Changing Coaches

[Sk8pdx]

I have had my current coach for a year. I changed coaches around this same time last year due to scheduling problems with someone else and was referred to my current coach by my origanl coach. I am now considering another change. Not that my current coach isn't a good person, I am just wondering if I would improve and respond better to different teaching technique. Not only that, I have never really felt that I could "connect" with her on a teacher /student level. It may be that we are close in age and are different personalities too. I have had a few group lessons with other coaches where I have come to the conclusion that I think my learning style would match better. I haven't said anything to my coach yet as I am still debating the change. I do not want to have a reputation for changing coaches every year.:roll: I have a knot in my stomach every time I think about changing.:cry: don't want my coach to feel badly. What does one do? Do you ask your primary coach if you can try a lesson with another coach? Just telling them you won't be taking lessons from them any more without warning isn't warrented my current situation.

Anyone have any thoughts?

[Chico]

Listen to your heart. Your guts know what you should do and yes change is hard. Remain friends with your old coach, after a year I'm sure you are. Contact the coach your interested in and talk to them. Just cause you want someone doesn't make them available. If they say yes ask how they handle coaching changes. My experience is they contact your old coach. Some coach rule I guess. Then talk to your old coach and try to be kind and honest. Of course, I feel that they should have been talked to before. Changing coaches should be a last choice not the first. And, if possible they need an opportunity to fix or change things. Changing coaches does'nt mean you don't care, just that you NEED something different.

Chico

[stardust skies]

You pay them for a service. Unless there's a contract involved (and with some top coaches, there is) it is your right to cancel your "subscription" to their services anytime, given 24 hours notice. It's a lot of money. There's no reason to stick with someone who isn't the best for you. Would you feel this way about switching personal trainers? I don't think so. People think they should be loyal to their coaches, and I say...be loyal to yourself first. And hey, if you want a better opportunity and you have one, take it! Who's to say if your current coach had the opportunity to teach someone going to the Olympics but in return had to fire you so that this person could have your spot, they wouldn't absolutely kick you to the curb? You can't trust anyone with their choices, and there's no reason to stifle yourself for someone who would most likely do the same thing you are thinking of doing given the opportunity. When it's time to move on, it's time to move on.

I've switched coaches a lot in my career, and I haven't earned a bad reputation at all. I just don't leave messes behind.

ETA: I just read Chico's post, and while their approach may be a lot more courteous and PC than mine- I personally don't think a coach change should be a last resort- it should be a resort to take whenever you want to or feel the need to. Like I said, you're not tied to these people, they are hired to coach you. It's not as if they're doing you a favor, they're paid very well for their services. And I wouldn't contact a new coach before severing ties with my old one- because honestly, if I've decided to switch coaches, it's because the old one isn't cutting it, not because a new one might appear better (because it would suck to be wrong...), so I'll quit coach number one, and take my chances that coach number two is available. If not, then I'll find somebody else. It has to be about coach one not working out, not coach two appearing better, cause you can really be let down that way. But I've never had a new coach contact an old coach- personally I think it brings uncessary baggage to the new partnership, and the coaches I have had couldn't careless who I took from before or what they think of me. I don't think of coaches as friends, so perhaps this has to do with it. A coach is there to teach me. When I feel I've outgrown their teaching, I move on to a different teacher. Nothing unfair or wrong about that.

[Mrs Redboots]

It has to be about coach one not working out, not coach two appearing better, cause you can really be let down that way. I agree with you; I'm in that position - I'd really like to take from another coach at our rink, but for a variety of reasons I'm not prepared to go into, I can't do that while retaining the services of my present coach. So for now we are sticking with him - after all, our lack of progress may be down to us, not him! As he once yelled at me in a moment of intense frustration: "I can tell you what to do, and show you how to do it, but you have to actually DO it, so will you please PUSH!" And I really don't see how that would change with another coach! I'd still be a wimp.....

[sophisastar]

Hi I just changed coach last week, I had always been trained by the same coach
and was really dreding the change. In the end a change of coach is probably a good thing becouse you get to work in a different way. At this moment in time it's working out quite well for me.
In your case I think it's really important to connect with you coach becouse 80 percent of your skating is linked to state of mind, you should consider this and try to way out the good and bad in order to make a dicision. And anyway who care if you changed coaches a few time the important thing is your skating and you might find yourself in a situation far more comfortable than the one you are in and in the end you might stick to one particular coach.
Finally, try to make up your mind fast so that your skating doesn't suffer from it . The most important thing, in my opinion is that you are a happy skater at the end of the day!!!
Good luck in you decisions
SOPH xx

[Isk8NYC]

Check out the other coach/coaches you're interested in. Watch their lessons with other students and see if their style meets your needs. Find out if they have the time available and/or the interest in teaching you. Make sure they realize that you have a coach already and that you will manage the transition.

Then, you should be the one to tell your current coach. Just simply explain what you've told us, wish her good luck, and move on without burning bridges. Please don't let her find out through the grapevine -- it causes hard feelings all around and could actually discourage another coach from taking you on. (Just out of fear of being in the current coach's shoes.)

Good luck.

[Melzorina]

I think it's good for you to be able to connect with your coach, and build a friendship. It's good to be able to have a laugh about things, and chat about normal things before/after your lesson. I think the best coach/student relationships are those that have friendships also.

[skaternum]

I think the best coach/student relationships are those that have friendships also.I'm not so sure about this. I want to be on friendly terms with my coach, but I've seen too many examples of coach/friend issues getting really bad. I think boundaries with one's coach are healthy. Issues that can arise: How do you leave a coach/friend? (I've seen adult skaters afraid to "fire" an ineffective coach/friend because they don't want to ruin the friendship or hurt feelings.) What do you do if one party uses the friendship to take advanatage of the professional relationship? (Especially if the coach/friend is one of those who doesn't clearly establish fees, expectations, etc.)? There are coaches who also do costuming (for a fee, of course). I've seen some coach/friends push these extras on their student/friends, and the student doesn't want to hurt the coach's feelings. I've seen some coaches "weaken" their coaching for friends, which doesn't do the student any favors. And I've seen some very uncomfortable situations when the friendship wanes, as they sometimes do, but the coaching still has to go on.

Nope, I prefer to have a friendly, professional relationship with my coach. I really like and respect my coach, I chat a bit with her now and then, and I always give her gifts when I do well in a test or competition. But I don't want us to be "friends" the way I'm friends with others. There are already enough dynamics to a coach/student relationship (customer vs. service provider; authority figure vs. ... uh ... not authority figure; etc.) I don't want to add more to the mix.

My personal preference.

[stardust skies]

I think it's good for you to be able to connect with your coach, and build a friendship. It's good to be able to have a laugh about things, and chat about normal things before/after your lesson. I think the best coach/student relationships are those that have friendships also.

I disagree. My coach is very well-known, and has had something like 10 thousand students throughout his career. Not all of them were high level, or full time, but...still. My coach doesn't have time to build friendships, and plus, as a 20 year old girl, I don't see how to befriend a 60-something year-old man who I have nothing in common with. If I have a skating related problem, we'll talk. If I have a non skating related problem that affects my skating, we'll talk. But we're not going to chit-chat before and/or after lessons, he doesn't have time for that kind of stuff, nor do I expect him to- I have stuff to get done too, it'd be a burden to have to manage a friendship with someone when I just want to move onto the rest of my training- wastes time.

I'm not sure my coach and I would get along off the ice. Honestly? That doesn't matter. He's a great coach, has great technique and communication skills, and whether or not we have anything in common or get along off the ice isn't what I'm paying him for, nor what he's devoting time on me for. You shouldn't be friends with someone who you pay for services, IMO, and even less someone who is pretty much halfway in control of your career. Bussiness is bussiness, if you keep it that way, everything is much cleaner and the lines are never crossed. It's when attachement and feelings of loyalty and comraderie develop that messes start. Sheesh, don't need those. Drama, drama, drama.

[Chico]

Well.....I agree that your coach should be your coach FIRST and then a friend. By friend I mean someone you can trust and be on good terms with. I don't mean FRIEND though. I've done this and it's not a good place to go. She gave me loooooong lessons because she liked me and I ignored, sorta, her missing lessons cause she was mine. Not a good friendship. Long story short she is my friend now but not my coach. Cause I skate and NEED a COACH. I have friends. This is a weird situation though as an adult because you do spend a lot of time with your coach and they get to know you pretty good. Seriously, how many folks do you get this close to if their not your FRIEND.

I was told that it's a coaches responsibility to contact your old coach. It's in their ethic "rule book". Personally I don't know.

I treat the student/coach relationship like I would want it treated. If I was screwing up I'd want my coach to tell me before she dumped me. Talking can do wonders. So...I would try the talking thing first personally. I wouldn't keep coach one waiting for another coach. In fact I've moved on, left my old coach, and was coach free for a year before I hooked up with someone new. I did a lot of thinking....... So, if your not happy, move on. I ment not to count on a coach until you've talked to them.

Lastly, I pay my coach to guide me. She does need to hear me and address my needs but I need to trust her judgement as a teacher. As an adult and her a coach this can get tricky at times. I think the bottom line is the ability to be flexible with each other and talk. And this, is why the relationship can get tricky.

I agree, put YOU first. If your coach is a real friend they will still be your friend when their not your coach. And, if you have talked before they will know why. And so will you. =-) It helped me to know we had talked before the final ending.

Chico

[Big Mama]

I've been through this a couple of times already with my skater, and it is never easy. First of all, you need to do what is right for you. You can't worry about hurting your coach's feelings. We stayed with the first coach waaaaay too long because we didn't want to hurt her feelings. We gave up precious time that could have been spent with a coach who was better qualified in the discipline that my skater was pursuing... :frus: If the coach truly wants what's best for you, they will wish you good luck.

If you truly believe that you would understand/respond better with a different coach, then you should do so right away. I woud first approach the coach/coaches that you're interested in though and make sure that they are accepting new students. Then you need to talk to your coach ASAP before they hear something through the grapevine. Make sure to thank your coach for all of their help, and explain your situation. Also, sometimes the new coach will call the old coach after you have spoken to them - just to help things transition smoothly.

I don't think that you need to worry about getting a bad reputation for coach-hopping either. Sometimes you have to go through a few coaches before you find the right fit. Just make sure that you check out the teacher's credentials first. Find out what level tests they have passed in the discipline that you are interested in and what their PSA rating is. You should also watch the coach interact with their students and also ask their students and/or the students' parents any questions that you have.

This is a very expensive sport, and you need to think of yourself first. Stop agonizing over it, and make the move!!! :)

[phoenix]

I've been on both sides of this scenario, as a student and as a coach. Coaches are supposed to follow a set of ethical guidelines put out by the PSA, which states that you're supposed to contact the old coach before taking on a new student. This is for 2 reasons--one, to make sure you don't accidentally steal a student away from a coach who is still officially employed by the skater; and two, to make sure the skater didn't leave that coach with unpaid bills. Not every coach follows that protocol, but they're supposed to.

I've had to leave 2 coaches in my skating life, niether time was happy, but in the long run both times it was a change for the better. Coaches do have to get a tough skin because students do definitely come and go. But on the other hand, I would appreciate it greatly if someone came to me & said, 'I just feel I need a change" or whatever. Once a father switched his daughter to another coach without even bothering to tell me--I walked into the rink to teach her lesson, & there she was having a lesson w/ the new coach (who obviously had not contacted me re. the switch). Up to that point as far as I'd heard they had been very happy w/ me. I still don't know why they left me & it still bugs me--maybe I did absolutely nothing wrong & the girl just connected w/ the other coach (who she'd had in group class) better. Maybe I did something to make them mad that I could have fixed. Or maybe I unknowingly made some mistake that I'll make again because no one's pointed it out to me.

Yes a coach is your employee, but they are people too, they have feelings & we invest a lot into our students. It's only common courtesy to communicate with them if you need to make a change.

[dbny]

Once a father switched his daughter to another coach without even bothering to tell me--I walked into the rink to teach her lesson, & there she was having a lesson w/ the new coach (who obviously had not contacted me re. the switch).


Slightly OT, but 8O , that father owes you for the lesson he failed to cancel in time! The new coach was definitely out of line if she/he did not take note of what happened and have a word with the new student's father about it.

[Sk8pdx]

I've been on both sides of this scenario, as a student and as a coach...Yes a coach is your employee, but they are people too, they have feelings & we invest a lot into our students. It's only common courtesy to communicate with them if you need to make a change.

Thank you for a coach's point-of-view. Everyone has made good points to consider. While everyone has provided an array of insight how to best handle this matter, I do agree that my current coach deserves to know beforehand of the change. I think everyone has agreed on handling it with respect for all parties involved in changing (old coach, new coach and student). I am still trying to discern how much of it is Me (like Mrs Redboots said) versus how I would respond better to different teaching technique (Like Startdust Skies said it needs to be a matter of coach 1 not cutting it versus the possibility of coach 2 being better). :roll: :??

It will be interesting to see where this skating journey takes me. Sometimes the life lessons I have learned through skating lessons in the past 2 years have been the most valuable experiences. Thanks again, everyone for your help.

[sk8pics]

I so agree with skaternum and stardust skies, you can't truly be friends with your coach. Dual relationships are so tricky and really should be avoided. Yes, you have to trust your coach. But like stardust skies said, if you think you are friends and that friendship degrades, you still have to deal with that person as a coach, and it is an added distraction from your skating issues. I do think talking first is a good idea, and you can have a talk with the coach while still putting your needs as a skater first.

Thanks to everyone for their interesting posts. I've enjoyed reading them as I'm having some scheduling issues with my own coach right now, and I can see the distinct possibility of having to at least partly replace him :cry: , which would definitely be hard.

[stardust skies]

Phoenix....your post got me thinking about the PSA rules. I know it's in the ethics rulebook that the new coach is supposed to contact the old coach. I have always found that really tacky. I mean, as far as unpaid bills, it's a problem between the old coach and the skater- IMO it's not the responsibility of the new coach to see that those bills get paid, and they shouldn't involve themselves or refuse to coach the skater because of it, because for all they know coach 1 is lying to try and keep the new coach from taking the student on and thus keeping to student to themselves, or there is another reason the money is due which is not necessarily going to be explained by the old coach. IF this were the case, it'd be a lot of baggage and mistrust for the skater to bring into this new relationship. I think a new coach should take care of a new coach's bussiness, not what the old coach left behind.

And as far as to make sure the new coach isn't "stealing" the kid...well, I never understood that either. It's a lot like when a girl blames you for "stealing" their boyfriend- you didn't steal, they left willingly. If a student goes to a new coach-regardless of the reasons or the manner in which they handle it, they still WANT to go to this new coach. I don't see why it should be a problem, or why the old coach should know who you have decided to move onto- what if you want them out of your life and want the information kept private?

I've always found that particular PSA rule especially invasive, although I've personally never dealt with it because all the coaches I have had pretty much know each other and talk at events. But still, I wouldn't want coach number 1 to talk about my departure or any of our bussiness arrangements with coach number 2. There's enough sh*t-talking in this narrow little world. Things get twisted in the blink of an eye. I don't want my new coach to be biased on certain things because of a possible grudge an old coach may have against me. And if the old coach asks for things to be kept confidential, you'll never even be able to refute any lies.

Have I seen this happen many times before? Oh, yes. :frus:

[Debbie S]

And as far as to make sure the new coach isn't "stealing" the kid...well, I never understood that either. It's a lot like when a girl blames you for "stealing" their boyfriend- you didn't steal, they left willingly.
Well, if a coach and/or a 3rd party that is working on their behalf go up to another coach's student and tell them point blank that their coach is bad for them or can't coach, yada, yada, yada, and suggest that they "get a better coach" and then recommend themselves or their coach/friend, that is "stealing". It's up to skaters to evaluate their coaching situations and make decisions on their own, like Sk8pdx is doing.

[Debbie S]

Coaches are supposed to follow a set of ethical guidelines put out by the PSA, which states that you're supposed to contact the old coach before taking on a new student. This is for 2 reasons--one, to make sure you don't accidentally steal a student away from a coach who is still officially employed by the skater; and two, to make sure the skater didn't leave that coach with unpaid bills. Not every coach follows that protocol, but they're supposed to.

Hmmm, I thought that coaches were only required to tell their new student to tell their previous coach that they were switching before they gave the student any lessons. I agree with stardust skies that financial issues are not really the new coach's business, although I could see why a new coach might be interested in that info to make sure they don't wind up in the same situation.

[stardust skies]

Well, if a coach and/or a 3rd party that is working on their behalf go up to another coach's student and tell them point blank that their coach is bad for them or can't coach, yada, yada, yada, and suggest that they "get a better coach" and then recommend themselves or their coach/friend, that is "stealing". It's up to skaters to evaluate their coaching situations and make decisions on their own, like Sk8pdx is doing.

You answered your own statement though..."it is up to the skaters to evaluate their coaching situations and make decisions on their own", meaning that if someone were to come up to them and say their coach was terrible and that they would make much more progress with someone else and then offer their services, the student, IF sastified with the coach he or she has (or the parent, whoever makes the decision...) should say that he/she is very happy with their coach and that they are aware progress takes time and are happy with their rate of progress, and that they would appreciate the soliciting coach not defame their coach to their faces again. I know that if anyone suggested I take lessons from them and leave my coach, I would laugh in their faces- I have the best coach I could ever ask for, and I don't need a complete stranger meddling in my bussiness and telling me otherwise. If you don't have that kind of confidence in your coach, then it's your choice whether or not to accept other peoples' solicitations. But if you're happy, you won't want to leave- again, much like a romatic relationship. A pretty girl/boy can approach you, but if you are fullfilled where you are at, it will not tempt you. IF you believe the soliciting coach, it's your choice to do so, and you are still leaving your current coach willingly.

That's just my view on this, I know it isn't a popular one.

[jazzpants]

But if you're happy, you won't want to leave- again, much like a romatic relationship. A pretty girl/boy can approach you, but if you are fullfilled where you are at, it will not tempt you. IF you believe the soliciting coach, it's your choice to do so, and you are still leaving your current coach willingly.

That's just my view on this, I know it isn't a popular one.FWIW, I've been with my current primary coach since the beginning and I don't think I could ever find a better coach than him... He's not perfect though... which is why I have a secondary coach, but for what I need in a primary coach, he's the best!!! (And trust me, I have had at least two skaters tell me to dump my primary coach. But as you mentioned, it's like a romantic relationship. He's been with me since the beginning! I just can't dump this one! *getting all sappy here so I'll just stop now* :P )

[Skate@Delaware]

I take group lessons (in an adults-only class). I asked my coach for recommendations on private coaching. I know she is way to busy to take me on herself, as head of the department, etc. She recommended someone. I followed up. I hadn't heard from her, but we met at a club function and now I'm her student. It's kind of weird and she is a bit younger than me but she is highly recommended and has excellent skills as a skater!

We will meet up again when our rink re-opens; just to go over my goals (pre-bronze test!) and where I'm at now (oh, dear!)....I'm sure she will meet up with my group coach and let her in on what we've been working on and I'm hoping for clear communication between the three of us! I've already told her I'm hard of hearing (asked that she face me when she speaks) and that hasn't put her off....my coach told her that I work hard! I guess when you consider that I practically live at the rink-it must be true!! :D

Now I'm in the world with the rest of you and guess for now must be ever mindful of the potential for coach/student problems. I have followed this discussion and am really paying attention. Suppose if I have a problem with my coach, I should just talk to her or to my group coach (she oversees all the coaches at the rink). I definately don't want to do anything seen as wrong or unethical!

[plinko]

I'm asking this on behalf of a friend. I'm perfectly happy with my own coach.

If your child is not happy with her present coach, as a parent, what is the protocol for looking for a new coach? Do you have to tell your present coach that you're "interviewing" elsewhere? Do you have to fire your present coach before talking to new coaches? What do you say to prospective coaches without violating any ethical guidelines?

My friend's child is taking dance from another coach, and likes this coach but is not happy with the base coach as there is little to no communication and the child is not happy. They'd like to switch the to dance coach as full time coach but don't even know what to say when they call. They'd like to have the "new" coach's opinion and evaluation and discuss where that coach sees the child going in the sport but that would mean in a round about way discussion of the current coaching methods and technique.

[Novice Spirals]

Remember this when you change coaches: You are essentially firing someone and telling them you don't want to pay them for their teaching anymore. That should be treated with dignity and respect.
The new coach you contact should, out of respect for the other coach, contact them and tell them a current student has approached them. Nothing is worse than walking into the rink and seeing your student working with another coach without your knowledge.
I have two coaches and they communicate every week regarding my skating. If you coach hop, you get a reputation for being hard to please and risk no one wanting to teach you. Having said that, if you are not happy with your coaches' teaching, make a change. BUT, make a change for the right reasons: you're not progressing, the coach is unreliable and misses lessons, the coach puts you down, the coach doesn't share your goals.

Don't change coaches because of stuff you've "heard" or rink politics. I truly believe that even elite skaters need another pair of eyes. If someone thinks they can coach themselves, they are living in a dream world. We all need those other eyes. It's worth it to me to pay someone seasoned who knows skating and competing to correct me. I would never presume to know it all where my skating is concerned.

As far as being friends with your coach, I am friends with both of mine and it works for me. It may not work for everyone, but since I'm an adult, I like having that relationship. I feel like they understand me because they know me. I trust them and they trust me. I've found a formula that works. We all need to find what works for us.

[vesperholly]

The only real etiquette as far as the coaches I know is that before you start with a new coach, you should pay all the outstanding bills for the old coach. This is basically coaches protecting each other to make sure no one can be truant - if you aren't paid up, and no coach will take you until you are, you're SOL when it comes to lessons.

I have switched coaches twice and did not tell the one I was leaving until I actually left them. We did not part on bad terms, but I am at the same rink and club as they are, so I was very careful to maintain friendly relationships with them.

[Chico]

This is a sensitive topic for students and coaches alike. My best advice is to be professional, honest and kind. I've changed coaches....I've had friend coaches be fired by skating peers....It's always painful. Be respectful whichever situation your in. Time heals much.

Chico