Senior club members bullying younger junior club members on public ice!

[kimmee4]

I am going to try to make this as short as possible because so much has gone on over the past year. In short, there are two senior club members at our rink who are around 13years old bullying younger junior club members at public skating sessions. When it first started it was mild. The older girls would tell DD and friend NOT to skate in the middle. Then it moved on to the girls SCREAMING at them if they were in there way and were unable to jump. Then as instructed, DD ignored them and pretended they were not yelling at her. Then came the week they began making fun of DD skating::evil: I saw it all from the bleachers. She was not the only girl this was happening too. Any random child that skates in the middle is yelled at, screamed at to "MOVE" with lots of other explatives. I handled it myself and spoke to the girls and it stopped ( of course they denied it ) and did appologize to DD. They leave her alone but move on to a new victim. There was a week when the girls were in the face of another child their age and it looked so ugly that I encouraged the child ( she is older - 13 ) to go to the skating director. I also called the rink owner the next day and explained to him what had been going on. He was very receptive and actually had some issues of his own with these girls . He took some action. But, I just do not understand why I saw one of these girls helping out last week with the basic skills instruction:frus: Then this weekend at public skating ,they were mean to yet ANOTHER junior skater who is 9. She no longer wants to skate during the public sessions:cry:. The mom called the owner and he has suspended the girls for two weekend public sessions and if anything happens again they will be suspended indefinetly on public sessions. So that is the short of it . Has anyone else ever delt with this situation??? I am happy that the rink manager has taken action and evidently the parents and the skating club know. Isn't there a no tolerance for bullying in the USFS club, why are these girls not suspended from that? As a mom, this has just been heart breaking for me to watch !!!!

[dbny]

Every club needs money and that means keeping as many members as possible. In some clubs almost any sort of behavior is tolerated, and the USFS, in general does not care what goes on in any particular club - it is the club's own business. I've seen some pretty ugly things go down on club ice, including a coach harrassing another coach's students - and nothing was done. I think you did the right thing to handle it yourself and to alert the relevant authorities. At least management at your rink is paying attention and is willing to take action.

[Query]

Rinks set aside center ice for jumps and spins, sometimes for lessons. If no one is jumping or spinning or teaching, for moves that require a circle, like crossovers, or on-pattern 3 turns. If DD isn't doing that, she and by extension you are in the wrong, and the kids are within their rights. Sorry! (In theory it would be better if they got rink or club management to talk to you and DD than to yell at a little girl.) (And club or session rules might over-ride the center set-aside.)

If DD IS jumping and spinning there:

Take a video camera.

As appropriate, show it to the rink or club management. (In club sessions, club rules take precedence, and rink management should not be involved.) Management will not hire kids who they know are bad for business, and clubs want people to be nice.

It could be bad if the bullies take it out on DD off ice. Maybe first show the video to the parents instead, in the kid's presence, and talk it over with them.

[kimmee4]

The center is for figure skating of any level. I checked that out over a year ago when the very first incident occured. All these children have a right to be skating there.

[kimmee4]

Query: This is public ice and basically anything remotely figure skating is fine.
DD does happen to be jumping and spinning. These girls are bullying during public skating - it goes way beyond yelling at my dd. But, regardless of any situation it is NEVER ok to bully others !!!

[blue111moon]

If it's a public session, then the club has no right to dictate conduct on it. It sounds like the rink manager handled it properly. If the girls are bullying skaters on club-run ice, then the matter should be taken up before the board and addressed there. No club that I know of would tolerate members shrieking and bullying other members. In my club, you'd be kicked off the session at the first expletive (with no refund) and then banned for the remainder of the season if it happened again.

My question is: where are the girls' parents? Has anyone talked to them about their daughters' behavior?

[littlekateskate]

I am just suprised you are allowed to do jumps, spins, ect on public ice time. We are not allowed to even do spirals for safety reasons.

[Skittl1321]

I am just suprised you are allowed to do jumps, spins, ect on public ice time. We are not allowed to even do spirals for safety reasons.

Our rink has absolutely no rules at all for public sessions. They have eliminated most freestyle sessions with the explanation that "public sessions can be used for freestyle". The general public doesn't skate in one particular direction, the middle is not blocked for freestyle, spins aren't always in the centers, lutzes aren't in a certain corner. It is complete madness- a free for all.

[sk8tmum]

RE the parental contact: dicey area. We are a private club, so, onice issues are dealt with forthrightly; however, we inhabit a public arena. Where we've had kids destroying our rink property, distracting skaters, bullying and teasing learning skaters ... club executives and rink staff have approached the parents to discuss the issues.

In more than a few cases, the executive/rink staff have been told off for daring to criticize the kids, and, in fact, parents have lodged complaints for "interfering". Note that generally rink management have treated these complaints with the (very little) respect that they deserve, and in fact, have reinforced the initial message ... however...

sigh. Unfortunately, many nasty brats are the results of poor parenting (BTW: I'm a teacher ... so, this holds true into the classroom, too :()

[Query]

I am just suprised you are allowed to do jumps, spins, ect on public ice time. We are not allowed to even do spirals for safety reasons.

I deliberately seek out public sessions where only a few people are there - maybe 1-6 people, and which allow jumps and spins at non-busy sessions. Public sessions at many such places are someteimes a mixture of beginners and non-beginners, freestyle, speed, pairs and dance, sometimes people working jumping with safety harnesses or doing routines. Often no rink guard. At busier sessions, the center is often set aside in a rink-dependent fashion.

Perhaps this slightly biased sample does not represent your rink or sessions.

Management can not and should not act in a critical way unless you have evidence, like a video tape or other witnesses. But it still puts management in an awkwards situation. Calmly speaking with the parents and the kids together yourself should obviously be the first step.

As for NEVER raising your voice - there are people who never listen and who create clear safety problems for themselves and others. Sometimes "Hey" or "Watch out!" makes sense, especially if it is for their own safety.

Have you never honked your horn at two cars that were blithely moving into the same spot, or at someone who was endangering you on the road with no possible way out? Same principle.

I've seen beginning level parents take their beginning level kids into the center while coaches were teaching jumps there, or coming under someone in a safety harness. The coaches usually politely suggest they skate elsewhere. The parents sometimes ignore them, figuring that they have paid too, not understanding the safety problem. Sometimes the coaches or skaters have to raise their voice. If someone skates out of control and keeps knocking other people down, there may not be time to get management to act; yelling makes sense.

If all else fails you may have to raise your voice at the bullies to get them to stop.

I can't remember actually yelling at anyone on the ice; there are usually better ways. But I've been yelled at, and have felt like yelling a few times.

Perhaps those of you who are British never raise your voice. I imagine a typical British on-ice conversation going something like this: "Hello, my young sir. My name is ---. I hope you are well. If you were to move out from underneath the skater above you in the safety harness, it would significantly lower the probability either of you will be hurt." :D

[CanAmSk8ter]

You've clearly never met my British coach :lol:

As far as the OP: for now, cross your fingers that the girls will return from their "suspension" having learned something. I agree that it's somewhat appalling that they're being permitted to help instruct the younger kids- is your learn-to-skate program run by the club, or by the rink? If the club runs it, they'll probably be hesitant to remove the girls from it unless they're causing problems on club time.

Two other thoughts:

-Make sure your daughter's coach knows about this. Depending on her relationship with other coaches at the rink, she may want to mention it to whoever instructs the bullies. As a coach, I'd definitely want to know if I had students behaving this way! Their coach might be able to broach the subject with their parents, as well.

-Are there monitors on the ice during public sessions? Maybe when your daughter gets on the ice, you could let a skate guard know quickly what's been going on and ask that he keep an ear open for trouble in the middle. (I'm curious as to what would happen if a monitor went over and told the bullies that whatever child they were yelling at could skate in the middle if she wanted to, and that if they heard any more yelling from that area the yellers were getting off the ice.) Be sure to let him know you've talked to the manager and that he's aware of the situation.

[smelltheice]

I deliberately seek out public sessions where only a few people are there - maybe 1-6 people, and which allow jumps and spins at non-busy sessions. Public sessions at many such places are someteimes a mixture of beginners and non-beginners, freestyle, speed, pairs and dance, sometimes people working jumping with safety harnesses or doing routines. Often no rink guard. At busier sessions, the center is often set aside in a rink-dependent fashion.

Perhaps this slightly biased sample does not represent your rink or sessions.

Management can not and should not act in a critical way unless you have evidence, like a video tape or other witnesses. But it still puts management in an awkwards situation. Calmly speaking with the parents and the kids together yourself should obviously be the first step.

As for NEVER raising your voice - there are people who never listen and who create clear safety problems for themselves and others. Sometimes "Hey" or "Watch out!" makes sense, especially if it is for their own safety.

Have you never honked your horn at two cars that were blithely moving into the same spot, or at someone who was endangering you on the road with no possible way out? Same principle.

I've seen beginning level parents take their beginning level kids into the center while coaches were teaching jumps there, or coming under someone in a safety harness. The coaches usually politely suggest they skate elsewhere. The parents sometimes ignore them, figuring that they have paid too, not understanding the safety problem. Sometimes the coaches or skaters have to raise their voice. If someone skates out of control and keeps knocking other people down, there may not be time to get management to act; yelling makes sense.

If all else fails you may have to raise your voice at the bullies to get them to stop.

I can't remember actually yelling at anyone on the ice; there are usually better ways. But I've been yelled at, and have felt like yelling a few times.

Perhaps those of you who are British never raise your voice. I imagine a typical British on-ice conversation going something like this: "Hello, my young sir. My name is ---. I hope you are well. If you were to move out from underneath the skater above you in the safety harness, it would significantly lower the probability either of you will be hurt." :D


yes, I do believe that you perhaps have never skated on a British rink, where perhaps phases such as "Get out of the way" or Shift your arse" are common place but action do speak louder than words and people tend to move to the sides when blades are passing awfully close to them at throat height:D

It is true that we tend to be more tolerant and most rinks will not allow even the most competent skater to lift a foot more than a foot (ish) from the ice unless they are being coached. Litigation is still relatively new here and scares the living daylights out of most company or business directors.

[Skittl1321]

Perhaps those of you who are British never raise your voice. I imagine a typical British on-ice conversation going something like this: "Hello, my young sir. My name is ---. I hope you are well. If you were to move out from underneath the skater above you in the safety harness, it would significantly lower the probability either of you will be hurt." :D

I prefer to stereotype British people as all being influenced by the ministry of silly walks. It really seems as though basic stroking would be quite difficult, but if the Minister says them must, well them must.

[Isk8NYC]

yes, I do believe that you perhaps have never skated on a British rink, where perhaps phases such as "Get out of the way" or Shift your arse" are common place but action do speak louder than words and people tend to move to the sides when blades are passing awfully close to them at throat height.
I prefer to stereotype British people as all being influenced by the ministry of silly walks. It really seems as though basic stroking would be quite difficult, but if the Minister says them must, well them must.
LOL LOL LOL!!! I mean it-the cat just ran into the other room! Too funny, both of you!

ETA: The first is even more funny when you say it out loud in a bad imitation of a british accent!!! ROFLOL!!!