no good deed comes unpunished......

[sceptique]

Need to vent really....

For a short and sweet while our little rink seemed to be "politics-free" zone... looks like honeymoon is over and here I am, still at the rink, at 2 am tryng to figure out what went wrong.

Somehow I managed to get a skater mom as my sworn enemy who seemed to have started a guerilla against me. I say guerilla because she never ever openly confronted me, on the contrary - always sweet and smiling. I never suspected her when I heard the first "warning bell" - someone harshly critisized one of my students' skating to her and her mom. I just signed it off as "misunderstanding" and asked a very experienced guest coach to check on her progress - he seemed pleased and assured me that the girl is doing quite well. Next someone told the same student's mom that I was about to quit coaching - which was a bit of news for me (someone's wishful thinking perhaps?) And finally a bits came together - there came a complaint addressed to my boss describing in very colourful details a few snafus attributed to me. I must say, she makes a few fair points, but all that could easily be resolved in a face-to-face conversation (it's a very frequent case when a customer asks for something - like "my daughter missed a couple of lessons and she seems to be struggling with this turn, can you explain it to her?" and I spend a few minutes after the lesson just with this kid). To put it blantly, the overall content and tone of the message makes it clear: she wants me out of the rink.
And that's something I do not get at all. OK, she likes her daughter's coach - so do I: she's a hard-working person and excellent teacher. She didn't like our LTS and switched to privates - ok, I agree that it's not perfect and we are working to improve it. Show me any other Skate UK programme that is impressively better and I will eat my soakies!
I just do not understand what she's trying to achieve by ousting me. The other coach, as far as I know, is booked nearly to the limit, so I doubt it's a case of covert student poaching. To me, the mom is cutting the branch she's sitting on, as any other manager will most certainly be less "figure skating friendly" (say, letting patch skaters use extra 15 minutes of resurfacing break - well, that's stops from tomorrow. At least I won't be taking any more heat for ice not being ready in time for public skating).
And the most important thing - what shall I do about her? Say something, ignore it, pretend nothing is going on? How would you handle a disruptive parent?

[dbny]

Does your boss like you, and is he supportive of you? If the answer to either is "No", then you are on thin ice. If the answer is "Yes", then you might proceed to look up your national skating organization's ethics rules. I cannot believe it is ethical to badmouth a coach to any of her students or students' parents. What this parent is doing is damaging not just to you but to your students and the school/club. You might be able to send a letter reminding everyone of the rules at your school/club and the ethical behavior that is expected of them. BTW, how do you know who is doing these things? Has your student's parent told you?

I'm not the best at this kind of thing, and have been the victim, in the past, of a coach gone crazy, so I hope others will chime in.

[sceptique]

I think, whatever thin ice was there, it melted long ago. I won't even get started, not worth it. I'm just hurt, that's all...
Spent all night investigating the incidents the woman listed. The week where she said her daughter joined our LTS classes.... it was Thursday afternoon, by which time I already clocked 51 work hours counting from Monday. The night before I clocked out 11:58 pm, which means I got home around 1 am, and next day I clocked in at 7:04 am... having slept about 5 hrs, probably even less. 2 coaches, one of whom is heavily pregnant and off sick most of the time, 40 students. The mom stated that she was unimpressed as her daughter didn't receive enough individual attention. Well, I was, actually, extremely impressed with myself for finishing the lessons and not passing out on the ice!
I know it's not how it should be, and customers don't see those things, what they see is just first impression - but at the same time I couldn't just walk in and say: "ok, everyone, I'm too tired to run the course today, please go home!", could I?

[peanutskates]

when the mum said her kid wasn't getting individual attention it was in a group lesson, right? on a skate uk course. what does she expect?

just tell her that her daughter is better than the other children, and you need to help the less able students. maybe the flattery will work.

i'm so sorry you're going through this. hope it passes soon.

[BatikatII]

Hi Sceptique
sorry to hear you are having problems. Unfortunatley you will always get them in a rink. Far too many parents think their kid is 'special' and therefore deserving of more coaches attention than all the others put together. Sounds like you may have one of these.

If your boss is amenable to discussion and friendly, then he/she can probably advise you how to respond. Otherwise it might be prudent to go to your boss before you are asked and explain the problems and ask for help on how to deal with the situation that caused the problem, eg too many students - coaches sick etc (not the specific mum to start with). That makes it a shared problem.

Then you write or speak to the parent (if they have written to you or if you have been passed the complaint to deal with) stating you understand their concerns but in group lessons there is limited time for a coach to give individual attention to any one student. If the rink has a maximum number in lessons policy and this was not exceeded then point that out. If it was exceeded but for a good reason, then you can mention the reason and propose some compensation you are providing for everyone (e.g adding additional free session at end of course for everyone, or a free public session ticket - public session tickets are probably better for you as involves no expense:lol: )

I did group courses for a year and we had 20 plus mixed adults and children in our group. If I got a minute of individual attention a session, I felt myself lucky. We were shown what we needed to do and left to practice it. Those that were really struggling tended to get the attention while those of us who could make a good effort just did and then practised ourselves afterwards. I saw it more as learning what you needed to know to pass, rather than being taught very much. In a year of courses I don't reckon I got more than about45 minutes of individual attention in 40 odd weeks of courses.

Disclaimer: I am not in management, nor have I ever run an ice rink so feel free to ignore advice!:lol:

Also I liked peanut skates idea of using the flattery angle - 'your daughter was doing so well the coach did not need to give her the same amount of attention as the others - how proud you must be of her - she would be able to benefit from private lessons soon' :halo: :lol:

edited: just noticed I was answering the LTS problem which from your original post is in the past and you have ongoing problems with this lady. In that case if you can't pass the problem on to your boss then I think you have to aks her to come in and meet with you to discuss any issues she may have. If she comes then you have to listen to any and all issues without interruption (write them down so she can see you are listenign ) and at the end let her know that you will look into all of the issues she has raised and will get back to her. Dont' attempt to solve any problems right there and then or to refute any claims she makes - just smile sweetly and let her know you take all problems raised seriously and you will discuss them with management and other coaches and get back to her. This allows her to vent whatever frustrations she is feeling which may be all she needs and gives you time to construct positive answers that will hopefully get her off your back. Give yourself a time say 2 weeks and make sure she knows she can expect an answer within that time.

Alternatively - tell her you don't need her sort at the rink and ban her!!!!!! :) That's a last resort mind!!!

[dooobedooo]

Whatever you do, always look supremely confident and in control! YOU know how good you are at your job - all the aspects that a lot of people never even think about!

Smile and be courteous, and don't give the game away that she is bugging you.

Some people express their competitive nature with her kind of nonsense.

I do go along with the suggestions from Peanutskates (your daughter is so capable ...) and Batikat (give her plenty of attention (up to the limit of getting her views), let her vent, write it down and give yourself a couple of weeks to come up with a considered reply).

As an ice rink manager, 'spect that as you gain experience, this kind of thing will all soon be "water off a duck's back" or "snow off a polar bear's nose" for you. Hope so!

[teresa]

Aren't the behaviors at a skating rink something?! Takes my breath away sometimes! What I find really interesting is that most of the "talk" is untrue and just gossip. Saying that, watch what you say. The same parents, skaters and coaches who tell stories will be the same ones who share any nice comments you make about their child too. You may say things great but goodness knows what other parents will hear. It's hard to win in this situation. Good luck! Maybe a group compliment to all the children and parents could help. You could explain the rules and how group lessons work at this time too. Most people aren't like this, but they are out there!

teresa