Changing Coaches

[icemom60]

I'm still pretty new to the skating world and need some advice on the right way to change coaches.

My DD has been with a coach for the past year and I've noticed that they really aren't meshing too well these days and I'd like to make a coaching change.

I'm not sure of the protocol to follow. Do I find a new coach first and then let the current coach go, or do I let the current coach go and then start the search for a new one?

I just want to do it the right way.

Thanks for your help.

[chantelly]

Will you be staying at the same rink if you change coaches? This would obviously make things more awkward (but no less need to be polite). Have things gone too far to discuss things with your current coach? I would tend to let the first one know you are leaving before approaching any others but I haven't changed before (apart from when I left to have my kids and came back to skating with a new one!) and it may be that there are no other coaches with spaces in your area so you may find yourself without a coach if you do it that way?

[SynchroSk8r114]

I made a major coaching switch after being with my old coach for 12 years! Why? Well, I was making limited progress with my doubles and was suffering from serious skating self-esteem issues from being told that I'll "never make it past" this move or that level. In addition to that, my coach just wasn't putting forth the same effort that I was - definitely not a 100/100 relationship. She was almost hoping that we'd leave her because it would make time for younger students, which she felt she could shape into her next Jr. National champions. We were wasting some serious money, and looking back now, I wish I would have switched coaches a lot sooner. Unfortunately, there was that whole comfort level - she was like a step-mom to me, you know?

We officially made the switch after my coach was just outwardly rude to my family and me at a test session. She basically was like, "Yeah, well I kind of figured you weren't going to pass. Oh well. I have to get to a hair appointment and pick up my kids." She went on vacation, told us she'd call us when she got back, and never did! 8O Needless to say, we were fuming. Because she didn't have the decency to call us, we wrote her a very nice note explaining why we were leaving (honestly), told her I would be picking up lessons with a new coach, made sure all of my lessons were paid for, and left it at that - on good terms, of course - everything's easier that way.

So, I know what it's like to have to make that uncomfortable change. As a coach, here's what I suggest you do:
-Keep an eye open for a coach you like. Watch how he/she coaches, how students progress, etc.
-Be upfront and honest with your prospective instructor. Tell him/her that you're considering switching coaches and why and see if there is anytime available for your child to take lessons.
-Talk with your current coach and tell them why you want to switch - just be honest! Because you said that your child and the coach aren't meshing too well, chances are your coach may feel that same way...

Basically, once you break away from your current coach, I would say you're free to go with another coach. Just make sure that your old bills are paid, that you leave on good terms (the skating world's small - I'm sure you'll be seeing your ex-coach around...), and don't badmouth your old coach. As a coach, I personally do not contact my student's old coaches, although I know some coaches that will call and talk to a skater's old coach (to make sure finanical obligations are taken care of, there's no hostility, etc.)

In regards as to whether to contact a new coach or ditch the current one first, it's up to you. There's pros and cons to both...if you hire a new coach before leaving your old one, at least you're guaranteed that your child won't be stuck coachless. Just don't start lessons with the new coach until you've ended it with your old one. On the other hand, ditching the current coach before hiring a new one may save you some money in the meantime and will make sure that things don't get messy if word does get out.

If you do decide to look for a new coach first, keep it on the downlow and don't tell everyone at the rink what you're up to. Ask the prospective coach to keep it between you and him/her. Any ethical coach should abide by your request.

Good luck with this. As difficult and uncomfortable it can be, it all works out in the end, believe me! :D

[slusher]

Coach breakups are difficult. People love to gossip about them so I cannot emphasize enough to keep it as discreet as possible. I changed coaches quite a while ago, and I'm still running into people who think I'm with coach X, we all still skate on the same ice and I'm cordial as usual but it was a long while before other skaters realized that I wasn't taking lessons anymore. "Oh I had a lesson the other day" I'd say. When I'm asked why I changed, I say "it wasn't working out". Skating is a really small world. Quiet is good.

For the protocol, you don't step on the ice and take lessons from the new coach until the old one has been notified that he/she is no longer required and that all bills are paid. Whether you actually hire a new coach before you leave the old coach is up to you.

How you actually ask this goes as follows: Hi, I'm Mrs. Smith and my daughter is Sally. She skates at the ice centre with coach Jones. The reason I am calling is to see if you would be available for lessons in the future if our coaching situation changes.

Or: .... the reason I am calling is that my daughter Sally is looking for a new coach as we have split with coach Jones. Are you available to take on a new student? It could be no, or if it's yes the coach is then going to ask you lots of questions if she doesn't know Sally.

Ethical coaches won't discuss much beyond their availability for lessons while you're still engaged with the other coach. Anything more, even discussion of your skating ability (or child's) is soliciting. But, some coaches will talk generally, ie "all my preliminary skaters take lessons three times a week. I presently have room for a preliminary skater. If you currently do not have a coach then I would like to discuss this with you further". That tells you yes, she's interested.

I had called around for availibility and made sure that when I left coach X that I knew of five or six coaches who were taking on students. I then notified my old coach, and then I called new coaches and had in-depth discussions. I did trial lessons with two before I settled on the one I have.

This is my perspective as an adult skater. If I was changing coaches on behalf of a child, I would definitely take their input as to what they don't and do like about the present coach, but I would leave them out of the dismissal process other than letting them know that it's time to look for a new coach. However I would include them on the interviewing process with the new coach if it's someone the skater has never met before.

[Rusty Blades]

Coach/skater/parent is a relationship between people and should be handled like any interpersonal relationship.

The proper thing to do would be to express your concerns to the present coach and give her the chance to put things right and/or explain why things are the way they are. If the response isn't to your satisfaction, be honest and say that a change of coaches may be to everyone's benefit.

Once the problems have been brought to the attention of the current coach, it is not unreasonable to start interviewing other coaches. It is reasonable to explain to a perspective new coach why you are changing coaches but keep it polite and factual - leave personalities and emotions out of it.

When you come to arrangements with a new coach, settle your accounts with the old coach promptly and thank her for her services.

Skating is full of "personalities" and changing coaches can be akin to a divorce so partings don't always go smoothly or without hurt feelings but being candid, above-board, and honest is the best you can do.

[sk8guy]

Here's a link to a document on this subject from the PSA
http://www.skatepsa.com/Proper-changes.pdf

[CanadianAdult]

Good document. I'm not so sure about this part though
Future Coach
1) Direct the client to first make contact with the former coach.
2) When this has been done, contact the current coach. Make sure there is no possible
resolution to the situation.

Yes, definitely direct your prospective client to tell the old coach that you're done, but the only thing I'd call the old coach for would be to make sure that he/she has been paid up. I think it would be destructive to try to have any details of the break up. You're either the existing coach or you're not. I think maybe this is what they're trying to phrase out in item #2 in a more genteel way. ??

I did have a friend once who told the old coach that she was fired (with cause), and when the new coach called to confirm that bills were paid, the old coach denied being fired. So the new coach wouldn't take on the skater, and there was a darn ugly rink dust-up in public with all of them, I'm talking about something from ten years ago. I don't think anyone changed coaches in that rink for about a year after that, they were all so spooked.

Edited to add: I completely agree that changing coaches is like a divorce. I've changed coaches and although never have been divorced it was much more emotional that I'd imagined it would be.