How much is too much?

[beegeemom]

I have a 5 yo dd who loves to skate. I think she'd sleep with her skates on if I let her.

Anyway, around here we have spring, summer, fall and winter skate - with June and July completely off. Winter skate just ended on Sunday, and I opted not to put her in spring skate, assuming she could use the break. I don't want her to get burnt out kwim?

Currently she takes gymnastics on Sat and her and my ds are playing soccer one night a week starting end of May.

For the past two days every other sentance out of her mouth has been asking why she can't go skating. I'm feeling pretty bad now. I kind of thought she'd like the break, but I guess i was wrong. I'm just worried that if I put her in now, she will get overloaded with everything. Soccer will only overlap for 2 weeks, so it's not bad, but it just seems like a lot. Spring skate is 2-3 nights a week.

Anyone had experience in this and wants to shed some light for me? Dd rarely asks me for anything, except skating. I just don't want her to dislike it because she's doing it too much.

[Isk8NYC]

Assuming she can get around the rink by herself without assistance since she's been in lessons for several sessions already, I would set up a playdate (or two) with a friend to skate at a public session. This is a good activity for school vacations and breaks in the other activities' schedules.

When this season's commitments are fulfilled, make plans for next year. Maybe she would rather skate than do gymnastics.

[jskater49]

There's two ways of looking at it. Number one - you are the parent. You get to decide her schedule. When my daughter was younger she did a lot of stuff and frankly, the person who got overwelmed was me. She handled it fine. So, keeping in mind that you get to decide the schedule, you can also follow her lead, if she's not overwhelmed, let her do as much as you see she can handle, but remember you don't have to run yourself ragged just because she can handle a lot of activity. It won't kill her to sit something out.

j

[beegeemom]

Thanks for your replies. I would just let her go skate on a free session, but they don't offer that this time of year. They only have spring skate, which is essentially open ice for an hour and a half 3 times a week. I'm not sure I'd put her in all 3 days anyway.

She seems to want to do it awfully badly, and it might catch her up in her levels anyway (she's currently competing a level above where she should be)

Really struggling with the decision right now.

[sk8ermom]

If she loves it- why not do 1 night a week. If the money isn't a problem, why not let her do it? 2 nights a week shouldn't be too bad especially since soccer doesn't start for awhile.

[AW1]

My daughter is 5 also (turning 6 in May) and has always had a very full-on schedule with activities outside schooling.

Currently our schedule is

Monday : gymnastics (1.5 hours)
Tuesday : Figure Skating private lesson, practice, then strength/stretch class and acrobatics (2.5 hours)
Wednesday : Figure skating group lesson, practice time, off ice training (2.5hours)
Thursday : gymnastics (1.5 hours)
Friday : Figure skating private lesson, practice (1-1.5 hours)
Saturday : Ballet, Jazz, Singing, Drama (2 hours)

As you can see, she does HEAPS! And I agree with jskater49, it's ME who gets totally overwhelmed with the amount of stuff she does. I have found that she never gets sick of it, and often she whinges when we have to leave 8O ... I thought this year with her starting in grade 1 with homework and everything it would be difficult to fit this all in, but she copes very well. I was also worried about her burning out at a young age, but in all honesty while her desire is strong, I'm going to keep her going to whatever she wants.

Good luck with your decision!

[3skatekiddos]

I am struggling with the same dilema. My DD is 4 and has skated 3 days a week for the winter with 15 min privates and 1 hour lessons per session. She was freaking out at the thought of not skating for the summer ( this is all she does at this point ) I had talked to her about taking some ballet or gymnastics which I know she'd like too but she wants to skate too.
Her coach was just telling me last night that she runs a summer skate program from July 2 to Mid Aug. It runs either 5 days a week or 3 days a week with an hour and fifteen skate in the morning and afternoon and off ice trainning and activities. So I am going to put her in 5 days a week all summer.

JUST KIDDING. :)

I think she is going to put together a program just for DD where she goes 3 days a week just in the mornings. Then she can still skate and do a bit of the off ice stuff but I think that would be more age appropriate for her at this time. She still likes to nap in the afternoon for heavens sake.
My question is this : At the rate she is going she will be done her Canskate by the end of the summer if not sooner. The next step with our club is intermediate and she will be the youngest by far. She will still get to skate with "her" coach but I am worried about the group lessons and such. She is just little and acts like it ! Although I guess I will have a preview of what it will be like with the camp this summer. She will be the youngest there as well.
I think I am worrying in advance LOL

[cathrl]

I think it's right to worry if a child is not only spending all their free time in organised activity, but they're doing so with much older kids. They need some time just to play, both with other kids their own age and on their own. And to do other activities which have nothing to do with skating, or achieving, but are just there for fun.

And there needs to be time for other family members to have a life too. It won't help the kids if YOU get burnt out because of all the driving around and waiting at the rink. They need you to stay supportive and enthusiastic, not barely coping. I'm saying this as someone who was barely coping, right up until my daughter hurt her knee (not skating) and gave up figure lessons to concentrate on dance. I didn't realise until I got a bit of untimetabled life back just how much I'd missed it, and how much I'd started to hate going to the rink. I got one evening a week back, and now I'm enthusiastic again.

[beegeemom]

At the rate she is going she will be done her Canskate by the end of the summer if not sooner. The next step with our club is intermediate and she will be the youngest by far. She will still get to skate with "her" coach but I am worried about the group lessons and such. She is just little and acts like it ! Although I guess I will have a preview of what it will be like with the camp this summer. She will be the youngest there as well.
I think I am worrying in advance LOL

Mine is in level 4 canskate currently, and they want to move her ahead again but thankfully her private coach said no. However, I think I'll put her on Junior ice next year instead of the canskate group lessons, because I find she gets bored with canskate. She much prefers open ice and will actually work on what she's supposed to then. Not sure if it's the way our canskate program is ran or not, who knows. They do have advanced canskate, but I can't make the times, nor can she have her private coach, so I'm thinking junior is the way to go, she can finish off her canskate levels on junior ice.

I guess maybe it is me that's getting burnt out, not her! LOL. I'm going to see if I can just put her in one or two nights. I also believe that kids should have lots of free time to just be kids, which is why I was struggling. But, that being said, she does have a lot of free time just to play outside, play barbies and be a normal 5yo. Of course, all her barbies skate. LOL

[3skatekiddos]

Well I have 3 kids so I have pretty much written off my life for the next few years. I'll get it back, no worries there, but the focus is on them for now.
Oldest DS plays rep hockey and now is trying some figure skating, DD skates and youngest DS just is :)
DD has lots of time to play and be a kid in her day to day life and loves to bike and scooter etc so I am not worried about overloading her. I just wonder how she will be with older girls. She can be a real PITA and with older kids she gets away with it because they think she's cute so I am going to use the summer sessions as a guide for fall. I am thinking 2 skates a week and maybe a ballet class. For variety. She is currently in stage 5 and I *imagine* she will be there for a bit. She spins really well but doesn't have the co-ordination to jump well. Although I love to watch her try. Hee hee:twisted:

[AW1]

She spins really well but doesn't have the co-ordination to jump well. Although I love to watch her try. Hee hee:twisted:


You know one day it will just click with her and she'll get it! My daughter is 5 and has just got her loop jump. She's learned all her jumps so far .. all her other jumps she learned when she was 4 or just turned 5 thereabouts. It was like one morning she woke up and everything just fell into place for her .. I've heard this is quite common for young kids, so hopefully your DD will get her jumps soon enough! ;)

[Kay]

I can really see how as a parent, that would be a tricky decision since you are ultimately responsible for making the decision for your daughter. I'm not a parent, but I can give you the point of view of a skater if that helps.

Growing up, I was a very competitive figure skater. I only went to public school 3.5 days a week to allow for skating, and I was skating on the senior session at age eight since I passed my Jr. Silver Freeskate test. I absolutely was in love with figure skating and everything about it. Then, I hit a growth spurt and two two years to "get back" all of my doubles. I secretly hated how much I was skating at the time, because I kept up with my schedule and I felt like the more I skated, the worse I got. I didn't really say much about not liking it, although I think my parents could tell. But you know what? My parents kept encouraging me and supporting me, and I kept skating and came through it. I have now competed at provincial levels, and I am currently skating for my university on their varsity team. I am even more in love with the sport than I ever have been before.

Conversely, I skated with another girl who was a very talented young skater and who loved to skate. Unfortunately, her mother kept pushing, pushing, pushing her - she took her out of school and home schooled her, and they actually moved so they could be closer to the arena (which was previously 40 min away) All she did was figure skate and take ballet to improve her figure skating. Finally, she couldn't take it any more - she refused to skate or have anything to do with skating. She went back to school, and ended up playing hockey for the school team, since she was so good on her blades, and then her mother started pushing, pushing, pushing her in hockey, so she quit that too.

The point of this story is that as long as your daughter has that passion deep down, let her skate. Moderate it so that she doesn't get too burnt out, and always keeps her in other activities so that her entire self-esteem isn't built on just skating alone. I also played competitive soccer right up until last year, which is a great cross training sport for figure skating. Soccer will keep up her endurance and leg strength, but also gives her the experience of being on a team and socializing, to balance the individual nature of figure skating.

As long as it is your daughter wanting to skate, and not you wanting her to skate, you should be in the clear. Make sure that your entire world isn't built on figure skating, no matter how competitive she becomes, and she will likely be a life-long lover of figure skating. All the best to you!

[3skatekiddos]

That's awesome advice.
And I love it from your point of view. I spend A LOT of time reminding myself that it is the kids that are doing the sport, NOT ME !!! I have real issues with parents ( in any sport ) who use the term "we" when referring to practices,games, competitions. It isn't "we" it is "them".
I am competitive by nature but I think as long as I am aware that I have the potential to get out of control I ( see I said I , LOL ) will be fine and as a direct result, they will be fine too.
There is a fine line between supporting, encouraging and pushing. Someone should offer a course. Or better yet, it should come with the handbook we are supposed to get when we have kids. Does anyone have an extra copy ? I seem to have lost mine:P

[Isk8NYC]

Kay - I absolutely agree that soccer is a good cross-training activity for skating, but only if the kid WANTS to play, as you pointed out.

My oldest played soccer every year from Pre-K to 5th grade. She hated running, hated kicking the ball, hated being hot and sweaty or cold and sweaty, hated getting up for the weekend games, hated going to afterschool practices. If she wasn't playing, she would walk away and not watch or cheer her team. You get the picture, right? She hated soccer.

So, why then did she BEG her father to sign her up year after year?
(Twice against my wishes?)

Because the 'cool girls' were on the soccer team and she liked hanging out on the sidelines to talk. It gave them a common bond. Of course, the clique she was friends with did nothing but complain about the coach(es), weather, field conditions, ball size, equipment, uniforms, drills, yadayadayada. So, there were no positives at all coming from this activity.

Smartest thing I ever did was refusing to re-sign her in 6th grade. (I did take her to games just to hang out. She doesn't cheer. :roll: )

Looking at it from the "I'm the parent" perspective, you have to also be able to recognize when a child is doing an activity that they don't like. Sometimes you have to be 'the bad guy' and make the hard choices for the child.
(Parent:Child Handbook, Page IV.6.34.128a. LOL)

[AW1]

(Parent:Child Handbook, Page IV.6.34.128a. LOL)

See I knew there was something wrong with my handbook, it stops at page II :lol:

[beegeemom]

Wow, thanks for the skater pov, it really helped a lot.

I think it's that skating has never been "my" sport, so it's hard for me to remember that she loves it a lot more than I do. LOL. I am learning to love it, but it's never been my thing if you kwim.

None of the kids in her class are in her skating group, she's a few levels higher than them, so I know it's not for social. She skates the whole time she's on the ice, and generally gets upset when it's time for her to get off.

So, after much deliberation, I've decided to put her in 2 nights into spring skate. She could do 3 easily, but the 3rd is a late night and she has school the next day.

Hey, at least I had one whole week outside of a rink. LOL. Monday we begin again.

Thanks for everyone's help.

[Tennisany1]

...Looking at it from the "I'm the parent" perspective, you have to also be able to recognize when a child is doing an activity that they don't like. Sometimes you have to be 'the bad guy' and make the hard choices for the child.
(Parent:Child Handbook, Page IV.6.34.128a. LOL)

I trust you will soon be posting a copy of this handbook so we can all have a copy, right? :lol:

[Isk8NYC]

I trust you will soon be posting a copy of this handbook so we can all have a copy, right? :lol:Wouldn't it be great if there was a Parent:Child Handbook available online? Too bad no two people agree on the same way of raising kids. LOL :lol:

[Logan3]

It is interesting the stories about soccer. My daughter adores soccer and makes me sign her up even if I do not want to. It is twice a week and the family's schedule is heavy so I could do withouth it. But she loves to run and the social part of it since a lot of kids from her school are in her team. The thing she hates about skating is that nobody from her school is there and usually she has to skate with older girls.

She is not a good soccer player but it gives her great joy being in the field.

[beegeemom]

I agree about the soccer, I'm willing to try it for a year, and if she likes it, fine. I just didn't want to overload us.

Last night was the first night of spring skate, and now I'm glad I put her in. She goes through these little slumps and peaks - not sure if that's normal or not - and she seems to have hit a peak currently. She was out there for the full hour and a half, and was upset when I told her it was time to go. She skated like crazy that whole time. So I guess we're back in 3 times a week. On the upside - this weekend is her last competition of the year, so at least she only has to do her solo a couple more times. :lol:

[Mrs Redboots]

Slumps and peaks are totally normal in skating! Each slump is actually - although it doesn't feel like it to the skater - at a higher level than the previous one.

I hope your daughter enjoys her competition. We have our first of the season this weekend!

[sk8ermom]

he social thing is a bit hard- my DD is on our sr session at 8 with upto 23 year olds, however, when her little brother skates-the ones her age are at the arena with their siblings. My DS also has friends his age that are at the rink with their sisters. last night i had todrag them out of the arena at 10 pm. They wish they could live there 8O