what can I do?

[oz01]

There was an accident at the skating rink yesterday morning. My daughter landed on another skater: my daughter's skate cut through her arm and the girl had to go emergency room and get 15 stiches! Doctor also ordered her not to skate for two weeks. I felt very sorry for the girl. I know accident happens and my daughter didn't do it on purpose, but I feel extremely guilty . What can I do to make the girl and her family feel better?
I should have gone to the emergency room but I didn't:( Please help me!
Thank you in advance!

[Perry]

It's more common than it sounds, so don't feel too bad. A few years ago (I was 12, the other girl was 14-15), I was coming out of a double sal (and I was warming up for triples, so I was doing a lot of them, and they were fairly big) and another girl wasn't really paying attention and skated right into my path. I was in the middle of the air when it happened, so obviously I didn't see her, and she didn't see me or she wouldn't have skated where she did. I sliced her leg on the landing, and she ended up having to get a few stitches. I wasn't really anyone's fault -- it's just one of those things that happens when you're on a session with 20 other girls.

I felt awful, even though it wasn't my fault and I knew that. The girl and I didn't really get along with to begin with, so she blamed me (and got a 30 minute lecture from our coach about how I was in the middle of a jump and couldn't have stopped). I apologized profusely, said I was really sorry that an accident like that happened. Had we not been on bad terms before it happened, I'm sure everything would have been fine. The best you can do is make sure your daughter apologizes, send the family a card (even if it wasn't your daughter involved, it's a nice thing to do, since I know it really helped when I was injured), and stop feeling guilty. These things happen in sport like skating, and if your daughter didn't do it on purpose, it's not her fault!

[Isk8NYC]

Hopefully, they called the hospital beforehand for precert, so their health insurance will cover all/most of the bill.

In organized sports, there are several levels of insurance:

1st: Skater's own health insurance (usually through the parents.) **PRIMARY**
2nd: Skater's insurance with sports organization. (The ISI and USFSA memberships include a small accident insurance policy.)
3rd: The Club or Rink accident/liability insurance.
4th: The Instructor/Coach liability insurance.

So, don't worry about the money. It'll work out in the end.

Don't feel guilty about not going to the emergency room. You weren't needed, given you could not have authorized care or provided insurance information. You couldn't have done anything except pace in the waiting room, which would have probably annoyed the parents. Plus, the parents were probably upset, which always leads to blowups. The ER staff would thank you for not coming and giving the parents someone to rant at in person.

You could ask the girl's instructor for some advice since s/he might have a better feel for the family's frame of mind and temperment. As for what to do, as in apologies or get-well cards, I'm at a loss. There are some schools of thought that consider that to be a bad legal move since it indicates an admission of guilt.

I had an accident when I was a competitive skater. I was practicing my program, with the music on, and went into a back spiral. A woman opened a barrier door and got on the ice, skating backwards looking (for a friend) in the other direction. I saw her at the very last minute and lowered my leg, but I still sliced her leg open right at the boot line. She never even saw me coming. I was able to fall down and hold her up (she was in her late 50's - I was thinking "broken hip.") but the bleeding started right away. Fortunately, the NJ Devils hockey team was in the next rink and their trainer administered first aid. She needed a number of stitches and was off the ice for some time. I sent her flowers and an apology note. She thanked me and told me that it was a nice gesture, but (as she put it) it reminded her of her own stupidity in "sneaking onto the ice without looking." She told me that the Freestyle rules are there for a reason and she was wrong.

She was so kind to me that I remember her vividly to this day, and I try to teach that kindness to my students.
"Just say sorry when you have a near miss or collision.
It doesn't matter who was wrong - just say the words and keep the situation friendly."

[oz01]

Thank you so much! Perry and Isk8NYC:
The girl has the same coach as my daughter. We don't know her very well. I talked to the coach today and she said I don't have to worry about it too much. But I like to get some flowers and my daughter will make a card for her.
Thanks again!

[beachbabe]

seriously..forget about it.

It wasn't your fault. When you don't pay attention to the rules and watch where you are going things like this happen. You wouldn't apologize to someone for all the money they have to pay after they ran in to your car b/c they were speeding. If someoneone is injured and its not your fault the most you can do is help them up, make sure they are ok and say you're sorry. The last person parents want to see is the one that made their poor baby get stitches- you'll always be guilty in their eyes. Be nice, but hold your ground because that gilr could easily have cost you an injury also.

It happens all the time so don't feel bad...especially if it wasn't your fault.

[Chico]

Accidents happen, in fact it's amazing that they don't happen more often. I don't know anybody who runs into someone else on purpose! Make sure your child understands this. If she wants she can present the child with a teddy or other small item as a token of sadness that the event happened. Leave it after this.

Chico

[dbny]

The last person parents want to see is the one that made their poor baby get stitches- you'll always be guilty in their eyes.

I do not think you can speak for all parents. My girls have been hurt at the rink, and when it was really an accident, I quickly forgot about it.

[Isk8NYC]

We don't know her very well. I talked to the coach today and she said I don't have to worry about it too much. But I like to get some flowers and my daughter will make a card for her.

Is she about your daughter's age? (If your daughter doesn't care for her, ignore this suggestion.) Maybe you could set up a trip to the movies or have her over to watch skating, to help her pass the time until she can get back on the ice.

If the girl will be in a show or competition soon, it would nice to give her flowers then as a "congrats - glad you're back" gift. I'm sure the family would be surprised and you wouldn't come off as guilty.

[oz01]

Is she about your daughter's age?
No she is much older than my daughter.
But thank you for the suggestion. I think movie tickets may be a good idea.