Where's the support?? [Archive]

Terri C

10-08-2006, 12:07 PM

The last few days, I've seen quite a few of snotty, elitist commments on the board.
I thought that this board was to bring together people for the love and support of skating.

Hannahclear

10-08-2006, 12:27 PM

Please explain how disagreeing with you is "elitist?"

Raye

10-08-2006, 12:28 PM

In spite of evidence to the contrary, many of us ARE here for you...

jazzpants

10-08-2006, 01:00 PM

In spite of evidence to the contrary, many of us ARE here for you...Yup! And you're gonna kick @$$ on your Bronze Moves test come December too!!! :twisted:

Leda

10-08-2006, 01:47 PM

I haven't been on in a while so I haven't noticed. but if someone's acting that way I would just politly tell them that they're making you feel bad.

e-skater

10-08-2006, 04:47 PM

First, you are gonna DO IT on Bronze moves in December, Terri!

Second, I think you DO have a lot of support here.

Third, my two cents on the forum. To me, a forum is place for *open discussion*, and sometimes debate. Meaning, not everyone is going to agree. Which does not mean support and love of skating are lacking on the forum. I see the varoius responses on the "touch a nerve" threads as reflective of the passion people have for skating, rather than a lack of support. Just my opinion.

e-skater

10-08-2006, 04:48 PM

First, you are gonna DO IT on Bronze moves in December, Terri!

Second, I think you DO have a lot of support here.

Third, my two cents on the forum. To me, a forum is place for *open discussion*, and sometimes debate. Meaning, not everyone is going to agree. Which does not mean support and love of skating are lacking on the forum. I see the various responses on the "touch a nerve" threads as reflective of the passion people have for skating, rather than a lack of support. Just my opinion.

dbny

10-08-2006, 04:49 PM

The last few days, I've seen quite a few of snotty, elitist commments on the board.
I thought that this board was to bring together people for the love and support of skating.

I agree, but there are always people, wherever you go, who are rude or thoughtless. Sometimes you just have to ignore them.

looplover

10-08-2006, 04:55 PM

The last few days, I've seen quite a few of snotty, elitist commments on the board.
I thought that this board was to bring together people for the love and support of skating.

I hope you didn't think mine was one of them...as a near 39 year old I just don't see age being a universal limiting factor in myself or other people I know, so I had to disagree.

cecealias

10-08-2006, 05:11 PM

Ditto. I don't think people are here to be elitist or to bash your opinions. On the flip side, this is a discussion board and just because someone doesn't necessarily agree with you it doesn't mean it's a personal attack.

crayonskater

10-08-2006, 05:19 PM

I saw people as disagreeing about four things:
a) whether age is a big factor
b) whether age is such a factor that USFSA should judge adults separately or to lower standards
c) whether the fact that judging is subjective is a problem to be fixed on the judging end or something to shrug off
d) whether comparing oneself with other adult skaters as to whether they've passed tests or not is helpful or harmful.

Didn't see any personal attacks.

Hannahclear

10-08-2006, 05:22 PM

Terri C

10-08-2006, 05:30 PM

I stand by every one of my statements and don't intend to run away because I've been called a "snotty elitist." That's not going to bother me. Please explain why anyone considers me such, referencing a particular post.

This is a discussion board and people disagree. I get snark.....I give snark. Hey, I'm from FSU.

I only WISH I could legitimately be elitist. I don't even have a frickin' axel. :lol:

Well then, please stop lecturing people on whether they should skate or why they didn't pass their test.
I'm tired of expressing a concern and/or making a point and some people call it "sour grapes" or "whining"!

dbny

10-08-2006, 05:32 PM

Hannahclear

10-08-2006, 05:36 PM

Well then, please stop lecturing people on whether they should skate or why they didn't pass their test.
I'm tired of expressing a concern and/or making a point and some people call it "sour grapes" or "whining"!

It seemed to me that you had an issue with your coach telling you that you didn't have a certain skill. Rather than talk to your coach, you came to this forum to talk about the issue and posted that she wasn't using the adult standard. I disagreed and the debate proceeded from there.

I'm not lecturing YOU about whether YOU should skate. I don't care if you do or not. I'm saying what MY philosophy is. Which is that if skating upsets a person, maybe THEY shouldn't do it. I have no idea if this applies to you or not. And that's MY opinion, which I am free to post.

dbny

10-08-2006, 06:25 PM

I'm not lecturing YOU about whether YOU should skate. I don't care if you do or not. I'm saying what MY philosophy is. Which is that if skating upsets a person, maybe THEY shouldn't do it. I have no idea if this applies to you or not. And that's MY opinion, which I am free to post.

It that's so, then maybe a more accurate way of presenting your philosophy would be to say "if skating upset me, I would quit".

You are certainly free to post your opinion; no one is disputing that. It's the way in which it was done that was perceived as negative. If your intent is to get an idea across, but offence was taken, then your idea went nowhere. It's more effective to tread gently.

Sk8pdx

10-08-2006, 11:27 PM

First, you are gonna DO IT on Bronze moves in December, Terri!

Second, I think you DO have a lot of support here.

Third, my two cents on the forum. To me, a forum is place for *open discussion*, and sometimes debate. Meaning, not everyone is going to agree. Which does not mean support and love of skating are lacking on the forum. I see the various responses on the "touch a nerve" threads as reflective of the passion people have for skating, rather than a lack of support. Just my opinion.

I couldn't agree more with you e-skater. Nicely stated too. :)

doubletoe

10-09-2006, 01:03 AM

It's true that there are nicer ways to say some of the things that have been said on this board, and I think those comments would be heard and internalized much more if they were phrased more gently. Everyone loses when a comment is perceived as an attack.
On the other hand, I think most of us posters are adults, and it's pretty hard to get an adult to change the way he/she communicates. Unfortunately, probably all you can do is figure out a way to put your own mental filters on the posts that are worded too bluntly. :(

jazzpants

10-09-2006, 02:14 AM

On the other hand, I think most of us posters are adults, and it's pretty hard to get an adult to change the way he/she communicates. Unfortunately, probably all you can do is figure out a way to put your own mental filters on the posts that are worded too bluntly. :(Trust me, it can be done thru proper training! You probably read about all those stories on the "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" articles on older copies of LHJ about a shrink who does marriage or couples counseling for couple who's on the verge of divorce. Number one thing you learn in couples counseling is the use of "I" statements as a way of expressing frustration w/o attack! It's takes time, but they eventually learn... and things are supposedly A LOT CALMER for it! (I think that's pretty much what dbny was advocating in her post, actually... and it's a wise thing to learn... save a person a lot of headaches too!!!)

cecealias

10-09-2006, 11:19 AM

Adults can change in their ways straight up through their 70s and 80s, and research has indeed proven that we can learn to change our behavior at late ages.

HOWEVER, THE CAVEAT is if the Adult is going to be EXTREMELY stubborn about changing their ways, you'll never see a difference.

I have seen many, many, many, MANY adults in skating go banging their head against the wall at something they want to learn but have a horrible time getting past it because they don't want to change their old ways. Too many are unwilling to change because things don't feel quite as comfortable at first, even if they give it try.

manleywoman

10-09-2006, 11:28 AM

As someone who doesn't post very often but lurks occasionally, my observation is that there are a lot of very sensitive souls on this board. I did NOT read the original thread that caused this current thread, so I don't know how anything was phrased. But my experience with skatingforums is that a lot of the people here are very sensitive and need a lot more support than other places I've visited.

For what it's worth.

doubletoe

10-09-2006, 11:37 AM

Trust me, it can be done thru proper training! You probably read about all those stories on the "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" articles on older copies of LHJ about a shrink who does marriage or couples counseling for couple who's on the verge of divorce. Number one thing you learn in couples counseling is the use of "I" statements as a way of expressing frustration w/o attack! It's takes time, but they eventually learn... and things are supposedly A LOT CALMER for it! (I think that's pretty much what dbny was advocating in her post, actually... and it's a wise thing to learn... save a person a lot of headaches too!!!)

Yes, that's true. I think the deciding factor is whether the person cares enough about the relationship to make that effort. I would like to think everyone on this board cares enough. . .

skate_star

10-09-2006, 11:53 AM

Ok, I haven't been posting in the topics that have the um.....disagreements, but I have an opinion on this and would like to be heard. Everyone has their own opinions, and everyone has the right to their own opinions. A lot of the time people don't agree, and that's okay. Sometimes things posted through the internet are taken different ways by different people because we don't know exactly what tone and such you meant to be saying things in. If you are reading a topic, and would like to post a reply, you have to think. Will this reply be beneficial to others, or will it just cause disturbance? Don't post something if it's just to annoy other people, or to get your point across once you have already been shot down. Also, don't get mad at others for having different opinions than your own. We all have to try to get along, and I actually believe that things have been working out pretty well so far.