To skate or not to skate

[Mercedeslove]

Last Monday my grandmother, who I am really close too, was diagnosed with lung cancer. It's spreading and is already in her glands. To say I haven't been myself since then is an understatement.


As much as I love skating in my mind a part of me is saying. 'Why bother skating anymore, what's the point'. I honestly don't know what to do.

I was wondering if anyone here has gone through something like this and can tell me what they did or give me ideas.

Please

[jazzpants]

I actually skated when my mother was dying in the hospital. It was the only thing that kept my sanity in check given the situation. I also skated 3 days after she passed on b/c, again, that's what kept my sanity...

My suggestion in this situation is to spend as much time as you have left with her now... but don't feel guilty about going b/c you need the ice time.

[SkatingOnClouds]

Gosh, it's hard to say. Only you know how you are feeling.
I have a skate mate who has just been through the cancer death of her husband. It was a slow process. Skating was about her only respite at that time - yet at times she felt guilty for snatching a couple of hours a week from his bedside.

If you are anything like me, just stroking around and around does me good. The sound of the blades on the ice, the cold wind on my face, and the sensation of almost flying. It does it for me almost every time.

I am sure everyone who reads your post feels for you. My advice is, if it feels good, if it feels right, do it. It can be a real sanctuary from sadness.

[Sessy]

The point is that you only have a limited lifespan as well and should be doing what is making you happy in the short time you have. You can cut down on skating, of course, to be more with your grandma and there for your family, but don't quit skating because of "what's the point". What's the point of anything, if you go about it that way? The point of life isn't existance itself, it's doing something with your life, in your life.

If you wanna react off some stress but can't find time to skate, try rollerblading - even cheap rollerblades will do, though I find quad roller skates (even cheap ones) more comfortable than inline skates. At night rollerblading down the streets (do get a few reflective sleeves though so you do this safely, and stick to well-lit streets so you see if there's any twigs on the ground) with the cold wind flushing past your body, just sweating out the stress of the day - and this won't take more than a half an hour a day and you can do it anywhere, anytime (at the times which aren't visiting hours at the hospital). Keeps up the skating muscles great, and helps the balance too - not to mention your health as a general thing.

Besides you can make video's of your skating for your grandma, I'm sure she'll love to see it. You can watch them together, you can tell her about the new elements you've learned and ballet lessons and such :) When my great-grandma died (she raised me for the greater part of my childhood, cuz mom wasn't up to it) her main concern wasn't that she was dying, she knew it was her time and there wasn't much she could do about it. Her main concern was, what were mom and I gonna do after she'd left, how would we go on and whether or not we would be OK and stuff, whether or not we'd be happy. It's amazing how smart old people are, my great-grandma predicted with eerie exactness what would happen after she'd be gone. And she worried about that a lot, cuz she loved mom and me and she wanted us to be happy and well after she'd be gone.

Maybe for your grandma, the realisation that you've got something you enjoy so immensely in your life will be sort of like, "ok, she'll make her own happyness, she'll be fine!" and in that, a kind of peace of mind... Am I making sense here?

[Mrs Redboots]

What does your grandmother think? Does she want you to stop skating and spend that time hovering around her, or does she want you to go out there and skate and have fun, and then come and see her and tell her all about it?

[Terri C]

Mercedes,
This exact time of year two years ago I was dealing with my mother's decline from gallbladder cancer. About a week or so before she died I was called off from work for the day. When I told my Dad this (we were all in the same house and taking care of her) he told me to go skate.
I also was planning to attend the Peach Classic that year and was debating whether to go or not, since Mom was ill. When I asked her about going, she told me she wanted me to go and have a good time.
When she was brought to the hospital for the last time, I cancelled all lessons until she passed. She did not want a funeral, only to be cremated and interred.
So the day after she passed away, I walked in to the rink and had a lesson with my Primary Coach that afternoon, telling her I had seven weeks to go until Peach and "let's get to work." I poured all my grief onto the ice and skated well at Peach.

[SynchroSk8r114]

“Through my skating, I've learned so much about myself. My sport taught me what I could do with my talents, whether in the rink or in the rest of my life. I think exercise tests us in so many ways, our skills, our hearts, our ability to bounce back after setbacks. This is the inner beauty of sports and competition, and it can serve us all well as adult athletes.” - Peggy Fleming

Hopefully that'll inspire you to hit the ice. Sure, spend as much time as you need with your Gram, but like others have said, nothing would probably make her more happy than to know that you're happy. So whether that means skating or no skating, you have to do what feels right for you. Prioritize.

I know when my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, I was sad and upset, but still managed to skate. My grandfather was the one who bought me my first pair of custom Harlicks (that I just broke down after 8 years in them), and knowing that he sacrificed so much money to give me something that would make me happy made me want to keep skating through his illness because, in a way, I felt like I was helping make him feel happy. He always enjoyed watching me skate and compete (he came to every in-town competition), and even when he was too sick to come watch me, I always had something to tell him that I know cheered him up. :halo:

[Mercedeslove]

This will be a short reply because I;m crying too much to see the screen.

Thank you for all your wonderful kind words. I will keep this in mind. I have until July 10th until group lessons start up again. I will make my choice then.

**hugs everyone** again thank you