What do you do?

[teresa]

So, I would like input on how others deal with frusteration and self doubt in skating. Usually I like to think I have a positive attitude. But some days I do struggle. I have seen and heard many skaters sturggle with this deamon. I'm aware it's just not me. I'm hoping that you can share what helps you and how you avoid going to this place.

When I'm doing a good job I focus on what I have learned. I have come a long way from not knowing how to stop! I focus on kind compliments. When I'm struggling I get lost in my mistakes and falling apart moments. Some days things just. . .suck. =-0 I have seen the boards kicked and skaters cry. I haven't done this but some days I sure feel like it. As an adult I can't go here!

teresa

[RachelSk8er]

1) I remind myself that skating is what I do now for fun, for exercise, and to de-stress...it should not be stressing me out.

2) I stop doing whatever is stressing me out (whether it's a jump, a spin, a dance, part or all of my moves test, my program) and move on to something else...one of my favorite things to do in the lowest of frustrated slumps where nothing on the ice is going right (other than go home and take a nap) are basics. Stroking, 3 turns, edge work, basically stuff off the prelim-pre juv MIF tests.

3) Get off the ice and go do something productive with my time/take a mini-break. Sometimes I'll plan on skating 2 hrs....if the first session goes bad, I won't stay another hour. Or if I am dragging myself too much to get to the rink because I had a busy week with work school and need the extra sleep, I listen to my body and skip skating and rest (most of my frustration on the ice stems from always being stressed and physically/mentally worn out). I know not everyone can do this without losing $$...I don't contract ice so it works out. Club ice at both rinks I skate at is on a prepaid punch card/coupon book system so you don't lose $$ if you skip a day of skating, and non-club sessions at my main rink are pay-as-you-go.

4) Think of all the people who wish they could do even half of what you can do.

[doubleloopy]

1. Get off the ice and sit down for a few minutes. I tell myself to get over *whatever is the problem* and just do it. A few minutes off ice gives me time to regroup, so to speak, and get some confidence.

2. Decide on a limited time of practicing the element. I might think, "OK, 5 more minutes of footwork", or "only 10 attempts at this jump". This motivates me to try harder, because after the 5 minutes/10 attempts, I stop, and move on to something else - and I hate stopping something when it's not the best I could have done. So it pushes me to try.

3. If nothing is going well, I move on to doing something "easy" but still useful to practice - crossovers, field moves, single jumps. I concentrate on perfecting the basics and remind myself of how much I can do. Or I practice fun things - spread eagles, Biellmanns etc to remind myself that skating is for fun, not stressing out.

4. After a while, I come back to the problem element, again limiting myself to a certain amount of practice.

5. If the whole session has been awful, you just have to let it go. I think about how it has been character building and what I can learn from it. I also become more determined to do better next time.

I would say - don't fight the feelings of frustration and self doubt. The quicker you accept them, self-evaluate, and move on, the better for you. It's OK and normal to have bad days, and to think negatively, but after the day, you must move on and be positive about the next day.

[Skate@Delaware]

Recognize that there WILL be some days where NOTHING goes right, usually when we are run down, tired, coming down with something or for no particular reason.

There are days when everything is golden and we hit it on the head!

Take each session for what it's worth, don't beat yourself up. If your spins are off, work on jumps (if you are jumping) or footwork, edges, etc.

Take time to review your accomplishments-track all of your achievements, but don't perseverate over the time factor. Adults are in a totally different category than the kids and different rules apply. It will happen just at a different pace.

Realize that you ARE skating and in a minority compared to the rest of the lounge-sitting tv-watching population!!!!!

[Mrs Redboots]

If I am having One of Those Days, I get off the ice as soon as possible. After all, I know quite well that I'll be skating better next time.

[fsk8r]

Oh, I so have those days. I'm so good at beating myself up about my skating. It doesn't even have to be a bad day on the ice for me to do it, I just do it to myself sometimes. I've been very frustrated of late, because I've physically been unable to do stuff and it really takes from my self-confidence which creates a viscious circle. So I tend to avoid whatevers causing the problem and go do something else. Lately I've been unable to do back double 3's so I imposed a practice ban on them. I only did them when asked in lessons. Partly this was self-preservation as I was taking a lot of falls on them and with a dodgy back, I don't need a fall, but it was also avoidance tactic. And slowly with my coaches both telling me there's nothing wrong with them, I started believing them again and refound the confidence.
But with a lot of things I'm struggling with it, it's quite often then new things and so I just remind myself that I wasn't even attempting it a year ago, and the fact that I'm even doing it is a success.
And for those really bad days at the rink, I find a friend on the ice to work with and just mess around (and try those fun things which you don't mind not being able to do - like sitting on the ice trying a shoot the duck!).

[Skate@Delaware]

It's one of those things that I think every adult skater goes through! We are so result-driven (not necessarily OCD ;)) we are too close to our skating to see the small progress we make over time...not quite as obvious as a slap in the face but a slow steady progression.

Keeping a training log/journal is good, you can track your progress and you can focus on the NOW. Goal-setting is also good, make is appropriate and realistic, your coach can help with that. (I had once set very unrealistic goals, my coach brought me down to earth and I was so upset I cried in front of her-she felt bad but it was a very good lesson learned).

On those really really bad days, yes I get off the ice, because I know a bad fall is coming soon. I'm either getting sick or just run down and not wanting to acknowledge it.

[Rusty Blades]

It's one of those things that I think every adult skater goes through! We are so result-driven (not necessarily OCD ;)) we are too close to our skating to see the small progress we make over time...

Indeed I find that to be the case!

Thankfully I have two coaches who are both fairly attuned to my moods and when I get in that mood, they remind me just how far I have come in 3 years.

Being "a returning skater" (albeit after a 36 year absence) it is SO easy to look back at my teens and what I could do then and feel like throwing my skates in the dumpster. I have to look at the opposite side, how FEW skaters there are in my age group (I will be 60 in a couple of months) at Adult Nationals and feel proud for being there at my age. If you can't out-perform them, out-last 'em! 8O:mrgreen:

[Skate@Delaware]

Wednesday night was one of those nights (lesson night)...But, I have a fantastic coach and she said "for every negative comment we should find 7 positive points to make" so here is what she said:

1. You were on time
2. You are clean
3. You smell nice
4. I like your earrings
5. Your glove bling matches your earrings...

...by that time we were both laughing, it was very funny! My skating was very much on the bottom rung that night!

[skaternum]

Skate@Delaware, I love that your coach does that. My coach always starts every commentary on a Move or element by telling me what I did right or what she liked before she tells me what to fix. And she never gives me more than 2 things at a time to fix!

So if I'm having One Of Those Days when I'm not in a lesson, I try to apply that principle myself. When I suck, I try to find something good about what I'm sucking at. If I can't, I leave that element and go do something that I don't suck at. :giveup: And then I can find something good about THAT element. :)

[RachelSk8er]

2. Decide on a limited time of practicing the element. I might think, "OK, 5 more minutes of footwork", or "only 10 attempts at this jump". This motivates me to try harder, because after the 5 minutes/10 attempts, I stop, and move on to something else - and I hate stopping something when it's not the best I could have done. So it pushes me to try.


This is crucial. Insanity=doing the same thing over and expecting different results. And after spending too long on something, you just end up developing bad habits. I learned this last year with my axel...spending almost an entire session flinging myself in the air was not going to get me anywhere.

[londonicechamp]

Hi Rusty Blades

I really admire your determination to start your skating at close to age 60 years old. Keep up the good work. :)

Hi Teresa

Well, every skating, myself included had good days and bad days. On bad days when I cannot do my spins properly, I just gave up on spins, work on dance sequence and basic stuff such as double 3s, twizzles and barrel rolls. When I am really bad, then I think back to stuff that I was not able to do when I gave up skating 4 years ago after 7 years of skating, but now able to do. It sometimes made me laugh how I can do some things easily on ice now yet not able to do them when I stopped 4 years ago. :lol: When I have really bad days, that is keep on falling on the ice (in fact this has not happened for a long time now), I then decide to call it a day, go home and sleep, as I find that lack of sleep and stress from work are sometimes the reason why I am not able to do things on ice properly.

londonicechamp

[kander]

Everybody has up and down days. I've noticed that there is little carryover from one session to another. It all seems random. One thing I try to do is not get my expectations up after having a good session, or not get down on myself after having a bad session. On the bad days I just tell myself that I can use the exercise and I don't worry about the skating.

[katz in boots]

... I've noticed that there is little carryover from one session to another. It all seems random. One thing I try to do is not get my expectations up after having a good session, or not get down on myself after having a bad session ...

Yeah, it is random, I never know what to expect really.

If it's just one element, I'll move onto something else and come back to it later in the session if I want to. If spins suck, I move onto jumps. If jumps suck, I'll do dance, footwork etc. When all else fails, I do laps & crossovers and just muck about, enjoying the feeling of skating.

Sometimes I get quite down about my perceived lack of progress, especially when I see others apparently improving faster. But in a rational moment I know everyone hits plateaux or just has a bad session.

[techskater]

Work on something that you enjoy doing and that you're good at, even if it's as simple as three turns or mohawks. It should perk up your mood.

Always finish a session with one of your best things as it will leave a favorable impression in your mind of the session no matter how bad it was beyond that

[singerskates]

When things are not working for me, I put them aside for a while and mix it up and try other elements or even move on to dance or just stroking around to the music that is on.
I could get very frustrated if I chose to and keep it deep down in my heart but that's not me. I like to say the cup is half full and be thankful for what I can do now.

When I had my work place accident in 2005, all the doctors except my chiropractor said because of where my herniated discs were that I'd never skate again. At that time I was struggling to walk, hold on to things, move my neck and so on. Just before the accident, I had my jumps up to a 2 Salchow. No guessing needed. I've proved them wrong. It may have taken me starting from scratch all over and struggling to get my stamina up again but me I'm hard headed. When someone or something backs me up into a wall, I come out fighting.

And like I tell all my skater friends from the kids I know just competing Pre-Prelim to Elite Senior to Professionals, "Just Have Fun!"

Just Have Fun! means to skate with joy in your heart, skating for you and no one else. If you have fun, no matter what your elements are like or not, the judges and/or audience will sense it and they will have fun too. And if you practice to have fun, you always win no matter what jump, spin, spiral, foot work, lift, throw or dance steps your are doing are done or how they are done. Medals, placements and/or passing tests are just icing on the cake. But if you don't choose to "Just Have Fun!", then you're missing the point of skating at all.

[Ivana27]

I had one of those days on Wednesday -- and during a private lesson at that. I had been making so much progress in the past month, and all of sudden it just went out the window.

I felt very frustrated, but I had to remind myself that everyone has an off-day at some point, and I was probably just tired. Next time will be better. Sometimes I get too focused on results, and forget that skating is supposed to be fun.

[PinkLaces]

I used to get really frustrated when I first started skating again after 20 years off ice. Even the easiest stuff was a struggle...I used to be able to do all this stuff in my teens. Why isn't coming back quicker? Once I decided to just start over and not focus on the past it's been less frustrating.

My new philosophy is every day can't be a great skate day. If I have a bad day, I just chalk it up to a bad skate day. Next session will be better. Another thing that helps is I keep a skate journal. I write down the good and bad of the practice and any advice my coach has given me. It helps to look at how far I've come. I also write down my 3-5 skate goals for the month at the end of each entry. I make them small & acheiveable. I find that if I write it out most likely I will acheive 3-5 of those goals.

[sk8ryellow]

Well for every negative statement you have to say five positive statements:halo:

[teresa]

Thank you for all the kind words and advice. =-) It helps tons to know others get frusterated and have bad days. I already knew this but it's good to hear it anyhow. I had one of those days last week and I guess I just needed support. All the tips were great!

Teresa

[niupartyangel]

i find that setting goals help keep things "fresh". when I first started skating as an adult, I didn't see myself as the competing or testing type. I just wanted to be able to "do things". Well, I was starting to get bored with my freestyle stuff in class because my progress has stalled, and even thought about quitting. The only thing that kept me from quitting was the thought that, if I quit, what would I do on weekends? And since going to the gym bores me (I do go but only 3x a week), i need to keep the fun in my fitness routine. I talked to my coach and she suggested I look into testing, and so I decided that I will work on the pre-bronze MIF test! So that's what we have been working on and I'm looking to test sometime in the summer. I am enjoying skating again, and practicing the test elements are REALLY doing a bad number on bad habits :twisted:

[Skate@Delaware]

That's really good to hear! goal-setting is wonderful and helps with focus so much!

I've gone up and down so much over the past few years and had setbacks and gains as well. Never a dull day!

[doubletoe]

I just imagine what I would do if I quit skating. . . and I realize that even on my worst skating day, I'd rather be on the ice than getting fat on the couch or doing some boring exercises in a gym! Gives me quite a bit of perspective. ;)

[niupartyangel]

I just imagine what I would do if I quit skating. . . and I realize that even on my worst skating day, I'd rather be on the ice than getting fat on the couch or doing some boring exercises in a gym! Gives me quite a bit of perspective. ;)

I agree wholeheartedly. Skating is a workout, but even when nothing seems to be going right, still beats a traditional workout in the gym where it is such a struggle to get through your half hour on the elliptical...on the ice, time just flies by even when you are just doing edges or waltz 8s.

[fsk8r]

I agree wholeheartedly. Skating is a workout, but even when nothing seems to be going right, still beats a traditional workout in the gym where it is such a struggle to get through your half hour on the elliptical...on the ice, time just flies by even when you are just doing edges or waltz 8s.

Still not worked out why going around in circles on the ice is not boring whilst going nowhere on a running machine is. It's not as if there's a change of scenery. But I'd rather be skating than at the gym. I can skate by myself and not have an issue doing things, I get bored at the gym and need friends to survive a circuit class.

[Sessy]

A good cry can be really helpful, seriously.

If you don't wanna do that, try re-laying your focus. First of all, as a woman, you have a menstrual cycle. Middle of this cycle, you're strong and feel less pain. This is the perfect time for learning new jumps. End of the cycle, you're low on energy (you're losing blood and iron and stuff) and also much more sensitive to pain as well as retaining fluids - even a pound or two can make a difference to some of your jumps, so have a quiet little workout with lots of edgework. Somewhere inbetween, there's a peak for flexibility too (forgot where exactly), make sure to stretch there cuz you can suddenly make a jump ahead in your flexibility there, no kidding. When I stretched daily, the progress went in monthly increments.

Make your corrections for your expectations for your cycle. It's only common sense.

Next, if you're losing or stuck in 1 field, and it just doesn't wanna progress, try to make a progress in other fields. Skating breaks down to: moves/figures, jumps, spins and flexibility. If you're stuck with 1 of those, take a look at the others. Chances are, you've been making lots of progress there. Also, they intervene with each other sometimes. Making a lot of progress on the jumps can make your flexibility suffer temporarily, poor flexibility (not just spine but everywhere) makes some spins harder, etc. If you're stuck with your jumps, work on your flexibility and spins. Or edges. Oftentime, better edges lead to better jumps and spins.

Basically, if you're stuck, re-focus. At least for me, it's always worked.

[doubleloopy]

Lately I've started writing up a detailed plan for what to practise (e.g.)
5.10 - Double toe
5.15 - footwork
5.30 - spins
etc..

This keeps me focused, makes sure I don't overwork one element (whether because I love it or am really frustrated with it) and gives me some sense of structure and accomplishment. Perhaps a coincidence, but since I've started this (a few weeks), I have not had a bad skating day, and I see a lot more positive things in each practice! So I would urge you to try this :)

P.S It also helped me a LOT with confidence by forcing me to practice certain elements I wasn't too keen to do. ;)

[IceSkateRuth]

well that's my biggest problem :( when i skate i'm always doubting myself and i don't have enough faith in myself. i think that's why i failed basic 4. but this summer i'm going back with a new attitude so i can do better :)

i'm 13 btw

[Skate@Delaware]

Still not worked out why going around in circles on the ice is not boring whilst going nowhere on a running machine is. It's not as if there's a change of scenery. But I'd rather be skating than at the gym. I can skate by myself and not have an issue doing things, I get bored at the gym and need friends to survive a circuit class.

My working out at the gym is so my skating is better! THAT is my incentive!

[fsk8r]

My working out at the gym is so my skating is better! THAT is my incentive!

Sorry, even that incentive is not enough to keep me at a gym. I can do a circuits class with other people with that incentive but not a running machine to nowhere.
I keep thinking I need to do other exercise to help my skating, but other than a ballet class (which I had to stop because work got in the way) I've not found anything that I've got any sticking power with.

[Elly86]

This is such a great thread. I have so many of these days, I'm glad to see I'm not alone. When it happens, I just try to remind myself that it gets better. Sometimes I'll just stroke around the rink (if I'm REALLY frustrated I'll see how fast I can go) or do little things that I thought were cool when I first started skating (like a one foot glide). That helps me remember why I started skating in the first place- because it's fun. My coach always tells me to move on to something else if I'm having trouble with something. She also tells me to keep a journal when things are good, bad, and why, but I've yet to try it.

One thing that always messes me up is when my blades start to get too dull. It always throws me off on spin entries and jump landings, so I try to stay on top of it now and it's helped. And like someone else mentioned, I also have trouble towards the end of my menstrual cycle. (Just another reason to hate it!) I read somewhere that PMS affects your equilibrium- don't know how true that is, but if so, it would definitely affect skating. Oh, and if I'm stressed forget about it.

The best thing to do when you're having a tough time is just try to hang in there and stay positive! Remember this thread and that it happens to everyone. :)

[phoenix]

I was in a slump after AN, burned out on working so hard.

I took a couple weeks off, then since I've come back I've been mainly working on things that are not for testing or competition--just for fun. Something new that has no pressure attached to it or expectations that it has to be good.

In my case, that's been working on an international dance that's actually 1 1/2 levels above what I'm really working on. You might try playing with some moves patterns that are a level or two above your current level. **If you do this, you need to remember you're doing it for fun, and NOT be worried about it if you can't do something--it doesn't matter! You're just playing!

Also in the past I've had a choreographer spend an hour w/ me & give me new straightline footwork, just for something new.

[Skate@Delaware]

Sorry, even that incentive is not enough to keep me at a gym. I can do a circuits class with other people with that incentive but not a running machine to nowhere.
I keep thinking I need to do other exercise to help my skating, but other than a ballet class (which I had to stop because work got in the way) I've not found anything that I've got any sticking power with.

Keep at it, you will find something that motivates you!

[fsk8r]

Keep at it, you will find something that motivates you!

I think it's called skating!

[Mrs Redboots]

Years and years ago, before this forum was thought of and many of us posted on an old udel e-mail list, we used to say that you start skating because it means you don't have to go to the gym, but you end up going to the gym anyway, because it helps your skating!

I haven't actually been to a gym, but I have done some off-ice training! Not, probably, as much as I should.