com/lynne_uk_ac/page2.html)

[img:05ecb3974d]http://www.icephoto.co.uk/dbimages/sda81229a.jpg[/img:05ecb3974d] [img:05ecb3974d]http://www.icephoto.co.uk/dbimages/sda63244a.jpg[/img:05ecb3974d] [img:05ecb3974d]http://www.icephoto.co.uk/dbimages/sda47224a.jpg[/img:05ecb3974d]


L x

[dani]

As some of you may remember, I sprained my ankle a month ago. Anyway, after my week off the ice, I was back but really taking it easy. On the day of my group lesson, I had had a private lesson so that we could choreograph my routine. I decided I would leave instead of go to my jump & spin class. Anyway, on the way out, I ran into one of my 9 year old friends from the class who is about the same level I am.

"Are you leaving?"

"I think so, I sprained my ankle last week and I am afraid of reinjuring it right now"

She frowned for a minute and said "I think you should stay. I am sure that if we explain it to Ms. Brigitte (the teacher) that she will understand and will let you work on easy things."

The fact that a 9 year old cared about me staying and skating really made me feel special! When I showed up on the ice, she gave me an excited little clap!

Hugs and good luck Chico!

Danielle

[Elsy2]

Oh Yes Chico! I'm in the same boat, thrown onto a busy freestyle session with 4-5 coaches doing private lessons, one choreographer, and yielding right away to programs that I'm not familiar with running constantly. I feel like someone who's trying to cross a busy expressway, throwing myself into the fray to eek a few jumps out. Yesterday I did get in the way of one girl's program pattern...I swear I didn't see her coming, and had a few dirty looks interupting the pattern of a few lutz's...I was going for flips at the time in the usual place they are practiced in a straight line to the end of the rink, which crosses the pattern of the lutz's into the corner.....Akkkk! The whole atmosphere is very high energy, which is a good thing, but difficult for me to adjust to. I feel stressed...I feel embarassed, I rush my elements and blow them...I'm just not skating well on these sessions! I find myself hugging the wall, darting out to try something when I see space, then retreating to the wall again. Sigh.....
The alternative is to not skate at all....which I've considered!

[melanieuk]

You are not nuts because I suffer from this too. :lol:

I am more used to having the ice either to myself, or with 2 or 3 others.
It IS a shock when along come 15 or more kids and they completely knock your equilibrium!! 8O

I like all the kids, and they're all friendly.
They do inspire me, but also they overwhelm me sometimes.
It depends on my frame of mind on that particular day of course. :roll:

I notice I spend a lot of skating time either watching them skate or watching I don't get knocked over!
So I'm really not skating as much as I would if I was alone.
I also don't do so many lutzes because I haven't sussed out how not to be petrified of what I can't see behind me!

It just takes a bit of adjustment for you. Once you are accustomed to it, it won't seem so bad.

This will just be my second set of school summer holidays and it seems to go on forever....already the school leavers are in most days, and the school hols aren't here yet. :?

[sk8pics]

I know exactly what you mean, because I switch rinks in the summer and then go back to my original rink in the fall, and there's always an adjustment period. In fact, even though my present rink is much less crowded, I still felt unnerved the first day, just because of unfamiliarity. Plus these sessions are open, not restricted by level, and so ther's a wider range of skill levels.

But you have every right to be there! I would dearly love to be at your level, Chico, and you should be proud of your accomplishments. You have to learn to stand your ground when it's your right to. On Thursday, I was in a lesson working on spins, and another coach was working with her dance team. They weren't skating a pattern, but were just meandering across the ice not paying any attention. I stood poised to start my spin and didn't budge, and the other coach looked up and said, "Oh, sorry" and moved away. I was very proud of myself for standing my ground, and I had a right to! Don't let anyone push you around: some people will if they think they can.

As for the worrying about what other think part, why bother? There will always be people who think adults don't belong on the ice. Thankfully I've not heard any sort of comments like that, and I've made friends with many of the skate moms who are there watching their kids skate. They're all so supportive of me, too, and I do appreciate it.

Good luck, hang in there!
Pat

[sk8pics]

I know exactly what you mean, because I switch rinks in the summer and then go back to my original rink in the fall, and there's always an adjustment period. In fact, even though my present rink is much less crowded, I still felt unnerved the first day, just because of unfamiliarity. Plus these sessions are open, not restricted by level, and so ther's a wider range of skill levels.

But you have every right to be there! I would dearly love to be at your level, Chico, and you should be proud of your accomplishments. You have to learn to stand your ground when it's your right to. On Thursday, I was in a lesson working on spins, and another coach was working with her dance team. They weren't skating a pattern, but were just meandering across the ice not paying any attention. I stood poised to start my spin and didn't budge, and the other coach looked up and said, "Oh, sorry" and moved away. I was very proud of myself for standing my ground, and I had a right to! Don't let anyone push you around: some people will if they think they can.

As for the worrying about what other think part, why bother? There will always be people who think adults don't belong on the ice. Thankfully I've not heard any sort of comments like that, and I've made friends with many of the skate moms who are there watching their kids skate. They're all so supportive of me, too, and I do appreciate it.

Good luck, hang in there!
Pat

[Figureskates]

let me add another ingredient to that mix...besides being the only adult in the early Tuesday morning session, I am the only male out on the ice!!

I think some of the mothers think I should be fixing the Zamboni or something...

[singerskates]

I'm always the only adult doing freeskating skating with the kids. I'm use to having 20 or so kids on the ice zoom by me from all directions. Before spring skating, I was skating at the Junior level where the kids were working on their prelim FS and Junior Bronze (prebronze) FS and then my coach had me move up to Intermidiate where the kids were working on senior bronze (bronze) and junior silver (Juvenile) FS . Now that was a big move for me because I had about 10 kids on the ice with me before who for the most part didnt' move all that fast but then all ove a sudden, there was kids that zoomed by me and made me feel like I was standing still. At the end of spring skating, I was use to the intermediate skaters but when a few of the senior skaters (senior silver (intermidiate), gold ( I'm not sure of the level for the US) and competitive Novice skaters, I really felt a difference. MOst of the parents think I have guts to try to learn to figure skate and some have said that I have come a long way. There was only two times that there was another adult freeskating on the ice with me; once during adult ice where the rest were adult ice dancers or kids and the other when my skating friend from the Detroit area came over to join me skating one Saturday morning. Most of the coaches at first thought I was a waste of time. It took me quite a long time to get a coach who would take me seriously and push me as hard as she would push the kids. That coach is still me coach. Come Sept. I won't be getting adult ice anymore and always will be skating on the intermediate ice. I'll be learning the stuff that the intermediate skaters learn and the stuff I didn't quite get on the junior session this past year.

Anyway, you just have to give yourself time to get to learn the other skaters' habits and FS, so that you can avoid them and they need to learn your habits and freeskates. Then you'll all get along and have fun.

Brigitte

[Chico]

Thanks for the support, and I guess I was looking for support. I skate at a private rink and it tends to be pretty quiet on my regular session during the school year. The summer session is a huge change. I also meet many new and high end kids that I don't normally see. The kids I do know are very nice, but this different group takes some time. It's like starting a new school as a kid sorta. Last year it took me landing my axel to break the ice with this high end group. (As I recall they stood around watching me. =-0) It also took weeks to get comfortable with the early morning session, packed rink, and fast moving kiddos. Like Elsy mentioned I felt .....scared. All these double jumpers and ME. My coach didn't have any sympathy and just yelled at me to take my ice. I guess all these thoughts were flashing in my head Friday and I got upset. Oh, most of the adults are nice and do tell me how well I'm doing but there are a few who give me the shivers. You know the type! Thanks for all the support and I give it back. I guess I should also mention that I'm in the middle of buying a new house and my tension level is high anyway. I skate to relax and even this will have tension in the future weeks! And yes, I DO learn tons from the kids. I find myself trying to catch up. =-)

Thanks for the support and shared feelings.

Chico

[jazzpants]

I feel fortunate to be skating amongst kids who are USED TO having adults do freestyle skating alongside with them. In fact, my home club has a LOT of adult figure skaters at Adults National. At least 16 skaters are from our skating club this year alone!!! (More if you are counting the Associate members of our club...)

From the few times I've been at a freestyle session at my home rink, the adults do hold their own with the kids. In fact, they are pretty polite to each other for the most part and we're just like any other skater that's there. :)

I did have one weird encounter though. It was at a power stroking session and I was the only adult there. (The adults took a day off or something... dunno...) I noticed that the Chinese skating moms were all gesturing/pointing at me and saying "Look at the weird lady skating along with the kids and doing jumps with the rest of them." But I quickly shrugged it off and concentrated on my crossovers and my stroking form and I was able to skate along with the kids just fine. Eventually, I stopped going to power stroking class because I like my SLEEP!!! :P (Also, it was WAAAY too crowded and I felt that I could get more bang for the buck and better concentration practicing at quieter ice sessions.)

I've also had the usual skating mom asking if my DAUGHTER was skating on the ice when I'm off ice stretching or watching too. Of course, I had to tell them (in an embarassed tone) that I don't have a daughter and I'm the skater. I've also had one skating mom who, upon finding out that I'm around their age and married, asking "Why don't I just go and have babies and have my daughter skate for me??? (To which I answered "What??? And miss out on all the fun???") The best story was of another skating mom, whom, upon seeing that I was around her age and was doing jumps and spins along with the other kids at the skating school, decided to start taking up skating herself. (She said it was because she wants to be on the ice with her kid during her skating lesson, so she can be close by to hear what was going on.) :)

Cheers,
jazzpants

[TashaKat]

[quote:54bb284240="Chico"] It also took weeks to get comfortable with the early morning session, packed rink, and fast moving kiddos. Like Elsy mentioned I felt .....scared. All these double jumpers and ME. My coach didn't have any sympathy and just yelled at me to take my ice. Chico[/quote:54bb284240] Chico, I used to be scared too when I first went onto patch, I used to hug the barrier, stand at at the side most of the time and generally feel miserable BUT as I got to know programmes, dance patterns, habits (and you'll find that the majority of kids have favourite places for doing their elements!) I felt much better about it. In the end I MADE myself stop apologising for being out there, I was of the standard, I'd paid my money, I was having lessons, I was ENTITLED to be there .... It was tough, yes, but now, the speed doesn't bother me so much [i:54bb284240](apart from if we get a Pairs couple, that's scary, I don't want to be the cause of anyone being dropped out of a lift!),[/i:54bb284240] in fact I don't really notice it anymore. Oh, and Chico, you're in good company because I know that some of the kids that come new to the patch often feel the same!

L x

[jenlyon60]

I do almost all my skating on Freestyle/Dance sessions with the kids. I was a bit intimidated at first but now I hold my own with the rest of them. These are sessions with 15-20 kids on them, ranging from about ISI 1 to competitive Junior dance and freestyle.

[NickiT]

Hi Chico!

When you pick up my email to you you'll see that I had exactly the same thing doing my lesson yesterday on club patch!!!!

For the rest of you - I usually take my lessons on early patch after the kids have gone to school so there are barely more than 3 or 4 of us on the ice. However my daughter has her lesson on Saturday club patch and I always go on with her to help her and to get some practice myself. I was a bit apprehensive about going on this patch at first as it's all kids and only occasionally another adult, but since I just do my own thing I've never worried unduly. However yesterday my daughter couldn't take her lesson and with me being less than a week away from competing - at our rink's Adult Opens, Lynne! I pinched her lesson. Needless to say despite telling my coach I didn't want to run through my programme in front of all the kids and worse still, skate mums, my coach insisted. So there I was trying to do this programme weaving in and out of fast young skaters, terrified of getting knocked flying and feeling a bit out of place. Couldn't have done too bad though as one of the mums came over afterwards and told me I looked great!

Nicki

[Chico]

Hi!

Decided I needed to report back after my moaning attack, and everyones wonderful support. Well, I skated my first 7:00 a.m. session of the summer and it was great. My body was somewhat shocked, lack of coffee I'm thinking, but it came out of it quick. I didn't have any trouble keeping up with the kids this summer. I was surprised by this, when did this change occur? I did fall big time on my 2 sal this morning. While sitting on the ice some young lady helped me up with the comment, "That was a great 2 sal until you landed on your butt." Of course we both laughed at this. =-) This little gal had all of her doubles, axel included. Somehow this little scene warmed my coffee lacking heart. Miracles of miracles I landed my axel, and had witnesses. The wonderful thing about this is that I was given ice space for a change in the summer crowd. Why is the darn axel such an important jump in the skating crowd? I also found my backside moving much faster than usual. I also was watching the kids for tips, and I truly did learn some pointers. Okay..........I was wrong and I will be better for the summer skating. I admit that I was freaking for nothing.

Chico

[Michigansk8er]

I don't give skating with the kids a second thought. I actually enjoy it, for the most part. I generally skate on a session with 20 to 25 skaters, at least 7 coaches giving lessons (yes, it's a ZOO), and programs going every which way. I could do with less people on a session, and relish the times I'm on an empty session, but I guess I'm not self-conscious in the least about skating with the kids. As for the skate moms, they can think what they want. My thought about them is to wonder why they prefer sitting there day after day on a cold old metal bleacher when they could be on the ice having fun!!!!! :D

Have fun with the kids. Don't worry about what jumps you have and don't have. I have a 26 year old daughter, so heaven knows what they are thinking about this old lady on the ice. Let 'em think it!! The only time I feel really old is being in a stroking class with the teens. Yikes!!!! Thank goodness I don't have to do that this summer. It was good for me last summer, but it was also torture. Anyhow, in general, I don't think the kids pay attention to what we are or aren't doing anyhow. They are too focused on what they are doing.

Enjoy!!!!! The good part is that you get summer ice. I think a lot of adults totally lose out in the summer.

[Mariposa]

I agree that you shouldn't worry about what elements you can do and which ones you can't. I had to skate on a public today--SUPER crowded! It really reminded me that it is better to skate on a freestyle, no matter if you are the only adult.