Why are some skating people just so nasty??

[AW1]

I know everyone has bad days but honestly I wonder why I bother sometimes.

I frequent SynchroBoards - since I've joined synchro recently and have been a watcher there for ages. I just signed up the other day, and replied in a thread, which is specifically for the Club which I have joined.

I replied to a thread where a skater in Canada had said "I heard about the cyclone down there... is everyone alright?" Since we are a fair way from where the cyclone hit, I replied with "I think you will find that everyone is fine since where the cyclone hit was in the far north of our state - about 10 hours drive away!"

Does that sound rude? I just thought it was addressing the question. Well obviously in Canada that is considered rude because I got a "who are you anyways" ...... now that just totally made my blood boil !!

Why can't people be nice. It wasn't a great experience given I've already joined the CLUB that this was pertaining to.. I tell you if I had got this reply whilst still looking I wouldn't have joined that club I can tell you!

Anyway, why do some people just constantly have a chip on their shoulder and WHY oh WHY do they always seem to be associated with skating!?

[Thin-Ice]

I know everyone has bad days but honestly I wonder why I bother sometimes.

I frequent SynchroBoards - since I've joined synchro recently and have been a watcher there for ages. I just signed up the other day, and replied in a thread, which is specifically for the Club which I have joined.

I replied to a thread where a skater in Canada had said "I heard about the cyclone down there... is everyone alright?" Since we are a fair way from where the cyclone hit, I replied with "I think you will find that everyone is fine since where the cyclone hit was in the far north of our state - about 10 hours drive away!"

Does that sound rude? I just thought it was addressing the question. Well obviously in Canada that is considered rude because I got a "who are you anyways" ...... now that just totally made my blood boil !!

Why can't people be nice. It wasn't a great experience given I've already joined the CLUB that this was pertaining to.. I tell you if I had got this reply whilst still looking I wouldn't have joined that club I can tell you!

Anyway, why do some people just constantly have a chip on their shoulder and WHY oh WHY do they always seem to be associated with skating!?

The poster who you thought was rude was probably just trying to be friendly, showing a bit of concern and wasn't that good at Australian geography. Then the poster may have felt you snapped at her/him.. due to that lack of knowledge... when all s/he was trying to do was be nice.

I've found most skaters are actually very nice people.:)

[AW1]

The poster who you thought was rude was probably just trying to be friendly, showing a bit of concern and wasn't that good at Australian geography. Then the poster may have felt you snapped at her/him.. due to that lack of knowledge... when all s/he was trying to do was be nice.

I've found most skaters are actually very nice people.:)

Thin-Ice, I agree that most skaters are actually very nice people :) With the exception of a few at the rink, I think most are really nice lovely people.

Nah, your explanation doesn't really fit - I'll put a transcript of it here so you can see.

Them
I know where the cyclone hit but some of the girls have family up north... thank you very much.... and I was concerned for everyone and their families.... who are you anyways?


Me
Sheesh no need to get your hackles up I was just trying to help. I didn't know you had exclusive rights to this board

As for who I am, I've introduced myself in the Adult section of the SB, but you probably don't care anyway. I will crawl back into my little hole and forget I ever ventured in here! Makes me believe the stuff I read now about Synchro skating being full of cliques, even here in little 'ol Brisbane........


Them
Actually, I'm from Canada and skated with these beautiful Aussies. You saying comments like " I didn't know you had exclusive rights to this board" makes YOU sound harsh. I was simply asking the XXXXXXans, my friends, if everyone was alright.... but thanks!


Me
Whatever. I won't intrude on your little thread again don't worry. As for me sounding harsh, generally I find asking "who are you anyways" goes down better if you ask politely instead of taking a higher-than-thou attitude towards it. Surely "I haven't heard of you before are you new" wouldn't have been much harder to type I'm not being harsh, I simply responded to a question you asked.

Anyway Cest La Vie! Enjoy and don't let me keep you from having your conversations with your friends.

Have a nice day!

[blisspix]

eh, there's rude people everywhere in skating. I find it takes so so long to get to know people here too. I went to one session in Chicago and everyone spoke to me, in oz apart from a couple of people I know here, I may as well be an alien blob. It's just as well I no longer use skating as my social hour ;) which it was when I was skating in Perth.

I posted to SynchroBoards once about general stuff and didn't get a reply :/ Glad I found people here.

[VegasGirl]

I think what came across as a bit stand-offish in your answer was the exclamation point at the end... that did make it sound a bit patronizing.

The problems with forums is that in written form conversations just don't come over as well as in direct spoken form since they lack the emphasis, variation in tone and body language... and that leads to a lot of misunderstanding that wouldn't exist if we were face to face.

[Rusty Blades]

On behalf of all Canadians, I appologize for any slight. Most of us are really friendly people. Of course everybody has an "off day".

[Skate@Delaware]

I do realize that I can seem a bit nasty....sometimes I do mean to be mean :twisted: . I have been trying to tone it down a bit (really!):halo:

but, sometimes people do come across as sounding mean when they write stuff, it's just the way it's written; not really the way it is meant. Sometimes it just better to not let it bother you and move on unless it is an outright dig at you-then just ask for clarification before you attack them. The person writing it might not have meant it as it was written.

Sometimes I write stuff that sounds good at first then realize the next day that it's stupid or sounds weird (especially when I write when I am tired, hungry, etc.).....:frus:

[Isk8NYC]

Why are some skating people just so nasty??

Yeah, were they born that way or do they just practice a lot? *cackles*

There are nasty people in all walks of life, not just skating. It's just part of the diversity of our world.

If you had started your reply with a "Thanks for asking, but we're okay..." and then given the geography lesson, it would have been better-received.

If you like the board, you have to ignore the unfriendly remarks.
If you don't like the board, don't post or even lurk! Give it up.

[mintypoppet]

I replied to a thread where a skater in Canada had said "I heard about the cyclone down there... is everyone alright?" Since we are a fair way from where the cyclone hit, I replied with "I think you will find that everyone is fine since where the cyclone hit was in the far north of our state - about 10 hours drive away!"

Does that sound rude? I just thought it was addressing the question. Well obviously in Canada that is considered rude because I got a "who are you anyways" ...... now that just totally made my blood boil !!


I think this might be a case of English from different countries meaning different things. Personally, I'd have taken the "who are you anyways" at face value - to mean that someone was asking whether I was connected to the team, perhaps. However, I'd have felt a little patronised by your comment, because you prefaced it with "I think you will find" and ended it with an exclamation mark. I'm sure that isn't how you intended it, but it's amazing what can get lost in translation, even in English :)

Just adding my 2p - I work as a proofreader in written English from many different countries and have a bit of a fascination with this sort of thing.

[luna_skater]

From the transcript you posted, my impression is that you over-reacted to the phrase "who are you anyways?" I don't see the other poster as trying to start anything by it. :?: But, misunderstandings happen on message forums all the time, because sometimes the tone of the post is misinterpreted.

[Kristin]

I know everyone has bad days but honestly I wonder why I bother sometimes.

I frequent SynchroBoards - since I've joined synchro recently and have been a watcher there for ages. I just signed up the other day, and replied in a thread, which is specifically for the Club which I have joined.

I replied to a thread where a skater in Canada had said "I heard about the cyclone down there... is everyone alright?" Since we are a fair way from where the cyclone hit, I replied with "I think you will find that everyone is fine since where the cyclone hit was in the far north of our state - about 10 hours drive away!"

Does that sound rude? I just thought it was addressing the question. Well obviously in Canada that is considered rude because I got a "who are you anyways" ...... now that just totally made my blood boil !!

Why can't people be nice. It wasn't a great experience given I've already joined the CLUB that this was pertaining to.. I tell you if I had got this reply whilst still looking I wouldn't have joined that club I can tell you!

Anyway, why do some people just constantly have a chip on their shoulder and WHY oh WHY do they always seem to be associated with skating!?

Don't spend too much time thinking about synchroboards.....there are a lot of people on there who are nasty & spiteful since they aren't talking to your face when they type the posts. It's not just skaters in general, it is something about that board that makes people act like little kids (my team is better than YOUR team....blah blah blah)......whatever, don't let it bother you; I still read on there sometimes but take most of it with a grain of salt.

Kristin

[sk8er1964]

Don't spend too much time thinking about synchroboards.....there are a lot of people on there who are nasty & spiteful since they aren't talking to your face when they type the posts. It's not just skaters in general, it is something about that board that makes people act like little kids (my team is better than YOUR team....blah blah blah)......whatever, don't let it bother you; I still read on there sometimes but take most of it with a grain of salt.

Kristin

Each board will have a different atmosphere from others -- but I wonder if the "team" aspect of synchro makes the parents act crazier on line than the parent of a singles skater. In our local hockey area, this site http://www.mlive.com/forums/youthhockey/ takes the cake. It's calm right now because everyone's in try-outs, but through the season it can get very very nasty. I rarely post anything there, but I do visit for the occasional bits of information and the entertainment value of watching supposedly mature adults make idiots of themselves! ;)

[luna_skater]

IMO, SynchroBoards has a different atmosphere than other boards, and often gets more heated, because 95% of the posters are skaters/competitors, as opposed to most skating boards that are made up of fans. And it does have a younger demographic for that reason as well. However, I will defend SynchroBoards to the death, b/c it has been an amazing tool for information sharing and bringing skaters from around the world together. Figure skating deals with some detractors from other sports, but synchro is the only branch of skating that actually has to fight the other skating disciplines for respect. Despite some of the snarkiness that occurs there (and it would be much, MUCH more if we didn't moderate it, as is evidenced by the number of synchro forums that have closed over the years), that uphill battle creates a common bond amongst the skaters.

[TaBalie]

From what you have described AW1, you were the "nasty" [your own words] one, not the other posters LOL.

But to answer the question in general, there are cranky people in walks life of life, certainly not just ice skating. In fact, in skating (and I skated competitively as a child until age 14 *and* now as an adult), I find them a nice bunch.

But, IMO, AW1 *your* reponses were rude.

[TashaKat]

The way I read it both of you got hold of the wrong end of the stick at various parts in the conversation and it escalated more than it ever should have. That's the trouble with not looking at someone when you're 'talking'. Also part of the reason that I use far too many smilies ....

I'll admit that I've taken offence at some things that have been said in complete innocence, I have also said things that in retrospect sounded rather harsh but weren't meant to be.

On the opposite side of the coin there's a guy that I know (and detest) in 'real life' who posts on the same horsey board as me. He makes it his life's work to follow me around and contradict me. He always adds a :D at the end so that he doesn't appear mean. To the outside world it doesn't seem like anything unless you know him and you know his intentions. I usually sit on my hands and ignore him but I lost it the other day and bit. I regretted it at first but now think 'sod it', at least he knows I'm onto him now!

Anyway ... less of me, me, me ;) If you want to stay on the board and feel in retrospect that it was a complete misunderstanding then I would apologise to the other poster and start again.

[dbny]

The way I read it both of you got hold of the wrong end of the stick at various parts in the conversation and it escalated more than it ever should have. That's the trouble with not looking at someone when you're 'talking'. Also part of the reason that I use far too many smilies ....


ITA, except for the part about TK using too many smilies :lol:

It's easy to misconstrue the written word, since there are no visual or auditory cues to help. I try to be cautious in my responses to a poster that I'm not already familiar with, and always try to assume the best possible interpretation rather than the worst. Let the other poster take the low road, if that is what they want.

[fmh]

"I know where the cyclone hit but some of the girls have family up north... thank you very much.... and I was concerned for everyone and their families.... who are you anyways? "

I'm sorry to tell you, but I don't find that rude...it could have been maybe but a bit nicer, but I don't find anything wrong with that. I don't want to be rude (especailly since you've got such a thin skin), But I found what you said much more nasty than what the other person said.

"Does that sound rude? I just thought it was addressing the question. Well obviously in Canada that is considered rude because I got a "who are you anyways" ...... now that just totally made my blood boil !!"

the "who are you anyways?" was probably just meant to ask who you are, not an insult :!: What is considered rude in Canada is considered rude everywhere else too. I don't think you are being reasonable! I'm sure when you replied back with a saucy reply, it made her blood boil too.

I'm sorry if you find this rude, but i just wanted to point this out...nothing really against you

[stardust skies]

It's a message board though. People use it to vent. It's different when you have a person face to face. I'm kind of rude on these boards sometimes and I don't mean to be, and in person I'm actually really shy and don't like to pick arguments. GO FIGURE! 8O

I don't think you should take what people on a message board say to heart, unless it's nice and you want to take it to heart. It's a screen, and to me although I like everybody here, they're still strangers and I don't treat them in the same way I treat people I skate with everyday.

People in skating are nice, they're just weary, because it's easy to get screwed over in a sport that relies mainly on appearances. Take message boards for what they are, I'd say. A nice place to exchange thoughts. That doesn't mean they're always pleasant thoughts.

[AW1]

Thanks everyone for putting in their perspective. In fact, I think that it may well be a case of 'lost in translation' as someone has already said. Amazing what can happen, even when we're supposed to be speaking the same language 8O

Maybe in Canada it isn't rude to ask 'who are you anyways' but in downtown, sunny Brisbane Australia, it certainly isn't a polite way to ask, and most people that I know would find it rude.

mintypoppet, I find this interesting too. I'm a person who gets highly irritated by people NOT punctuating. I see it every day, and it makes me so angry that often I don't bother reading it, because it doesn't flow properly IYKWIM? I myself, have always been big on punctuation and I don't see that as a bad thing.

Interestingly fmh & vegasgirl, it took me a while to even work out what exclamation mark you were talking about in my reply.

I would consider a 10 hour drive as worthy of an exclamation mark (especially after having driven it!) wouldn't you?

[TashaKat]

I'm kind of rude on these boards sometimes and I don't mean to be, and in person I'm actually really shy and don't like to pick arguments. GO FIGURE! 8O

The demon message boards :D


Maybe in Canada it isn't rude to ask 'who are you anyways' but in downtown, sunny Brisbane Australia, it certainly isn't a polite way to ask, and most people that I know would find it rude.


It isn't the politest of ways to ask who you are I'll admit but a lot depends on the intonation. If it were 'said' rather than written it would have been a lot easier to interpret. Don't forget that a heck of a lot of people also use text speak or pseudo text speak on the boards which can come across as abrupt or even dumb.

I'm with you on grammar and punctuation though. I hate it when you see a whole post in one paragraph and when there are no full stops, no commas, no capital letters .... AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! I'm not uptight about typos and grammar 'slips' (we're all offenders at some point :) ) but will generally not read something that is difficult to read.