When to leave a coach?

[AgnesNitt]

My last lesson, my coach answered her cell phone and spent 5 minutes saying 'no' to her granddaughter, then another 3 minutes telling me her story.
I'm easy going, but this irks me.
Also, I come last in the rearranging of schedules. The skaters before me are often late or want to switch because they forgot something, etc, or she needs to squeeze another student in bec of a show.test.whatever. I need an hour warm up. Putting me early wastes my lesson.
I am always on time, ready, and warmed up.
I don't feel respected.
Is it time to coach hunt?

[jazzpants]

Depend on whether or not that coach makes up for the time and whether or not this happens a LOT. I've had coaches switch times on me b/c of competitions, tests, illness, etc. But yeah, if she's answering the phone during your lesson time and does not make up for the lesson time, that is NOT a professional thing to do and you need to speak up and tell her this is not professional. Give her a chance to change things...then drop her if nothing's changed.

[CoachPA]

I agree with everything jazzpants said, but if you're honestly feeling as disrespected as you say and you've already approached your coach about her lack of professionalism and have seen no change thus far, perhaps you've already answered your own question.

[MQSeries]

I would try to talk to the coach first about your feeling. If the situation doesn't improve after the talk and/or she seems unwilling to change then yup, it'll be time to move on.

[Debbie S]

Also chiming in to agree with Jazzpants.

Sometimes coaches tend to take adult skaters for granted, meaning they figure you'll be willing to switch times at the last minute, be the one who gets bumped, rearrange your schedule for them, b/c you're not a scary skating mom they'd have to deal with if they did that to one of their kid students. But your money is just as green as theirs, and you have the right to be respected. (although, as Jazzpants said, if the cell phone thing only happened once, you might want to cut her some slack b/c there could have been extenuating circumstances involved)

I will say, though, that an hour for warm-up seems excessive. My coach tries to take me second if I haven't skated the session before, but she does that with her kids, too - she tries to make sure everyone is warmed up, but we're tallking 20 minutes. I would think anyone would be able to get their muscles warmed up and get the feel of the ice under their blades in 20-30 minutes.

[katz in boots]

I have had to talk to my coach a couple of times about this sort of behaviour, the most recently was only a couple of weeks ago. Taking phone calls, getting distracted by other skaters, talking to their parents, switching my lesson to an inconvenient time. She's really the only coach here, so switching isn't an option.

I agree with Debbie S, that sometimes adult skaters get taken for granted, but also if there are tests or a show or something, my coach gets distracted.
I have found talking to her about how I'm feeling, and making it's clear that it's her behaviour I don't like, tends to refocus our relationship.

I agree that an hour seems like a long time to warm up. Personally I like 1/2 an hour, so that I'm warmed up and have got my 'ice feet', but haven't worn myself out yet. Less than 30 minutes, and I don't feel ready. If I have my lesson more than an hour after the session starts, I'm too tired. At my age there's a narrow window of opportunity for good work in a lesson.:lol:

[fsk8r]

The phone call incident is interesting as the same thing happened with my coach the other day. She initially looked at the phone, then took the call but it lasted only about a minute. She then apologised profusely and said that she only ever takes calls from three people during lesson time, her husband, mum and sister. (Seems fair enough, she's checking for the emergency). I asked what about if the school called and she said that lesson would be over at that point.
But she was very keen to apologise about it, and is keen to be professional. Her attitude is that all students are equally important as we all pay the same (adults or competitive kids with scary skating mums). Where possible she will try and accommodate people needing an extra practice before a test or swap people because of schedules, but she makes great pains to explain to whoever is being swapped that they're doing someone else the favour and they're welcome to say no to the offer.
It's a refreshing change because some other coaches do have the attitude that some students are more equal than others.
I don't know what to recommend though for this particular situation. It depends on how valuable you feel the coach is.

[Mel On Ice]

Defend your rights as the coach's client, but don't be defensive. If you have not yet spoken your mind, by all means do so, and share your comments and concerns with her.

I say that because the time may come soon that YOU are the student that will take precendent, and she will start rearranging others in order to accomodate your test, your show program, your competition. I know in the next two months, that my silver test will be my coach's top priority, but in February, I'll take a back seat to all the competitors going to sectionals and nationals.

I also say that you must be diplomatic in your approach to sharing your concerns because coaching staffs can be a tight, well-knit group, and your reputation with one coach, I guarantee, will carry onto the new coach. Doesn't make it right, it's just how it is.

[Bunny Hop]

I've nothing to add to what everyone has already said on the phone calls front, but I do understand wanting an hour to warm up. I can do a lesson with half an hour to warm up, but that's the bare minimum, and I'll do a much better lesson later in the session. It's not just a matter of physically being warmed up with me, it's also a confidence thing. I'll be able to go faster and just generally skate better the more I skate. I always used to think my dance coach got the much better end of the deal with my lessons, as they were always at the end of the session, whereas my singles lessons were half an hour in and were poor quality far more often. Like the original poster, I used to sometimes feel that they were a waste of my time (and my coach's time, for that matter), so I wasn't too upset when timetabling problems on my side forced me to give up on the singles stuff and just do dance lessons.

[Swizzler]

Wow, this all sounds very familiar. My coach tends to watch what his other students are doing during my lesson (like when I'm doing edges, turns, etc. I will look up and see his gaze fixed on one of the kids doing a program), and we also get interrupted constantly by his other students, which I have started complaining about. :giveup:

p.s. if I'm lucky I get 10 minutes to warm up before my lesson!

[Debbie S]

My coach tends to watch what his other students are doing during my lesson (like when I'm doing edges, turns, etc. I will look up and see his gaze fixed on one of the kids doing a program), and we also get interrupted constantly by his other students, which I have started complaining about. I guess you, like AgnesNitt, will have to decide how much of a problem it is, how often it occurs, and how receptive your coach is to fixing the problem, and whether he does. My coach sometimes makes a quick comment to one of her kids if they skate by or if we're near them, but she will also sometimes make a quick comment to me when she's in other lessons (ex: "Palms flat, Debbie" or "That turn was too early", etc). It doesn't happen often and it's usually not disruptive. A couple of times (and I've worked with her for 3 years now) she's gotten caught up in a quick conversation with another coach and missed me doing something, so I've done it again, but like I said, it's been rare. I'm willing to forgive rare things. No one's perfect. :)


Not having much warm-up time before your lesson can sometimes be a good thing. When/if you test and/or compete, you usually won't get an hour of warm-up or practice time beforehand. It's good to get used to 'performing' on less warm-up. And it also lets the coach see your problems on a jump or a spin, magnified - lol. And hey, that's why you have a coach (to identify and help you fix your problems), right?

[AgnesNitt]

Thanks to all for replying, and your suggestions. The next time something happens I'll be full of tact. I understand the issue about not being a difficult student and getting a bad rap with the other coaches. Just seeing how each of you played it out for me was very helpful; is that what psychologists call storyboarding?

A couple of people mentioned my hour warm up. I should say 15 minutes is actual warmup (stroking w/ crossovers in the corners, edges, grapevines, deep swizels) and the next 45 minutes is practicing things that aren't smooth yet. I need that time to (how to say it) realign my skating arms with my skating legs. Without that practice the two skating parts don't always mesh together. It's that timing issue, arms in the wrong place, foot hanging out in space..aaargh! I need that 45 min.

Thanks again.