Skating Blues

[antmanb]

Not the dancing variety but the down in the dumps blues!

Just wanted to hear people's stories about being so down on their skating that they consider giving up.

I have been skating now for maybe close to 6 years. I don't have much time to give it as i can only make one session a week. I have in that 5 years (apart from holidays) attended those sessions religiously. A couple or three years ago i was landing waltz jump, toe-loop, salchow and loop, and cheating a flip and flutz and working on axels (not even close but good off ice) pretty good forward upright, with alternating good camels and sit spins (but never both in one session). In the last couple of years my skating seems to have gone backwards. I can't land a loop for love nor money and flip and flutz have gone. Spins are still the same with no sign of a backspin in sight. I have even less time to give it and after last week's awful session (topping a series of bad sessions) i got to the point of thinking it's time to stop throwing good money after bad.

I've left it nearly a week and am still unsure whether to continue. So i was just wondering have any of you gotten to this stage and if so what have you done to overcome it?

Thanks for listening!

Ant

[momsk8er]

I don't know if I have much encouragement to give, but I can share your pain. It seems like I just make progress, and then I need to miss a few days at the rink and a few days at the gym, and I am back to square one. Frankly, I'm frustrated too. Every week my spin goes away, and it takes me one or two sessions to get it back. I learn a loop jump, and I miss 3 days of skating, and I can't do it anymore. It is really frustrating.

And my dd's summer schedule isn't helping, since she is skating and working out all day at camp, she doesn't want to either skate or work out in the evening. I can skate in the morning before work, but at my age I need the gym to get any progress out of my skating. But when do I fit it in???

I don't know about you, but I could never keep progressing with only one day a week on the ice. I need to skate 4 times a week, and go to the gym 3 times a week to keep making progress. But maybe you get a lot of other activity and are in really good shape. Me, I have a desk job and am a mom to a teenager who doesn't drive yet, so my off-work action is mostly behind the wheel.

Maybe you can get some roller skates and skate a couple days per week in them if you can't add more ice time?

[phoenix]

Are you working with a coach? If not, I'd highly advise at least a few lessons to get you back on track. It's very easy to slip into bad habits without someone's eyes seeing what's happening, and it doesn't take much to get just a bit out of whack before you start losing jumps.

If you are working with a coach, maybe change your focus for awhile; concentrate on moves or dance, and then come back to jumping in 6 months when you'll be stronger for all the edge work you've done.

You're probably also going to need to adjust your expectations, if you can only skate once a week. You can probably maintain single jumps/simple spins with that, but probably won't make a lot of continued progress without putting in more time. Maybe if you relax your expectations it will be more fun for you, instead of frustrating!

Maybe pick a piece of music you love & put together a "personal satisfaction" program, that is just fun to do & makes you happy, regardless of which jumps are or are not included.

[Thin-Ice]

The closest I ever came to giving it all up was about 8-9 years ago. I had been stuck for more than two years at the same moves level, I wasn't progressing in jumps, I wasn't able to learn the backspin. I was working hard, spending lots of money and time and only getting frustrated.

I was just about in tears and had convinced myself skating wasn't for me anymore. I decided I was just going to trash my boots on the way out of the rink, since I was going to have to buy new boots and blades if I was going to stick with the sport and that would just be more money and frustration. I was the only one on the ice and kept falling on stupid things... like tiny waltz jumps and stroking (REALLY!) and decided if I fell one more time, that was IT... since if I had hurt myself I could have frozen to the ice before anyone would have noticed.

A couple minutes later this young girl (maybe 11 or so) came out and stroked around and did a couple small jumps and was just having the best time out there on that big ice with just one other person out there (me).. who was staying out of her way. I wanted to recapture the joy she was experiencing... so I just kept watching her. She was thrilled with everything she was doing.

I tried to think back to when I first started and looked like Bambi on skates.. couldn't stand up, could barely move... then realized how far I had actually come. I spent the rest of the session just going over stuff I LIKED to do.. not anything I was frustrated with. I skated to the background music someone had left on the music box... and just felt the wind in my hair and against my face, listened to the sound of my blades on the ice, enjoyed the smell of the rink (yeah, I know.. but it does have a very distinct smell to it) and thought about what else I would rather be doing than skating. I couldn't come up with an answer... so I decided I would just skate for the enjoyment of the moment, no deadlines, no competitions, no tests, no expectations. I cancelled my lesson for the next week and did the same thing a couple more times.. skated in the moment.

That gave me a chance to remember why I wanted to start skating in the first place. At that point all I wanted to do was be able to go around the rink without falling or holding onto the rail. I could definitely do that... so I had already met my original goal! I could leave on my own terms if that was what I decided to do.

After that, I decided to keep my skates -- and keep skating. Yes, it was a pain to order, pay for and break in news boots and blades. Yes, there are still lessons when I wonder why my coach is torturing me. And yes, there are days I still get frustrated.. but none of them have been like that particular day. And if I ever get to that point again, I plan to just "skate in the moment" and see if there's something else I would rather do with my time and money.

The other thing you might consider doing is forbidding yourself to go to the rink... and see if/when your brain and body start craving the ice. I've been off the ice since AN (well, I did have a couple brief lessons with my coach but that only aggravated the injury) and I can hardly wait to get back on.

Starting and stopping skating is a very personal decision. Only you know if what you're feeling is frustration at the overall sport or just parts of it.. and if you can overcome whatever that is.

Good luck!

[ElinorD]

I feel your pain.
Not long ago, I started a thread about Adult skaters & motivation for the very same reason. (Can someone more tech-y than me link it, please?)
I've been back on the ice for a year, the last several months or so I've been working on the same things as I was when I quit. I can't get past loop/fiip and sit/camel spins. I'm *still* there. :x
I can't make it to practice more than a few times a week either. It's hard, isn't it? Especially when you find yourself back tracking. Some days I just MAKE myself go- no pressure, just go for the exercise.
I've also started focusing on Moves in the Field in my lessons. That's helped my confidence tremendously. Plus, I've been trying to do off ice cross training. I think that just muscle-ing through helps more than anything. Just hang in there and don't put too much pressure on yourself. Set small (tiny!) goals and celebrate when you achieve them. What elements do you like working on? Spirals? Come up with a spiral sequence. Spins? Work on one you like with a small variation. Decide to have a practice for "fun," not for work.
Hang in there.
I quit about 12 years ago. My coach was let go and I wanted to focus on school. Last year I decided to start back after some small health problems. I was out of shape and unhappy - I needed to do something to get me out of the house & get some exercise.Some days are better than others, but at the very least, I am a better quality skater than I used to be. That in and of itself is a victory.
But that's today. Tomorrow, I may feel very differently. Such is life, such is skating. Good luck.

[jazzpants]

I feel your pain.
Not long ago, I started a thread about Adult skaters & motivation for the very same reason. (Can someone more tech-y than me link it, please?)
I guess this is the link?

http://www.skatingforums.com/showthread.php?t=26833

Antmanb: Have you consider getting another coach to take a look at what's going on with your skating to see if s/he can get you out of the runt? I have a hunch that's the original problem and it's pushing onto your confidence and the "throwing good money after bad" thing.

Trust me, it was probably one of my best decisions! The other one is to go to a public session and do your thing. You'd be surpised how much of a confidence booster it is for me to skate the public session. (Of course, do NOT replace it for FS session. You still need that open space to build up speed and flow.)

If those items and the other suggestions doesn't work, then I think a vacation from the ice is in order. (Give yourself a month and then come back a couple of times and see if you miss the ice enough.)

[Sk8Dreamer]

It's good to see that other people have this problem--not that I wish it on anyone, but it's nice to not feel so alone! But, y'know, so much is relative! I see what you're complaining that you're NOT doing, and it's moves I only dream of doing someday! I have been skating for five years (though the first year was only once a week, so I sort of don't count it!) and I must be the world's slowest learner. I can do forward inside and outside edges, forward and backward crossovers (badly), forward outside 3-turns (badly), and I'm working hard on learning to actually stay on one foot gliding backward without immediately putting my free foot down. That's like no progress at all, considering the long time. True, some of it has been on-and-off skating for various reasons, but since last fall it's been mostly on, skating 2-3 times a week (hard to get to the rink more often), and I thought I was starting to make some progress, and suddenly my balance is off, I'm falling more often, I'm freezing up when I should be going into a different move (like crossovers on the corners), and it's very hard not to despair. The only thing that keeps me skating is my unwillingness to give up. But I'd love to figure out a way to make it fun again.

So I feel for you, but I say DON'T QUIT! Not when you've come so far! If you could do that stuff before, you'll be able to do it again. You probably just need to relax and stop trying so hard. It WILL come back (and then it'll go away again, and come back again...sigh!).

[Rusty Blades]

Isn't skating a wonderful sport! :roll: It will drive you mental (but maybe a person has to be a bit unbalanced to be in this sport in the first place!)

The first and worst time for me was when I had been skating only about 9 months and my coach was on my case about scratchy forward edges. I worked on them for MONTHS with no progress, go hollered at, and cursed myself for not getting it. One Sunday afternoon after another fruitless practice I was passing the dumpster and stopped. I had my skates in my hand and seriously thought about pitching them. Fortunately I am far to cheap the throw away a good pair of skates! I DID make some changes in my skating to make a fresh start and the stroking problem went away - I now have great, powerful, and SILENT stroking.

More recently, something happened in mid-January and my skating went downhill. I lost my Waltz jump, Toe Loop and Sit Spin in January and didn't have them for Nationals (April). My coach insisted that I take a month off, which I did, and just started back yesterday. I STILL don't have them back but I know they WERE there and I am not about to give up! Is it disappointing? You bet! Frustrating? To loose it all before the biggest competition of the year? Damned right! But I had 'em and I WANT 'EM BACK and I'll keep at it until I get them.

Maybe taking a break would help?

[Skating Jessica]

Life, or rather skating, is a lot like photography: you develop from the negatives.

It's like that old saying: "Never let success go to your head and failure go to your heart." You seem to be focusing a great deal on what you consider to be "failures". What about all the successes you've had, however insignificant they may seem. Maybe making mental notes of things you're improving on (better posture, power, presentation; learned a new skill, etc.) will help take your mind off those things that you feel you're struggling with.

Ever hear that quote from pairs skater Jamie Sale--"When you hit rock bottom, that's when you realize you want to skate for the love of the sport." Perhaps take some time away from competing/testing and just try and focus on what you love about skating. It can be as simple as hanging out with people who share your interests; tackling challenges; feeling the smooth ice under your skates and the cold wind at your face...whatever. After all, "your feet can learn the steps, but only your heart can skate them." (Sorry, I'm a huge quote person, LOL! But sometimes it helps.... ;))

[badaxel]

Here's my favorite quote, maybe it will help:
"It's not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves."- Sir Edmund Hillary, on climbing Mt. Everest

Just replace "mountain" with whatever move/ jump/ spin you're currently struggling with, and it works as a great mantra!
To me, it's not about getting the move, necessarily, but about triumphing over the strong desire to give in to the frustration. It always helped me to focus on the journey. I spent 3 years developing an axel and 2 seconds landing one in competition. Yes, I was proud to accomplish my goal, but I was prouder of the dedication it took to get there. Now, as I struggle with other things, I know I will eventually get them because I have struggled and triumphed before. That frustration is part of what makes skating great, and part of what makes us all stronger.

I hope this makes sense, and I hope it helps!

[sk8lady]

Just wanted to hear people's stories about being so down on their skating that they consider giving up.



Hey! Get outta my house! I'm in this spot about twice a year, sometimes more. From April to November I only skate once or twice a week since we have no local ice and I've learned from bitter experience not to plan to do anything other than maintain--if I don't lose whatever I learned the year before I have to be happy with that. It's hard because five months isn't very long to make all the progress you can make with your almost-fifty-year-old body!! I get particularly mopey about not getting my next jump--and my coach will usually take five or ten minutes to remind me how many new things I've learned in the last two years, which is really a total of about 10 months.

If you're only skating once a week, unless you're supertalented, you can't expect to make much progress...you'd need to skate more.

[mikawendy]

Here's my favorite quote, maybe it will help:
"It's not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves."- Sir Edmund Hillary, on climbing Mt. Everest

Just replace "mountain" with whatever move/ jump/ spin you're currently struggling with, and it works as a great mantra!
To me, it's not about getting the move, necessarily, but about triumphing over the strong desire to give in to the frustration. It always helped me to focus on the journey.

<snip>

I hope this makes sense, and I hope it helps!

Very well put, badaxel! Thanks for posting that quotation!

[antmanb]

Thanks for everyone's responses.

Just as few replies:

- I got a new coach towards the end of last year because my coach at the time left for another rink. I love working with her and got a real boost to my motivation for a number of months but have recently really felt stuck in a rut.

- I have only competed once and thought it wasn't for me, and have never tested (or plan to test) so i suppose I have always just "skated for me".

- The patch session i used to skate on has recently been scrapped so i'm back on a public session for my lesson which, to be fair, is not too crowded at the moment but unfortunately because i work 9am-6pm (and considerably later at least once a week) there aren't really any sessions I can attend other than the one i do. The weekend public sessions are crazy and except for the one thursday night i attend, the rest of the evening sessions are "disco" ones with the lights out so isn't very conducive to practice.

- Part of the problem is that i've more or less stopped being such a fanatic of watching skating as I was (which always motivated me to try harder in my own skating) and feel that i've developped about as much as i will with only one session a week to practice. I suppose the question that I have to answer is do i want to maintain and hone the skills that i already have and lower my expectations of what i might achieve with limited practice time.

I think I might raise my concerns about my skating with my coach and maybe take the summer off and see if i have an interest in returning to skating in the autumn.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and sharing their stories.

Ant

[Mrs Redboots]

- I have only competed once and thought it wasn't for me, and have never tested (or plan to test) so i suppose I have always just "skated for me".

That may be part of the problem, in that you're not working for anything specific. I'm not saying you should compete again if you don't want to (although you looked great the time you did; I remember watching it and being very impressed!), but maybe you need to set yourself specific goals, with your coach's input, so that you have something specific to aim at.

Meanwhile, I'd say if it's still fun, go on with it!

[blue111moon]

I look at any skating I get as exercise, pure and simple. Even if I'm not progressing, I'm moving. That's better than sitting at a desk. And even stroking in circles on a public session is more interesting to me than doing areobics in a gym somewhere.

[Sessy]

I'd say if you wanna compete go for artistics!!! I was out with an injury most of last year and no end in sight either but I did an artistic competition and I think I'm gonna do a lot more, it was such fun! :mrgreen:

That being said, I did nearly call it a day in january... Then I suddenly got a biellmann spin out of the nowhere (still don't have a sit spin to speak of but hey) and that kept me... We have 6 month summer breaks though so that kinda helps to recuperate mentally too. I lost a lot after last year's break but it all came back stronger when I started to analyse what I was doing wrong that it wasn't working. I film myself a LOT now, that way I can see what's changed. Helps not just to track your progress but also to see where you're dropping a shoulder (and weren't doing that a month ago when a spin was working, for example) etc.

[Bunny Hop]

...but unfortunately because i work 9am-6pm (and considerably later at least once a week) there aren't really any sessions I can attend other than the one i do. The weekend public sessions are crazy and except for the one thursday night i attend, the rest of the evening sessions are "disco" ones with the lights out so isn't very conducive to practice.
Uh-huh. I can totally identify with all of that. I'm at a much lower level of skating, but have basically the same problem. My official working hours are 9:30-5:30 weekdays, and because of the nature of the work, and the building opening hours, it's just not possible to alter those to fit in skating. I currently take a half day's flex-time each week to skate on a morning patch, followed by (usually) quiet public session, but that uses up all my allowable flex. For various reasons none of the other sessions outside working hoursare usable.

All of which means that the skating lows are really low, and tend to last much longer than they otherwise would if things could be worked through more regularly. It's a very three steps foward, one step back way of doing things. I don't have an answer to all this - just wanted to say that you aren't the only one, and I know exactly where you're coming from.

[fsk8r]

No chance of getting a change of scenery? A different rink sometimes puts things into prospective. You meet different people, and get to experience a different atmosphere. And the change often shows you the things that you do better than other skaters, whilst noticing things that you'd never tried before.
I know a lot of rinks in the UK have evening public sessions and they're not all disco sessions, and now it's summer and tennis season no one skates, so even the disco ones aren't always that busy.
I like getting a change every now and then as it breaks the rut of the constant cycle of going skating. I even try changing what I'm working on with the coach to help keep it all fresh and different.
I also tend to try and focus on the little things that are learnt.
I learnt a bracket the other week and managed to make a big deal out of it. Didn't care that at the same moment in time my flip jump was on some major vacation. But when I found where I left the flip jump, I discovered something else, in working to get it back I had to rebuild my own self-belief and confidence and I realised that I was stressing about something that a year or so ago I wouldn't have been able to do and the big thing that I stressed about then is now fixed and seems like a distant memory. But it took a lot of effort to go back and analyse where I'd come from.
We sall eem to focus on the negative of now and don't notice the positives that go before. Sometimes, it's worth a little bit of retrospection to appreciate things and be thankful.
I can't remember where I ever wanted to get in skating, I'd imagine it was to be able to stop and go backwards, and I went through the point of getting back on the ice being a bit of a pipe dream following a car accident. It's not my goal anymore I've got slightly loftier ones I'd like to aim for (how about an axel?), but the reality is that I've achieved my goals and surpassed them. And I find when I realise that, it's slightly easier to not be quite so hard on myself when things don't seem to progress.

I hope you can reclaim what got you skating in the first place, you might just have to do a little soul searching to remind yourself why you want to skate.

[teresa]

I've been there. I think everyone who skates has. I came very close to quitting a few years back. I changed coaches and found my spirit felt better. When my attitude changed my feelings towards myself and skating did too. I'm not suggesting a coach change but maybe a change on your focus for a bit. New music, new things to try, a different rink, new outfit, etc. Sometimes the little things can help.

teresa

[RachelSk8er]

I've "quit" a few times...the longest I lasted was *maybe* a year in college, but I know I went to a few public sessions in that time frame and still talked about skating nonstop. I've switched disciplines along the way, too, from singles to synchro, picked up dance along the way, dropped synchro and picked up freestyle again. We're in this, for the most part, because it's fun. When it stops being fun, it's either time for a change of pace, or a break to think about why it is you still skate. And you'll find your way back eventually....

[Sessy]

BTW I agree with the above change of scenery thing, but if that's not possible, consider getting roller skates like pic's or snow whites - a more or less smooth concrete basketball/tennis/soccer field somewhere in your town will do, as will most large skating parks (like with ramps and stuff).
There are some things you can practice in those - not spins, not really, but a lot of stuff you can practice that way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXIOp2uRVp8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F-8g4NLWmk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpJ5fitJCgs

And loops can be really practiced off-ice, and you can get yourself a spinner if you like too. That way you can put in practice whenever you want, be that evenings or on the weekends.

Also, consider more cross-training in different forms of dance :)