Coach who wont do competition

[littlekateskate]

Hey there.. just a quick question. We have our "local" competition at our rink coming up in a few months. Its at our actual rink. But our coach doesnt do it.

For the very young skaters these are way more ideal but if the coach doesnt do it it seems ridiculous since its our rinks. We dont have to drive anywhere. My daughter already has her routines.

Is it obsene to ask for her to sign off. I know its been discussed before, but I never imagined a coach who didnt take her kids to their own rinks comps.

Can I pay or ask for another coach to watch my daughter for her that day getting her off and on the ice? Can I do it?

[Sparkey]

Don't do it yourself! Baaaaaaad idea!

[SynchroSk8r114]

I agree that coaching your own kid, or at least putting her on and off the ice, is a bad idea. As a coach, I've seen parents do this and I finally had to put my foot down and say no more. It's distracting to the child, especially if the parent is high strung and has other children with them or skating. I've seen parents blatantly stand down by the ice right in front of a sign that read "Skaters and Coaches ONLY!" completely oblivious to this. Having those extra bodies, in addition to the coaches and skaters down there, only complicates things and adds to the chaos of an often stressful day. Your child will appreciate more if you can support her from the stands.

As for your coach not going: it seems a bit odd to me. What is the reasoning behind this? Is there a scheduling conflict? A personal conflict with someone at the rink? I'm curious because if I was a parent, I think the answer would affect how I feel about this.

I'd say that it is OK for you (after speaking with your current coach, of course) to see if another coach whom your child feels comfortable with and who knows your child fairly well can put your daughter on the ice. Just make sure that you speak with your current coach and get his/her OK. If I couldn't be there to get my kid on the ice, I'd like to at least know the coach who'd be putting my skater out there; even better, I'd like to help select who does so. For instance, I'm the primary coach for a family of 4 girls, all of whom who skate, and I work another job as a freelance writer and go to school. There was one instance where I couldn't be there to put my kids out for a test session, so I talked with the mother of these skaters and asked my assistant coach (who also help the girls with their ice dances) to put their dance test out and everything worked out fine because we came to this decision together with someone I trusted with my skaters. There are, however, a few coaches at my rink whom I would never have put my skaters out for a test/competition and the parents of my students know not to even ask me if it's OK for them to work with them for a competition/test.

So, basically I believe that if you are honest with your current coach and can find someone to help get your daughter out on the ice, I'd say go for it. Whatever you do, don't put your own kid on the ice; it's not nearly as enjoyable for the skater or the parent. Good luck!

[myste12]

Many skaters at my rink work with a primary and secondary coach. The primary coach is usually a high level coach who only goes to major competitions. The secondary coach works with the the skater occasionally, and will go to local competitions and fill in when the primary coach is sick or on vacation. If your coach isn't interested in attending local competitions, but you want to, this type of arrangement might work. You should discuss it with your coach before approaching another coach though.

[icedancer2]

I have heard of coaches who do things like this - I think that they do a major dis-service to their students when they won't support them for the competitions -- I have also heard that these same coaches will not participate in the club show, etc. - their students always end up losing out at some point. It is kind of sad.

I can understand not wanting to do ALL of the competitions, etc. - and this is where the "secondary coach" comes in, which is fine - if the students feels comfortable with that person.

Unfortunately it seems like the coaches who don't want to go to competitions are also the ones that forbid a secondary coach.

It's sad, really.

[skaternum]

I think I disagree with the general consensus. Unless your daughter is really young and really inexperienced at competition, I see absolutely nothing wrong with putting a child on the ice. "Putting on the ice" is not the same as coaching. All you have to do for a local comp is check the kid in, make sure they have music & costume, and help them get on & off at the right time. It's not like you need Frank Caroll to do that.

Why should the kid be penalized just because the coach won't do a particular comp? We had a coach at our rink who had a feud with the main coach at a different rink. He refused to let his skaters compete without him, and he refused to do any comp at the other rink. So his skaters were denied doing several local comps that would've given them more experience and helped them avoid travel expenses. They missed participating in the State Games just because of his juvenile grudge.

So I say, put the kid on the ice and let her have a good time. It's just a freakin' local comp, not the World Championships.

[vesperholly]

I know a coach who only does local competitions. If she has a student who wants to go to an out-of-town one, or regionals, she sends them with another coach - one who is friendly, has similar coaching philosophies and won't steal her students.

Is there a friendly older skater who will be at the competition who could put your daughter on the ice? Don't do it yourself, it's too distracting for kids. Heck, even adults - I wouldn't want my mom putting me on the ice, ever. :)

[twokidsskatemom]

I think I disagree with the general consensus. Unless your daughter is really young and really inexperienced at competition, I see absolutely nothing wrong with putting a child on the ice. "Putting on the ice" is not the same as coaching. All you have to do for a local comp is check the kid in, make sure they have music & costume, and help them get on & off at the right time. It's not like you need Frank Caroll to do that.

Why should the kid be penalized just because the coach won't do a particular comp? We had a coach at our rink who had a feud with the main coach at a different rink. He refused to let his skaters compete without him, and he refused to do any comp at the other rink. So his skaters were denied doing several local comps that would've given them more experience and helped them avoid travel expenses. They missed participating in the State Games just because of his juvenile grudge.

So I say, put the kid on the ice and let her have a good time. It's just a freakin' local comp, not the World Championships.
Her skater is 4 I think.
We dont know why the coach doesnt want to do the comp, maybe there is a good reason.

[Mrs Redboots]

Her skater is 4 I think.
We dont know why the coach doesnt want to do the comp, maybe there is a good reason.More probably rink politics - he or she probably feels that some other coaches "own" that competition and will sabotage their skaters- make sure something goes wrong with the music, for instance. I have heard coaches give that as an excuse for not allowing their skaters to enter a local competition. Sigh..... I pointed out to the coach in question that it was My Husband doing the music, and he would certainly not do anything like that, whatever other people might or might not do....

[Isk8NYC]

More probably rink politics - he or she probably feels that some other coaches "own" that competition and will sabotage their skaters- make sure something goes wrong with the music, for instance.
I never thought about that - maybe on "home ice" other parents/coaches are more likely to disparage the skater and the coach. I know that after our in-house comps, there's a lot of buzz about who was "sandbagging" and what coaches acted unprofessionally.

I witnessed an incident where a coach put the skater in the "wrong" Basic Skills level (meaning she didn't win, lol) and there was a huge row about it - the SD was furious because the coach blamed her office for the mixup. They no longer have an in-house competition at that rink, but the statement had been made about excluding that coach and/or his/her students from competing from now on.

[blue111moon]

Have you asked your coach why she won't do that competition? Maybe it's something as simple as having a family commitment like a vacation or a wedding or a birthday that weekend and has nothing to do with the rink or the competition?

I'd say talk to the coach, tell her you'd like your daughter to do the competition and why and see what she says.

And there's no reason why a parent can't put a skater on the ice, as long as the parent remembers to stay calm and not "coach" - just be there. If the parent is the nervous type, though, it might be better to find either another coach or one of the older skaters (teenagers) or parents who can be the one to stand at the gate with the child.

IMO, it's a good thing for the skater to get used to NOT having the coach at every competition.

[twokidsskatemom]

Have you asked your coach why she won't do that competition? Maybe it's something as simple as having a family commitment like a vacation or a wedding or a birthday that weekend and has nothing to do with the rink or the competition?

I'd say talk to the coach, tell her you'd like your daughter to do the competition and why and see what she says.

And there's no reason why a parent can't put a skater on the ice, as long as the parent remembers to stay calm and not "coach" - just be there. If the parent is the nervous type, though, it might be better to find either another coach or one of the older skaters (teenagers) or parents who can be the one to stand at the gate with the child.

IMO, it's a good thing for the skater to get used to NOT having the coach at every competition.
Im not sure if a 4 year old needs to get used to not having a coach. There is plenty of time for that later.This is a young child, not a preteen/teen
As I said, we dont know why. Maybe the coach doesnt think she is ready..or needs a break from comps. I would ask the coach.

[Tennisany1]

Im not sure if a 4 year old needs to get used to not having a coach. There is plenty of time for that later.This is a young child, not a preteen/teen
As I said, we dont know why. Maybe the coach doesnt think she is ready..or needs a break from comps. I would ask the coach.

ITA with this. I think talking to the coach is a good start. I believe littlekateskate has posted before about the number of competitions and shows her daughter does. It seemed like a lot to me, but then every child is different.

I really believe that a good parent / coach relationship is important in any sport a child participates in. I don't know you L.K.S., but you do seem to have a number of concerns about your daughter's coach. Perhaps it is time book an appointment with her coach and talk about your philosophy and her philosophy and set up some goals and guidelines. I can't see all this disagreement being good for your daughter or her skating.

[littlekateskate]

Just to make note. My daughter does do alot of competition/shows, but that is what she loves most about it. She gets so excited to go out in front of people. But she is fortunate because she has 4 yes FOUR ice rinks very close by. We have three all within a 10 minute drive. And of course they all have two "in house" type comps a year. Plus shows which we only do two of. Its not like she has to do new routines everytime or anything. We just continue our reg practice schedule and go to the contest

But for me the part that is disturbing is that this is the coaches home rink and there own inhouse competition. Her reason was because its close to a holiday (she is not going out of town and its not on the holiday). I just cant imagine very many coaches who wouldnt do their own rinks compeition. And generally these seem to me to be geared more towards the lower level skaters and that is all this coach has. But she doesnt mind going out of state (which we obviously dont do). Just seemed odd to me.

[twokidsskatemom]

Just to make note. My daughter does do alot of competition/shows, but that is what she loves most about it. She gets so excited to go out in front of people. But she is fortunate because she has 4 yes FOUR ice rinks very close by. We have three all within a 10 minute drive. And of course they all have two "in house" type comps a year. Plus shows which we only do two of. Its not like she has to do new routines everytime or anything. We just continue our reg practice schedule and go to the contest

But for me the part that is disturbing is that this is the coaches home rink and there own inhouse competition. Her reason was because its close to a holiday (she is not going out of town and its not on the holiday). I just cant imagine very many coaches who wouldnt do their own rinks compeition. And generally these seem to me to be geared more towards the lower level skaters and that is all this coach has. But she doesnt mind going out of state (which we obviously dont do). Just seemed odd to me.
The coach can make her own choices, just like you can. Maybe she doesnt want to be stressed out working on new programs and dealing with parents right before a holiday.Maybe she feels like her students do enough comps.
It doesnt matter how much your daughter at such a young age loves to perform. One comp isnt going to make or break her.
I can tell you some coaches dont like doing very local comps. Its the same kids vs the same kids.No fun for skaters, parents or coaches, if you already can figure out who will place well.
I really think you need to worry a little less about how many she does a year, or she will be burnt out by the time she is 6 or 7. Imo anyway.

[babyrabbit]

I too would be irritated if my coach of my basic skills child wouldnt do our in house competition. Those contest are for the umm Basic Skills students. And if she is only willing to do away contests then she needs to get students who are not basic skills.

And I disagree with previous poster. Basic skill level contest the kids change all the time. We never see the same kids over and over. As they move levels so quickly at this age. Plus they arent necessarily serious skaters and alot of them quit and new ones come.

I would totally be looking for a new coach. Who cares if you daughter does a lot of competitions. If that is the reason she enjoys skating and what keeps her motivated then I would say go for it. It is about what the child wants right? :) Good Luck

[twokidsskatemom]

I too would be irritated if my coach of my basic skills child wouldnt do our in house competition. Those contest are for the umm Basic Skills students. And if she is only willing to do away contests then she needs to get students who are not basic skills.

And I disagree with previous poster. Basic skill level contest the kids change all the time. We never see the same kids over and over. As they move levels so quickly at this age. Plus they arent necessarily serious skaters and alot of them quit and new ones come.

I would totally be looking for a new coach. Who cares if you daughter does a lot of competitions. If that is the reason she enjoys skating and what keeps her motivated then I would say go for it. It is about what the child wants right? :) Good Luck

Not in all places do basic skills skaters change so dont assume its the same everywhere. My daughter has skated with basically the same kids for 5 years now.She is way past basic skills but its still the same group.
And no. its not always about what the child wants.:giveup: Kids burn out, that is why you have both parents and coaches to help !!