how stooopid am I....need some creative input / info--LONG

[phoenix]

Okay, a few of you know me in person, most don't....but I'm going into a dilemma & could use some input.

In my "real life" I'm a freelance graphic artist/illustrator. I've been mainly self employed for a little over 8 years (w/ a few part time jobs along the way). I LOVE LOVE LOVE the freedom & flexibility that gives me.

I also skate, as you all know. It is the thing in my life that I am the most passionate about--more than my job, more than other activities. I've been doing well, and am into my pre-gold dances. I test standard track, & while I'm an adult skater I have every intention of finishing my golds, my free dances, and doing some internationals. I do a little coaching and want to do more, so my training is also about becoming more & more qualified to coach. 2 years ago I started working with a new coach who has been fantastic, I've made huge progress, and even more than that, he understands my tempermental self & works with me extremely well. He was at the upper ends of elite when he was competing (world medalist), so having been trained by him will also be a good point on my coaching resume, especially since I won't have much of a competitive history. I also FINALLY got a partner this year, which I consider a once in a lifetime opportunity not only to learn all about the partnering, but also choreography for a team, how to work with a team as a coach, etc.

I am not crazy about the town where I live, or the neighborhood, and have pretty much planned to move in a few years when I'm finished with my training, probably to a different state/area of the country. I planned to take my time, do my research, travel to different towns, and find someplace I really loved & wanted to be. Someplace with a rink where I could teach, and still work as a freelancer doing what I do now. While I love what I do, I don't make a ton of money now, in fact some years, including last year, have been very lean indeed. Money is always a worry factor for me, I have virtually no savings, very little retirement, and some debt. (I'm 38 btw). But I've never been an "about the money" type of person & have placed more value in living my life on my terms and being happy than in being rich--to the point of being very stubborn about giving up the freelancing & getting a regular job even when things were really bad financially.

SO--I have been doing some freelance work for a company for about the past 9 months. They are in Anacortes, Washington, which according to Mapquest is 1 1/2 hours north of Seattle. Yesterday the owner of the company called me & offered me a job. A good, big, job. Of course, I would have to relocate there. I'm currently in Wisconsin & train in Chicago.

So if I take the job, I'd have the financial security that has been lacking, and it looks like it would be an interesting enough job to hold my attention. ;) I have heard that the Pacific Northwest is absolutely beautiful & a great place to live. And the job would be a good career move, I'd be managing people, etc.

She hasn't talked salary yet, so I really can't make any sort of decisions. I'm going out there to visit & see everything in a couple of weeks, at which time we'll go over all the details. I think there's no point in saying "no" until I know what it is I'm saying "no" to...... So if I go out there & like the area, like the company, and the salary is where I'd want it to be......there remains the issue of the skating.

I haven't been able to find much info on skating in that area. There's one dance coach listed in Seattle, who is a high level coach. Of course there may be more. I can't find much info on rinks in the area. I have no interest in a huge commute to get to work, and if I'm working full time I won't have much chance to get to a rink that isn't reasonably close. I'm pretty sure there's not a rink *real* close.

SO--how dumb am I to think I don't want to move there because I'd have to give up skating on a serious level? I'm on the ice 5-6 days a week now, & I think that's necessary to accomplish my goals. I'm obviously not a competitive skater, but I (and my coach) think I could be very good, and I think I'll be a very good coach. But I never intended to coach full time......and with a full time job, I probably wouldn't be coaching at all anyway. Like I said, I don't want to say no until I have all the details, but seriously--am I being a really irresponsible stubborn, childish person to refuse a good job, good career move, to stay where I don't make much money just so I can stay with my coach and skate as often as I want to?

Please feel free to offer all sides of the arguement (but please be kind), and if you have any info on what the area has to offer, please pass that along too!! I've even thought about if it'd be possible to skate largely on my own, and send videos back & forth to my Chicago coach & occassionally travel back to work with him/test with him.....crazy? With the help of video, I can monitor/correct myself to some degree..... I don't know what to do!! If this offer had come a few years from now, I'd probably feel quite differently--it just seems the timing is really unfortunate.

ETA--my age plays a factor here, kind of on both sides......I've felt I need to do the training now, while my body is still strong & young enough to take the hard work............and also there's the issue of building a retirement savings/getting out of debt, etc. Obviously I've been putting the skating above the other.....I've always considered my training expenses/time an investment in the future, for what I will get back out of it later on....

[Skate@Delaware]

Wow, you really are in a bit of a quandry!

I wouldn't make a decision without seeing the place, like you are doing. I'd be afraid that if you gave up skating because it's not convenient, long, long drive, etc. that you would end up resenting your new job.

You may find a rink that's a bit hidden but not too far away from you. Maybe someone will post some info for you.

The area is really beautiful, and you need to be near a bigger city to make some $$$ to live on.

Make a list of the pros and cons and when you come back from your visit, add/subtract to it and see what you come up with.

Luck!!!

[Isk8NYC]

You have to go see the area and keep an open mind. When you get there, check out the yellow pages and/or ask the concierge where the nearest rink is to that area. It does look pretty isolated on the map.

Here's the ArenaMaps city-order list for Washington State:

http://www.arenamaps.com/search.php?position=0&state=WA&arena_name=&city=&sort_field2=arena_name&sort_field=city_sorter

[Rusty Blades]

Wow Phoenix, that's TOUGH!

I am 56. I was seriously into skating in my teens, not competitions nor coaching but doing 20 or more hours per week on the ice until an injury took me out in 1968. Marriage, moving away, and career took me away from skating for a LONG time and I have just recently returned to the ice to find I am starting all over again (almost, though things are starting to come back).

I hate to sound like my mother but the most important thing in life (next to happiness) is having the means to look after yourself, now and into the future. The love of money may be "the root of all evil" but money is what it takes to do all the other things we need to do and want to do. It sounds like you have most of what you want and need in your present situation but money is tight. If there is little chance to improve your financial situation where you are, then you need to look elsewere and asses the "resources" at the other location. If there is a population base, there is likely to be ice activity and you may be able to increase that activity with your own passion for skating.

At age 38, you need to asses your own goals in skating and your expectations. As we get older, time seems to speed up and a year goes by so fast you hardly notice so one needs to do some planning and set out a course of action to avoid becoming a 65 year old figure skater with no retirement plan.

My own choice was "career" which has served me well but I let the skating completely slip away. At the very least, I should have skated a few times a year, even if I wasn't learning anything new - just put in the time to maintain where I was. On the positive side, my retirement is looked after - when I pull the plug in a couple of years, I will have the time and money to skate as much as I want. I always skated for the love of skating but now I am returning with a goal - to work my way up through the ranks and see if I can hit gold before I am 65 8O - LOL!!!!

Dianne

[TashaKat]

It's a difficult one. I actually sort of agree, sort of disagree with Rusty Blades in that I have ended up in what was SUPPOSED to be a secure profession and in doing so have forsaken my dreams (dancing). I completely regret not carry on with my dancing and looking at it logically I could have got income teaching anyway! I know that my dance, skating and riding teachers earn one hell of a lot more than I do.

Yes, you have to think of your future and boring stuff like that but you have one crack at this life and wasting it in a job that you're not really interested in if you can get by another way is, well, a waste. I know, I'm still in the job that I don't particularly enjoy, I've not got security because times have changed and they want cheap button pushers rather than experienced and qualified people. I spend most of my time and income when I'm not at work on dancing and riding (and hopefully one day skating again).

Check out the job and see how you feel. It may sound irresponsible but I would say to follow your instincts. Things usually work out in the end and I still believe, despite my traumas, that things do happen for a reason.

Good luck.

[Joan]

Whatever you decide, I believe you must not shortchange your skating or you will be unhappy. If you can find good coaching and a skating community amenable to your training, and if the job offer is attractive, then you may want to take the job. Otherwise, another opportunity will present itself in the future. The long-term financial security, saving for retirement, etc. is also really important and even if you stay freelance, you should try really hard to put aside some money every year into a retirement fund (maybe you already are doing this). I'm also wondering what you do about health insurance - as injury from skating must be a constant possibility. Hopefully you have already found an affordable policy in your current locale! Good luck!

[techskater]

The Seattle Skating Club is in the north suburbs of Seattle and is a very delightful rink. They have a high level dance team (Novice? Junior?) that work there, so there must be a high level coach around.

You have to weigh all your options. Keep an open mind about the area when you go visit for the interview. Maybe they won't like you as a fit in the position, maybe it's not what your career goals are, in the end it's your decision and you must live with it...

[Skate@Delaware]

This is in Bremerton, according to Mapquest is only 45 minutes or so away.
http://www.sportsplex.com/

That leaves some in Seattle, about 1.5-2 hours (depending on which end of Seattle).

Some of us have to drive a way in order to skate, some are lucky and live really close by (nice to take that for granted!)

Also, once you are there, maybe something else will pop up in Seattle. You never know!

[nerd_on_ice]

I agree with those who have said that checking out the area before you make a decision is a must. For example, most would assume that my area (Dallas, TX) would be totally lacking in rinks and quality coaching, but there's quite a bit of ice here, accomplished coaches, and high-level skaters. So you never know.

Another thought: even if you decide against this particular job, the idea of looking for a permanent position has been planted in your mind. It sounds to me like you have the freedom to be choosy and shop around for a job in a city where you can "have it all," if you decide that's what you want.

[phoenix]

I wouldn't live in Seattle--it'd make for way too long a commute. I'd live up in / around Anacortes. I've found out about the Seattle skating club & talked w/ Sharon Jones, who is one of the only high dance coaches in the area. She told me about the rink in Bellingham, but said there's not really any dance up there. Looking at their schedule, I could probably get to skate twice a week, plus maybe one trip into Seattle for a lesson each week......

[lskater]

Phoenix,

Your best bet would be to live between Everett and Anacortes allowing you to skate at the rink in Everett (or come down to Mountlake Terrace which would be an extra 20 or so minutes to Olympic View Arena where Sharon teaches) and also allowing you to get to work. The traffic both ways wouldn't be terrible, but you would be doing some driving. The Mount Vernon area is beautiful (complete with some great Outlet Malls). Sharon would be worth it and by the way the nationals team that trained with Sharon were the Youngs and they are no longer skating together. Ekaika (sp?) is skating with someone else and I'm not sure if Sharon is working with them or not. I take lessons with Sharon's husband and will be working with Sharon soon on my moves.

If you do make it up here, let me know so I can introduce you to people!

You really need to decide what's best for you...follow your heart.

Lisa

[icedancer2]

Sharon would be worth it and by the way the nationals team that trained with Sharon were the Youngs and they are no longer skating together. Ekaika (sp?) is skating with someone else and I'm not sure if Sharon is working with them or not.

I think Ikaika is teaching also -- and working with a new partner (Emma?) -- he is young but fun to skate with!!

You have a difficult decision. I think you should go for the skating, the job will follow eventually. At 38 you are about where I was at that age -- I have also thought it was more important to do what made you happy, what gave you freedom, etc. -- the money will follow.

And so far, for me, it has... -- but skating is also very important. And you are right, at your age, you don't want to wait too long, because believe me, it does get a lot more difficult as you get older (don't let anyone tell you it doesn't -- I wouldn't have believed it, but at 51 I am really starting to lose a LOT of skills and everything is much more difficult than it used to be).

Good luck with your decision. Have a good visit, see how things feel and then decide.

[twokidsskatemom]

Glenn Patterson is from the Tacoma area, he was bronze nationals three times with his partner and Oly alternate.My kids take from him and he is as at home witha 5 year old as a 55 year old. We really adore him as a coach and a person.
If its something you really want, I would go for it but that is just me. Life is too short not to take risks !!!

http://www.sprinker.org/

[phoenix]

8O 8O You drive to Tacoma from Alaska every week for lessons?? How long does that take you??

[twokidsskatemom]

He comes up here every other month or so. We have a novice level team he coaches. Sometimes its every month for a week, sometimes every two or three months.

:)
I have a clip of him doing the swing dance with my daughter if you want to see it. I think he has more adult students than kids. He has a male skater who is ISI Gold 10 who is 50, come dowm there to take lessons.I also know they have a Great dance weekend in SF every year.

[Isk8NYC]

You don't have to live too near the job. A fifteen minute commute puts you a half-hour away from a rink. While there's no dance instructor there that anyone's aware of, it's possible someone has a dance background but no students. Or there are other students interested in dance, which would attract a dance instructor. If there are few instructors to start with, you could start teaching and make some extra money to support your skating habit. It also seems to get cold enough to freeze ice outside, so there could be winter rinks or pond skating.

It sounds like this company really wants you on staff. Maybe you could negotiate some telecommuting each week or a non-traditional schedule. A lot of the new rinks have installed wireless access. You could even drive to a distant rink once a week for a lesson, working from the rink in between sessions.

There are options, so keep an open mind. I'll keep a good thought that this works out in a good way.

[phoenix]

Thank you everone for all the replies & PMs you've been sending. I greatly appreciate it. I know that I need to be open minded, but I must say right this minute I'm thinking "no" more than "yes". Part of that is probably because everytime I step on the ice to skate or teach this week, I start to cry. :cry:

[dooobedooo]

I really related to it when you said that you started to cry ...

I think you can probably manage some sort of mix.

Do go up and talk to them (as though you are really interested), and look around at the local area. But at the same time, try to work out with them whether you can do a lot of the work remotely (ie. from home). A friend of mine does management coaching and university training planning from home. She manages it all with a broadband/telephone cheap connection, and doesn't have to meet with people very often - and all the meeting timings are under her control. Perhaps you can work out something where you just go up for, say, two days a fortnight, or alternatively, just work from home.

Also, I do perceive that the coaching may be a second career for you, and you can't risk losing that. It might be almost impossible to establish yourself at another arena.

There is no earthly reason why you shouldn't be able to carry on juggling careers and skating like you are doing at present - but DO make financial planning for the future a priority. Someone of 38 should be putting 15 to 20 percent of their income into a pension plan or some sort of other retirement investment.