Rant---Parents---ARGHHH!!!

[garyc254]

I went to a terrific Spring ice show at a local rink this past weekend. I got a real kick out of watching the youngsters (and a couple of oldsters) show off what they've learned. I especially enjoy watching the Tot 3 - 4 level. They are usually the hit of the show as they proudly march around the rink.

The skating club that sponsored the show had sufficient left-over awards and trophies that they called all of the participants back onto the ice after the show and gave each one an award. Not 1st, 2nd, 3rd place, mind you, but just an award. Kind of a cool idea.

NOT!!!!! Two skating mothers got highly incensed because their "darlings" skated in two of the show programs, but only got one award. They demanded a second "trophy".

Listening to the two of them speak and the comments their daughters made, I've already surmised:

Both skaters are total inconsiderate witches.

Both mother's think their skaters are close to being Michelle Kwan and should probably be in the next Olympics.

Both mothers and skaters are there for one thing... ALL OF THE GLORY I CAN GET OR STEAL

Rant over....thank you. I feel better.

[Elsy2]

Oh brother :roll: You just can't make some people happy. When I see this kind of attitude I just think.....patience.....it won't be long before they get hit with the reality of real competition as they move up the skating levels, and they will be humbled. Often these sort of parents end up quitting in a snit anyway.

[jp1andOnly]

you can't please everyone. Trust me, being a teacher I know. :roll:

Our skating club had to ban the use of soloists. This is becasue the solos were given to those skaters who had been to all Ontario, Canadians or qualified for Sectionals via sub sectionals/ If there were any spots available they were given out by audition. The parents went crazy about why so and so was chosen and it turned into an all out war. So now, when they do do carnival its only group numbers and features of a small group of skaters together. Oh brother

[Azlynn]

At our club, one parent was irate as his daughter didn't get her picture in the paper at all during the skating year, while others had. Nevermind that those with pictures had all competed and won medals... and his daughter hadn't. He was filled with plans to call the paper and get to take a picture. Still haven't seen it in the paper. ;) :roll:

[supersk8er]

Jeeze! Parents can be so crazy sometimes! And what I find, is that the craziest parents are from the smallest clubs...There was this one small club that I can remember where quite a few people had solo's, but one mother thought her daughter's program was shorter than everyone else's...SO, she brought out a timer, timed everyone's programs, then timed her daughter's...turns out it was slightly shorter...So of course, an extra 10 seconds was added on to her daughter's original tape...It was SO ridiculous!!!

[Norlite]

I hear you all. We are a small club and have a couple of those nuts too.

It really is a shame because 9 times out of 10, the little skaters are sweethearts, and the parents behaviour does reflect on the kids. You try your best not to let that happen, but really, who wants to deal with the parent if you don't have to.

On another note, anyone ever notice how the ones that are the most unreasonable, and most demanding, are the least to volunteer to make that show / competition / awards banquet / or daily lessons happen?
They seems to run and hide when there is work to be done.

[kayskate]

It is absolutely amazing how selfish and greedy people can be. And how terribly foolish. If they could only see themselves. It sounds terribly embarrassing.

Sadly, they are a role model for their children. Wonder how the kids will turn out...

Kay

[blue111moon]

My very small club solved that problem by allowing EVERYONE to do a solo - the only group numbers in our annual exhibition are for the kids in group lessons and the group of teenagers who help coach them. It makes for a not-very-thrilling evening but you'd think everyone would be happy with their moment in the spotlight, right?

Wrong! Now the parents quibble over the ORDER of appearance. We used to do it by test level but having eight or ten Pre-Pre skaters in a row gets boring for spectators, so now we use a random draw, with the only exceptions being the graduating seniors who get to pick their spots. But someone always complains that So-andSo's spot is "better" than My Lil Darling's and since "MLD" is the higher tester or won more medals or has been in the club longer, they should switch places. We solve that problem by not letting anyone see the order until the programs are printed and then it's too late to change the order.

No matter what you do, someone will complain.

As for the complainers who do nothing to help, I've learned to listen to their "Why don't you... and you should do it this way" rants with a smile and then sweetly suggest that if they don't like the way we've done it this time, then they can take on the job the next time. It's amazing how quickly they change their tunes. If nothing else, it's fun to watch them sputter and struggle to come up with excuses about why they're TOOOOOO busy to take it on. Then my response is a mild "well, then I guess we'll just have to do it the way we have been, then."

[garyc254]

Originally posted by Norlite
On another note, anyone ever notice how the ones that are the most unreasonable, and most demanding, are the least to volunteer to make that show / competition / awards banquet / or daily lessons happen?
They seems to run and hide when there is work to be done.

I've also seen the ones that don't run away, they run for club president so they can call the shots. 8O :roll: :evil: :twisted: :?:

Usually the rest of the club falters if they get elected.

And heaven forbid you get two parents like that on the board. They team up to the exclusion of everyone else.

[Candleonwater]

Oh, can I jump in here! :)

This seems to be pretty common in the world of figure skating!

Last summer (first day of the skating camp) we were told - if your child would like to do a solo, let your instructor know. Now, my child loves to grab any spotlight she can, so she asked. A friend of hers, who wasn't there the first day, asked if they could do a duet, but my daughter told her that she'd much prefer doing a solo. So the other mother got her nose out of joint because by this point, all solo spots were gone!

Holiday show - solos are pretty much handed out to the high level skaters, but my daughter was asked if she would like one. Of course she did, but BOY the grief I took over that one!

Now, I've learned to avoid those parents!

[arena_gal]

Ugh. Parents. (uh huh, I'm one)

I did awards this year. I gave out so many awards it would make your head spin. I gave out awards on awards, so many awards that it made the parents extremely happy. We totally blew our awards budget. Watch for our fee increase next year.

I think the skaters had a good time:twisted:

[Magz]

wow the parents at our club aren't that bad...except for the parents of kids in group lessons...since i help coach them i've heard lots of parent claiming im not paying enough attention to their darling or that their darling is too good for that level and demand they be moved up...and then there are the parents who just say u haven't been doing enough of these moves or whatever...we've even had parents re-do programs because they didnt like the way it was choreographed :twisted:

[Mazurka Girl]

Originally posted by garyc254
I've also seen the ones that don't run away, they run for club president so they can call the shots. 8O :roll: :evil: :twisted: :?:
I bet the President of my club wouldn't agree with you about that. They are a hardworking bunch & the President generally doesn't even vote except in the case of ties. Just does lots of work & is not appreciated for it. I think most of the parents on my club board have grown kids, which means they do the work for everyone else's kids & all the nasty parents who won't do it or think they are too good to do it. Of course, there are clubs around here where the President is the mother of some little thug (or may be one herself) too. My point is that there are all different kinds of people running the clubs & all different kinds of parents.

As for the kind of parents you are decribing, they are very APPARENT (lol, punny!) everywhere during the year. Don't even get me started if you want to trade horror stories - you'll be reading all night. :twisted:

[arena_gal]

We had a parent try to change the freestyle schedule so that her kid could do her piano lesson, then dance lesson, then figureskate and then something else. She thought nothing that changing the session from hi/lo to lo/hi would inconvenience 30 other skaters, their parents, their babysitter, their carpool drivers, oh no. She just thought that we were being deliberately mean to her and were trying to keep her little darling from being the best figure skater ever.

(well ok, after she tried to get the coaches to take her side, the board did get, "ahem" a little nasty).

The sad part is that her daughter is a pretty good skater, just very overscheduled.

[tazsk8s]

Originally posted by arena_gal
and were trying to keep her little darling from being the best figure skater ever.

There is always one in every crowd...sigh...

A couple of weeks ago Taz Jr. and I competed in a local competition. We have one woman from our rink who has long had a reputation as a "skate mother". All the stereotypes - her darling is going to the Olympics, of course - you name it. One coach had already dropped her as a student because she just couldn't deal with the mother anymore. Skatemom's kid and mine were in the same group. The history has always been that Skatemom's kid has always placed ahead of mine. Neither one of them had all that great of a skate. Taz Jr. fell on both 2sal attempts :!: , but did land a nice 2toe at the end of the program and that jump typically gives her fits so it was nice to see that, anyway. Skatemom's kid only fell once, but stepped out of a couple of other jumps, heavily under-rotated others, and generally did not have a stellar skate. When results were posted, Skatemom's kid and Taz Jr. were in a tie for 6th, Skatemom's kid got it on the TOM tiebreaker and Jr. dropped to 7th. We've witnessed ill behavior on the part of the mother before when darling doesn't place well, and we knew just to get OUT of there quickly. Good thing. I since came to find out that Skatemom publicly SCREAMED at her kid, called her a loser and a failure "because she tied with Taz Jr". Kid was later seen by a relative of mine at the hotel, still crying and carrying on, so I have no doubt this continued even after they left.

Thank goodness we missed this. I know I couldn't have kept my mouth shut if I'd have seen it personally, and the absolute LAST thing Jr. needs is to hear something like this, even though she knows Skatemom is somewhat psycho to begin with, I have no doubt it would have been completely devastating to her confidence, which can already be an issue to begin with. Where does this woman get off calling her kid a failure, or implying that mine is? I'm not overly friendly with this woman anyway, but won't even bother discussing the weather with her anymore. Mess with me, fine. I'm an adult and I can at least deal with her on an equal level. But do NOT mess with my kid. Ever. There are NO second chances on this one, and her behavior with her own kid is pretty close to mental abuse, IMHO.

Taz, in Taz Rant Mode...:evil:

[arena_gal]

That's something that you need to video and then send it to the parent a few years later, although the damage is already done.

We have SkateDad syndrome this year with a couple at the rink. There's hockey players in their families and it is really freaky to have "HockeyDad" morph into SkateDad. I honestly thought that one of them wanted to punch out the judges when little darling didn't place well.

[*dani-skates*]

my club is great, there are politics of course but on the whole anyone who wants a solo gets one and the skating order is drawn completely randomly. There is one guy at my club who is the nicest person you will ever meet and is incredibly talented but the club chairmans son is his biggest rival (despite the fact that boys are best friends) my friend with the talent always gets bad spots for the shows and minor parts in our 'ice theatre" productions when he should be the star. We have skater parents but mosty they are ok people who are supportive of all skaters.

[yuffie]

Geez I know what you mean. Nutso skate parents on the loose! That kind of stuff happens all the time.

[Lee]

Nutso parents happen in skating...in hockey...in soccer, baseball...take your pick. If there's a competitive sport and parents around anywhere, there are bound to be parents-from-hell. Sad, isn't it?

[garyc254]

Originally posted by Mazurka Girl
I bet the President of my club wouldn't agree with you about that. They are a hardworking bunch

Oh, I do agree with you. Most are very hard working. I'm describing the FEW who run. Not that they get elected always.