Talking my man into skating

[Hannah]

So here's the million dollar question: How do I convince my husband-to-be to skate? I'm positive that he holds the prissy-skater image, though he doesn't really say it, and even though I told him about alllll the adult men who skate at the rink who are manly. I don't think he thinks that skating would even be fun. I also can't convince him that it is pretty darn good exercise (and bonus- it is cold in the rink so it takes longer to overheat).

I know there are guys on this forum... what makes you love skating?

[jazzpants]

Well, FWIW, I've been skating for 7 years and my hubby has yet to strap on a pair of skates, figure OR hockey!!! (He's not an active person...)

Fine with me. More ice for me!!! Plus if we skate pairs or ice dance, I'm not sure that our marriage would survive the fights! :twisted: :lol:

[NickiT]

Sometimes it's nice to have something just for you. In the years that I've skated my hubby has come on the ice about three times, but it's not his thing. He's really into his judo so we each have our own sport and that works out just fine.

Nicki

[Thin-Ice]

I agree with Jazzpants and NickiT -- it is nice to have something that's just yours. But if you just want to get him out onto the ice to TRY skating.. tell him that's what you want for a birthday/anniversary/wedding gift.. just an hour with him on the ice. Tell him it's a gift only HE can give you and it's your idea of romantic. If he's like most guys, he won't be able to resist... and he'll know it's a relatively inexpensive gift. But you're on your own when it comes to getting him out there a 2nd time! Good luck!

[sceptique]

I used all sorts of tricks and treachery. His main objection is not skating per se - he used to be a recreational skater back when I dreaded even a thought of slipping on a pair of boots! He really doesn't like my regime - waking up at 5:30 the latest, out of the doors at 6:15, on ice at 7:00. So we arrived to a very cumbersome compromise, but the only one that works. I skate till 9:00 on Saturdays, the go back home to pick him up and bring to the rink for his 10:00 Skate UK lesson. And of course I take care of his re-enrollments for the next block of lessons, so he doesn't get a chance to bail out! :lol: Having said that, he's very proud of his 3 turns and forward slalom and quite enjoys helping out with birthday parties. I don't know how about a great skater, but he'll sure make a great skater dad! (when we get round to it) ;)

[Skate@Delaware]

The only thing that worked for my husband was the green-eyed jealousy monster....when I told him I was going to pair-skate with another guy (who happened to be very handsome).....he suddenly started taking an interest in learning to be a better skater and going with me...I never told him that the guy was gay, or that we were only going to do one routine together....but it worked.
I know, I'm evil.:twisted:

[Kristin]

So here's the million dollar question: How do I convince my husband-to-be to skate?


Good luck with that one. My experience is that he either loves it or doesn't, period. It's not a matter of figure skating being a "girly" sport since you could always get him a pair of hockey skates if he is worried about "image."

The good thing about being married and having separate hobbies is that you always have something different to talk about when you do get together! :giveup:

[PhysicistOnIce]

This seems like an appropriate thread to introduce myself, although I may not be helping with the original question.

I've been skating since Christmas 2004 and took up skating as it was a sport
that my wife could do and that we could do together (we are slowly progressing towards dance).

We have always done some sort of sport together (we met at the University
fencing club), however when my work (and in particular the travel aspect
of it) meant that lugging a huge bag full of fencing gear around the world
every few weeks wasn't going to work I wanted something to get some
exercise (and lose some weight) that we could do together.

My wife helped me stay upright for the first few sessions and I've since
progressed to private lessons and can at least see slow progress.

As to why I enjoy it, I like the challenges that it brings up every day (I know
that no matter how long I skate I'll never run out of things to learn or
skills to improve) and now that we have got around to trying out the
first few preliminary dances together, I really enjoy those (I know, its sad,
most people can't stand the Dutch Waltz, etc, and I'm not saying that they
are great, but its a start).

I agree with the suggestion to see if you can make it a romantic outing or two
and then see how things go from there, it does really seem to be an activity
that people either don't like or become totally obsessed with!

[Isk8NYC]

My then-boyfriend agreed to skate a bit. He reached the point where he could glide on one foot and said "That's it. I'm done." As my DH, he humors me by going skating now and then, but he has no real interest in the sport other than to watch his girls skate and help out with competitions and shows. He's still a keeper.

[Skittl1321]

My husband will go to public skates with me, and sometimes even suggests them as outings with all our friends. I think it is reasonable to expect they at least try that much. I've asked him if he was interested in lessons or what not, and he said no.

He has, however, said that he will go to anything I compete in. I pointed out that those are long and involve me skating for about 2 minutes, and he showed me his gameboy.

As long as he is supportive of me skating, I won't push him to do it, although I'd love a dance partner. Who knows what will happen down the road. He shunned Pilates when I started it, and now he goes with me, and is better than me.

I don't think it is asking to much to "force" a public skate session - afterall- you've probably had to go see movies that interested him, that you didn't care about.

[jazzpants]

I agree with Jazzpants and NickiT -- it is nice to have something that's just yours. But if you just want to get him out onto the ice to TRY skating.. tell him that's what you want for a birthday/anniversary/wedding gift.. just an hour with him on the ice. Tell him it's a gift only HE can give you and it's your idea of romantic. If he's like most guys, he won't be able to resist... and he'll know it's a relatively inexpensive gift. But you're on your own when it comes to getting him out there a 2nd time! Good luck!Nah!!! I own up to it! I'm greedy! I want my own thing!!! :twisted: Besides, my hubby reminds me that taking him to the ER for a sprain ankle (b/c of a fall he took on the stairs) wasn't exactly very romantic either... :lol:

Skate@Delaware: I wish I could push that idea to my hubby, but he's already caught on that the majority of the guys at the rink are gay... and the straight ones are old enough to be my DAD! :twisted: (Hey! This is San Francisco we're talking here!!! :P )

[garyc254]

You can hockey skate with a bunch of sweaty, smelly guys

OR

You can figure skate with a bunch of good lookin', sweet smellin' women.

8-)

I got into figure skating because I was tired of sitting in the hockey box freezing my *** off while watching my gf practice. I decided I'd just join her and maybe some day do some ice dancing. The ice dancing part hasn't happened and we seldom ever get to skate together, but I'm hooked.

It's a great exercise and at the level I'm skating (no jumps or spins) it's not rough on my poor, aching knees.

As far as the "girlie" thing: no, I don't feel that way at all. I do occasionally get a funny glance from people that don't know me, but I'm very outgoing on the ice and they know me soon enough. At the two sessions I skate each week, I know 99% of the skaters there.

`

[Mrs Redboots]

Here, as I think I've said before, some mornings the sport appears to be dominated by middle-aged men at our rink!

I was lucky - Husband preferred free skating, but his then coach left and his knee really didn't like landing the flip, so it was dance or nothing - and he discovered he loved it. Plus he likes being a better skater than me! He even competes solo dance as well as couples - but oh, the angst about his first-ever free skating programme which is happening on Friday..... I know I encouraged him to accept when he was challenged by another British skater last year, but I'm wondering if it was _really_ a good idea!

[Hannah]

Thanks folks! I guess if all fails, I could just consider it my private time. That's a lot of hours of private time, though. :)

[AndreaUK]

Hi

There are a lot of middle aged men at my rink too Ms Redboots.

Anyhow, my husband takes me skating twice a week and sits rink side freezing. I am tired of asking him to have a go on the ice so I have decided to give up. My coach has even had a go at persuading him to hire a pair of boots and give it ago without any luck. My husband says that ice skating feels un natural and too slippy so the top and bottom of it he is scared. He had a try about 14 years ago and spent all the session on his butt.

I think eventually he will have a go but Im not gonna push him into it. He will do it when he is ready. At the moment he is supporting me from rink side which is helping me with my confidence a great deal. he has his things, I have mine. It would be great if we could skate together but I dont think at the moment its meant to be.

Andrea xx

[doubletoe]

Rent him some hockey skates and let him skate on those so that he can feel manly. If he's open to going back, buy him his own hockey skates. Then, if he decides he wants to do more cool stuff (after seeing a few straight guys doing jumps--you may want to arrange for that to happen while he's there, LOL!), he can take the next step and get figure skates.

But ultimately, you might want to ask yourself why he needs to skate. It's your passion but does it have to be his? I bought my husband and stepsons some hockey skates two years ago and my husband has used them several times to skate around in circles, but he really hasn't demonstrated any interest in learning any other skating skills. Okay, no big deal. That just means he has more time to pay attention to MY skating, LOL! He comes to my competitions and stretches me out, he comes to the rink at 7:00am and videotapes my program so I can see what needs improvement, and he downloads my latest competition program video onto his Treo so that he can show it to people and brag about me when we get together with friends and family! I personally think a good "skater husband" is a better deal than a "skating husband"! :)

[doubletoe]

The only thing that worked for my husband was the green-eyed jealousy monster....when I told him I was going to pair-skate with another guy (who happened to be very handsome).....he suddenly started taking an interest in learning to be a better skater and going with me...I never told him that the guy was gay, or that we were only going to do one routine together....but it worked.
I know, I'm evil.:twisted:

ROFL!!!:bow:

[beachbabe]

lol, my bf is a hockey skater and trust me I have tried countless times to make him try figure skating. Useless...especially if his friends are around he'll act all macho and race in his stupid hockey skates to show off. Little does he know i can skate much faster in my figure skates lol, but i won't...wouldn't want to hurt that ego.


basically if he's convinced he doesn't want to, you prolly wont be able to do anything about it. And if he ends up being bad at it, do you really want to spend all your time trying to hold him up like I have to hold up my friends when they come to skate.

[garyc254]

.....and spent all the session on his butt.

One note on this account. If you do get him to go out on the ice, see if someone at the rink will put a little edge on the rental blades for him. I've seen too many people quit skating because they were trying to learn on dull rental blades and spent a lot of butt time. Most rinks don't sharpen them often enough.

`

[Joan]

This seems like an appropriate thread to introduce myself, although I may not be helping with the original question.

I've been skating since Christmas 2004 and took up skating as it was a sport
that my wife could do and that we could do together (we are slowly progressing towards dance).

We have always done some sort of sport together (we met at the University
fencing club), however when my work (and in particular the travel aspect
of it) meant that lugging a huge bag full of fencing gear around the world
every few weeks wasn't going to work I wanted something to get some
exercise (and lose some weight) that we could do together.

My wife helped me stay upright for the first few sessions and I've since
progressed to private lessons and can at least see slow progress.

As to why I enjoy it, I like the challenges that it brings up every day (I know
that no matter how long I skate I'll never run out of things to learn or
skills to improve) and now that we have got around to trying out the
first few preliminary dances together, I really enjoy those (I know, its sad,
most people can't stand the Dutch Waltz, etc, and I'm not saying that they
are great, but its a start).

I agree with the suggestion to see if you can make it a romantic outing or two
and then see how things go from there, it does really seem to be an activity
that people either don't like or become totally obsessed with!


Welcome to the forum! You are so right that you never run out of things to learn. It is great that you and your wife are ice dancing together.

[2salch0w]

My wife has no interest in skating at all, despite some attempts to get her to try it. She has skated with me about 3 times and she lasted about 15 minutes each time, and didn't enjoy herself at all. As for me doing pairs with other women, I think she'd sum it up as "better her than me". (To steal a phrase from my 1st partner's husband, i.e., "better him than me".) LOL

I agree that it is nice, in a way, to have something separate to enjoy. I have also tried to get my kids to skate but that has been like pulling teeth. So I guess it'll just be my thing.

You may want to think hard about pulling your fiance' onto the ice with you. Are you sure you don't want it to be your special alone-time sorta thing? And if you're thinking pairs/dance, that could strain the relationship. I don't know how teams that are also couples do it.

As for the whole image thing ... 1) any guy over the age of 25 should feel secure enough with himself to not care what others think; 2) most people these days are enlightened enough to realize that male skater doesn't automatically = gay; 3) and who cares if someone thinks you're gay ... I'd rather they mistake me for that then, let's say, a republican, for example; 4) figure skating is great exercise; 5) being a male figure skater gets you a lot of attention and I think most women find it appealing in a guy.

I may have been a little intimidated at the very beginning, but I got over it really quickly. (I'm also not going to stop seeing Broadway shows out of worry over my image. Geez.) My love for the sport overcame any inhibitions. And to answer what I like about it - for me, it is the athletic and technical challenge. The style stuff is a stretch for me. I don't take naturally to dance and don't really have any rhythm. Flashy outfits and overly dramatic music/choreography don't do it for me either. I'm more about the sport aspect, it just happens to be a sport I really enjoy, and I never really got the point or appeal of football or basketball, etc.

Now I look forward to telling people I'm a skater. I work in a corporate environment where most of the guys my age are golfers. I know what some of them think about figure skating, so I jump on the opportunity to point out the difference athletically in what I do and their "sport". Golf is about equal to lawn darts in terms of whether it is even a sport, IMO. And not to mention, I'm in much better shape than any of them.

Tim

[VegasGirl]

If he doesn't want to skate just leave him be... he has a right to his own likes and dislikes just as you.

[Mel On Ice]

I tried when I lived in Missouri and he had limited access to his snowmobile. He made it through 7 out of 8 of his learn to skate classes. Class 7 he fell, and class 8 he went to Canada to snowmobile for a week.

That dashed the dream of Garland and Garland competing at AN in pairs or dance.

NO amount of pleading or humoring him as enticed him to join me on the ice since. I have thus accepted his decision, as he has his winter hobbies (ice fishing, snowmobiling) and we have summer activities to share (baseball, boating and motorcycling).

[AndreaUK]

My wife has no interest in skating at all, despite some attempts to get her to try it. She has skated with me about 3 times and she lasted about 15 minutes each time, and didn't enjoy herself at all. As for me doing pairs with other women, I think she'd sum it up as "better her than me". (To steal a phrase from my 1st partner's husband, i.e., "better him than me".) LOL

I agree that it is nice, in a way, to have something separate to enjoy. I have also tried to get my kids to skate but that has been like pulling teeth. So I guess it'll just be my thing.

You may want to think hard about pulling your fiance' onto the ice with you. Are you sure you don't want it to be your special alone-time sorta thing? And if you're thinking pairs/dance, that could strain the relationship. I don't know how teams that are also couples do it.

As for the whole image thing ... 1) any guy over the age of 25 should feel secure enough with himself to not care what others think; 2) most people these days are enlightened enough to realize that male skater doesn't automatically = gay; 3) and who cares if someone thinks you're gay ... I'd rather they mistake me for that then, let's say, a republican, for example; 4) figure skating is great exercise; 5) being a male figure skater gets you a lot of attention and I think most women find it appealing in a guy.

I may have been a little intimidated at the very beginning, but I got over it really quickly. (I'm also not going to stop seeing Broadway shows out of worry over my image. Geez.) My love for the sport overcame any inhibitions. And to answer what I like about it - for me, it is the athletic and technical challenge. The style stuff is a stretch for me. I don't take naturally to dance and don't really have any rhythm. Flashy outfits and overly dramatic music/choreography don't do it for me either. I'm more about the sport aspect, it just happens to be a sport I really enjoy, and I never really got the point or appeal of football or basketball, etc.

Now I look forward to telling people I'm a skater. I work in a corporate environment where most of the guys my age are golfers. I know what some of them think about figure skating, so I jump on the opportunity to point out the difference athletically in what I do and their "sport". Golf is about equal to lawn darts in terms of whether it is even a sport, IMO. And not to mention, I'm in much better shape than any of them.

Tim

This is a really inspiring and interesting post and its really made me think about my situation a little more, If you dont mind Tim I would like to copy and paste your reply into a word doccument and print it off for my husband to read. I think it will make a lot of sense to him and may be that little push he needs to come onto the ice. He did say to myself and my coach a few weeks ago that he may have a go and I think if he read this, being from a male skater it may inspire him a little.

Also the other post further up mentioning asking the rink to put a bit of an edge on the hire skates so that he perhaps doesnt spend so much time on his butt, is a good idea.

This board is ace, very helpful..thanks guys

Andrea xxx

[Casey]

You know you could avoid all this hassle by just finding yourself a nice single male figure skater instead... ;)

As for the prissy thing, I actually get a lot of compliments from men who are new to skating, simply because they're grateful to see another guy skating who's actually somewhat decent on the ice. I may not be a phenomenal skater by any means, but it's nice to know my presence is appreciated sometimes.

So if you can drag him to the rink, maybe try to do it when you know there'll be some other male figure skaters there...

[lovepairs]

As for the whole image thing ... 1) any guy over the age of 25 should feel secure enough with himself to not care what others think; 2) most people these days are enlightened enough to realize that male skater doesn't automatically = gay; 3) and who cares if someone thinks you're gay ... I'd rather they mistake me for that then, let's say, a republican, for example; 4) figure skating is great exercise; 5) being a male figure skater gets you a lot of attention and I think most women find it appealing in a guy.

First of all, Sal, you are in mouth-watering shape!!! ;) Next, thank god you're not a "R!" I always thought you were for some reason, so I never talked politics around you. WOW, do you watch the Colbert Repoir? Pairsman2 is on the other side, but I put up with it. I'm trying to bring him over...he's not too far away. What do you think I can do to get him to cross over? :frus: :twisted: :halo: :roll:

To the original poster who wants her man to skate with her, here's what you do: pull out the tapes with Artur, Maxim, Anton, John Z and John B, and Zhang...as your husband is watching these men pressing their woman into the air, just say to him "honey, I don't think you could ever do that." You know, just say it casually...watch his face turn red as his testosterone begins to flow and before you know it, he'll be on the ice! It's as simple as that!!! 8-)

[AndreaUK]

Well I backed right off and stopped asking my husband to have a try. If anyone mentioned it I would just say, no its not his thing he says he is useless. Heypresto, it worked. Today my fella rented a pair of skates and allthough couldnt move away from the barrier, attempted to skate around the rink. The coaches who were in the arena who have gotten to know him gave him lots of encouragement and it seems he will try again next week.

Andrea xx

[doubletoe]

To the original poster who wants her man to skate with her, here's what you do: pull out the tapes with Artur, Maxim, Anton, John Z and John B, and Zhang...as your husband is watching these men pressing their woman into the air, just say to him "honey, I don't think you could ever do that." You know, just say it casually...watch his face turn red as his testosterone begins to flow and before you know it, he'll be on the ice! It's as simple as that!!! 8-)

Then again, what man wants to be given a challenge like that when he knows he would just prove you right and fail if he got out on the ice and tried? But maybe you could give him an enticement like, "Honey, if I lost 5 pounds, would you lift me like that? I find that so sexy. . ." (and drooling over a hot, straight male pairs skater in front of him would definitely challenge his perception of figure skating as a "gay" sport, LOL!)

[dbny]

Well I backed right off and stopped asking my husband to have a try. If anyone mentioned it I would just say, no its not his thing he says he is useless. Heypresto, it worked. Today my fella rented a pair of skates and allthough couldnt move away from the barrier, attempted to skate around the rink. The coaches who were in the arena who have gotten to know him gave him lots of encouragement and it seems he will try again next week.

Andrea xx

That's great news! Buy him a private lesson, if only for 15 minutes. It can make the difference between his becoming discouraged and his wanting to learn more. I've never taught anyone that I couldn't get off the wall in the first 15 minutes, if only for 5 of them.

[lovepairs]

Then again, what man wants to be given a challenge like that when he knows he would just prove you right and fail if he got out on the ice and tried? But maybe you could give him an enticement like, "Honey, if I lost 5 pounds, would you lift me like that? I find that so sexy. . ." (and drooling over a hot, straight male pairs skater in front of him would definitely challenge his perception of figure skating as a "gay" sport, LOL!)
Reply With Quote

Doubletoe,

Before suggesting that UK loose 5 lbs. to entice her husband onto the ice, read the last page of the "Weightloose, any suggestions" thread. Some people would be throwing tomatoes at your screen right about now! LOL :giveup: But, yes, there is nothing hotter and sexier then getting in shape--the right way! :P

Most men, given the choice and challenge, won't even think about not being able to lift their woman...the testosterone hormone blocks the "fear-o-failure." Believe me, I know...they are like caged animals if you tell them that they can't do something that challenges their strength. Gay, or straight, their strength is linked up to their manhood, which is directly tied into their testosteron. It's all very sexual for them...you know on a very primitive instinctual basis. Other than that...if UK's guy doesn't at least try then he will never know if he will succeed, or fail.

[Skate@Delaware]

What helped was me telling my husband that i was going to skate with another man at the rink....what I think actually sent him over the edge was watching a skating exhibition on tv one day and the skating was really more "R" rated than any I've ever seen 8O he asked if we could do that some day and I said "yes"....a skater was born!

[doubletoe]

Doubletoe,

Before suggesting that UK loose 5 lbs. to entice her husband onto the ice, read the last page of the "Weightloose, any suggestions" thread. Some people would be throwing tomatoes at your screen right about now! LOL :giveup: But, yes, there is nothing hotter and sexier then getting in shape--the right way! :P

Most men, given the choice and challenge, won't even think about not being able to lift their woman...the testosterone hormone blocks the "fear-o-failure." Believe me, I know...they are like caged animals if you tell them that they can't do something that challenges their strength. Gay, or straight, their strength is linked up to their manhood, which is directly tied into their testosteron. It's all very sexual for them...you know on a very primitive instinctual basis. Other than that...if UK's guy doesn't at least try then he will never know if he will succeed, or fail.


That's true. I just threw that in for the "I'll meet you halfway" effect. For all I know, the last thing she needs is to lose 5 pounds, LOL! Thanks for bringing that up. :)

[2salch0w]

Hey lovepairs - sorry for the late reply. Just finished the move and finally got back online yesterday.

Thanks for the props. ;-)

As for the politics, I don't know if I can recover from you even thinking for a moment that I could be *that*. Ugh. I just shivered. And I've always been sure about you. And I know that deep down, Lee can't really be.

Tim

PS Go Hillary.

[lovepairs]

No, I really thought you were "that," but, I'm so glad to hear that you're not "that!" Pairsman2 is deffinitely "that!" In fact, he's "ALL THAT!" I'm hoping he won't be "that" forever, and I am trying to convert him as one would make the conversion on an axel. So, maybe if I keep working on him, he won't be "that" too much longer. I really thought you were "that?"#_)(#$%^&$%^&**()$%&^&(*

Glad to hear the move went well, but sad to hear that you won't be up in Lake Placid this August. Thought you might be talking the family up there, again, this summer--I'll miss you :cry:

[Casey]

And I know that deep down, Lee can't really be.
I suspect he's just misguided...I think he'll get better with time. The doctor prescribes - MORE SKATING!!!