When your kids compete against each other

[deannathegeek]

At the ISI District 11 Championships this summer, both my daughters will be competing at the Pre-Alpha level. Not a biggie, I thought. Surely they wouldn't be going up against each other, since there are 3 1/2 years between them (Lady Claire will be 6 1/2, Nanners will be 10). But it looks like they will be skating against each other, because they're close enough in age and skill level.

Whether this is the case or not, it does lead me to one question-what do you do when your kids compete against each other? I've been coaching them both (to an extent). One of them will do better than the other, and feelings are bound to get hurt and blame will start getting tossed around. Do any of you have kids that compete against each other? How do you handle it?

[Virtualsk8r]

Siblings often end up competing against each other eventually. Think of Michelle and Karen Kwan, Alissa Czisny and her twin, for example. Alexe Gilles and her twin Piper did until Piper took up ice dancing!

At your dd's level, I would set goals with each sibling to accomplish during the competition. Set realistic goals and 'wish' goals with each. Make goal achievement the main focus of the competition, rather than placement. In fact, I don't even let my young skaters see the results of their first competitions! They are to focus on their own skating and unless they medal - I don't tell them how they finished. The parents understand that low level competitions are for testing their skaters abilities under pressure (and on clean ice!). The skaters are generally okay with that and happy to meet some of their goals (like not falling, or landing a loop jump or rotating a spin etc.)

[sk8tmum]

Tell them to focus on personal bests - i.e. first axel landed, first combination landed. Best footwork.

[Mrs Redboots]

I once - and only once - competed against my husband in the rink's hop, step and jump competition. I knew he'd win, that was fair enough - but the [unprintable] [expletive] decided to completely outskate me, and did things like holding his spiral for so long the judges had to tell him that was enough... and so on!

[littlekateskate]

Wow that sucks. Its a shame one cant test a level ahead, and i am suprised they will be competing against each other. Isi is usually pretty good about ages. Normally it is like ages 6-8 9-11.

Good Luck, no matter what someone is going to be sad its prob inevitable.

[AshBugg44]

I don't personally have experience as far as my own kids go since I don't have any, but I used to help our skate school director put the schedule together for our competition. She would never put 2 kids with that age gap together. At that age, the 4 years is a lot! 6-10 is a bigger difference than say, 13-17. That's really not a fair age group at all.

[twokidsskatemom]

I don't personally have experience as far as my own kids go since I don't have any, but I used to help our skate school director put the schedule together for our competition. She would never put 2 kids with that age gap together. At that age, the 4 years is a lot! 6-10 is a bigger difference than say, 13-17. That's really not a fair age group at all.

But sometimes its just the way it works out. At smaller comps, its either that or with the book.Both ISI and usfsa.My 7 year old son was with a 13 yo girl last year in showcase usfsa.
My skaters have grown up with always being with older kids.My 8 year old ISI 5 just competed with an ISI 5 who was 13.Not a comp so much if you have only yourself.She placed first but that isnt the point!!
Since its in the summer, and district champs,I would guess there would be alot more than your two skaters.I wouldnt worry about it till it happens8-)

[twokidsskatemom]

One of them will do better than the other, and feelings are bound to get hurt and blame will start getting tossed around. Do any of you have kids that compete against each other? How do you handle it?


Doesnt have to be. If the only thing to talk about is placement then maybe. But if you focus on doing THEIR best, it shouldnt matter.Feeling dont have to ge hurt. My skaters are only 18 months apart, and he does somethings better, and so does she.
IMO

[sk84ever&ever]

Virtualsk8r I love your advise. I never thought of it that way. That is terrific. Thanks!!!:bow:

[SynchroSk8r114]

I coach a family of 4 girls, two of which--the younger two--are about 2 years apart, but at the same level, Delta. The youngest is very gifted whereas her older sister is weaker and must work a bit more to meet her goals. The youngest is extremely competitive because she knows she's a ham and a strong little skater whereas her older sister is much more shy and gets very nervous competing. Basically, their skating styles (much like their personalities) are very different.

The youngest would definitely outskate her sister, which would be slightly disheartening to her older sister. The youngest said she doesn't care if she skates against her sister, but then again, she probably knows that she's a bit stronger. The older sister does not want to skate against her younger sister. Their mother and I have talked about this w/o the girls knowing and we worked out a way to eliminate the hard feelings of sibling rivalry.

Whenever they compete at the same competition, her mother and I figure out that one will compete a compulsory program and the other a music program. Usually, the quiet older sister will do compulsory and the youngest will do music. It's worked out quite well. Recently the older of the two quit competing, so the youngest was able to do compulsory, stroking, and music. Perhaps this is a possible solution for your girls...?

Both my sister and I skated as kids, but thankfully I was 2.5 years older and at least a level or two higher than her at all times, so there wasn't any chance that'd we'd be skating against each other. But still, there was that secret competitiveness. For instance, if one of us won gold, the other one secretly felt that she had to skate equally as well. My parents never compared us and skating talk was limited--if not non-existent--in the house. What happened at the rink stayed at the rink. Anything that was said to one another skating-wise had to be positive/supportive. Looking back I'm thankful for that rule because it prevented the misinterpretation of "constructive criticism" between us as well as unsolicited advice.

[Skittl1321]

Synchroskater- that's a great idea, and with ALL the competitions ISI offers the kids could still do more than one routine each if they wanted.

One could do a compulsory, spotlight, and stroking. The other could do freestyle, rhythmic, and interpretive.

And then there is always the option of them doing team compulsorys, jump/spin, or family spotlight together! (Although doing team events you might have the issue of "well you lost it for us" if the kids are uber competitive amongst themselves)

[littlekateskate]

I agree its a wonderful idea!