Daughter quit Skating - sad

[katz in boots]

My 11 year old announced she was quitting skating yesterday.
I knew it was coming, she really hasn't been all that in to it for the past year. She has spent barely 1/2 hour on ice then gone off to read or draw or something while I skate. Would've been nice if she made the decision before I paid her competition entry fee, bought fabric and made her costume though.

Thing is, even though in some ways it is a relief cos I knew she wasn't enjoying it anymore, I'm feeling kind of sad. I saw the costume I made hanging in the cupboard, and thought about all the costumes I've made for her, and won't be making in the future. All the going off to the rink together, having lessons and stuff and realised it is all over.

She'll still come to the rink with me on a Saturday morning, but she becomes a recreational skater rather than a figure skater from now on.

I shall miss her company, having something we do together. Yeah, just a bid sad about it, though glad she's doing what's right for her.

[jskater49]

Yea that happens. I've seen a lot of kids -some of them really talanted, just decide that they want to do something else. The thing is skating takes up SO much time and energy to be good, you have to be a little touched to keep going. So you can be reassured that she's pretty normal!;)

I know what you mean about missing her company. My daughter has gone off to college and I don't miss her at home so much as she was never home the last year anyway - but I miss skating with her.

She's going through withdrawel herself. SHe has a nice paying job teaching LTS but she hasn't been able to find time to skate for herself.

j

[Sessy]

You can now spend that fabric and time making costumes for yourself :twisted:

[mdvask8r]

She's eleven? Don't be too surprised if 3 weeks, 6 months or a year from now she misses it, changes her mind and wants to come back. I've seen it happen many times with young girls.
Wishing you both happiness with whatever the future brings :).

[Pgh.Coach]

She's eleven? Don't be too surprised if 3 weeks, 6 months or a year from now she misses it, changes her mind and wants to come back. I've seen it happen many times with young girls.

Very true. The pre-teen years are typically when kids are deciding whether or not skating is for them. Skating does require a great deal of time and committment. Girls may want to be able to spend more time with friends or on [exploring] other sports/hobbies whereas boys, especially around 13-14 years old, may feel the added pressure that the stereotypes of this sport creates (i.e., skating's for girls, or all male skaters are gay). Those who truly want to skate will stick it out--or return after a mini hiatus, which can sometimes do a kid good. Perhaps a little break is all that she needs.

[isakswings]

My 11 year old announced she was quitting skating yesterday.
I knew it was coming, she really hasn't been all that in to it for the past year. She has spent barely 1/2 hour on ice then gone off to read or draw or something while I skate. Would've been nice if she made the decision before I paid her competition entry fee, bought fabric and made her costume though.

Thing is, even though in some ways it is a relief cos I knew she wasn't enjoying it anymore, I'm feeling kind of sad. I saw the costume I made hanging in the cupboard, and thought about all the costumes I've made for her, and won't be making in the future. All the going off to the rink together, having lessons and stuff and realised it is all over.

She'll still come to the rink with me on a Saturday morning, but she becomes a recreational skater rather than a figure skater from now on.

I shall miss her company, having something we do together. Yeah, just a bid sad about it, though glad she's doing what's right for her.


Awww... I bet you are sad! Like others have said, maybe she will come back to it. How long did she skate for?

[BatikatII]

I know how you feel. I still feel sad that my son quit at 14. He was the more talented one at skating in the family but it is my daughter and I that stuck with it.

He quit when the coach he'd had for 4 years left and though other coaches were keen to take him on it became clear that in fact for the previous two years he'd really only been continuing because it made his coach happy (he and my daughter did pairs and went to Novice Nationals (UK) with that coach) rather than because he wanted to skate. He's only been on the ice a couple of times since and is now 19. The good thing is that it gave him time to pursue other hobbies - turned out he was really talented at music!

I do know quite a few skaters who have come back after a few years though so you never know your daughter may yet return.

[Mrs Redboots]

And even if she doesn't come back while she's a teenager, she may yet come back as an adult!

[RoaringSkates]

I shall miss her company, having something we do together. Yeah, just a bid sad about it, though glad she's doing what's right for her.

It is sad, but it is still so very, very cool that you had that time together, for as long as it lasted. And since she's still going to go with you on Saturdays, you can still have some of that special time together.

Maybe you can find something else that acted like skating did, to bring you together. If not, then those Saturdays will still be there for now, and that's precious.

[katz in boots]

Update. Today I finally heard from the gymnastics club that she can get into both the general gymnastics class and the trampolining, which she really wanted to do.

The absolute joy on her face when I told her that she starts tomorrow erased any sadness I was feeling.

Well, this is definitely one activity I won't be joining in with her, I shall sit in the parent viewing area and cheer on from the sidelines. And maybe she needs to find something she can do better than me.

Ah well, :roll: have re-negotiated work times to fit around getting her there, now starts a new routine for us all. At least she won't need much in the way of equipment:lol:

[Schmeck]

While equipment costs should be down, gymnastics can cost just as much as skating. Of course if she's going to be competitive, she'll have to have the grips, practice leotard, competition leotard, warm ups, shoes, maybe even the tiger paws to protect her wrists...

My now 17 yr old daughter went the opposite route - 6 years of gymnastics, then 8 years (and counting) of synchro skating. Only 4 years of that were on a team, but the years she was not on a team were spent working on moves, ice dance, and some freestyle. I'd say the non-synchro years didn't cost as much as the gymnastics years.

[samba]

At 11 I would say there's a 50-50 chance she will come back, mine gave up twice and came back, then he got his coaching certificate and is seen at the rink 1-2 times a year, youth is so wasted on the young!!

[samba]

[QUOTE=samba;375722]At 11 I would say there's a 50-50 chance she will come back, mine gave up twice and came back, then he got his coaching certificate and is seen at the rink 1-2 times a year, youth is so wasted on the young!!

On the plus side, it left me with more money to spend on my skating

Oops now its in twice

[katz in boots]

I do hope she might come back to it one day, though tonight she referred to herself as an ex-figure skater.
She started gymnastics tonight, and did really well and thoroughly enjoyed it. Trampolining on Thursday night.

It does seem that most kids don't wear the leotards etc until they get to competition standard, so she'll be happy in her leggings and t-shirts for now. At least I can sew leotards for her if she ever does get that into it. (Adapt skating dress patterns).

[isakswings]

I do hope she might come back to it one day, though tonight she referred to herself as an ex-figure skater.
She started gymnastics tonight, and did really well and thoroughly enjoyed it. Trampolining on Thursday night.

It does seem that most kids don't wear the leotards etc until they get to competition standard, so she'll be happy in her leggings and t-shirts for now. At least I can sew leotards for her if she ever does get that into it. (Adapt skating dress patterns).

Yes, you can most definately do that! I've seen gymnastic leo patterns too. Has she learned to sew yet? Maybe that is an activity you two can start together! I'm trying to learn how to sew skating dresses for dd. She has already asked me if she can help! I'm hoping to teach her simple things. She's thrilled by that idea! BTW, dd is 10.

My dd has had 1 year of gymnastics. She'd love to go back to it, but I've told her I cannot afford both Gymnastics and figure skating. If she wasn't taking private elssons and competing, I could swing both.

Anyway, I hope your daughter continues to love her new sport! Enjoy your Saturday trips to the rink!

[MQSeries]

You'll now have more $$$ to do whatever 8-)

[Query]

Did you ask your DD why she didn't enjoy skating any more? Could it be something generic, like competition or pressure you or a coach put on her? If it was, do you have to be careful about how you interact with her on future activities? Or maybe she just likes the idea of a team sport and becoming more popular, though I guess she is too young to know boys exist.

Kids and adults both often like to change activities once in a while. Me too.

[katz in boots]

Aargh!!! :frus:

After exactly 3 gymnastics lessons she is now also an ex-gymnast.:frus:

After a day at school having to behave herself and do as she is told, she has decided that she doesn't like having another activity which involves discipline. Much as she enjoyed gymnastics, and skating before that, she just doesn't want to be told what to do or have to practise.

Ah well, she will find her niche.:roll:

[sk8lady]

You know, hockey is full of kids just exactly like that! And it's a lot more popular for girls now...

[luckeylasvegas]

:cry:My DD12 has decided to stop too. It seems that she just isn't having fun anymore and her Osgood Schlater in her knee is still really taking its toll on her. We took a break for 2 months over the holidays and when we went to go back this week she just didn't want to do it. I hope she changes her mind in a year or so, I'll miss watching her preform.:cry:

[jskater49]

Just about everyone who skated with my daughter at our former club has quit. They are all in high school. One of them was skating at the junior level and had just missed making it out of her last Regionals. Another one was up to her gold dances. Very sad because they don't skate at all anymore. It's easy to say - well it's their decision...but I wasn't even their parent, but I watched these girls over the years progress and I can't help being sad. But they are the ones that have get up and put their skates on, and if it wasn't worth it to them anymore....

j

[twokidsskatemom]

:cry:My DD12 has decided to stop too. It seems that she just isn't having fun anymore and her Osgood Schlater in her knee is still really taking its toll on her. We took a break for 2 months over the holidays and when we went to go back this week she just didn't want to do it. I hope she changes her mind in a year or so, I'll miss watching her preform.:cry:
I am sorry to hear that, I think you started posting around the same time I did.If its not fun, its good at least she can tell you and move on.
Good luck with whatever she does!!

[sk8ryellow]

She is only eleven and is bound to come back to skating in about a month. My friend wanted to quit and I told her to take a break not quit. Sure enough she took her break and is still skating. Is your daughter having a hard time landing a jump? Thats what happened to my friend when she couldn't land her axel. She still hasn't actually.

[twokidsskatemom]

She is only eleven and is bound to come back to skating in about a month. My friend wanted to quit and I told her to take a break not quit. Sure enough she took her break and is still skating. Is your daughter having a hard time landing a jump? Thats what happened to my friend when she couldn't land her axel. She still hasn't actually.
I dont know about your friend, but when some skaters are done, they are done.Her daughter skated for a long time, maybe she want to do other things.

[luckeylasvegas]

Good news :D even though DD has been restricted from jumping, because of her Osgood Schlater,her coach and I have convinced her to return to the rink and focus on her moves and possibly learn some dances. Hopefully the extra focus she spends on her foot work and spins will help her when she is able to jump again and catches up to all the girls that have passed her up.