Silly things our coaches say about our skating. May 2003

[singerskates]

This what my coach told me when I was trying to do my toe loop the other day (Thursday), "Quit acting like a puppet on strings." Then she proceeded to show me what my arms and legs were doing. My arms and legs were rising and falling together at the same time. I had a hard time not to laugh away the next 2 minutes silly.

Please, keep'em coming.

Brigitte

[Elsy2]

Sometime coach calls my loop jump my "statue of liberty" loop. I didn't realize my one arm was flying over my head! 8O

[Hester Prynn]

Well, I had a coach who really had some good ones.... I fell real hard on a dbl axl attempt one day and the coach says, "That gravity, it's a killer!" Took me awhile to recover from that one!!! My most fav. corny saying, "Hey, are you Russian??? Cuz you sure are Rushin' that jump" hardy har... :lol: Hard not to laugh at that one.

Once had a coach who told me to imagine I was kicking a guy I didn't like in the *package* so I'd kick thru on my axel... interesting way of putting it. Couldn't she have just said, "Step up the ladder?"

Yup, keep'em coming!!

*hester

:: edited to fix my nutsy typos! ::

[becca]

In the last 12 secs of what had up until that point been a clean program, I fell on an axel (my best jump...I use it as a warm-up jump as soon as I get on the ice and stroke). My coach looked at me and said "OK Sasha Cohen"...then he made me go do an axel which of course i had no program with.

[jazzpants]

Originally posted by Hester Prynn
Once had a coach who told me to imagine I was kicking a guy I didn't like in the *package* so I'd kick thru on my axel... interesting way of putting it. Couldn't she have just said, "Step up the ladder?"

:lol: Hester, I'll HAVE to remember that one!!! :lol: (Okay, I'm not on my axel yet, but I'm trying to get the waltz jump nice and high and ready for it.) :D

[Aussie Willy]

Well my dance coach will occaisionally refer to my "outgobia" - basically sticking my butt out! She will tell me that I am "suffering from outgobia".

[thumbyskates]

Originally posted by becca
In the last 12 secs of what had up until that point been a clean program, I fell on an axel (my best jump...I use it as a warm-up jump as soon as I get on the ice and stroke). My coach looked at me and said "OK Sasha Cohen"...then he made me go do an axel which of course i had no program with.


Haahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! That is for real hilarious :D I can imagine me doing something like that. Haha. That's real good.

Kortney 8O

[Figureskates]

The day I took my pre-pre moves test, the rink was really, really, really cold.

I took the test with another adult who has been in my class for the last two years and we have the same coach.

We wanted to warm up before our coach showed up so we hit the ice and tried to stroke and get warmed up.

It was so cold so we started out really really slow. Our coach shows up and see us and yells across the nearly empty rink..

"Bend those knees, stretch, more speed...you two look like a couple of geriatrics!!"

We both lost it..

We did get loosened up finally and we both passed our test.

[Hester Prynn]

Those were great!! Especially the Sasha one!! One of my favorites for when I go around or pop the jump, my old coach used to yell, "Oh right, CASPER GOT IN YOUR WAY AGAIN, HUH?? DO THE JUMP!!!" aren't we touchy... :lol:
And a true classic was me doing a dbl flip too close to the wall where my coach stood. He would stand at the end of the rink against the boards... and I jumped too late... falling on the landing and sliding right into him. The skating director was center ice in lesson and yelled, "SAFE!!!" when I plowed into coach. My coach's response, "FPSA..:roll: :roll: " (Female Power Strikes Again) That's not exactly a compliment! hahah!

Geez, coaches are good for some serious entertainment!!!

Figureskates, that was great!!! Your coach sounds interesting!!!
Aussie Willy.... interesting term if I might say.

What would figure skating be like without colorful coaches? Care to answer....

*hester

[StarshineXavier]

My coach knows that when I jump, she can't yell at me during the jump or I get really distracted and fall. But it seems every so often that I'll be close to landing a jump and she'll scream out "PULL OUT" and I go crashing to the ice. She knows she can't yell out to me, and yet she does. Go figure!

I'm told all the time "God gave you knees, use them!" by my dance coach. Another time, when doing the Blues, I was told when doing the leg stretches to "pretend you have sticky tack on your toepick and you're reaching for $1000000 bill under a table." He told me to stop reaching for the money when I picked him HARD in the shin. I guess I got the million! ;)

I've also been told when doing spread eagles, "Stop sticking your butt out, you're not Emanuel Sandhu." I laughed really hard at that one. ;)

[Mrs Redboots]

My coach's favourite comment when Robert and I are dancing together is: "I must have dropped off a moment there - I thought I was watching the wrestling on the telly!" Rude man....

[Ice T]

My coach is Czech, so everytime he tells me to "check out" on a jump I start laughing and think "Czech out!"

He also tells me I'm always rushing things, so I tell him "I'm Russian and your Czech!" And with all the checking and rushing, I told him "there sure are a lot of Russians and Czechs in skating." Well, I guess he didn't get my humor because he replied a very serious, '.....yeah.....there are....and they are good skaters!"

Hello??!! Czech please! :D

[climbsk8]

My first coach was teaching me spirals back in my beginner days and she stopped me and told me I could go to the ladies room if I needed to.

Huh? I said...

"Well, I just thought you need to pee, since you look like a dog going on a fire hydrant," she said.

I learned to keep my free leg behind me after that :)

My new coach, who is helping me on double salchow and axel now, has a standard comment after a big crash:

"Did it hurt?"
"Yup," I say...
"Are you hurt?"
"Nope," I say...
"Good. Then try it again."

[Sk8Bunny]

my coach last week told me after i had done a really terrible spin- 'So, where are you traveling to?'. haha, that cracked me up, cause shes not one to be funny, but is very strict and serious. and then i got told the story how my coach's coach, who happened to be gussiv lussi(sp?), was teaching paul wylie one day, and he traveled in a spin and he said 'So, wheres your luggage'. But apparently he was sarcastic about the remark, so paul just stood there with his arms crossed and his teeth gritted. haha, too funny.

alright heres a new question to add to this thread- what funny/silly things have you, as a skater, said to your coach about your own skating?

[jazzpants]

Here's an oldie but a goodie... Correction for clenched fist instead of nice open flat hands...

Coach: You have any M&M's???
Me: No... you want me to get some???
Coach: No, I was just wondering if you are holding M&M in your hands. It would explain why your hand is not OPEN!!! :P (M&M's... melts in your mouth, not in your hand.) :P

[ask8ingcat]

How about this one? Wow! that jump was so high you could almost slide a credit card under that one.

[Hester Prynn]

ask8ingcat... THAT was good! I'm in stitches!!!

To my coach at a competition last weekend, "So um, is there like an unwritten rule about smiling and having a personality on practice ice??" (coach: yes....) "Oh, ok, I guess I didn't get the memo"

me: That jump sucked!
coach: Yeah, it really did
me: Yup, just call me Hoover...


*hp*

[jazzpants]

ask8ngcat: Glad to hear that Mistress Coach is still the same! :lol: (Tell her I said hi for me!!!)

I got one for today... this was after going through the Bronze Moves and finding myself running out of steam after going through 2 of the 5 move elements required for the test.

Me: Sheesh!!! I've only got through 2 of the 5 moves and I'm dying here!!!
Coach: Yeah! Well wait 'til you get to go through the Novice Moves!!! (My only revenge is knowing that earlier in the morning he got beaten up by HIS coach working on Novice Moves.) :twisted:

So after I'm done with all 5 moves... I'm literally hanging on the hockey box. The guy cracks up laughing and THEN says "Let's see you do a LOOP now!!!" (WAAAAH!!! NOT my WORST jump!?!?!?!) 8O

[sk8er1964]

I have to start this with the statement that I'm not particularly fond of lutzes and Coach knows it. We had just done about 5 lutz-toes in my lesson (most of which were bad).

Me: I'm getting tired (trying to get out of doing more lutzes).

Coach: OK, how tired are you? What would you say if I asked you to do an axel.

Me: I suppose I could do one (thinking yeah - no more lutzes)

Coach (after a short pause): OK, go and do another lutz.

Me: Sigh.....

[quarkiki2]

This one cracks me up: Instructor to me after a failed FO3: Wow! You're so graceful that If I didn't watch your feet I'd assume that you did that correctly!

And this one: Another instructor (Russian) in reference to an improvised interpretive program: Very good arms! Looks beautiful! Needs more skating!

[*dani-skates*]

My coach just stands there, twiddles his thumbs, looks around and starts to sing loudly and badly if I keep popping or doubling jumps- and he wonders why I have trouble landing my jumps sometimes? I think I'll start singing at him when hes trying to do a 3toe.

[singerskates]

Yesterday, on sprained Achilles tendon and knee I was trying to get ready for testing my dances. After I finished doing one of my dances, my coach complains to me about some of the timing in the steps. I told her to "talk to the Achilles tendon" and she just smiled and laughed.