Time to change coaches?

[Skatermom760]

My daughter had skated with her current coach for fourteen months. She had improved tremendously. However, I had started to notice a change of attitude from my daughter... We have to drive one hour and twenty minutes to get to the rink. Even though my daughter did not like to get up at 3:30, she will get on the ice eagerly for her lesson. Lately, she had been dreading to go to her lesson, even complaining about stomach cramps... I took her to spend a week during the holiday to see her other coach at another rink and lo and behold, she landed her axel, and double sal all on the same week. When we went back to our regular rink to take her lesson with her main coach, the axel disappeared and she had stomach cramps again. She told me she really enjoy skating with her other coach and wanted to skate with her full time. But because of the distance, its 2 1/4 hours, it is simply not possible. I really don't want to waste my money on unproductive lessons anymore, but there are no coaches in our home rink that I think is really a good match with my daughter. I really don't want to change coaches knowing that it's not right for my daughter. Help!!!

[sk8tmum]

When you watch the lessons: what does the body language tell you? Does there appear to be a positive or negative rapport? What is the reputation of the primary coach vis a vis skater satisfaction, skater turnover, skater longevity in the sport? What has your daughter told you about conversations between her and the coach? Have you asked the coach if there is any problem going on? Has your daughter told you why she wants to work with the other coach?

We fired one coach after my daughter finally told us what was going on ... turned out that her rep and turnover, etc., was horrific. We were novice parents who didn't know what to look for in a coach. It took 1-1/2 years to get our daughter less gunshy of coaches and feeling good about her skating, and it only happened through the efforts of an amazing coach who we switched her to.

We kept another coach through a pitched battle with her and our kid, in part because of her amazing reputation and our own observations, and we were right in the long run, so it's a hard decision to make. Mediation can be an option if it's just a "bump in the road" ... we went that way ourselves and were very happy in the end.

[Virtualsk8r]

Wow - getting up at 3:30am to skate at that level is really tough. I'd have stomach cramps too once in a while, just to sleep in!

Seriously - the reputation of a coach and the actual ability to coach are not necessarily the same or equal. Keep in mind that many of the world's top coaches did not start out with their star skaters --- someone else did all the hard work. At the elite level coaching is more about managing or producing a star skater than it is about teaching. Elite coaches manage many many skaters and have a phalanx of specialists who work with the skaters. Good coaches can work with skaters of all levels but don't always produce champions because those skaters simply outgrow their home rink and move on. And, world champions don't always have the skills to actually teach either.

That said -- unless you are sure this coach that gets you up at 3:30am is really worth sacrificing so much for -- I would take a closer look at the coaches in your home rink. Are you sure no one there is certified and capable of teaching your child all the double jumps and is savvy to the new judging system?

Save the longer drive to the coach your daughter seems to prefer - for school breaks and days off school (which will make it even more special) and take some time back for a normal life by skating closer to home for a while. If your child gets better physically because they are allowed to sleep in - then you know it was the right decision.

[Skatermom760]

I would love to get up at 6:00 instead of 3:30. Unfortunately, the closest rink to us is the rink one hour and twenty minutes away. A little rink just open up by us--they have one hour of freestyle on Monday at 8:30 am and another hour on Wed at 8:30 am. They also have public skating on Friday, Sat, and Sunday. During the week, they have public session on Monday and Tuesday from 2pm to 4pm. For a kid that is not home school, those hour are simply impossible.

[Virtualsk8r]

I would love to get up at 6:00 instead of 3:30. Unfortunately, the closest rink to us is the rink one hour and twenty minutes away. A little rink just open up by us--they have one hour of freestyle on Monday at 8:30 am and another hour on Wed at 8:30 am. They also have public skating on Friday, Sat, and Sunday. During the week, they have public session on Monday and Tuesday from 2pm to 4pm. For a kid that is not home school, those hour are simply impossible.

Can you do the 8:30am twice a week - and be late getting to school? I assume (correct me if I am wrong) that if your child is at the single axel and double salchow stage, they are probably still in elementary school and there's not jmuch to be missed by a hour lost of school a couple of times a week. In addition, you could add the 2-4pm session once a week by getting out of school early or carpooling with someone and then do the public skate on Saturday and Sunday - giving your child a total of at least 6or so hours a week. Plenty for that stage of development, especially if the child is now happier.

[CoachPA]

She told me she really enjoy skating with her other coach and wanted to skate with her full time. But because of the distance, its 2 1/4 hours, it is simply not possible. I really don't want to waste my money on unproductive lessons anymore, but there are no coaches in our home rink that I think is really a good match with my daughter. I really don't want to change coaches knowing that it's not right for my daughter. Help!!!

Well, from what your daughter told you about wanting to skate with her other coach full time, I'd say that perhaps a coaching change is right for your daughter.

You say you don't want to waste your money on unproductive lessons anymore, but think about it: would you rather continue to pay a coach whom your daughter does not enjoy skating with or spend that money toward the gas and travel expenses to a rink where your daughter actually enjoys skating at and with a coach whom she willingly wants to take lessons from?

It seems the issue here is not so much if you should make the switch but rather how you can accomodate that switch into your schedules (provided you go with the coach 2+ hours away). As others have suggested, perhaps carpooling or scheduling a longer lesson 1-2 days/week would be beneficial.

If you find, however, that you really cannot afford to sacrifice the time and money it will take for your daughter to skate at the rink that's farther away, perhaps take Virtualsk8r's suggestion and look closely at what coaching options you have available at your current rink. Ask to schedule trial lessons with the coaches you'd consider and go from there. (Most coaches will have no problem with this.) If after that you're still unsatisfied with the opportunities at your current rink, maybe you'll find that the long drive will pay off in the end.

[LilJen]

Keep in mind, too, that even a wonderful coach may or may not be the right coach for a certain person. Sometimes the synergy is there, and sometimes it isn't. Everyone has different personalites and approaches to learning and training, and sometimes if these don't align closely enough, it's time to think about another coach.

[yfbg722]

The biggest lesson I've learned from this sport is to really listen to my child. She has wanted to change coaches twice in her ten plus years in the sport and both times I put her off because I had developed a friendship with the coach and didn't want to rock the boat. Both times it got so bad she would plateau and want to quit skating. When I finally faced the facts and found her a new coach, lo and behold she would progress yet again and love the sport once more.

The coach is so integral to the whole process and as much as we might love the idea of having one coach for our child's entire career, in many cases that just isn't possible. Some coaches are better with some age groups, as noted elsewhere sometimes a move to another rink is necessary to fuel growth in the skater and sometimes a coach just doesn't have what it takes to help get a child to the next stage.

I would say listen to you child and make a change. My other lesson learned is to keep my distance from the coach! It's much easier to listen to your child's concerns if they aren't about your "friend"!

Good luck with your choice and I hope it all turns out well for you and your daughter.