Frustrated!

[WannabeS8r]

Hi, guys! Just stopping by for a piece of advice.

I am so frustrated . . . at my coach.

I am not exactly satisfied with the amount private lessons I am getting with my coach... last week was the only 30 minutes I got to have a lesson with her in TWO WHOLE MONTHS (since late March). Is she a coach, or what? Either she's gone to competition, or her schedule is *too full*, or she's supposedly sick.. like, this week I am supposed to have a lesson on Saturday and she told me she's going to a competition that day (with some other skater).. She doesn't even treat me "seriously", skating-wise; she doesn't even bother to start working on specific programs with me or anything, let alone teaching me new things. Last lesson, we just reviewed the jumps I have consistent by heart, and never even encouraged me to practice my axel or anything (which I KNOW I am capable of landing with some correct instructing).

On the top of that, I am going to Russia for the next couple months (mid June-August) and most likely I won't get lessons at all due to their coaching policy. How will I get my axel consistent? Who will tell me if my step sequence looks fine or not? I feel like I am not getting anywhere. I know that you should always improve things you can all ready do, and that's exactly what I am doing. But I can't go on like that for MONTHS. I am, too, anxious and willing to be taught more difficult jumps and complicated spins (such as the layback, which my coach is kind of IGNORING). Maybe I have to make it clear to her that skating for me is not just a temporary "hobbie", that I won't learn as much as I can. Even though, I've been irritated for weeks that she is always putting off lessons and saying she's busy/sick/away. Should I get a new coach? But then, my current one is a really good coach and she could teach me so much if she understood that I AM taking it seriously. I'd appreciate any comments about similar situations/advice from you guys. :?:

[Debbie S]

I would recommend discussing (calmly) your concerns with your coach and see what she says and how she reacts. If the two of you can't come to an understanding about your goals and an action plan to achieve them, including a regular lesson schedule, then it sounds like you need to look for a new coach when you return from Russia. Your coach may be a great technical coach, but if she's not going to apply her expertise to your skating, then having lessons with her is kind of a waste of your money.

It's possible that you really aren't ready to learn the more advanced jumps and spins you are talking about just yet - you may need more of a foundation in the basics or in certain prerequisite skills - and your coach is just trying to help you develop those by working on what you can already do. I haven't seen you skate, so I'm just throwing out a possible explanation.

[xofivebyfive]

Having personally skated with you, I definitely think you deserve better. I think what you should do, is tell your coach what your goals are, and what you would like to accomplish in the next couple of months or so. I know that you want your axel really badly, and I know that with coaching, you could land it easily. I've seen what you can do, and I think that if you keep getting blown off by her, you should seriously consider getting a new coach.

I know you've been really frustrated in the past, but you'll get to where you want to be eventually, even if it means parting ways with your current coach.

With my coach, sometimes she wants to spend a whole lesson give me new things to perfect on things that I thought were already perfected. I'm the kind of person that if you tell me what I need to fix, and I understand, then I'm good to go practice it on my own and I don't need to do back crossovers for 15 minutes while my coach watches, so sometimes I tell her that I really need something new and different to work on, because I'm getting bored, and I can practice fixing all the little imperfections on my own time. So next lesson we're going to work on the axel again and a few new spins and mitf. So maybe you should try that with your coach(unless you already did, and she said you aren't ready, which I think is a load of bull.)

Keep me posted on what you decide to do. You know I'm here for you if you need me/if you need to rant. *big hug* ORR you can just pay me to coach you :lol:

[WannabeS8r]

Thanks for recommendations, Debbie and Laura. I was trying to talk to my coach about my goals and everything a while ago but we always seem to go a bit off topic when it comes to that subject. Maybe I can ask her next week about getting taught an axel more seriously (if she’s there, that is), as you suggested, Laura. I appreciate the input!

Another thing that I find weird is how my coach treats one of her other pupils, a nine-year-old with four inconsistent, wobbly singles (along with horrible edges and basic skills). Laura may recognize this as the girl modeling a dress on my coach’s website. ;) So, my coach, is teaching this kid LUTZES who can't even do backward crossovers properly without her blades wobbling in every direction (not the blades’ fault, it’s the technique). I am not doubting my coach’s judgment or anything (ALL RIGHT, maybe I am, but I can’t type that since she is always so genuinely kind but she doesn’t seem to have the same priorities for me as I do for myself). I don’t know… what’s up with her teaching this kid lutzes and back camels when she’s got absolutely no technique or recognizable basic skills or whatsoever (while I do tons of axel prep successfully and all my single jumps are practically polished)? Okay, well, not THAT polished, but I believe good enough for some measly 1 and a half turns in the air!

ORR you can just pay me to coach you :lol:

I'll take your offer into my consideration, but I think I may need someone with a more experienced coaching background. :halo: LOL.

[xofivebyfive]

Orrrr, I can be nice and continue *advising* you to do certain things differently, on Saturdays. :halo:

But yeah, talk to her, and if she still tells you that you need more work before doing an axel, I'd start looking for a different coach. You need someone who believes and you and encourages you to do better and to accomplish your goals, not someone who hinders your progress, when obviously you're ready to do more advanced things.

[sceptique]

On the top of that, I am going to Russia for the next couple months (mid June-August) and most likely I won't get lessons at all due to their coaching policy.

If you are going to stay in Moscow, there are loads of opportunities to train. If you will be with someone who speaks Russian, ask them to check out this web site: www.tulup.ru - there are plenty of classified ads from coaches offering lessons.

There is a lady for example, who offers lessons for English-speaking foreigners as well: 8-903-738-1002 (Natalia)

[xofivebyfive]

If you ar going to stay in Moscow, there are loads of opportunities to train. If you will be with someone who speaks Russian, ask them to check out this web site: www.tulup.ru - there are plenty of classified ads from coaches offering lessons
I think her problem was that she said that usually Russian coaches look for 6 year olds doing doubles, and that they wouldn't want to teach a 12 year old only working on her axel. But if there is a coach that is willing to coach her, I would be ECSTATIC.

[sceptique]

usually Russian coaches look for 6 year olds doing doubles

...while they also look for some hard cash.
There skating "schools" (there you need to have certain skills by certain age to stay in the group), and there are also "recreational" groups (including adult ones) and, of course, private lessons.

If you want to, I can post a "coach wanted" note on tulup.ru and see if anyone gets in touch, then PM you their details.

[xofivebyfive]

Yeah send a message to her and figure out where she'll be staying, because I really want her to make some progress this summer, as it is peak training season because of the lack of school(YAY).

I sound like her mother or something.. lmao.

[WannabeS8r]

Orrrr, I can be nice and continue *advising* you to do certain things differently, on Saturdays.

But yeah, talk to her, and if she still tells you that you need more work before doing an axel, I'd start looking for a different coach. You need someone who believes and you and encourages you to do better and to accomplish your goals, not someone who hinders your progress, when obviously you're ready to do more advanced things.

That sounds good! So maybe you could advise me on stuff while she's not there. Thanks for being so encouraging and optimistic!

If you are going to stay in Moscow, there are loads of opportunities to train. If you will be with someone who speaks Russian, ask them to check out this web site: www.tulup.ru - there are plenty of classified ads from coaches offering lessons.

There is a lady for example, who offers lessons for English-speaking foreigners as well: 8-903-738-1002 (Natalia)

Thank you for the info, I've never seen that website before. I am not going to Moscow, but to Chelyabinsk, my hometown. Russian is my first language. ;) There are only two rinks there; one that has a "skating school" and coaches but I don't think I fit their standards. If not skating-wise, money-wise, anyway. The second one is like a speed skating rink and they don't even have sessions open for public other than for their athletes. I'll check out that website (I wonder if there are any open-minded coaches in my town... that don't charge $200 per lesson).

Oh, and that would be wonderful if you could post a message for me, Sceptique. Just make sure it's in Chelyabinsk. ;)

[sceptique]

There are only two rinks there; one that has a "skating school" and coaches but I don't think I fit their standards. If not skating-wise, money-wise, anyway.


Well at least this page says "Uralskaya Molniya" has public skating sessions and skating instructors... maybe worth giving them a call, just to check?
http://www.um74.ru/Uslugi.htm

[WannabeS8r]

Well at least this page says "Uralskaya Molniya" has public skating sessions and skating instructors... maybe worth giving them a call, just to check?
http://www.um74.ru/Uslugi.htm

Woah, I didn't know my rink had a website! Thanks for the link (again!). It is much appreciated. I'll probably try to contact them once I get there. ;)

Oh, and the best thing is; that rink is located on my street.

[slusher]

I had a massive blow up with my coach and one of the sticking points was the amount of lessons. I wanted more than I was getting and I wasn't getting much and basically my coach was overbooked. This was my dance-guy who I adore and respect but the lessons thing was really awful.

I wrote a nice letter and said that I was going to take elsewhere, if he was okay with that, great, I'd take what I could get, and if it wasn't okay, we were done. Yes it was an ultimatium. Ka-Boom!

Several months later we got back together. There wasn't that much more time, but it was used better and he said that he didn't know what my goals were* until I wrote them down. So, before you go crazy, try writing a letter.


*the stinking European and I'm still working on it.

[SynchroSk8r114]

Seriously, I had the same thing happen to me last year with my coach of 12 years. I was basically stuck at my doubles, told I was not going to get any further than Intermediate freestyle and was being held back on dance because my coach believed that passing Gold dances can take skaters up to 10 years. Yes, she got my through my Senior MIF and I appreciate that, but I was just not being pushed enough. The majority of our lessons went along the lines of 'Oh, you aren't physically getting that? Well, let's move on...'

Last August I made a decision to switch coaches and it was the best possible thing for my skating. Since switching to two new coaches (one for freestyle, one for dance), I have been landing more consistent doubles, actually getting my feet crossed on my doubles, improving my spin/spin positions, and have passed all my Silver dances and my Killian (Pre-Gold) in just 9 weeks! My dance coach and I have determined that one of our goals in to pass the rest of my Pre-Gold dances (Blues, Starlight, and Paso) by the end of the summer and my freestyle coach wants to test my Intermediate this summer. My skating has gotten so much better - speed, presentation, elements...everything! - and I am so much happier. It's sad to think I wasted so much time, money, and energy on someone who wasn't willing to give me back the same effort I was giving them. Even with a coaching relationship, everything needs to be 100% from both parties...

My old coach really beat down my self-confidence, and looking back I wish I would have made a change years ago. But at the time, after being in a coaching relationship with her for my whole skating career - it was like well, breaking up with a boyfriend or something, hahaha! Honestly, though - you need to do what's right for you. You can worry about hurting someone else's feelings or being uncomfortable with the situation. That'll all pass. You need to put yourself and your skating first and find someone who's willing to work with you to meet your goals, help you overcome hurdles, push you when you feel like giving up, and so on...

Good luck and I hope all pans out well for you in the end!