oh help...she's fallen for ice dance....

[JD]

My teeny little one has fallen for ice dance. Hard.

she was talking about it over the past year or so, we never took her seriously...obviously a big mistake...but she received an invitation from her section to attend a clinic John Briscoe was at. We thought whats the harm, we'll go, she'll have fun...she won't like dancing with a boy....[yeah, whatever]..apparently WOS is in dire need of skaters for dance at the lower levels, Briscoe is telling us all that ice dance is sadly languishing...

little did we know, we'd go and she'd find a partner. Who knew??? Its not like she's all that big herself, so the chances of finding someone size wise wasn't that good. And of course, all the right things,-- he's small for his age,they are only a dance apart, both working on same stuff in singles, he's everything we'd want, nice. considerate, --hehehe, he was even looking everywhere for her when she slipped off to the bathroom. and when all skaters were all stroking around the ice, he looked back and forward to check and watch for her. Mr. Briscoe [for those who know him] told them they looked great together and were a "perfect match"...the other coach said they look really good together and are a perfect match, and the boy was asking her if she would dance with him....so the lovely thing about this whole scenario is....

hahahahaha....the boy is 1.5 hours away---and we have the right coach!!![they only went to worlds in ice dance 4 times, toured with Torvill and Dean, etc etc... [they are where we live of course!!]

so, people, what do we do? Is it reasonable to ask the boy's parents if the kids can spend some time together here...are we being really, really stupid, since it isn't like our skater isn't a talented singles skater [who will not give up the singles side of skating and do only dance at her tender age]...but do we take away an opportunity that-well, its not like boys are all over the place just waiting for partners....but we are really really wary of ice dance...given the tendancy of males to leave their partners the whole threads dedicated to this topic are blaring at me silently...[plus we were around for the whole trauma of McCabe and Innes, McCall and Tshirhart]...and why on earth can't someone check our child's brain and tell her she really doesn't like ice dance....

oh, the fun and games...cheers all....

[Sk8Bunny]

Heres my suggestion, gather both his parents, himself, your family(including your daughter) and both his and your daughters coaches. Have a meeting and discuss what the two skaters hold in their future, how far they want to go, what they are willing to sacfrice(this including traveling 1.5 hrs to the others rink to skate) and what you as parents are willing to sacfrice(this inclduing driving those 1.5 hours). Decide who will be the main coach for these dancers, but if you want your daughter to continue singles, than keep her singles coach too, no matter who her dance coach is. I have a friend who used to skate pairs and she and her partner lived about 1hr away, and twice a week they drove to his rink, and twice a week he drove to theirs. Even though you like your current coach, make sure the boys parents and the boy himself are willing to switch to your coach. Keep an open mind about their opinions and feelings, for this is probably all new to them too. As for your question about partners breaking up, well, i would suggest making sure that your daughter and the boy have a strong friendship. this is the most important thing. if they get along well and are considerate of each other both on and off the ice, then on ice they will go a long ways cause they will work hard and be a good team on ice. so make sure they want to ice dance and be a team. as a parent, i cant urge you enough to allow your daughter to try ice dance. maybe she will give up in a year? who knows. but singles is a hard discpline, many injuries, and stuff. as a fairly young skater myself, i want to skate pairs sooooo badly, but no one will take me seriously or help me try it. its a horrible feelings. theres this wish, this strive, that cant be fulfilled and its very hard to accept, so if you can give your daughter a chance to try ice dance, im sure it would mean the world to her. look at it this way, be glad shes asking to try ice dnacing and not something else like drugs, alcohol, or something. ice dancing will teach her good discpline. just make sure theres good communication between all of you and that the kids are enjoying themselves and having fun skating. good luck!!

[Isabelle]

I agree with Sk8Bunny -- you should all get together and talk about what you want to do. And as an ice dancer myself, I definately think it's the right thing to do to let her try it. It IS a crazy sport, so crazy that sometimes I'm like "Why am I doing this again?", but I just love it!

[Aussie Willy]

Do you mind me asking how old your teeny one is?

I think it is wonderful and you should definately encourage her. The main thing is for them to have fun and to be friends. They just don't have to work on the dances themselves all the time. They can have lots of fun trying new moves and just playing together (kids can do fun things like pull throughs and wheelbarrows - I assume they are the age for this). They could even do a short freedance together to maybe perform at the end of year skating show.

Like the others, I would suggest speaking to the boy's parents and come to some mutual arrangement about practise times. But your daughter is very lucky to find a boy who would even be interested in dancing with a girl. You cannot predict the future or that even in twelve months they will both still be skating, but there is no harm in giving it a go - nothing ventured, nothing gained! As they are kids the main thing is for it to be fun!!!

BTW - we look forward to seeing photos of them together.

[BABYSKATES]

I think you have a great situation! You have already been encouraging your daughter in the area of dance (except it was meant to improve and strengthen her singles skating). Dance will only help her. If she is good at it and wants to do it, that's great. She may decide that is the area of skating she really desires. If she only does it for a short while, she will likely have improved speed, improved basic skating, fabulous edges and artistry to take back with her to singles skating.

Good luck! It's always an adventure...

[JD]

Aussie Willy....

she's only 11, but just now 51 lbs... (she's gained a few pounds finally!!)

and doing well with singles skating....grin...

Everyone is right about sacrifice...I think we're hoping if we decide to do this that we'll be able to meet halfway...like 45 mins apart...since, interestingly enough, the coaches we'd like to use [also her own for dance/artistic/skills] went to senior worlds in ice dance four times and toured with Torvill and Dean, live sort of in the middle-and coach there too.

I guess I just don't want to see her give up singles work for dance only to have it not work. and more importantly, I can't imagine how we could possibly do both at the same time---unless we are able to come to some sort of arrangement like the 45 min option--because as far as we know, he doesn't have a highly qualified dance coach at his rink...and even then, I wonder if we can live with all this time driving around....big grin...

[arena_gal]

Oh I don't know what to think, I've formulated several responses and deleted before posting. I think the travel time will become wearing and I think you should be absolutely sure that you and the boys parents have the same expectations and agree on financial commitment.
You could do very well right away, as there's practically no competition until novice level.
Don't give up singles, not at her age yet anyway. She might decide to like pairs, too.

[JD]

grin...oh there will be no giving up singles thats for sure....she loves to jump and spin,and the jumps are really strong....but,I think she finds the creativity of dance liberating if it makes any sense....and if you can say that while ignoring the compulsaries. It doesn't help that she is in love with virtually every type of off ice dance there is---and is very good at it...she's done ballroom, ballet, jazz, lyrical, modern, loves it all...we wound up doing most of these things outside of ballet, mainly because our floors couldn't stand the "creative movement" which started every day after school with the stereo blaring for three hours...all for the purpose of creating her own dances....hahahaha...

as for the pairs,she is very scared of them....she has seen three or four teams in action on practice ice and was not at all impressed-loved the idea of being lifted, but was not at all comfortable with the thought of being thrown... and several coaches have tried to interest her....plus we too are terrified of extreme injuries one can get in pairs...[though I know the injuries are in every section of the sport]...also, although this is a personal note, I'm not sure I like the way pairs are going in Ontario-in particular with the 10-11 yr olds pairing up with 17-20 year olds....I have a problem with that....and at least in rinks we're at, thats the way it seems to be going...

as for the doing well, its not really that which we are concerned about. well is all relative... grin...I'm not sure that the minimal competition until novice would be a good thing for a little girl who thrives on the toughest challengers and is ultra competitive...

as for the traveling, thats what our concern is. I wonder if its worth it to pursue this. on the other hand, I can't believe we're actually debating this. [we were always the people who didn't think ice dancing was legit...now putting on the flame retardent clothing] and I guess on one hand we're amazed she'd like it...and on the other...oh well, who knows???? But yes, weary from traveling definately comes to mind. The financial commitment, we have no problems with on our end. and yes, we will be concerned about the other side. I guess at this point, we are still deliberating if we even want to pursue it.. I think we're still in the "shock and awe" phase :) :)

[arena_gal]

I think you should do this, but set a time limit. Agree to train with TheBoy, maybe twice a week, whatever fits, and go through the compulsory dances for a while, and then re-evaluate.

Summer is coming, school will be out, and that logistical nightmare will be gone for a while, put some extra time and mileage into ice dance. There's someone else I think you should talk to too, am sending a PM.

[icenut84]

I agree with the comments about meeting up with the boy/his parents/your daughter/coaches, to discuss things and to know where you all stand etc. I think if she likes it so much you should let her try it. She loves singles, so you don't have to worry about her giving that up. Can I ask how often she skates, practicing singles? Substituting one or two sessions a week for dance sessions with this boy should be ok - I don't think it'd hurt her singles skating, and the extra skills she'll pick up will greatly benefit it. As for the distance - that's a decision you'll have to make together. Yes, it's a lot of time to spend travelling, but that's the way it is sometimes. I myself travel at least 1.5 hours each way to a rink, and I'm nowhere near the level of doubles (is that what she's doing?). I do it anyway, because I love to skate, and if you're daughter feels the same, it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Apparently Stephane Lambiel travels 4 hours each way on public transport to train, and he's among the best in the world! Sometimes it's just what you've got to do. The situation with the boy skater, the ideal coaches being half-way between you, both their enthusiasm... it sounds almost perfect. Give it a go - what have you got to lose?